Thirteen
Ning Yien's poor condition is definitely not just due to low blood sugar.
I listened to the English listening practice before evening self-study in a daze and then fell asleep on the table without checking the answers or closing the book.
Lu Yunian leaned over to take a look at his answer, and his accuracy rate in this state was an astonishing 100%.
The teacher on duty during evening self-study could tell that Ning Yi'en was probably not feeling well, but despite his excellent grades, he didn't bother her.
I slept soundly through the first evening self-study session.
During the second evening self-study session, I stared blankly at the exercises spread out on the table for ten minutes, twirling my pen, before Tang Xuanling called me over to explain the problems.
About half an hour later, after answering my questions, I stared at my own practice problems for about five minutes before finally getting into the zone. After slowly working through a few problems, I realized that I hadn't done my homework for the day.
I browsed the content and then took my deskmate's homework to use as a reference.
The evening self-study session ended in such a chaotic manner.
"Brother Yanyan," the atmosphere was strange for a while on the way back, but after a period of silence, Lu Yunian hesitated before speaking to break the silence, "Are you alright?"
"It should be..." Ning Yi'en hesitated between "very good" and "so-so" before choosing to tell the truth: "Not so good."
He took a small can of beer from the convenience store refrigerator and gestured to Lu Yunian.
"I think I'll pass; I can't hold my liquor and I won't be able to get up tomorrow."
“That’s true, it’s better for minors not to drink alcohol.” Ning Yi’en put the can of beer back and took out a larger one instead.
After another moment of silence, Ning Yi'en spoke.
"Want to hear a story?" he asked Lu Yunian. "Well, not exactly a story, but some things about me."
"If you'd like to talk to me, of course."
“I…” Ning Yi’en hesitated before speaking.
"Actually, I could have avoided repeating a year of high school," he said. He added that his words might not make much sense or logic, so just take them as a joke.
Before Lu Yunian could offer any opinion, he continued speaking on his own (of course, Lu Yunian didn't say anything).
“A few days ago, my dad messaged me and said, ‘Son, I’ve been thinking about it, why don’t you go abroad too? The job market for the major you want to study is better overseas.’ I say ‘also’ because two of my childhood friends are studying abroad.”
"It's impossible to say I'm not tempted at all. Perhaps my willpower isn't strong enough. I've been quite upset about this lately."
“If there’s a better platform, then I’ll go there,” Lu Yunian said.
"Yes, that's why I took leave a couple of days ago to go back to Jingzhou. My dad said he'd take me with him to get some information about this."
"The capital... Shall we go back to the capital?"
"Yes, we'll talk about that later."
"The consulting firm said that given my situation, even if I apply, it is highly unlikely that I will be able to get into a top 2 domestic university, and even a C9 university might be difficult."
Ning Yi'en took another big gulp of wine. "So of course I won't agree. I'm sure I can get into a top 2 university through the college entrance exam, barring any unforeseen circumstances. That's what I told my dad too, but he said I was too confident and stubborn. But even if he says I'm arrogant, I still think it's a sure thing."
"So you're not leaving, right?"
"Hmm. I told him that if he really wants to spend money to send me abroad, he should save the money for when I go abroad to study for a master's or doctoral degree."
"I thought I had already let go of everything, but I didn't expect my condition to still be this bad." Ning Yi'en sighed and shook her head.
"To be honest, I'm actually from Jingzhou. I only came to Zhuzhou when I was in my third year of junior high school."
"I don't know if my family background is good or bad, but I think I'm quite happy. My family is probably considered well-off, although my parents are rarely home and are always busy with work, so they don't have much time to spend with me."
“But my grandfather was very good to me, as was my maternal grandmother. Although she was a teacher in Zhuzhou, she would always come to Jingzhou during winter and summer vacations and other holidays and take me out to play. I also have a very good relationship with my childhood friend, like family.”
“My grandfather passed away in the second semester of my second year of junior high school. By then, my parents’ careers were already on track. I thought they would spend more time with me, because if neither of them came back, I would be all alone in that big house.”
They always told Ning Yi'en that they would go home and spend time with him in a few days, and Ning Yi'en was very obedient and kept waiting. He didn't even remember how long he had been waiting.
One day, after he had gotten used to being alone, he came home to a brightly lit house, where his parents were warmly sitting on the sofa to welcome him home.
But instead of the companionship he expected, he was informed that his parents were getting a divorce.
"Actually, I've never really understood why they broke up, even though they have the right to pursue their own happiness."
"Perhaps they thought I was too young to explain things in a complicated way. My mother told me that the reason was probably because my father liked durian mille-feuille, but she only liked mango mille-feuille and couldn't stand the smell of durian at all. Like all divorced couples, they solemnly promised me that even after the divorce, they would still love me very much and that their love for me would only increase."
“They asked me very gently whether I wanted to be with my dad or my mom, but I didn’t really care,” Ning Yi’en shrugged.
Anyway... no matter who I'm with, in the end I'll be alone.
"Later, I still lived in that house. Maybe it was because I could still feel my grandfather there, or maybe it was because it was close to the school and my friends were all there. But during that time, my dad was able to come home a little earlier."
"Yan Yan..."
"Okay, go ahead."
"Nothing much, I just wanted to call your name."
"In the end, when Teacher Ning found out, she scolded the two of them for being irresponsible and asked me if I would like to go back to Zhuzhou with her. I agreed, and then I lived with my grandmother. This semester, I rented a place on my own because Teacher Ning was always going out to play and was never home this year, so I simply moved to a place closer to home for convenience, and also... a change of environment."
“But whenever she has free time, she brings some delicious food to come and see me.” Ning Yi’en’s face was overflowing with happiness when she mentioned Ning Sui. “By the way, I also asked her for some notes that she had compiled for her class before. I’ll give them to you when she gives them to me.”
"Oh, I also have to talk about repeating a year. My head is really spinning."
"No rush, take your time."
“In Jiannan, students with good grades take the entrance exam in their second year of high school, and I did. I don’t remember the exact score, but it should be close to the C9 level. My dad asked about my score and asked if I wanted to go to Jingzhou for my senior year of high school, since my household registration was still there and it would be much easier to take the exam there.”
"But I refused without even thinking about it, I was extremely stubborn, because I felt I could do it, I could do it anywhere. I wanted to prove it to them and to myself." He chuckled self-deprecatingly.
"As a result... my dad must have been extremely busy in June, but he still came the next day at noon, saying he would take me to take my English exam and cheer me on."
"Actually, I'm quite happy. He's a really nice person, it's just that he never had time to spend with me before."
"He drove me to the exam venue, and he was so worried that we wouldn't have enough time that he drove me way early..."
They were only a few intersections away from the exam site. Ahead, there was a car rear-end collision caused by an electric scooter going the wrong way. Their car had clearly stopped, but the large truck behind them, which wasn't slow either, crashed into them hard.
The car was covered in shattered glass.
A piece of broken glass was embedded between Ning Yi'en's right middle and ring fingers.
"...My first reaction was that it was good that there was still time. I could still take the exam after a quick fix. Even if I could only use my left hand, it was basically just filling in the answer sheet. Even if I didn't get any of the 40 points for the essay, if I did well on the last two subjects, I could still get into a top 2 university through the Strong Foundation Program."
"But... I can't really describe how I felt at the time. The moment I was hit, my dad's reaction was to protect me."
"My mind probably stopped working for those few minutes; I just numbly waited for the ambulance to come and take my dad to the hospital."
"His first reaction when he woke up and saw me was to tell me to hurry up and go to the exam room."
In fact, Ning Yi'en's father's attitude was particularly tough at the time, but Ning Yi'en was not willing to back down.
"I said there wasn't enough time, but I don't know if I could actually make it by rushing. But I definitely wouldn't go."
I've remembered the look in his eyes back then for a long time. It was probably a mixture of disappointment and remorse, but I couldn't quite decipher it.
“Until yesterday, he told me that he wanted me to go to Jingzhou, wanted me to finish my exams back then, and now he wants me to go abroad, all because he doesn’t want me to have so much pressure anymore. He always ignored my feelings before, but now he just wants me to be happy…”
"But the reason I didn't take the exam might just be because he's my father, and I couldn't just stand by and do nothing. As for the rest, I guess I was just being stubborn, but I'll always prove myself."
Ning Yi'en finished the last sip of beer, stomped on the bottle on the ground in a fit of anger.
—Of course, I didn't actually kick it away; I just pretended to kick it and then picked it up and put it in the trash can next to me.
"There's something else I've never told anyone except Teacher Ning,"
"When I got off the bus that day, I saw the person riding the bicycle in front of me get hit and thrown several meters away. It looked like one of his legs was separated from his body..."
That one glance, perhaps Ning Yi'en didn't see it clearly, or perhaps it was filtered through a heavy gray lens in her memory, but that scene was like dark clouds lingering on a dreary summer evening. There was no wind, so the oppressive feeling of dark clouds pressing down on the city and the suffocating feeling of not being able to breathe weighed on Ning Yi'en for a very long time.
“I don’t know what will happen to him in the end, but I can’t help thinking about it. For the rest of June, I basically locked myself in my room all day, but no matter what I did—whether it was playing video games like crazy or doing endless homework to numb myself—as long as I had even a second of free time, the scene from that day would keep replaying in my mind…”
"Later, my grandmother realized my state at the time and coaxed me to go out and play in July. It took me a long time to adjust my mindset in early August, and I finally came back to school in the middle of the month."
Ning Yi'en didn't continue speaking, and Lu Yunian looked down at the increasingly long shadow under the streetlights, also remaining silent.
"Can I... hug you, Yan Yan?" A thought that had been hidden in her heart suddenly burst out in a moment.
Lu Yunian didn't know if this was the right thing to do, but many people comforted their friends this way, and Ning Yi'en probably wouldn't refuse.
Both of them stopped in their tracks.
Ning Yi'en was clearly surprised by his words and looked at Lu Yunian with some astonishment.
Lu Yunian's mind raced, trying to figure out if he had said something wrong. But before he could even process that, his arms were already outstretched, ready to hug someone.
Ning Yi'en didn't answer him whether it was okay or not, but walked towards him and embraced him.
The quiet night seemed to consist only of the two of them; their heartbeats overlapped for a moment, and their breaths mingled as if trying to pierce through the sweltering summer heat.
Ning Yi'en wasn't much shorter than Lu Yunian. So when he wanted to rest his head on Lu Yunian's shoulder, he had to bend down slightly.
"Wait for me," Lu Yunian took a small step back and stood on the stone steps in front of the flower bed, making their height difference more obvious. "You can be in my arms..."
"I see that's how girls comfort people."
Ning Yi'en finally leaned against Lu Yunian's chest.
It was very quiet; none of them spoke.
In fact, Ning Yi'en's negative emotions had been diluted over time, but she still felt inexplicably like to cry.
Lu Yunian gently patted Ning Yi'en's back and whispered in his ear that he could confide anything to him from now on, that Ning Yi'en's future would be bright and full of happiness, and that they would be very, very good friends forever.
"Lu Yunian, I've made up my mind." After another stretch of quiet walking side by side, Ning Yi'en spoke.
"What."
"name."
“‘Star’ is good, like the stars in the sky.”
"It's fine whatever name you chose. Is there any origin story behind it?"
“I’m so happy to have met you and to have spent every moment with you.” Ning Yi’en started to walk a little unsteadily. “The reason I call you ‘Single’ is because it’s flexible. Today I’ll call you Little Star, tomorrow I’ll call you Star, and the day after that I’ll call you Lu Xing.”
"Happy, but the stars in the starry sky? Why?"
"Because I'm illiterate after drinking."
I'm so happy and lucky to have met you.
Because I hope you can always shine like a star.
It can illuminate all darkness.
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