A Tao's older sister was a light cavalry guard who could ride a warhorse into battle and reclaim the grain that had been seized by the enemy. She had made great contributions in a battle for grain supplies.
How could they possibly look down on a princess like me who wields swords and spears?
It was only later that I slowly began to appreciate its flavor.
That day, I was distracted while practicing my shooting skills, my mind filled with the reprimands my elder brother, the Crown Prince, had given me a few days earlier.
He said, "If you continue to be so unruly and disobey etiquette, I will inform my father and have you confined to your palace to reflect on your actions."
The threat in that tone weighed on my heart like a stone, and my wrist loosened, causing the gun barrel to slam into my forearm.
The bluish-purple bruises quickly surfaced, resembling an unsightly birthmark, and hurt when touched.
Ling Shuang noticed this, quickly walked over, grabbed my wrist, and massaged it for me. The calluses on her fingertips brushed against the red marks on my wrist.
The force was neither too light nor too heavy, yet it brought tears to my eyes—it was a force imbued with tenderness.
Unlike the palace maids who would fawn over me and say things like, "The princess is precious and must not be hurt."
They will never understand the joy I feel when I hold a gun, nor the resentment I feel when I am injured.
She looked at me and sighed, saying, "The princess is too innocent." The regret in her eyes was impossible to hide, as if veiled by a layer of mist.
It was only then that I belatedly realized that they had long seen through my timidity towards my elder brother, the Crown Prince—the moment he frowned, I dared not mention practicing spear again.
I noticed my hesitation in quietly returning the gun to the armory because of the Crown Prince's gossip that "my sister is unbecoming" and "doesn't act like a woman."
I was always afraid of upsetting him, afraid that he would speak ill of me in front of my father, and afraid that I would really be confined to my quarters and never be able to come to this training ground again.
But they forgot the exhilaration they felt when holding the gun, and forgot what Ling Shuang and the others had said: "Do what you like, don't let other people's opinions hold you back."
I also forgot that my father knew I was at the training ground, and that my mother's martial arts skills were no weaker than those of ordinary soldiers. I also overlooked the lack of confidence in my words when my elder brother, the Crown Prince, threatened me.
The Crown Prince's disrespect towards them was obvious to everyone.
When his father and Prince Zhao were alive, he would nod politely and say a few words like, "The soldiers have worked hard for the Ning Dynasty, but there was not a trace of sincerity in his voice."
His gaze would unconsciously avoid the scars on their armor, as if afraid those scars would taint his eyes.
But when she turns around, she will sneer at the servants beside her, belittling their training results as worthless.
To say that "women wearing armor and going into battle is an absurd and laughable thing" is ridiculous.
It was just that the Emperor was being soft-hearted and giving them a chance. When it comes to the battlefield, they will still need men to protect them.
The contempt in her tone was so clear that even A-Tao, who was passing by, could hear it clearly. When she came back and told me about it, her eyes were red with anger.
It was then that I truly understood what King Zhao had said.
"People in the world are either men or women. Men can wield swords to defend the land, and women can wear armor to protect the borders. This mutual support is the foundation for a country's long-term stability."
Therefore, anyone who instigates any form of conflict, including but not limited to conflict between men and women, is a traitor to the state, severing the limbs of the nation and destroying the stability of the dynasty.
At that time, I only felt that what she said made sense, but I did not understand that the word "opposition" was also hidden in the contempt of the Crown Prince.
It was hidden in my cowardice towards him, hidden in those fallacies that "women should not practice martial arts."
Those soldiers, having long been on the battlefield and seen countless deaths, understood best the weight of the word "disregard" on their shoulders.
It can render even the best skills useless, dull the sharpest spearhead, and bend a spine that could have stood straight.
So when they sighed at my naivety, perhaps they weren't praising my simple mind, but rather lamenting that I was unaware of being in a fog, and that even though I held a gun, I was still afraid of my elder brother, the Crown Prince, gossiping.
She feared the frown of her elder brother, the Crown Prince, and that the identity of "princess" would be like an invisible shackle, binding her hand that held the gun and restricting the freedom she longed to pursue.
On one occasion, I was hiding behind the weapon rack, secretly imitating the way the soldiers in the distance twirled their spears. The spear shaft spun clumsily in my palm, and I almost dropped it several times.
The sweat on my palms made the gun barrel slippery, making it even harder to grip.
Yao Guang happened to pass by, her boots making no sound as she stepped on the blue bricks.
She paused slightly, not looking at me, her gaze still fixed on the team training on the field.
But then he suddenly whispered, "Your Highness, whether or not you should hold the gun in your own hand is a question for the tip of the gun."
Does it want to be unsheathed? Does it want to protect people? Does it want to break through the obstacles in its path?
Instead of asking others, questioning imposed rules, and especially avoiding questioning one's own inner cowardice.
Her voice was soft, yet it was like a pebble thrown into still water, creating ripples in my heart.
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
