Ren Suo didn't get home until almost 11 o'clock, and as soon as he got back, he handed the gifts to his parents.
Ren's father immediately took the things to the study, took photos of the unboxing and posted them on WeChat Moments. Ren's mother raised an eyebrow and asked, "You... don't buy anything else when you go shopping? Like chocolate or something?"
Ren Suo said, "I don't like chocolate."
Ren Ma opened her eyes wide and looked at Ren Suo, as if she saw a roasted pig running on the ground, and the pig's trotters were braised, as if they would be torn into pieces in the next second.
Ren Xingmei, who had just finished taking a shower and came out of the bathroom, giggled and said, "I don't like chocolate either, right? Why buy chocolate?"
Ren's mother was about to say something, but she hesitated. In the end, she took the SK-II set and went back to her room. Ren Suo gave the game disk of "Devil May" to Ren Xingmei and asked curiously, "You really don't like chocolate? I thought you liked Ferrero..."
"That's because you gave it to me," Ren Xingmei wiped her long hair with a towel and said, "You wouldn't give me bad chocolate... help me blow dry my hair."
"So what do you like to eat?"
"I like broad beans, the mustard-flavored kind."
Ren Suo raised his eyebrows. He also liked to eat broad beans, but he liked the crab roe flavor. He never thought that his sister liked the mustard flavor.
So everyone's preferences are different.
When he returned to the bedroom, he saw Black Cat watching a video on a tablet. Ren Suo greeted her, then lay down on the bed and took out his phone to edit a message, sending it to the group: "What gift do you want for Valentine's Day? By the way, this is my wish list. If you want to give me a gift, just pick any one."
Let’s not talk about what to do on that day, but gifts still need to be prepared in advance. It was fine if I didn’t have a festival before, but now that I have a festival and don’t show my appreciation, it’s like not asking for leave on Qingming Festival. I feel like I’m missing out.
What Ren Suo hated most was giving gifts, but now giving gifts had inevitably become one of his daily tasks, so he was ready to make a wish list and let the other party place an order based on it.
This wish list includes both physical and virtual items, ranging from a 30 yuan/month Junk Cloud membership to the latest graphics cards worth tens of thousands, with all kinds of price ranges available. Anyway, Ren Suo is sure that he will be happy with whatever he receives, so he decides not to let the other party suffer the torture of 'thinking about gifts' and directly hands the wish list to the other party.
However, it seems that, perhaps, he is the only one who thinks as decisively and efficiently as he does.
First, Mr. Mu replied: "I won't give you a gift, nor will I buy you a gift from that unromantic wish list."
"If you really want to ask me what I want, then the gift I want is this →"
Mr. Mu sent me a picture with two red books named "Marriage Certificates".
Ren Suo: "... Let's be reasonable. All the Civil Affairs Bureaus in the city must have been fully booked that day."
Mr. Mu: "Haha, who am I?"
Ren Suo thought about it and found himself stupid - Qiao Muyi was the deputy director of the Countermeasures Bureau, she would not do anything illegal or criminal like robbing a man or hiding his husband in a mansion, but it was very easy to cut in line at the Civil Affairs Bureau...
Ren Suo: "But I'm afraid that I will trigger the criminal law. Can I first see if Xuanguo will enact a new marriage law that adapts to the changes in the monk society..."
Mr. Mu: "Okay, you're thinking about bigamy before you even get married. You're indeed Xiao Suo, who wants to stay with me forever and grow old together."
Why?
Ren Suo felt something was wrong. Although there were cold words on the screen, Qiao Muyi seemed particularly flammable and explosive today.
No, in the routine contacts over the past two days, Qiao Muyi spoke very little. She just said good night to Ren Suo and ended the conversation. Ren Suo thought she was tired from practicing, but now thinking about it, it seems that she was just holding back her anger.
Now I’m afraid that the three-stage rage bar is finally full, and I want to lock in my true and super-killing secret move.
"Are you angry?"
"Why am I angry?"
"Then let's get the certificate."
The other party was silent.
"What certificate?"
"Marriage certificate."
"The two of us?"
"The two of us."
"real?"
"real."
"You didn't lie to me?"
"If I lied to you, I would have eaten roast duck for three days during Chinese New Year."
After a while, Master Mu asked, "What about Cheng Ling and Yue Yan?"
"Yueyan is too young to get one. I'll ask Chengling later. If she's willing, I'll get another one." Ren Suo replied seriously, "Don't worry. I have a way to solve the problem of bigamy, but it will take a few days."
Ren Suo had it all thought out. After he cleared the level and had time to summon, he could use "Clear Spring Flowing Sound" to summon the virtual master Irina and let her invade the Xuan Kingdom network to conceal Ren Suo's crimes. Wouldn't that be wonderful?
"Negative emotions from Qiao Muyi +999."
Mr. Mu: "I'm telling you, I'm really angry now."
Ren Suo: "I was wrong. Can you tell me what you want so I can buy it for you to make amends?"
Mr. Mu: "If I really want something, I will buy it myself. Why should I ask you to give it to me? Similarly, if you want something, you can just ask me directly. I will buy it for you, but I won't give it to you as a surprise gift. Have you ever thought about what gift you can give me?"
Ren Suo: "I thought about it. I drank coffee in Guangming Square for an hour and a half, thinking about what gift to give."
Mr. Mu: "So what is the result of your thinking?"
Ren Suo: "Nothing. I thought about you for half an hour."
On the other side, Qiao Muyi, who was lying on the sofa holding her orange cat and playing with her mobile phone, couldn't help but sigh when she saw these words.
"What were you thinking about for the other hour..."
Qiao Muyi thought about it and decided to delete this boring sentence. But she was still angry and gnashed her teeth, making a mumbling sound, which scared the orange cat Xiao Suo Gonggong so much that he meowed and stepped on the milk to please his owner.
"Qiao Muyi, Qiao Muyi, you have to be ruthless and force him!" Qiao Muyi said viciously, and threw the orange cat in her arms into the air, scaring the orange cat so much that it barked loudly.
Then Qiao Muyi grabbed the air, and used invisible magic power to bind the floating orange cat in the air, and slowly dragged it back into Qiao Muyi's arms. The orange cat was so scared that it almost lost a pound of weight.
Mr. Mu: "You sound nice [○｀Д′○], did you and Cheng Ling meet with each other's parents on the fourth day of the New Year? Did you discuss matters like having a baby?"
Ren Suo subconsciously wanted to ask, "How did you know that?", but after thinking about it, he felt that there was no need to ask, so he answered directly: "Yes, that's true. Was that what you were angry about before?"
Mr. Mu: "Fortunately you are not in front of me, otherwise I would let you know how angry I am."
Ren Suo scratched his head, feeling that Qiao Muyi was still holding back her anger. Typing online would only give her more time to aim and lock onto her, so he called her directly.
The first time I was hung up, the second time I was hung up, and the third time I was connected: “I only give you time for one sentence.”
"Are we going to travel around the world before considering having kids?"
"..." Qiao Muyi was silent for a moment, then said seriously: "Xiao Suo, do you think I'm so easy to fool?"
"No, you are angry. I have discussed with Cheng Ling the relevant issues of having children, so why don't I talk to you about having children now..."
Qiao Muyi: "I'm angry because you want to have a child with another woman. Why can't you just go with me to the Civil Affairs Bureau and sign?"
"Then... to express our apology, we will just have fun and not have children?"
"No, I like children."
"So...just one? Do you prefer a girl or a boy?"
"No, at least two, preferably twins."
Qiao Muyi lost her parents when she was young and lived under the care of others. In fact, she unexpectedly has a motherly side in her heart. She lacked love since she was young, and when she grew up, her worldview was slightly distorted, but Ren Suo corrected it. Therefore, she is very eager to raise a few children and let them feel the happiness that she lacked in her childhood.
After deciding on the best age difference between the two children, Qiao Muyi hung up the phone with a satisfied look on her face, and then she suddenly came to her senses - wait, I was actually fooled by Xiao Suo! ? Was I just hit by his lowering of intelligence! ?
Then Ren Suo sent another message: "（づ￣3￣）づ╭?～Good night"
"Tsk..." Qiao Muyi muttered, "This guy only knows how to act cute..."
But Qiao Muyi thought for a long time and still didn't want to break the happy mood at the moment. She put down her phone, picked up the fat orange cat, put it in her arms and stroked it gently, lying on the sofa and whispered: "Let's force him here today, take it slowly, and sooner or later force him to the corner of the bed..."
The orange cat's whole body went limp and he let out a long breath, feeling thankful for having another peaceful day of his cat life.
…
…
Dong Chengling's reply was still "whatever", while Gu Yueyan's reply was "I want a gift made by you personally."
But like Qiao Muyi, they are all classical lovers, and they are not interested in giving gifts according to Ren Suo's wish list. Instead, they prepare gifts that they think Ren Suo will like. Their emphasis on gifts highlights how materialistic, money-worshiping, realistic, and ugly Ren Suo is.
However, Gu Yueyan reminded Ren Suo that, yes, they all wanted "sincere gifts", so they could just make them themselves.
So what to do?
Ren Suo, who had no inspiration at all, suddenly remembered something. He chose to sit down, open the small world game console, and click to enter the mysterious tavern he had not seen for a long time.
因为这些日子不是经常打开小世界游戏机主界面，而且《光暗叛徒》并没有摸不着头脑的卡关，因此任索都快忘记这个地方了。
但今天一打开，有惊喜！
《深夜走鬼》的主角，厨娘正在酒馆里喝酒！
她坐在吧台上，似乎正在和浑身黑雾缠绕的酒馆老板聊天。任索进入酒馆，她马上就注意到任索的到来，转过头看向屏幕外的任索：「好久不见。」
「好久不见。」
这时候酒馆老板忽然将吧台上的东西全部收走，任索好奇问道：「你们刚才在聊什么？」
酒馆老板冷冷说道：「今天有什么问题想问的吗？」
酒馆老板想转移话题，但厨娘却是很诚实地说道：「嗯？没聊什么，老板给了我一点手工巧克力让我尝尝，跟我讨论这么才能将巧克力做得更好吃。」
巧克力啊……任索想了想，问道：「那怎么做才能将巧克力做得更好吃呢？」
「我的方案是这样的，首先你要准备好细沙糖、鲜奶油与细切的巧克力……」
厨娘细细说了一大堆手工巧克力的制作方法，最后说道：「制作巧克力最终还是需要熟能生巧，需要自己一次次把控味觉和时间才能做出好吃的巧克力……当然，如果你按照我的步骤来，那就肯定能做出还算好吃的巧克力。」
熟能生巧啊……
任索若有所思地点点头，熟能生巧，多简单的事！
四个小时，够分身制作五六七八次了吧？哪怕经验无法累积到本体，但只要……
然而任索转念一想，觉得还是算了。这事还是自己亲自来吧，不能什么都依靠分身，这样做出来的巧克力是没有灵魂和诚意的。
但不对啊，分身的工作就是我的工作，分身的诚意就是我的诚意……
虽然任索很快就为自己偷懒找到借口，但他还是打定主意这次要自己来：毕竟他也没做过手工巧克力，感觉会很有趣。
如果真的很无聊，那明年就让分身来吧，假如他还有明年的话。
聊完之后，厨娘喝完酒就离开了，酒馆老板再一次没好气地问道：「你有什么事？」
本来任索是没什么事想问的，不过既然酒馆老板主动招揽生意，他便问道：「《光暗叛徒》我现在玩到螺湮城里，杀了世嘉大法，后面该怎么做？」
任索是真的不知道后面该干什么了，毕竟洛斯现在又不会返回黑降接受指令，想砍人又不知道砍谁，任务目标又没什么线索。
「10点功勋值。」
痛快地给钱后，酒馆老板说道：「你跟着剧情走就行了。」
任索差点忘了，这个酒馆老板最喜欢就是说废话。
我也知道要跟着剧情走啊，但现在没有剧情！
洛斯藏在宅邸里，也不知道波耶西亚信徒的死讯可以隐瞒多久，他顶多就替换成世嘉大法逃跑，但也不知道能逃去哪——那可是神裔的大本营，螺湮城！
「主角按着剧情走，现在该逃就逃，只需要隐藏一会，主角很快就会获得玩家的帮助，获得下一个任务目标的相关信息。」
「收到可观的小费，酒馆老板偷偷告诉你：在获得玩家的帮助后，洛斯很快就能寻觅到下一个任务目标。」
这恐怕是我花的最冤枉的一笔功勋了。
任索心想《光暗叛徒》可能就是一个不需要任何提示的游戏，所以他强行提问的话，神秘酒馆就只能强行给他一个车轱辘话的回答。
但亏了就亏了，难道任索还能打爆屏幕让酒馆老板还钱吗？他郁闷地离开神秘酒馆，继续游玩《光暗叛徒》。
这时候他想起什么，转过头对黑猫说道：“露娜，我会帮你准备好所有虚拟主播的准备，这个作为你的情人节礼物吼不吼啊！”
“秒啊~”黑猫回答道。
很好，露娜是最容易解决的。
进入《光暗叛徒》，任索马上检查洛斯击杀世嘉大法的收获。
「世嘉土星战甲：灵能防御值5/30000，每秒自动补充5点灵能值，穿戴时始终处于‘波耶西亚的守护’中，无形的阴影火焰将覆盖战甲，免疫一切火焰伤害，消除装备者的存在感，加强潜伏能力，加强恐惧效果，并且可以无声行动。」
「波耶西亚的血裔腰带：7凹槽，每增加一枚波耶西亚系列的卡带，装备者的超自然抗性+5%。可以装备2枚神裔卡带，可以激活专属血裔卡带效果。」
以及两张「三星残暴勇士」卡带，以及无声行动卡带组。
任索便发现这个游戏的终极装备设定：专属血裔腰带，搭配专属血裔卡带，便可以激活专属血裔光环特效。
不过加上任索自己合出来的「三星残暴勇士」卡带，他现在已经有三张一样的终极血裔卡带。
继，继续合成？
任索将三张血裔卡带放进融合界面，选择融合。
无法融合。
但与此同时，游戏弹出了特殊提示：
「‘更好的战利品’检测到洛斯获得了多余的血裔卡带，触发隐藏兑换通道——」
「你现在可以消耗一张血裔卡带，外加10点功勋，直接进行抽选三星级别卡带（5选1）。」
血裔卡带就是最高级，无法继续晋升，但任索现在可以选择消耗血裔卡带，来直接获得高级三星卡带。
事不宜迟，任索连抽两次，就将「三星盲目愚者」抽出来了！
这张可以刷新技能的卡带几乎是洛斯无法放弃的装备，如果没有这个刷新技能，洛斯根本没法像现在这样，每隔十分钟就能变成小姐姐或者小哥哥到处欺骗路人。
然后洛斯便吸收了世嘉的尸体，蒙着脸离开了宅邸。
行动选项：「去世嘉在螺湮城建立的隐秘安全屋」、「去二环的室内酒馆暗杀某名神裔取而代之」。
任索想了想，酒馆老板说了，‘只需要隐藏一会’，所以他选择让世嘉去酒馆。螺湮城二环的酒馆跟现实里的酒吧差不多，依然都有激动人心的音乐和舞池。
但这里也没法随便杀人，除了天空的太阳和月亮，室内也有监视系统——夜母的聆听者！
酒馆墙壁的倒悬小丑，代表这里正在被夜母大君聆听！
于是洛斯随便找了个阴影疙瘩，靠近某个看起来丑得很一般的神裔，突然解除了伪装效果，露出真面目！
洛斯运气不错，普丑神裔居然认得出他：「你……」
然后洛斯瞬间定向爆发「残暴光环」、「盲目残暴」，外加残暴勇士的效果，瞬间造成将近八倍暴击，一击就打穿了普丑神裔的防御罩，全程保持在寂静无声状态，顺利取而代之！
就在这时候，酒馆忽然停下音乐，响起庄严的宣告：
「龙裔洛斯已经潜入螺湮城，所有神裔请返回居所接受检查。龙裔洛斯十分危险，可以伪装成神裔，所有神裔如果发现他人有怪异情况，请马上向卫队报告！」
「龙裔洛斯……」
就在这时候，一队神裔卫士冲进酒馆，将所有神裔隔离，逐个询问情况，检查是否有龙裔洛斯隐藏。
轮到洛斯，他被一名神裔卫士带去小房间询问调查。
等他出来的时候，他已经变成那名神裔卫士了。
无声行动卡带组合，真的可以为所欲为。
检查完毕，神裔卫士离开酒馆，这时候忽然有一名神裔拦住了他们，说道：「你们快点去伊苏大法的宅邸，索尼大法怀疑龙裔洛斯躲藏到伊苏大法的宅邸里，要求我们进行检查！」
「莫拉大君的伊苏大法？这会不会是大法之间的……」
「慎言！」
卫士队长马上闭上嘴，带着神裔卫士御空而行。
“还真是按着剧情走，就自然而然会弹出下一个目标……”任索嘟囔一句：“这情报费花的真是亏爆……哎呀好亏啊，至少三天三夜都会记着这事……”
……
……
“我说的那么直白，他会不会还是听不懂？算了，反正以后有他哭的时候。”
神秘酒馆里，正在擦杯子的酒馆老板暗暗嘟囔一句，放下杯子，拿出自己做的手工巧克力吃了一块，忍不住叹了口气。
他抽屉里拿出细砂糖等材料工具，准备按照厨娘的教导再做一遍。
不知道是不是因为过去的经历，他发现自己对一切都吹毛求疵。
他是洁癖，要求周围时时刻刻都一尘不染；
他是效率狂，绝不会拖延一分一秒；
他是完美主义者，就连做个巧克力，都要求尽善尽美。
可惜他的起点很低，毕竟那家伙除了第一年做了几次巧克力之后，之后就再也没做巧克力了……以至于他现在需要找厨娘来问问怎么做巧克力。
吱呀。
又来一个客人了。
然而当他抬起头一看，顿时眼睛一亮。
“你终于来了……”
“等了我好久？”来者坐在吧台上，笑道。
“我从负责这间酒馆开始，就一直等你来。”他说道：“我有好多好多事需要你帮忙。”
“例如？”
"For example, in making handmade chocolate, his starting point was too low. If he had started from a higher point, I wouldn't have to learn so hard..."
"So you need me to help him improve this skill in his dream? But wouldn't that just be giving him a taste of the sweetness? And it's so troublesome..."
"Let me in!" He slammed his fist on the bar and said, "I'll help you train him!"
The Moon Singer sighed, "Are you trying to take revenge?"
"Can the matter between him and me be called a personal vendetta? This is like a father beating his son, a grandfather beating his grandson!" The boss held Yue Yongzhe's hand and said, "Let me train him. I can't beat him now, but can't I bully him in the past?"
The Moon Singer thought about it and shook his head: "No, Luna won't allow it. You should give up on this idea. But I promise you, I will train him to make chocolate in my dream."
"At least, at least you have to agree to my request!" The boss bowed heavily: "This is my lifelong request! For the sake of our common suffering, please agree to my request."
“…Alright.” Seeing how pitiful he was, Yue Yongzhe couldn’t bear it any more: “As long as it’s not too much, I’ll agree to it.”
"That's absolutely not too much!" The boss clenched his fists and said heavily, "You just need to make him wear an apron!"
"So simple?" Yue Yangzhe was stunned.
"But don't let him wear anything but an apron."