Ding-a-ling

The crisp sound of the doorbell rang throughout the house. Lin Xianyu, who was sleeping among a pile of dolls in the bedroom, moved his ears, turned around, pulled the quilt to cover his head, and pretended not to hear the doorbell.

Ten years have passed, and not only has time failed to leave any trace on Lin Xianyu, it has even begun to regress. Since she started living alone in a large room, Lin Xianyu's sleeping posture has begun to develop towards that of a child. God knows how she ended up sleeping with her feet on the wall.

The doorbell rang three times before dying down, but a few seconds later, the bedroom door quietly opened. The fine hinge made no sound, as if a breeze blew the door open.

There were no footsteps.

There was no sound of breathing.

But Lin Xianyu was very clear that someone was walking in the darkness.

The girl's boudoir had been invaded. The uninvited guest had countless vicious materials in his hands. The evil aura permeating from them made Lin Xianyu tremble.

Her nose twitched, and her throat gurgled with a sound of desire, murmuring: "Broken internal organs, coagulated blood, entangled tentacles, lifeless eyeballs, twisted plants, shriveled limbs, mutilated brains, and stripped esophagus. The cruelty of red and white, the sweetness of yellow and brown..."

"Get up and eat hotpot. I went to Haidilao and bought takeout. There are golden tripe, blood tofu, squid tentacles, sheep eyeballs, kelp knots, pickled pork, boiled brain, and duck intestines. This time it's a tomato soup hotpot, and I also got sour plum soup with lemon juice."

Ren Suo turned on the bedroom light and put down the takeaway box unhappily. "You are too outrageous. I used to get up at 12 o'clock at most. How come you haven't gotten up yet at 7 o'clock in the evening?"

Lin Xianyu took off the doll on his body, rubbed his eyes, and said sleepily: "What you said... It's because you have to go to Teacher Dong for lunch at noon, so you have to get up at noon. Humph, you are worthy of being a henpecked husband."

"You're the only one who talks too much." Ren Suo flicked Lin Xianyu back into the pile of dolls and asked, "Do you want to eat here or in the living room?"

Lin Xianyu touched his forehead that was hit and said lazily, "In the living room."

Ren Suo went to the kitchen to get a pot, put the hot pot base in it and added hot water, and it was ready in a short while. But he found that Lin Xianyu hadn't gotten up yet, so he pulled her up helplessly: "Xiaotian doesn't even want to take a nap now! You can't even compare to a child!"

Lin Xianyu said lazily: "What you said... Which child can compare to Xiaotian... That kid is simply a more powerful replica of Teacher Dong... I even suspect that he spent money when he was reincarnated and chose the paradise-level difficulty Xinyue player exclusive profession 'Other People's Children', with a perfect background, perfect talent, and perfect personality..."

"But you're not a child!"

"I'm not married, I'm a child."

Lin Xianyu was chattering while being pushed by Ren Suo to the bathroom to brush her teeth and wash her face.

Lin Xianyu casually tied her hair into a high ponytail. Thinking about having hotpot later, she was too lazy to put on makeup. She sat down at the table excitedly and sighed, "I can tolerate the shabu-shabu, but why is there no spicy hotpot? Why did you order the shabu-shabu without spicy hotpot?"

Without waiting for Ren Suo to answer, Lin Xianyu seemed to understand something, covering her mouth and looking at Ren Suo: "Wow! Brother Ren, you are so far-sighted that you don't let me eat spicy food... But I don't want to! Even if the squad leader is willing, I don't want to!"

Ren Suo sighed, not for Lin Xianyu, but for himself.

He was a kind and innocent boy, but after all these years of hardship, he has grown to the point where he can instantly understand Lin Xianyu's dirty jokes.

There's even a more obscene one.

"You can eat spicy food, but I can't! You don't know how sensitive my sense of smell is. Li Dan and I would sneeze whenever we pass by a hot pot restaurant..." Ren Suo said unhappily, picking up a piece of tripe and putting it into the pot.

"Just brush the tripe for 10 to 15 seconds!" Lin Xianyu reminded as he put the duck intestines in: "Put it in the dish of my Thai sweet and spicy sauce."

"..." Ren Suo: "I cooked this for myself. If you want to eat it, cook it yourself."

Lin Xianyu was shocked: "What? You're still planning to eat? I saw you bought so little, I thought you bought breakfast just for me."

"Who would eat hot pot for breakfast... Don't you have noodles at home? Just wait and cook them."

The two chatted while eating hot pot. At this time, Lin Xianyu finally remembered something and said, "Why did you come here tonight? Tomorrow is our game day. Today should be your family's battle party, right?"

"What kind of scrimmage party? It's a parent-child day!" Ren Suo corrected her.

Lin Xianyu chuckled and said, "Only your family would have such a festival... But who can blame you for the restless ones in your family, who are always trying to gain power, make money, pursue careers, or cultivate magical powers... Even Luna has fallen in love with creating a dream world, and spends every day on the dark side of the moon. I just saw in my dream that she was going to build a starry sky stage that could accommodate seven billion people to watch."

Just as Lin Xianyu said, Ren Suo's family life is a little bit subtle now.

Ten years have passed. Dong Chengling, Qiao Muyi, Ren Xingmei, Gu Yueyan and even Luna have all started their own careers. They have to practice and pursue their dreams, and they simply don't have enough time. So they agree to set aside one day a week for a family gathering, to have fun and to spend time with their children.

Of course, although there is only one day a week for parent-child day, Ren Suo's sleeping arrangements at night are arranged, and he even has to work overtime to provide warmth occasionally.

On the contrary, Ren Suo has been regressing. He even quit his job as a healing monk in Tianlian College and took an idle position as the second secretary of the director of the Countermeasures Division of Lian Province, who is responsible for stealing taxpayers' taxes. The current director of the Countermeasures Division is named Qiao Muyi.

My daily job is to take care of the children.

Taking care of many children.

Ren Suo curled his lips: "What else? Should I follow your example and sleep until 7pm every day to get up and play games?"

Lin Xianyu chuckled, "Do you still have the qualifications to criticize me? Brother Ren, what great cause are you pursuing?"

"Cultivate the future flowers of the motherland!" Ren Suo said proudly.

Lin Xianyu: "Are you happy? Are you happy?"

Ren Suo snorted: "Of course I am happy, Xianyu, you won't understand."

Lin Xianyu counted on his fingers and said, "Well, you are not only taking care of the future flowers of the motherland, but also learning the cooking skills of a cook from scratch, and you can cook and provide delicious meals at any time; when they need you, you will teleport over and provide a one-stop caring service. The squad leader especially likes you to help her brush her teeth when she gets up; all the big and small affairs at home need your help to solve, or you use your clone to solve them..."

"Taking care of the children, handling household chores, satisfying your wife when she's in the mood, and providing support for her in pursuing her dreams...Brother Ren, I really don't understand your happiness."

Ren Suo was very upset by what she said.

After Lin Xianyu said this, Ren Suo felt so miserable.

Lin Xianyu chuckled and said, "After saying so much, you still haven't told me why you asked me to eat hotpot tonight. Shouldn't you be having a family dinner tonight?"

Ren Suo hesitated for a while, and he was not in the mood to blame Lin Xianyu for taking his tripe.

He sighed faintly and said, "I was kicked out."

Lin Xianyu ate her tripe while trying not to laugh: "Ah, I forgot to add this: I don't have much status at home..."

"This isn't called having no status. How can it be called having no status when it comes to matters between husband and wife?" Ren Suo didn't eat the spicy hot pot, but his face was already flushed red.

Lin Xianyu immediately exposed him: "Oh, I heard from the monitor that Sister Qiao punished you to kneel on the keyboard a few days ago."

"Actually, it's quite comfortable to kneel on a capacitive keyboard." Ren Suo first said a little useless knowledge, and then said indignantly: "It's all Wuxia who hurt me!"

Lin Xianyu asked curiously: "What happened to you, Xiao Wuxia?"

Ren Suo scratched his head: "Well, you know, sometimes the three of us sleep together. One day, after they fell asleep, Karen came to chat with me.

You know, because of the time difference, Karen always chats with me at night.

Wuxia woke up somehow, and secretly woke up her mother to report me..."

Lin Xianyu: "Then Sister Qiao discovered that you were flirting."

Ren Suo was anxious: "I didn't! But since Karen came to Tianlian College for exchange and study a few years ago, I don't know if it's because Master Mu took care of her, she became more and more naughty, and deliberately spoke in an ambiguous way, causing Master Mu to misunderstand!"

Lin Xianyu: "How can this be called a misunderstanding? Ambiguity is just love from day to day."

Ren Suo continued, "But Young Master Mu was just angry, and Karen went to explain everything to her later. You also know that she cares about her reputation, so I just gave in symbolically. This is just the way husband and wife get along, and it's a sign of high emotional intelligence!"

Lin Xianyu said while eating fish cakes: "It's a good thing that you are willing to think so. At least it will save you some pain."

"But hasn't Xiao Wuxia always been very close to you? She's so smart, she must have done something to you on purpose. Did you offend her?"

Ren Suo's eyes wandered: "It's time for her to start her enlightenment education. She learns quickly, but she is very naughty. I used Xiaotian as an example to scold her and spanked her a few times..."

Lin Xianyu sneered: "She deserves it. Xiao Wuxia hates being compared to others, unless you say she is better than others."

Ren Suo was a little distressed: "But I have to teach him well. I can't beat him well, and I can't scold him well. How do you teach him?"

Lin Xianyu thought about it and said, "Why not come up with a lottery system?"

"lottery?"

"You ask Xiaotian and Wuxia to write down their wishes, which are divided into N, R, SR, and SSR levels according to difficulty. Then input the wishes into the computer and set the delivery probability according to the level.

Every time Xiaotian and Wuxia achieve something, you reward them with some points. When they have enough points, they can participate in the lottery, which can be a single draw or ten consecutive draws. Ten consecutive draws guarantee a guaranteed R level... You have played a lot of mobile games, so you must understand.

Xiaotian is so well behaved, he will definitely get a lot of points soon. Then Xiao Wuxia will be very envious and will naturally study hard. "

Lin Xianyu's words suddenly enlightened Ren Suo, and he exclaimed: "I didn't expect that Xianyu, you are not very good at studying, but you have a complete study plan!"

Lin Xianyu glanced at him unhappily, with a gleam of wisdom in her eyes: "You can also ask Irina for help. For example, you can let Xiaotian draw an SSR-level wish alone, and Xiao Wuxia will definitely take the bait."

"Wow, you are such a sinister woman."

"It's the same with you. You are also a despicable and shameless man."

The two of them talked about business for a while, and Lin Xianyu suddenly realized: "No, I was asking why you were kicked out, how come the topic went so far?"

Ren Suo blinked, shrugged and said, "Well, it's not something to be happy about, and there's no point in talking about it... I'm full, take your time, I'll go check your game records."

Lin Xianyu raised his eyebrows slightly, quickly finished his hot pot, and grabbed Ren Suo who was opening the Small World game console: "Tell me! Why were you kicked out?"

Ren Suo: "Wow, you're almost done with Total War: Primordial, a 10-star game?"

Lin Xianyu hugged Ren Suo's arm and analyzed carefully: "First of all, because today is a family dinner, you can only be kicked out if you offend all the wives. Even if you offend four, there is still one to protect you."

"But it's impossible for Luna to be angry with you, so you must have angered the others, so that they had to unite to deal with you. Tell me, what did you do to make everyone angry at once?"

Lin Xianyu was really curious. You know, Ren Suo and the others had been married for ten years and had children, but how could Ren Suo still make them angry?

Unable to bear being shaken by Lin Xianyu, Ren Suo hesitated for a long time before saying, "It's, it's those things."

"What's up?"

"About sleeping."

Lin Xianyu blinked: "What do you mean? Have you finally been squeezed dry? Are you going to rebel?"

Without waiting for Ren Suo to answer, Lin Xianyu shook his head.

When Lin Xianyu was chatting with Gu Yueyan a few days ago, Gu Yueyan was still complaining to her, saying that Ren Suo was simply not a human being. Gu Yueyan was obviously just looking for Ren Suo to be a big doll to hold while sleeping. After all, she was already very tired as a teacher during the day.

Unexpectedly, as soon as Ren Suo closed the door, his eyes would glow green and he would stay awake all night. Their couple's life was so harmonious and sweet that Gu Yueyan felt that once a week was enough and even sighed that it was a good thing that he was not alone.

Lin Xianyu even suspected that Gu Yueyan was tricked into Stockholm by Ren Suo in this way.

Ren Suo hesitated for a while and said softly, "I just think that we have been married for so many years, and we are all here tonight, so..."

Although Ren Suo's words were vague, who was Lin Xianyu? As the strongest dirty joke player in Tianlian College, Lin Xianyu immediately understood what Ren Suo meant: "What are you talking about parent-child day? You're obviously thinking about the free-for-all party!"

Lin Xianyu crossed his hands: "But that's not right, I remember you tried them all, right? Five people paired up in pairs, and you succeeded in all nine ways!"

Ren Suo: "Yue Yan really told you everything..."

Lin Xianyu continued, "Even if they are angry that you want one dragon and two phoenixes, they won't kick you out... Do you want three heroes to fight Lu Bu?"

Ren Suo: "...Can the three heroes fighting Lu Bu still be used like this?"

Lin Xianyu rejected this idea again: "But the monitor has complained to me three times, namely [Monitor, Little Star, Luna], [Monitor, Luna, Teacher Dong], [Monitor, Little Star, Teacher Dong]... Only Sister Qiao is missing."

"I don't believe you didn't do anything to Sister Qiao, so since everyone has tried it, they won't be so angry as to kick you out."

Lin Xianyu frowned slightly: "You don't want to... return to the world, do you?"

Ren Suo couldn't help but rub his temples, once again feeling sad that he could instantly understand Lin Xianyu's dirty jokes.

But he shook his head, blushing slightly, and said, "My family...recently bought a super big bed."

Lin Xianyu was stunned for a moment.

She was very smart and realized the correct answer immediately.

The intense shock hit her pituitary gland so hard that her jaw almost dropped and she could only stare at Ren Suo stupidly.

Three seconds later, Lin Xianyu finally came back to his senses, clapped his hands vigorously, and said in a respectful tone: "You are worthy of it! You are worthy of the big brother Ren I know! I, Lin Xianyu, am willing to call you a true strong man!"

"No wonder you were kicked out. You actually wanted to defeat five enemies in one night!?"