Chapter Forty-Eight
Outside the window, the first rays of sunlight greeted the misty sky, casting dappled light and shadow through the gauze curtains onto the tabletop.
Xing Bei gently turned the page and clearly saw the date and text on the blank page. Her heart skipped a beat.
July 17, 2013, Sunny
She fell in love at first sight.
July 21, 2013, Sunny
Her name was Xing Bei, which is a name with a very auspicious meaning.
August 12, 2013, cloudy and rainy.
Why is my mind filled with thoughts of you? Okay, I admit I miss you a little.
Cloudy on August 29, 2013
From now on, I can only visit you once a week on weekends. I really wish we could go to the same school.
Light rain on October 13, 2013
I saw you again today, but I noticed you were getting very close to another guy. I was a little unhappy, but I didn't have the right to be jealous.
Rain on December 11, 2013
So he was the person you liked.
Light Snow on January 31, 2014
Happy New Year, Xing Bei!
April 2014
I've realized I'm hopeless. I miss you so much.
June 2014
Happy birthday, Xing Bei.
I hope your wish comes true.
Xing Bei noticed that Lu Runxu stopped writing detailed dates later on, and the notes he made were fragmented.
The brief text clearly shows how distressed Lu Runxu was at the time. Judging from the timeline, Lu Runxu met her before Zhou Xuzhe.
But she didn't remember him. Xing Bei deeply understood the feeling of watching the person she liked fall in love with someone else.
The thought of Lu Runxu secretly liking her from a place she couldn't see made Xing Bei's heart feel like it had been ripped apart, and the pain spread throughout her body, causing her hand holding the notebook to tremble.
She fought back the warm tears welling up in her eyes and continued reading. On the next page, the handwriting became noticeably larger and the ink darker.
April 17, 2021
Summer is here. I don't want to like you anymore.
Forget it, I realize I can't do it. Giving up on liking you would hurt me even more.
March 22, 2022
Spring has arrived.
It was a surprise to meet you at the Cloud Cafe. Does that mean we're destined to meet?
May 2022
Why did you disappear again? I miss you so much.
Xing Bei thought about it seriously. It seemed that she was traveling during that time and hadn't been in Chanjing for several months.
October 24, 2022
I'm so happy to see you all at Cloud Cafe again today.
But you really don't seem to remember me. I'm really looking forward to seeing you again.
November 22, 2022
After meeting you three times, I finally have your contact information. I will make you truly like me.
February 15, 2023
The camellias on you smell so good; I wish you belonged only to me.
February 23, 2023
I dreamt of you again, and I really wanted you to kiss me.
November 24, 2023
We finally got married, but I know you don't like me. But that's okay, I'll make you unable to live without me.
February 4, 2024
us.
With a soft thud, a crystal-clear tear, like a pearl with a broken string, suddenly slid down from the corner of her eye, falling straight onto the word "we," splashing up a small spray of water.
Was it worth all these years of waiting?
Xing Bei raised her hand to wipe away the tears from the corners of her eyes, took out her phone and called Lin Zhuochi.
As Lu Runxu's best friend, he must know something else, and she must find out the truth.
When Lin Zhuochi received the call, he heard the person on the other end urgently wanting to see him. Thinking something serious had happened, he put down his work and rushed over.
He rushed to the Cloud Cafe, leaning on the corner of the table, panting heavily, and noticed something familiar in front of the person opposite him.
He paused, then cautiously looked at Xing Bei's expression. Her bright, peach-blossom eyes were red and swollen, clearly from crying.
Lin Zhuochi sighed inwardly. It seemed that Lu Runxu's secret, which he had kept hidden for so long, could not be kept forever.
But this is pretty good. The two of them are in love now, and this is a blessing in disguise.
Lin Zhuochi sat opposite Xing Bei, his gaze fixed on the gray notebook on the side: "Sister Bei Bei, after reading this notebook, I think you understand what's going on without me having to say anything more."
Xing Bei lowered her eyes, seemingly lost in thought, and suddenly said, "He really has liked me for so long."
Lin Zhuochi looked up and smiled: "Only a coward like Lu Runxu would like someone for ten years without saying it."
Xing Bei was puzzled: "But we're already together, why has he been so honest with me all this time?"
Lin Zhuochi recalled Lu Runxu's previous answer to him and repeated it verbatim to Xing Bei: "Axu said that he didn't want to mix guilt into his relationship with you."
"Even if you can't remember ever meeting him, that's okay. They can start over, from friends to lovers, and then become life partners."
"So he plans to keep this secret to himself forever?" Xing Bei asked, somewhat exasperated. "If I never find out in my entire life, does he intend to keep it from me forever?"
He was Lu Runxu's best friend. Back then, seeing him burdened with a lot of homework and having to spend several hours each week traveling between Chanjing and Qingyang, he advised him to be more proactive.
Lu Runxu just smiled. Later, he learned that the girl already had someone she liked. Knowing Lu Runxu's personality, he understood that it was impossible for him to give up.
When they reunited in Chanjing, he used his connections in the industry to keep track of Xing Bei's relationship status for Lu Runxu.
He also encouraged Lu Runxu to express his feelings in person, but Lu Runxu refused.
He didn't understand Lu Runxu's actions before, but after what happened between him and Chi Qingtang, he realized that some things are not so easy to say.
The pain of unrequited love is something you can't express. It just keeps spreading in your heart, punishing you day and night. But if you say it out loud, it feels pretentious, like you're using your emotions to hold your freedom hostage.
Lu Runxu is extremely picky and obsessive when it comes to love. Once he sets his mind on someone, he'll stick with them for life and doesn't like mixing other elements into his pure affection.
Lin Zhuochi leaned back on the sofa like he had no bones: "It's not too late to know now. Anyway, you're already together, so it doesn't matter whether you tell me or not."
Xing Bei frowned, strongly disagreeing with his point of view: "Of course they're different."
Because she had once loved someone passionately, she understood how unbearable the painful times were before truly being with the person you love.
Three or five years may pass in the blink of an eye, but Lu Runxu's affection lasted for ten years. How many decades does a person have in a lifetime?
He witnessed her gradually fall in love with someone else. How heartbroken Lu Runxu must have been at that time!
Lin Zhuochi knew he had no right to ask Xing Bei for anything, but he had also seen Lu Runxu's affection for him over the years.
Looking at Xing Bei, he still wanted to say something from his heart: "Sister Bei Bei, whether you like someone or not is Lu Runxu's own business, and I have no right to ask you to do anything."
Lin Zhuochi stared at the person opposite him, his tone sincere: "But as A-Xu's good friend, I hope that you genuinely like him, and that your liking is not just a return of his affection because of his unrequited love."
Xing Bei's hand, resting on the notebook, unconsciously caressed the cover, her heart aching with sadness and heartache.
On her way home, Xing Bei's mind was filled with thoughts of Lu Runxu. Some previously overlooked memories flashed before her eyes, clear yet slow.
She recalled a story Lu Runxu had told her a long time ago; it turned out that the protagonist of that story was himself.
There were also the mint bouquets that often appeared in her field of vision; he must have been the one who quietly sent her flowers during her university years.
It turns out that Lu Runxu's fondness for mint flowers wasn't necessarily due to the flowers themselves, but rather the symbolism they carried.
I hope to meet you again.
Unbeknownst to her, the car had already driven out of the city center. It wasn't until they arrived at No. 256 Xingfu Street that Xing Bei finally came to her senses.
Xing Bei pushed open the door and walked directly to the second-floor studio. She stood in the place where she used to paint often, and could see the big tree when she looked down.
It turns out that all it takes is one glance.
Xing Bei couldn't hold back her tears any longer and leaned against the French windows, bursting into loud sobs.
She could have easily noticed it by simply turning her head, but she never paid any attention to it.
Why.
The room was filled with Xing Bei's heart-wrenching cries. If she had noticed sooner, would Lu Runxu have had to suffer so much?
She had helped him here before, how could she forget him so easily?
*
Lu Runxu felt anxious all morning, but after finishing his work and seeing the photos Xing Bei sent, a smile gradually appeared on his face.
He was about to exit the chat window to finish his work so he could go home and be with Xing Bei, when he saw messages popping up on the page.
Perhaps knowing he wouldn't read it, the other party immediately called him with a voice call, a hint of annoyance flashing in their eyes.
As soon as he answered the call, the other party's loud voice came through: "Ah Xu, Sister Bei Bei just came to see me."
Upon hearing these words, Lu Runxu felt a strange, dull ache in his heart.
The next second, an unbelievable message reached his ears.
“Sister Beibei already knows your secret. You should go back and tell Beibei.”
Before Lin Zhuochi could finish speaking, the other party had already hung up the phone. Lin Zhuochi stared blankly at the chat page.
Can't you just let him finish what he has to say?
Third floor of Fenghu Garden.
Lu Runxu rushed back to his study and saw a photo album prominently displayed on the desk, while the items that were originally placed in the cabinet were gone.
It seems she already knows, but I don't know what Ji Youli said to her.
He calmed down and called Xing Bei, but she didn't answer for a long time. When he called again, her phone was switched off.
Lu Runxu was truly panicked at this moment.
They had just finished their engagement banquet, and he had just taken his first step into Xing Bei's family, but he never expected that this secret would be discovered so quickly.
Lu Runxu was both scared and relieved.
A light rain started falling outside the window sometime earlier. Lu Runxu stood by the window, holding a photo album in his hand.
He wondered if this affection was too heavy a burden, and whether she would blame him for deceiving her.
If she really wants a divorce, he should let her go.
When Lin Zhuochi rushed over, he saw Lu Runxu sitting on the sofa with a blank expression as soon as he entered the room. The whole room was dark, with only a faint light around him, and Lu Runxu was completely immersed in darkness.
As he approached, his first glance fell upon the agreement on the table, which bore the large characters "Divorce Agreement".
Lin Zhuochi was momentarily speechless. Even at this point, Lu Runxu still didn't want to face the situation.
"Lu Runxu".
He rarely called Lu Runxu by his name so seriously: "You've come this far, are you really so willing to give up?"
Seeing that he was unmoved, he directly used his ultimate move: "When Sister Beibei came to me, her eyes were already swollen from crying. She really likes you and feels sorry for you."
He shifted slightly to his side, and his vacant eyes finally showed a flicker of emotion.
Lin Zhuochi gently patted his shoulder: "Ah Xu, maybe she hasn't figured out how to face this yet. It doesn't mean she doesn't love you. You need to give her some time, give each other some time."
After waiting for so long, is he really willing to let go?
Lu Runxu thought that he was unwilling.
*
Vertical day.
Sunlight streamed onto the wine-red wooden stick, and Xing Bei was awakened by the intense sunlight, raising her fair wrist to shield her eyes.
The notebook on her lap suddenly slipped to the floor, and a mint green sheet of paper fell out.
Xing Bei then remembered that she had repeatedly looked through the contents of the book yesterday, and cried herself to sleep.
She thought those were all of Lu Runxu's secrets, but she didn't expect that there was a love letter hidden in the notebook.
The cluster of mint flowers at the end reminded her of the graduation letter they had read together, and she couldn't help but cry again.
Xing Bei lay on the edge of the white round bathtub, her graceful figure barely concealed by the rich pink foam, her eyelashes, damp with mist, blinking occasionally.
Her delicate eyebrows furrowed slightly, giving her a melancholy reminiscent of Lin Daiyu burying flowers.
She hadn't heard Lu Runxu call her all night; could it be that he hadn't come home?
When she came out of the bathroom, it was already past ten o'clock. She picked up her fully charged phone and saw countless messages popping up on the screen.
Who said Lu Runxu didn't call her? Her phone was practically bombarded with calls.
This is terrible, this is terrible.
He returned to Qingyang and turned off his phone. Given Lu Runxu's usual behavior, I wonder if his little brain is overthinking things again.
Xing Beisheng stared at her phone listlessly, and after some consideration, decided to go for a walk to clear her head.
She doesn't know how to face Lu Runxu right now, so it's better for her to be alone for a while.
Fengyue Xiaozhu (Wind and Moon Pavilion)
Nian Yubai yawned and leaned back in his chair, glancing casually at the person beside him.
"Young Miss, what brings you back to Qingyang today?"
Xing Bei picked up the pale blue porcelain cup, brought it to her lips, took a small sip, and slowly said, "I came out to clear my head."
Nian Yubai clearly didn't believe it: "It takes at least four hours to get here from Chanjing. What kind of relaxation is this far away?"
Xing Bei: "Is it any of your business?"
Nian Yubai smiled faintly, took out a Marlboro and handed it over: "Want one?"
Xing Bei looked over, smiled, and shook her head: "I've quit."
"Quit it?" Nian Yubai was taken aback, then withdrew his hand and teased, "Mingzhu, Zhou Xuzhe, that model student, told you to quit smoking, but you didn't. What's going on now?"
Yes, Zhou Xuzhe used to always nag her to smoke less, or she wouldn't live long.
She never cared, thinking that living a few more years wouldn't hurt, and that life was all about enjoying it.
So, when did she stop smoking?
She herself couldn't remember.
I also think that living a few more years seems pretty good.
Xing Bei looked up at the cloudless sky, and a flock of white doves flew past her.
“Nian Yubai, one day you will find out that someone has been waiting for you for ten years, and you will do this.”
Faced with this sudden, inexplicable question, Nian Yubai stared at her suspiciously: "You don't happen to have a crush on me, do you? I don't care."
Xing Bei rolled her eyes at him, and Nian Yubai immediately became honest: "I was just kidding."
"Do you love him?" he asked.
Do you love him?
Xing Bei wasn't sure what love should feel like either.
Only when she is with Lu Runxu can she perceive the meaning of life.
She loved the bouquet of flowers he brought home after get off work, the soup he cooked, and the half of his shoulder that got wet in the rain.
She thought.
If something can make someone feel alive and happy, then that must be love.
Perhaps not.
She loved Lu Runxu.
Nian Yubai saw hesitation in her eyes, and looked outside and laughed: "Mingzhu, you're hesitating."
“Mingzhu, regardless of whether that person has truly liked you for ten years, you just need to recognize your own heart. Don’t try to make up for the time you’ve missed by loving him, or you will lose love.”
Nian Yubai gently poked her forehead: "I think that's what everyone thinks too."
Nian Yubai understood her personality; when faced with difficult problems, she would choose to escape first, and only go back to face the problem after she had figured it out herself.
Sometimes she needs guidance, otherwise she'll get too worked up about herself.
Nian Yubai withdrew his gaze and said in a calm tone, "Mingzhu, go find him."
Xing Bei stared at her fingertips swirling around the rim of the glass, then suddenly laughed: "Nian Yubai, you must sit at the head table at the wedding."
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