"Psychologist William James said that perhaps the deepest human need is to feel appreciated. Some people, among their social needs, crave respect and recognition the most. When you love someone, you're bound to feel affirmation, recognition, and even admiration. There's a certain aspect of you that they admire, and they're never shy about showering you with praise. That's love."
"So, do you like me? Advisor, you never admire me. I'm the girl who's suffering in love. In a relationship, not only am I not recognized, but I'm constantly suppressed and reprimanded. This leads me to increasingly deny myself in the relationship, and even to doubt that I'm unworthy of someone else's love. If you encounter someone who suppresses their partner, shouldn't you leave him as soon as possible?"
"Ahem, you're actually a more emotional girl. Many guys don't know how to communicate, especially when it comes to expressing their feelings and opening up. If a guy tries things he's not good at, makes an effort to communicate with you when you encounter a conflict, and opens his heart to you when he's struggling, sharing his stubborn dreams and small inner worries, then that's a sign that he loves you and cares about you. That's why we often say that the person a drunken man calls is often the one he deeply loves."
"Advisor, why don't you drink? After you drink, call me and let me feel it, okay?"
"Actually, there are other ways to make you feel my love, such as being willing to sacrifice for you. This is a significant difference between liking someone and loving them. The degree of sacrifice doesn't necessarily rise to the level of life and freedom. Generally speaking, when a man is willing to try for you and do something he doesn't want to do or isn't good at, it's an expression of love."
"Give me an example? Counselor. Let me feel your love."
"For example, an autistic person is willing to show affection for you. A gaming geek starts researching travel guides to cooperate with you, or endures the headache and dine with your parents just for you. That's true love."
"But none of the counselors asked me to do it."
"Cao Hanhui, human energy is limited, and so is our ability to absorb information. Therefore, we only pay attention to information that we particularly care about. Imagine chatting with colleagues or your boss assigning you a task, and you'll understand. Therefore, if a man loves you, he will listen to your information better than usual. If you often find that your boyfriend is distracted when you communicate with him, then you need to seriously reconsider this relationship."
"But most of my daily communication is just complaining and venting negative energy."
"The fact that he listens in one ear and out the other is actually a plus. But, Cao Hanhui, are you really that kind of person? Then I won't bring you into my social circle, including friends, colleagues, and family. On the one hand, when a man loves you, he'll definitely regard having you as happiness and something worth showing off. Why would he keep it a secret from his social circle for so long? On the other hand, if he doesn't let you meet the people around him for a long time, a potential reason is that he's afraid of trouble when we break up."
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