Chapter 85 Hate or resentment, as long as she...
Looking down from Wei Zhang's perspective, he couldn't see the girl's expression, only her trembling, long eyelashes, each one distinct and wet.
One after another, glistening water droplets gathered at the tips of his eyelashes, then splattered onto Wei Zhang's tiger's mouth.
Broken, yet warm and real.
Wei Zhang felt a strange sense of satisfaction.
At least her sorrow and anger are now in his hands, and he can truly feel them.
Instead of, as was the case for the past ten days, when I would wake up in the middle of the night and find my bedside ice-cold.
Hate or resentment, as long as she's still in his grasp, that's enough.
Of course, what he wanted was for her to stay in his hands forever, not to wither away like a fading flower.
His slightly stiff hand tucked the messy strands of hair at her temples behind her ear.
Even if you bite off my hand, once a person is dead, they are dead and cannot be brought back to life.
His voice was as gentle as possible, as if he were awkwardly trying to comfort someone.
Upon hearing this, Xue Lanyi's eyes, which were brimming with spring water, widened even more as she stared incredulously at the cold, stern face before her.
"Do you have any humanity left?"
“I’m stating the facts,” Wei Zhang said. “You know you’re sick, yet you keep thinking about things you shouldn’t be thinking about, which only hurts you. What good does that do?”
"..."
Xue Lanyi was speechless.
Wei Zhang simply doesn't understand that some people and things cannot be measured by gains and losses.
"I can't explain it to you." Xue Lanyi didn't want to argue with him, so she pushed him away and tried to jump out of the car window.
Even in death, she only wanted to die alongside a living, breathing person, not with a block of ice.
Her warmth suddenly vanished from his embrace.
He suddenly pulled her back into his arms.
This time, the force was much greater, as if he wanted to press her into his chest.
Her heartbeat was close to his, and the faint scent of sandalwood emanating from her body filled the air. The momentary panic she had felt earlier had vanished.
He had to admit that his heart skipped a beat the moment she suddenly broke free from his embrace.
He could no longer accept that she had slipped through his fingers.
Especially now, after so many days apart, holding her in his arms again, he didn't want to let go of that feeling of fullness.
Xue Lanyi felt suffocated, and pressed her arms against her chest, trying to keep herself away from him.
Her hand landed on the wound on his chest and touched something sticky.
He wouldn't let go, gripping her arm tighter and tighter, squeezing the space between them smaller and smaller.
The closer you get, the more painful the wound becomes.
Strands of blood soaked through her black robes, seeping from between Xue Lanyi's fingers and meandering down the back of her fair hand.
Xue Lanyi then realized that he was bleeding.
Moreover, he seemed to be badly injured, bleeding profusely.
Was it caused by the wound that Xue Lanyi pierced with the hairpin just now?
Xue Lanyi didn't think she had the strength to hurt him so deeply.
Suddenly, she remembered that when she inserted the hairpin into his chest just now, it had been very smooth.
Clearly, he had an old wound on his chest that had been pierced by Xue Lanyi, causing it to relapse.
He had a chronic illness, and while protecting her, he was stabbed by an arrow and then by her hairpin, leaving him besieged on all sides.
He appeared as composed as ever, but at such close range, Xue Lanyi could hear his intermittent breathing; he must be in a lot of pain.
if……
Xue Lanyi stared thoughtfully at the large wet patch on his collar, her hand pressing against his chest pausing slightly.
"If you dare to hurt me again..."
Wei Zhang realized her ulterior motives almost instantly.
Almost instantly, he realized that Xue Lanyi's pause was not out of concern; she simply wanted to take advantage of his excessive blood loss to make his injuries even more severe.
She had no feelings for him whatsoever.
Even Wei Zhang himself was well aware of this.
He lowered his eyes dejectedly and looked at her hand.
"If... if something happens to me, all the guards and shadow guards of the Duke's mansion will send you to be buried with me, to sleep in the same coffin."
Xue Lanyi was so frightened that she pulled her hand back.
Wei Zhang pressed her hand back to his chest, watching as his blood crawled across her fair hand like tiny snakes.
White jade paired with vermilion patterns—what a perfect match.
He wasn't angry; instead, his calm eyes held a slightly morbid smile.
"Similarly, if you, Xue Lanyi, dare to do anything untoward, I will, in the name of the Duchess, bury you in the ancestral tomb, bind your body with cinnabar rope, and seduce your soul with yellow talisman, so that we may be happily married for all eternity."
A cool, refreshing scent wafted onto Xue Lanyi's wrist.
Xue Lanyi felt a chill run down her spine, and in an instant, a bizarre image flashed into her mind: a woman in a wedding dress lying in a coffin, trembling with fear from a yellow talisman, her body bound with red ropes.
This is a folk art, said to suppress the soul and bind a person's fate together for lifetimes.
Wei Zhang may not believe in this evil magic, but he may very well do it.
Even if she dies, he will still find a way to defile her.
Xue Lanyi stared intently into his eyes from a fist's distance away. She saw an abyss, an abyss from which there was no escape once touched.
She couldn't kill him, and she couldn't die herself.
He won't let her live a good life, nor will he let her die in peace.
He wanted to keep her alive so he could torture and humiliate her for the rest of his life!
"Wei Zhang, how long are you going to torture me?"
Xue Lanyi had had enough.
She couldn't stand his ambiguous, neither-here-nor-there demeanor.
She didn't want to go back to those days when she had to guess his thoughts every day, living in constant fear and tension.
She was devastated and had nowhere to vent her frustration, so she rammed her head into his chest.
The wound, which had not yet scabbed over, was reopened an inch.
But then, a sudden pain struck, making the stagnant pool feel as if blood was flowing.
Amazingly, it filled his entire chest cavity.
He took a deep breath.
From the shadows of the carriage, Liangliang uttered two words: "Forever."
Those two short words echoed in the cramped space, freezing the air in place.
Xue Lanyi suddenly realized that all her struggles were a joke and useless to him.
He was like a mountain that she could never move.
The two remained locked in a stalemate for a long time.
Outside the carriage, there was a cautious knocking sound on the window.
Qingyang clasped his hands and waited by the window.
"Sir, the military doctor has completed the examination. Lord Lu and Lord Xie... are both dead."
"The girl named Yue Niang was so frightened that the military doctor said she was showing signs of miscarriage."
abortion……
Xue Lanyi only then learned that Yue Niang was pregnant.
In order to help her prepare for the wedding all night, Yue Niang concealed her pregnancy.
Ah Xuan kept her poisoning a secret from her so they could get married.
Xie Qingyun and Lu Lin concealed her plan to die in order to attend the wedding.
It turns out that in this meticulously planned wedding, only she was genuinely looking forward to it; everyone else had their own agendas.
They meant well for her, but she acted like an outsider.
She also unintentionally offended Wei Zhang, which harmed them all.
Xue Lanyi felt a mix of emotions, and tears streamed down her face again.
Outside the carriage, Qingyang could imagine Xue Lanyi's reaction upon hearing this, but this place was at the border of three countries, and it would be of no use for the army to stay any longer. There were some things he had to report quickly so that his master could make a decision as soon as possible.
Qingyang had no choice but to bite the bullet and say, "Also, the eldest young master's poison has attacked his heart. Although his life is not in danger, however..."
"alright."
Wei Zhang interrupted him in a deep voice.
Throughout this process, Wei Zhang kept his gaze fixed on Xue Lanyi's tear-streaked face. After a moment of contemplation, he said, "Bring them all back to the capital."
Having said that, the carriage started moving.
The sounds of clashing swords and galloping horses echoed outside the window.
Xue Lanyi is going back to that cage again.
Her nerves, which had been taut all day, suddenly snapped, her eyes rolled upwards, and she abruptly fell backwards.
In her last sight, Wei Zhang reached out and supported the back of her head.
The carriage swayed and rattled all the way back to the capital.
On the way here, the air was filled with birdsong and the fragrance of flowers; even the breeze that brushed past my temples felt refreshing.
We turned back along the road, only to find it was already late autumn.
The same road, the further you walk, the colder the autumn air becomes.
Xue Lanyi remained unconscious the entire way. Perhaps she woke up briefly, but she was too lazy to open her eyes, so she kept them closed the whole way.
By the sixth day, the surrounding air grew increasingly stuffy, pressing against her chest, and Xue Lanyi knew she had returned to the Duke's Mansion.
She was placed in the room filled with Wei Zhang's aura.
As soon as you open your eyes, all you see are his clothes, his antiques, and his favorite black.
Xue Lanyi loathed all these things, so she simply kept her eyes closed and spent her days lying on the couch asleep.
One moment I dream of the spirited, smiling faces of the young people, and the next I dream of their hunched figures lying in pools of blood.
She was quiet, showing no sign of joy or sorrow, as if she were nothing.
In Chong'an Hall, there was no change because of her presence or absence.
As always, the courtyard is packed with guests every day.
Wei Zhang is very busy, much busier than before.
I overheard the maids outside the window talking amongst themselves, saying that the current emperor was seriously ill and on his deathbed, and many important court affairs were falling on Wei Zhang's shoulders.
The selection of a successor has also been put on the agenda.
Xue Lanyi was too lazy to listen and didn't want to care, so she pulled the blanket over her head.
Fortunately, Wei Zhang was preoccupied with various political affairs and had no time to deal with her.
During the day, you can hardly see anyone else.
Every night around midnight, there would be a very faint noise on the outside of the bed, and the mattress would sink slightly.
Xue Lanyi knew that he slept beside her every night.
She ignored him and pretended to be asleep with her back to him.
I occasionally wake up in the middle of the night, in the quiet and silent night.
He would hug her from behind, bury his face in her neck, and call her "Yiyi" wearily.
She couldn't be bothered with him.
Until this day, at the second watch of the night.
The man returned earlier than usual, carrying a fresh scent of his bath.
Behind the four-sided curtains, the man's deep eyes gazed at her from above for a long time.
About the time it takes for an incense stick to burn.
Xue Lanyi suddenly felt a chill on her shoulder, and the skin on her neck was gradually exposed to the air.
The black jade thumb ring lingered on her shoulder.
Xue Lanyi suddenly opened her eyes and saw him unbuttoning her collar.
She quickly straightened her clothes, crossed her arms over her chest, and stared at him warily.
This was the first time she had looked at him properly in the three days since returning to the Duke's mansion.
Behind him, a man with long, loose hair and a loosely draped pajamas revealed his formidable chest muscles beneath the thin fabric.
Familiar scenes assaulted Xue Lanyi's vision.
She instinctively wrapped herself tightly in the quilt, backing away until her back pressed against the wall inside the bed.
Not satisfied yet, he kept trying to climb into the wall while shaking his head, muttering, "I don't want to! I don't want to do it! I don't want to do it..."
Before Wei Zhang could say anything, Xue Lanyi's gaze began to wander again, and she kept muttering to herself.
Wei Zhang frowned slightly.
He has been busy with affairs for the past three days and has often been away from the mansion, but he knows that she has not only not eaten rice or food for the past three days, but has also not gotten out of bed or taken a bath.
He lay there like a dead body, clinging to life only by being forced to drink a bowl of nourishing soup, and wouldn't allow anyone to approach him.
He finished court early today and just wanted to give her a bath.
Looking at the emaciated body huddled in the shadows of the tent, almost swallowed by the night, Wei Zhang felt a sense of helplessness and tried his best to suppress his emotions.
“I won’t do anything, I’ll just give you a bath.” He reached out to her.
Xue Lanyi, as if seeing a ghost, buried her head in the brocade quilt, trembling, "I won't bathe! I won't bathe! I won't bathe..."
Nine days had passed since she returned to the capital from the Western Frontier. She already smelled of something, her dark hair, sticking out from under the brocade quilt, was tangled, and there were even... lice crawling on her.
From a young age, she has always been a girl who loves pretty things the most.
Even though she looked pale and thin at home last month, she remembered to cover it up with rouge.
now……
She seems to have already gone with Xie Qingyun and the others, and doesn't consider herself a living person at all.
Wei Zhang felt a tightness in his chest, but he couldn't just watch her torment him to the point of being neither human nor ghost.
There was no other way but to forcibly carry her out of bed and head to the bedroom.
"I don't want to bathe! I don't want to! Wei Zhang, get out! Get out!" She struggled desperately in his arms, pounding his wounds with her hands and feet.
Wei Zhang touched her acupoint and placed her on the bamboo couch.
The room suddenly fell silent.
Xue Lanyi was unable to move; she couldn't even control her own hands and feet.
She could only sit there helplessly, her face expressionless, her eyes dull and lifeless.
Wei Zhang glanced at the girl sitting there blankly, feeling utterly powerless, and let out a barely audible sigh.
He went around behind her and took off her hair.
On the day of her wedding to Wei Xuan, she specially styled her hair into an elaborate peony bun. After ten days, her hair was loose and had long been tied into countless knots of all sizes.
Given Wei Zhang's way of doing things, these tangled and trivial details should be cut off with a single snip for the most efficient and quickest solution.
But she's a girl who loves to look pretty, and if her hair is cut unevenly, she'll probably cry again.
Wei Zhang looked down at the still swollen eyes of the person in front of him, gave up the idea, moved his footstool and sat behind her to help her untangle her hair.
He had never done this kind of thing for anyone before, so his technique was very clumsy. Being a martial artist, his touch was particularly heavy.
The slightest movement from him would cause her to inhale instinctively, so he could only slow down, and slow down even more.
Washing her hair was also a hassle; if he rubbed it too hard, it would hurt her.
It was too light, and the grime that had accumulated on her head for so long couldn't be washed off.
Even the ring on his finger would make her frown if it touched her.
Wei Zhang had no choice but to take off the thumb ring and slowly wash her hair while observing her expression.
What should have been a simple task took nearly half an hour.
Half an hour is actually enough for him to process a stack of official documents.
Wei Zhang didn't have much patience for such trivial matters, frowning throughout, and finally letting go of the clean black hair from his hands.
Her long, black hair cascaded down like a waterfall, regaining its silky texture and carrying a faint fragrance. It spread over Xue Lanyi's shoulders, making her face look delicate and fair, like a porcelain doll.
The irritation in Wei Zhang's heart had just subsided, and seeing her restored to normal, he felt a strange sense of satisfaction.
Today, he seems to be experiencing the same sense of satisfaction that Wei Xuan felt ten years ago when he wiped the ink off her face while she was asleep.
Wei Zhang smiled slightly, then fetched another basin of water, squatted down beside her, and wiped her face and hands.
Although he disliked the matter, he was naturally meticulous, so when he washed her hands, he wiped every finger and nail crevices clean by candlelight.
He has a calm and mature demeanor when he does things, and he doesn't have many sharp edges.
Xue Lanyi's tense back unconsciously relaxed.
Wei Zhang sensed that she had become much more obedient, so he went to unbutton her collar.
"I don't want to!"
The moment her hand touched the wedding dress, Xue Lanyi immediately became alert, staring intently at him and shaking her head repeatedly, "I don't want to take off my clothes! I don't want to take off my clothes!"
"I'll just take off your outer clothes; you can wash them yourself in a bit," Wei Zhang said, unusually yielding.
Xue Lanyi shook her head, trembling all over.
When it moved slightly, a foul, fishy odor wafted out.
That day in Peach Blossom Valley, she was covered in the blood of too many people. Although she had wiped herself clean in the past nine days, her inner body had not been cleaned yet.
Even an autumn afternoon nap is still stuffy and hot; if this continues, we'll get worms and maggots.
Wei Zhang could no longer indulge her, and forcefully began to unbutton her collar.
Just as her clothes slipped off her shoulders, she suddenly yelled at him sharply, "I don't want to!!!"
Her joints were immobile, and she couldn't struggle. She fell down with a thud, crashing straight onto the bluestone pavement.
Wei Zhang immediately reached out and pulled her.
Tear—
The back of the outer garment's neckline was torn.
At the same time, her head hit the ground, making her dizzy and her eyes unfocused.
Instead of thinking about how to get up, she remained prone with her face pressed to the ground, staring intently at the torn opening in her wedding dress.
"Let go of my clothes! Let go of my clothes!"
She, who had been silent for several days, suddenly lost her temper.
Wei Zhang glanced at the one-finger-long tear in the dress, then looked at Xue Lanyi's nervous eyes.
He realized that she didn't not want to bathe, but rather, "wasn't willing to take off this wedding dress?"
"Give me back my clothes! Give me back my clothes..."
Xue Lanyi did not answer him directly. Her stiff body kept wriggling towards Wei Zhang, trying to wrap the clothes back around herself.
This is the wedding dress she made for Ah Xuan.
When she was young, Wei Xuan first gifted her a mountain full of lilies, and she began embroidering her wedding dress.
That was the first time Wei Xuan confessed his feelings to her.
At that time, she was determined to marry him.
Over the years, whether she was exiled, sold, or became Wei Zhang's concubine, she never abandoned this wedding dress.
For nearly six years, two thousand days and nights, every stitch and every thread has been filled with her affection.
Moreover, the fabric of this wedding dress was left to her by her deceased mother.
Before my mother died, she said: This double-phoenix brocade is the only one of its kind in the world, and it is only for one person to wear.
From childhood, Xue Lanyi had always dreamed of wearing the wedding dress she had embroidered herself to her beloved husband during the grand wedding procession.
This was a surprise she prepared for Ah Xuan on their wedding day.
Ah Xuan hasn't had a good look at her in her wedding dress yet.
She hasn't told Ah Xuan yet that she was actually willing to marry him the first time he confessed his feelings.
She couldn't take off her wedding dress; she still had to show it to Ah Xuan.
"Please, give it back to me..." She looked up at Wei Zhang with cold eyes.
For more than ten days, she has pretended to be asleep every day, remaining silent.
But for the sake of a wedding dress, she humbled herself and spoke to Wei Zhang.
Wei Zhang's hidden anger was brewing.
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