Chapter 606 You can’t live without others, right?
The unexpected abandonment triggered waves of dizzying tinnitus. It felt like a knife was cutting my throat, and the hot air I exhaled was stained with blood. It was hard to tell which of the grief, resentment, grievance, confusion and pain hit my nose first. A sour feeling spread from the root of my nose, and I almost brought out a tear.
Qin Jixiu gently closed his eyes and forced back the tears.
Wasn't it just a dumping? When two people break up, one of them is always the one being dumped, so why couldn't it be him? Forget about their online relationship; even in real-life relationships, there are plenty of scumbags who just send a message and end things. So what if Ye Ting accepted a lot of things from him? He gave them willingly, and using them in exchange for a male university student to accompany him for two and a half years wasn't a big loss...
Qin Jixiu clenched his cell phone.
Is Ye Ting "accompanying" him, or does she like him?
Ye Ting must like him.
At least I liked it.
Otherwise, why would I spend so much energy every day chatting with him, playing games with him, and trying every way to make him happy?
The two of them had gotten into this mess, partly because he'd been so rude and suggested meeting in person, and partly because Ye Ting was young and timid, not willing to take the risk of coming out to his family. It couldn't be anything else...
Definitely not.
"We're separated. It won't affect the gang. Listen to the deputy leader first. I'll be back soon." Qin Jixiu used this sentence to evade the few people who came to show their concern.
After washing and dressing as planned, he walked to the dining room, mechanically sat down, and began to eat the nutritious breakfast prepared by his aunt. The breakfast was as rich as ever, and even included medicinal food. Unfortunately, Qin Jixiu was preoccupied, and his tongue went on strike, so he couldn't fully savor this delicious food.
When the aunt came to collect the dishes, she keenly sensed that he was in a bad mood, so she advised: "Jixiu, don't work so hard. You look so ugly today, and there's no blood..."
Qin Jixiu twitched his lips when he heard this.
"It's okay. I stayed up late playing games last night."
Of course he knew what he looked like now. He had just seen himself in the mirror, haggard and miserable, and realized that it would only take Ye Ting to break his seemingly indestructible adult disguise.
What if it wasn't Ye Ting but someone else who broke his heart? Would he be as sad as he is now? Probably.
No... no, the others all had bland personalities, none of them had Ye Ting's strong presence, whose voice alone could color Qin Jixiu's world from a distance, so losing him felt like a piece of his heart had been hollowed out. Without Ye Ting, he wouldn't like anyone else.
Even if you meet someone who looks very much like Ye Ting later, you won’t like him?
What did he like? Ye Ting was unique, and he didn't even give him a chance to question her. Ye Ting must have been very reluctant, afraid that a call would sway his decision, so he had to cruelly block him. If this wasn't possible, wouldn't it be more interesting to listen to his humble begging and watch him make a fool of himself?
But when someone wants to leave you, how can he or she want to give himself or herself another chance to be entangled with you?
It was as if two people were fighting in his mind. One was a romantic who was obsessed with the idea that "Ye Ting is irreplaceable", while the other was rational like a spectator, trying to stir up all possibilities and pouring cold water on his love-filled mind.
Qin Jixiu couldn't help but press his brows together. For a while, he didn't want to talk about love with anyone. Whether it was good or bad, it was too exhausting.
The pain of a broken heart could only be soothed by the constant rush of work. Whenever he had a moment's leisure, he would think of Ye Ting, who no longer belonged to him. Qin Jixiu spent the entire day shuttling between the various factories, pointing out problems more pointedly and directly than usual. Several managers followed him around the entire time, and in the temperature below 20 degrees Celsius, they were so anxious and angry that their foreheads were covered in sweat.
When he finished his factory inspection, Qin Jixiu saw that everyone was relieved, except himself.
Qin Jixiu didn't drive himself today; he had Old Wu pick him up. He climbed into the car, rolled up the windows, and shut out all the outside noise. The moment he realized this, his heart pounded, and he felt as if he were about to turn into a pool of blood, unable to close his eyes.
He suddenly didn't want to go back to that empty house, because Ye Ting's voice would never come from his headphones again, accompanying him all night.
Qin Jixiu said weakly, "Old Wu, don't go home yet. Send me to the wild."
Seeing that he was clearly distracted, Old Wu couldn't help but ask worriedly, "Skipping dinner and going out to drink, can your body handle it?"
"It's okay, Zeng Hui has a restaurant."
Actually, it wasn't a restaurant at all. It was mostly just a pile of desserts and snacks. How could they serve these for dinner? But it looked like Qin Jixiu had made up his mind to go. Old Wu turned around as he had said, and sighed inwardly.
"Ye" was a bar Qin Jixiu had frequented. The bar was owned by the Nancheng Song family, a close partnership between the two families. Song Zenghui himself had business dealings with Qin Jixiu, and the two had a close personal relationship. Song Zenghui had said that whenever he visited, there would always be a private room reserved for him.
This time, Qin Jixiu didn't want to go to a secret, quiet private room to drink alone. He preferred to be among the crowd, surrounded by strangers, so he wouldn't have to worry about being laughed at. Song Zenghui had friends over at his South City venue today, so he couldn't leave. He kept apologizing over the phone, but when he heard Qin Jixiu was coming, he arranged for someone to wait at the door.
As soon as Qin Jixiu entered the door, he was led to the softest sofa in the center. He ordered a cup of his usual Tequila without ice.
A band was performing on stage. The lead singer was a tall, thin man with long, curly hair tied back in a loose ponytail, looking very casual. The drummer and bassist were both wearing black masks, revealing only their eyes. They were just about to change the song after finishing one.
Suddenly, someone shouted two words from the audience. Qin Jixiu didn't hear clearly. The wine was served and he leaned back on the sofa and took a sip. The liquor was strong, and today's wine was more bitter than usual, with a more astringent taste.
Gentle music played, and the singer's pronunciation was clear. When she sang "Happiness is so hard to come by, why are you afraid to give up?", Qin Jixiu's heart ached uncontrollably. The following lyrics were even more touching: "I thought we could be different from others. I thought it was impossible, but it won't be impossible."
Qin Jixiu suddenly felt a little uneasy as he felt a bit of rejection. He came here to vent his frustration, not to seek trouble.
The next song, the same voice eagerly selected, had just finished calling out the title when someone nearby exclaimed, "Are you heartbroken? You're playing this kind of song all night?"
"What do you care?"
Qin Jixiu looked back in the direction of the forced voice and saw a thin man half-sitting and half-lying on a small sofa. He was wearing a black sports suit, a black hat and a black mask. He looked like a murderer ready to commit a crime, but he didn't look tall and had no strength.
The singer on the stage sang: "Sleeping in the darkness is your outline, but I can't touch your soul. This small double bed has made me lost. Every day is like a train running back to back, only meeting in the dead of night. I am happy, but then, what will I use to confirm my love? Do you also remember how long it has been since you said you love me..."
Qin Jixiu had sharp ears and eyes, and every word he heard entered his heart clearly. The expression on his face became extremely dull for a moment, and he took a big gulp of wine.
The man ordered the third song.
“…Heartache is more real than happiness. Why is love so ironic…”
The fourth song.
"...You said you wanted to escape, but you were destined to settle down. Love is gone, and all that's left is a hollow heart. Do you want to..."
The fifth one.
"...love is over, although I sighed once—"
These songs were all like knives and swords deliberately aimed at him. Qin Jixiu took a deep breath, and the alcohol started to rise. He raised his hand to call the person who had just led him in.
The waiter lowered his head to listen to his orders. Qin Jixiu whispered drunkenly into his ear, "Can you please stop asking that murderer in black to order songs?! He hasn't been seen for a whole night, and if he doesn't stop for a while, isn't that just heartbreak? You can't live without someone else, right? Either he leaves, or I leave. Go tell him now."
"Mr. Qin, please understand. I heard his girlfriend just ran off with someone else. It seems he's already met her parents and they're about to get engaged!" The waiter smiled apologetically. He was the young master of the Lincheng Shi family. Who would dare to offend him? Would he still have a job?
Qin Jixiu thought for half a minute, and realized that the man was indeed even worse off than him, so he waved his hand and let the waiter leave. In the time it took to sing these few songs, he had already drunk four glasses of wine. His stomach was churning, and he felt something was wrong, so he quickly strode to the bathroom in the corner.
His good manners allowed him to cover his mouth as he walked to the toilet. As soon as he bent over, he vomited with a "vomit". Because his body was unstable, his knees hit the ground with a "bang", and he couldn't help groaning because of the severe pain.
The wooden board of the cubicle was knocked tentatively, with just the right amount of force to avoid appearing impolite. Qin Jixiu, still bent over, immediately raised his hand to knock back. The stranger next door whispered, "Are you okay? Do you need any help?"
Qin Jixiu said in a hoarse voice: "It's okay, it's not necessary."
The other party did not insist. Qin Jixiu heard footsteps fading away.
Qin Jixiu hadn't eaten that night, so there was nothing to vomit. His stomach quickly emptied, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth, probably mixed with bile. He quickly stood up from his half-kneeling position.
Stumbling to the sink, he scooped up a handful of cold water and buried his face in it. The chill instantly sobered him up. After wiping his face clean and tidying himself up inside and out, he opened the door and walked out.
The scene outside was completely different from just now. No one cared to listen to the music now; everyone was craning their necks to watch the excitement. The person causing the excitement was still the young killer who had been playing sad songs all night. There was a person standing next to the young killer, and it seemed that the figure had been standing there for a while.
When Qin Jixiu passed by inadvertently, he heard the person on the sofa say: "...I won't leave, even if you drive me away, I just want to come to Jiangcheng to take a look, not to snatch the groom!"
The young man standing there probably felt embarrassed. He lowered his voice and said, "Don't be ridiculous. You can't even tell whether someone is straight or gay. You've been deceived for so long. Don't you have any brains?"
The young killer must have been drinking, as he shouted recklessly, "How would I know? He always bought me snacks, treated me to meals, and invited me to play ball and watch movies. Of course I thought he was gay too! Also, even though my parents always call me stupid, I'm not as dumb as you think!"
Qin Jixiu thought that it was really stupid not to be able to tell the sexual orientation of the person he liked.
But what does it have to do with him?
Ye Ting had said that he liked him. Although he didn't say it in person, it was still straightforward and bold... How did Ye Ting say it? Qin Jixiu thought about it and it seemed like -
[Love you.]
The author has something to say:
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It's another day for Shi Rui to be idle.
People who often break up know the names of those songs: "Worship", "Happiness, Then What", "Reality", "Good Intentions", "Lost Love"
Without these songs, people who have been heartbroken would have gotten over it long ago [chin on hand]
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