Chapter 20: Sadness and separation, a lifetime of wasted time, lamenting that the moon and the clouds rarely reach perfection
Because of the delays along the way, Luo Guoyun and his group prepared to depart on the sixth day of the Lunar New Year. The train station was crowded, so Yi Han specially arranged for the train to depart after dark.
The guards had already taken their luggage to the station. Luo Guyun dragged Xiao Xiangyue around the bedroom, helping him put on his clothes piece by piece, and finally wrapped him tightly in a large scarf.
Xiao Xiangyue protested: "Second brother specially arranged to set off at night because he thought that there would be fewer people after dark and no one would notice me, so there is no need to dress like this!" Luo Guyun said: "It's not that you are afraid that Yue'er will be recognized, but the winter in Nanjing is too cold. I am afraid that Yue'er can't bear it, so you have to wear more clothes!" Xiao Xiangyue said again: "But we are still in Shanghai now. Can't we dress in Nanjing?" Luo Guyun said: "...Brother just wanted to see in advance what Yue'er would look like if she was wrapped up like a meatball..."
Xiao Xiangyue was so angry that she punched him and yelled, "Brother Yun is bullying Yue'er again!" Her beautiful eyes glared at him with anger. Luo Guyun loved to see him like this. He hugged him and kissed him on the lips. Just as he was about to go deeper, he was afraid of really angering this darling, so he quickly let go, took his hand and walked out the door laughing.
Luo Guyun's special train was custom-made by Yi Han from Germany and has only been in operation for six months. It was used once last year, to transport Commander-in-Chief Zhang back to Shenyang. This was its second run, and Luo Guyun himself had yet to ride it. The train has only nine carriages, all doors and windows clad in bulletproof glass. While its exterior resembles that of an ordinary train, its interior is utterly luxurious. It boasts a dedicated Chinese and Western kitchen, a study, a bar, a reception room, and fitness and entertainment facilities, resembling a mobile castle. The floor is covered in thick, European-style pure wool carpets. The walls of the carriages are clad entirely in rosewood veneer, which, illuminated by the overhead lights, radiates a luxurious brilliance.
Xiao Xiangyue couldn't contain her excitement, and as soon as she got on the train, she quickly toured every carriage. She asked in some confusion, "Brother Yun, this train is a little different from the one I saw in the magazine?" Luo Guyun knew that in Yue'er's mind, everyone was equal, and there was no concept of privileged classes. He was thinking about how to explain it to him. Yi Han said from the side, "Third brother has the important task of defending the country, which is more important than the average person. Ordinary trains are not safe. This train has been specially modified. Bullets from outside cannot penetrate it, and there are hidden mechanisms inside. All of this is for the safety of third brother." Brother Yun's safety was of course the first priority in his heart, so he didn't ask any more questions.
Luo Guyun and Xiao Xiangyue's private space occupied three entire carriages. The bedroom had a dressing room, bathroom, and living room. The study was fully equipped, making it very convenient for handling official business.
A framed photo was nailed to the bedroom wall. It was taken in the mansion's living room. Xiao Xiangyue sat on a sofa, smiling, looking ahead. Luo Guyun stood behind the sofa backrest, his hand on his shoulder, his eyes gentle, but he was looking at him.
As soon as Xiao Xiangyue entered the bedroom, she was attracted by the photo. She stared at it infatuatedly for a long time, and exclaimed sincerely: "Brother Yun is so handsome!" Luo Guyun pulled his shoulder and said dissatisfiedly: "The real person is right in front of you, why are you staring at that photo?"
Xiao Xiangyue tilted her head mischievously and smiled lightly: "Brother Yun, are you jealous of even your own photo?" Under the light, her beautiful eyes were full of affection, like stars, shining with a different kind of brilliance.
Luo Guyun was seduced, his heart fluttering, his blood boiling instantly. He took a deep breath, put on a fierce and domineering look, and pressed on: "You're jealous! Only Yue'er can look at brother, not anything else! Not even photos!" Xiao Xiangyue stepped back, retreating to the bed. Luo Guyun took advantage of the situation and fell on the bed together. As soon as he cried out: "Brother Yun!", his mouth was blocked. The two of them were both passionate, rolling and lingering, tossing and turning for several rounds before falling asleep in each other's arms.
In the early hours of the morning, the train entered Suzhou. Xiao Xiangyue was still sound asleep. Luo Guyun stood up and told the guards standing guard at the carriage junction to pass a message to Yi Han: "Once we arrive at the station, we should stop and spend the night on the train, leaving at dawn."
White light pierced in from the window. Xiao Xiangyue opened her eyes lazily, then snapped back to reality, remembering she was on a train. She sat up with a jerk and asked nervously, "Why did the train stop? Has it arrived yet?"
Luo Guoyun had been accustomed to waking up at dawn every day to practice martial arts for many years. He had already gone to the gym to practice a set of punches and kicks. Seeing that he had woken up, he came over with a pile of clothes and said with a smile, "Yue'er, are you awake? Go wash up and change clothes. It's snowing today and it's cold outside. You'll have to use all your clothes from yesterday."
Xiao Xiangyue looked out through the glass, only to find that it was white outside. It was really snowing. It seemed as if she remembered that she had a wild night last night and didn't know how she fell asleep. She looked down at herself wearing soft and close-fitting pajamas. Her body was clean and fresh, and the sheets had been changed. She was touched... No matter when or where, as long as she was in Brother Yun's arms, she could fall asleep peacefully... Thinking in her heart, her eyes became a little dazed. Luo Guyun was putting clothes on him while muttering: "So early in the morning, what are you thinking about, Yue'er?... Suzhou noodles are very famous. It's cold today. I wanted to ask the chef of Tongxinglou to come to the dining car to cook for Yue'er. My second brother said it would be more interesting to go to that century-old restaurant and sit down to eat. I think about it, isn't it just to experience the local customs and practices in Suzhou? The ancients walked in the snow to look for plum blossoms. Today, let's walk in the snow and eat noodles..."
The carriage was warm as spring. As soon as he got off the train, despite wearing a woolen felt hat and a thick scarf, Xiao Xiangyue still felt the cold wind whistling straight at him, and he couldn't help but shrink his neck. Luo Guyun quickly pulled him into his arms, and they hugged each other as they walked off the platform.
The century-old Tongxinglou restaurant is most famous for its fried fish noodles. The fish skin is fried crispy, the taste is sweet and fresh, and the noodles are chewy.
"Is it delicious?" Luo Guyun picked up the noodles in the bowl and asked with a smile when he saw that he was eating with satisfaction.
"Yeah, it's delicious... but not as good as Brother Yun's eel noodles," Xiao Xiangyue replied seriously. Luo Guyun's heart skipped a beat... In Yue'er's eyes, everything about him was the best. Is this... beauty in the eyes of the beholder? He chuckled to himself at how inappropriate this metaphor was... thinking about it, a silly expression on his face.
Xiao Xiangyue glared at him, pouting, "I'm just enjoying my noodles. What's up, Brother Yun?" Luo Guyun replied, "Brother's thinking. After the Dragon Boat Festival, when we have fresh eels, we can make eel noodles for Yue'er every day... We're going to Songhe Tower for lunch today. Afterwards, we'll go to Liuyuan Garden. The most famous Pingtan artist today is Mr. Shang from the Yongnian Society, and we've invited him to perform for Yue'er today."
Xiao Xiangyue gave Songhelou's food a mediocre review, saying the fish wasn't as good as Shujiangchun's live silver carp, and the chicken wasn't as good as Shujiangchun's mouth-watering chicken. She didn't understand why her uncle-shi couldn't stop thinking about it. Luo Guoyun said, "So-called good food is also woven into the fabric of homesickness. Everyone generally finds their hometown's food delicious." Xiao Xiangyue agreed.
Yongnian Society is the most renowned Suzhou Pingtan troupe. Its owner, Shang Jianli, now in his seventies, has dedicated his life to the art of Pingtan, personally establishing the Yongnian Society and boasting countless followers. Over the decades, he has elevated the art to new heights. Shang, having long since stopped performing in person, was invited to perform this time by Luo Guoyun, who had asked the mayor of Suzhou to make a special request.
In anticipation of Commander-in-Chief Luo's arrival, the area surrounding Liuyuan Garden had been placed under martial law, closed for the day, and no outsiders were allowed inside. Luo Guoyun and his entourage settled in. Boss Shang, clutching a pipa, and a young apprentice, a small sanxian, collaborated. After a gentle, soft, and twangy prelude, Boss Shang began to sing. The piece he performed today was an excerpt from "Pearl Tower." Boss Shang's voice was clear and resonant, and despite his age, it still pierced the air. His full-throated voice was rich and powerful, interspersed with occasional softer notes, creating a mournful, gentle, and poignant tone.
The more Xiao Xiangyue listened, the more alarmed she became. Her master's uncle often sat alone in the courtyard, clutching his pipa, playing and singing. He'd heard him sing "Pearl Tower" before. Boss Shang's singing style, his voice, the tune... were almost identical to her master's. When the song stopped, Xiao Xiangyue stood up and asked, incredulous, "Excuse me, Boss Shang... do you know Li Tiannian?"
Shang Jianli stood up suddenly as if struck by lightning, and the pipa in his arms fell heavily to the ground. His voice trembled, "Li... Brother Li? Where is he? Is he still alive... Who are you to him?"
Li Tiannian and Shang Jianli had been students since childhood under Xiao Pingzhou's father, Xiao Chen, a court musician. Their age was similar, and their daily interactions fostered a love affair. By their seventeen or eighteenth years, they were inseparable. Shang Jianli, a single-line son in his family for three generations, was forced by social constraints to marry and have children, betraying Li Tiannian. Dejected, Li Tiannian devoted his life to music, never again contacting Shang Jianli. After marrying, Shang Jianli returned to Suzhou, but he and his wife remained distant, devoting himself to the art of Pingtan. Later, his wife passed, leaving behind a son. While running the Yongnian Society, Shang Jianli sought news of Li Tiannian. Decades passed, but nothing was heard from him. Hearing his old friend's name now was a shocking revelation.
Xiao Xiangyue hesitated and said, "Brother Li...? Li Tiannian is my uncle-in-law. Could it be that... Boss Shang is also my uncle-in-law?"
Shang Jianli looked at him carefully: "Sir, your surname is Xiao? Who is Xiao Chen to you?"
When Xiao Xiangyue was little, she heard her father say that her grandfather was called Xiao Chen, a court musician. She replied, "That's my grandfather. My father's name is Xiao Pingzhou."
Xiao Pingzhou was nearly twenty years younger than his two senior brothers. When Shang Jianli married and left, Xiao Pingzhou hadn't yet been born. Therefore, he didn't know that his master had given birth to another son, and that he had gained a junior brother.
Shang Jianli slumped down in a chair, muttering, "You are the master's grandson, my nephew... Senior Brother Li... where is he now?"
Luo Guyun watched the two of them chattering back and forth, like they were playing a game of charades, unable to grasp the point for a long time. He also noticed Shang Jianli's agitated expression, as if he had something to hide. He said, "Yue'er has also listened to the Pingtan performance, and seems to have a close relationship with Mr. Shang. That's really encouraging. It's too noisy here, why don't we move to a separate room and have some tea and catch up."
They sat down. Xiao Xiangyue listened to Shang Jianli recount his lifelong struggles with his uncle. Hesitantly, he said, "Uncle must be keeping an eye on Uncle Shang, because... every song you sing, Uncle knows how to sing it, and almost exactly the same!"
Shang Jianli's teacup clattered to the ground, shattering to pieces. He disregarded his appearance and burst into tears, "Brother... he's resented me his entire life! I've been searching for him so hard, but he's been avoiding me... I thought he was long gone... I was going to go look for him in the afterlife..."
Xiao Xiangyue was so anxious she was at a loss, not knowing how to comfort Shang Jianli. She whispered, "Master... actually, he's been thinking about Master Shang all his life. Almost every day, he sits alone in the yard singing Pingtan. In his heart... he must be thinking about Master Shang..."
Luo Guyun saw Xiao Xiangyue's sad expression and felt sorry for the wasted lives of his two senior uncles. He said, "It's getting late... Second Brother and Big Brother Sun are still waiting in the car. Why don't we say goodbye first?" He added, "Now that Senior Uncle Shang knows your whereabouts, it's a happy thing. If you want to go and see him, I will arrange a car to escort you to Lizhuang." Shang Jianli stopped crying and choked up, "I would like to see him, but I don't know if he is willing to see me..." Xiao Xiangyue said, "I will write to Senior Uncle and tell him about my encounter with Senior Uncle Shang today. If he is willing to see you, he will come to pick you up..."
In the snow, Shang Jianli and his disciples escorted Luo Guyun and his companions a long way off. Xiao Xiangyue kept trying to comfort them, "The snow is slippery and the weather is cold. Uncle Shang is old, so please go back quickly." Shang Jianli hesitated for a moment, then tremblingly unbuttoned his clothes and took out a jade pendant, still warm from his body. He handed it to Xiao Xiangyue and said, "This jade pendant was given to me by my senior brother when I was eighteen. On it are the words 'Li' and 'Nian' carved by him personally. I have never left it for a moment in these decades. Please, nephew, give it to my senior brother. When he sees it, perhaps he will still remember our past friendship and agree to meet me..." Xiao Xiangyue took it with care and bowed deeply in farewell.
Everyone returned to the train. Xiao Xiangyue was still a little dazed, holding her chin, staring blankly out the window. Luo Guoyun said, "What are you looking at, Yue'er? Let your brother see it too." He came over and put his arms around his waist from behind, resting his chin on his shoulder. Xiao Xiangyue rested her head softly on his cheek, and the two of them just stared out the window quietly.
On the platform, two or three tracks away, a train was parked, boarding passengers. People, young and old, carrying backpacks and suitcases, were hurrying along. The carriage was already packed like a can of sardines, yet dozens more people huddled at the door, desperately trying to squeeze in. The train slowly started to move. Those who hadn't made it on cursed, turned away in disappointment, and stumbled away, dragging their heavy luggage, hoping for the next train. A woman with disheveled hair, holding a young child, leaned half out of the window, crying at the top of her lungs. From the child's mouth shape, it seemed he was calling for his father. On the platform, a man in a coarse cotton jacket desperately chased the train, climbing up to the door and trying to climb in. Several uniformed men approached, pulled him down, and kicked him to the ground. The man, not caring about the blood trickling from his mouth, scrambled to his feet and ran desperately after the train again. The child on the train cried loudly, and the woman, panicking, stretched out her hands, trying desperately to catch the running man. The train was speeding up, and the man could no longer catch up. He stumbled and fell dejectedly on the snow. The bright red blood at the corner of his mouth was particularly glaring against the backdrop of the white snow.
The bulletproof glass of the special train was exceptionally soundproof, completely obscuring the outside noise. Standing by the window, the two of them felt as if they were watching a silent movie. The man must have pushed his wife and children onto the train the moment the doors closed, but he himself couldn't squeeze in. That's why he desperately ran after the train, even though he was beaten until his mouth bled.
Yue'er was already in a bad mood, and she took a casual look and unexpectedly saw this tragic scene. Luo Guyun secretly thought it was bad luck. Turning his shoulder to face him, he said with a smile: "I wanted to play in Suzhou for a while longer and take Yue'er to Hanshan Temple for a walk. The weather is too cold, and I'm afraid you will catch a cold. Let's leave now." He added: "Yue'er didn't eat much for lunch. It's already mid-afternoon. Would you like a cup of black tea and some snacks?" Xiao Xiangyue said nothing, just a meek "hmm". He was very surprised. Yue'er usually had no appetite and didn't want to eat when she was depressed. He didn't expect her to be so easy to talk to today. They happily held hands and walked towards the dining car.
Yi Han and several lieutenants were drinking and chatting in the bar. When they saw the two people coming, they hurriedly invited them to sit down. Everyone was talking loudly, but Xiao Xiangyue didn't say much. He just smiled lightly, drank a cup of black tea, and had a piece of dessert. Luo Guyun was talking with everyone, but his mind was on Xiao Xiangyue. He always felt that although he was smiling, his eyes were not very happy. Seeing that they had almost finished eating, he said to Yi Han: "You guys can do whatever you want. Yue'er is a little tired today. I will take him back to the room to rest first."
Xiao Xiangyue leaned against the headboard. Luo Guyun sat beside her, holding a cup of warm water for her to drink. He took two sips and looked at her face carefully: "Yue'er, are you worried about something? Can you tell me about it?" Xiao Xiangyue looked at him with clear eyes and frowned: "Yue'er is thinking... What would happen to Yue'er without Brother Yun? Brother Yun protects Yue'er well, like a barrier, isolating Yue'er from all the sorrows and sufferings in this world, but... Being as lucky as me is rare after all... People's lives in this world are mostly full of suffering and less happiness. Most of the time, they can't get what they want, can't give up what they want, can't break free, and can't escape. They struggle in the mire all day long, suffering alive..."
Luo Guyun was secretly alarmed. Yue'er was a sensitive and compassionate person, so he must be feeling a bit gloomy about what happened today. He needed to find a way to comfort him.
The train lurched, and Luo Guyun, rising to put down his water cup, lost his balance and banged his lower back against the table. It wasn't painful at first, but he feigned a grimace, clutching his waist and screaming in pain to distract him. As expected, Xiao Xiangyue clapped her hands and laughed, pointing at him and saying, "Brother Yun, this day has come... Let you experience the pain of a lower back..."
Xiao Xiangyue wasn't as physically fit as Luo Guyun, and while Sun Mu's prescriptions were effective, Luo Guyun often couldn't stop, often going three or four rounds a night. If he was on top, he'd be out of breath after just a few moves, leaving them both feeling frustrated. Eventually, it was Brother Yun's turn to toss him around, inevitably leading to backache and weakness.
Luo Guyun deliberately grumbled, "Yue'er is so heartless! My brother got hurt, and you still clapped your hands and cheered..." Through the window, he caught a glimpse of the track ahead curving, about to enter a tunnel. With a sudden inspiration, a mischievous thought struck him, and he raised his hand to turn off the lights. He thought Yue'er was afraid of the dark, and once they entered the tunnel, in the gloom, she would definitely crawl into his arms. Then, he would embrace her tenderly and lovingly, and all his worries would fly away.
The train rumbled into the tunnel, instantly plunging into endless darkness. A single cry of surprise, "Brother Yun!" was heard, and then silence...
Luo Guoyun sensed something was wrong and quickly turned on the light. He saw Xiao Xiangyue huddled at the foot of the bed, his head in his hands, beads of sweat the size of soybeans streaming down his forehead. Terrified, he quickly picked him up and called out, "Yue'er, Yue'er!" His consciousness was already hazy, and his eyes were unfocused.
Luo Guyun rushed to the door and shouted to the guards standing on duty in the aisle: "Go and invite Adjutant Sun!"
Sun Mu and his new wife, Xiao Qin, lived in the next compartment. His roar was so loud that the guards didn't need to pass on the message; everyone heard it.
Seeing Luo Guyun, who almost never loses his composure, so panicked, Sun Mu wondered what had happened. He hurried over and saw Xiao Xiangyue lying in his arms, her eyes closed, her face abnormally flushed. Without asking any more questions, he took her hand and felt her pulse. As soon as he felt the pulse, he felt as if he had been burned and quickly retracted it. He said to Xiao Qin who came over, "Go and get the silver needle!" Luo Guyun was even more frightened and trembling, "Brother...Yue'er is..." Sun Mu said anxiously, "Yue'er's pulse is beating like a drum, so fast and fierce. If it goes on like this, he won't be able to hold on for much longer. We must stop it quickly!"
Sun Mu quickly inserted needles into her forehead, top of her head, soles of her feet, and behind her ears. After seven or eight needles, Xiao Xiangyue's heartbeat slowly slowed down, and the blush on her face faded. As soon as she opened her eyes, she clung to Luo Guyun tightly, as if clinging to a lifeline. Her body trembled like a sieve, but she used all her strength and refused to let go. Luo Guyun remained motionless, letting him hold her tightly, and kept comforting her, "Brother is here... Yue'er, don't be afraid..." After a long time, Xiao Xiangyue gradually calmed down, loosened her hand, and fell limp in his arms like a deflated ball.
Sun Mu, who had been observing quietly, asked, "Did Yue'er get upset or startled just now?" Luo Guyun mentioned turning off the lights before entering the tunnel. Sun Mu stamped his foot. "Why did you scare him? You know how afraid Yue'er is of the dark!" Luo Guyun asked in surprise, "Is Yue'er...is she having another attack?"
Sun Mu said, "That's not the case. This symptom is called a stress reaction in Western medicine. She experienced sudden blindness several times in her childhood, accompanied by severe headaches. This left Yue'er with severe psychological trauma. The sudden plunge into darkness just now caused an acute stress reaction."
Luo Guyun hesitated and asked, "Is it like... the time you fainted with blood?" Sun Mu replied, "It's somewhat similar, but not the same. Once you get past that period of fainting with blood, it will resolve on its own. A stress reaction is likely to trigger a latent condition, making it much more serious."
Xiao Xiangyue recovered a little, sat up, and whispered, "Just now... Yue'er suddenly couldn't see anything... Just like when she was a child..." Luo Guyun regretted it so much that he kept comforting her, "Yue'er is fine, she can see, she's fine... Don't be afraid..." He felt the coldness on his back. His underwear was soaked with cold sweat. Although the bathroom on the train didn't have a bathtub, it could also be used for showers. Sun Mu said, "Don't bathe Yue'er for now. Just wipe her with warm water. If she catches a cold, be careful of a fever."
Luo Guyun carried Xiao Xiangyue back to bed, changed into dry clothes, and lay down. Sun Mu winked at him, "I brought some calming pills. Come with me to get some, and I'll give them to Yue'er later."
The two of them left the room and stood in the hallway. Luo Guyun lit a cigarette and took a deep drag to calm his nerves. He had been really frightened just now.
Sun Mu pondered, "Before he died, Dad was still concerned about Yue'er's brain condition. He told me that if I ever find Yue'er, I must find the root cause. For the past six months, I've been researching similar cases in the West and studying relevant academic papers. I can basically conclude that Yue'er has a mass in her head that's pressing on her optic nerve, causing her sudden blindness and severe headaches. The root cause of this condition is congenital and inherited. With current medical knowledge, it's impossible to determine the location of the mass or when it will flare up. We can only minimize stimulation."
Luo Guyun's hand holding the cigarette trembled slightly as he said in a deep voice, "That means... Yue'er's illness is incurable and could flare up at any time... endangering her life?"
Sun Mu said, "That's the theory, but I'm not that pessimistic. Yue'er hasn't had any symptoms of sudden blindness since he was ten. I suspect that as his body develops, his blood vessels and meridians become thicker, and the lump no longer threatens him. Who knows... Today, I observed him carefully, and despite the sudden and strong stimulation, he didn't get sick, and he recovered quickly. This is a good thing. At least it proves that my suspicions are somewhat reasonable. Yue'er is no longer as fragile as he was when he was a child. Perhaps he won't get sick again. That's possible."
Luo Guyun snuffed out his cigarette, punched the carriage wall, and said angrily, "This... this is like a bomb buried in Yue'er's brain. When it will explode, whether it will explode... It's completely unpredictable... How can I not be worried?"
Sun Mu said, "I could have given him a few more injections to make him fall asleep. But when I saw how desperately he clung to you, I knew Yue'er was actually very strong and should be able to recover on his own. Sure enough, he calmed down after a while. Mental strength is very important for this disease, and you are the source of his strength, which is more effective than any medicine."
Xiao Qin, who had been taking care of Xiao Xiangyue in the bedroom, opened the door and saw the two standing in the hallway. He shouted, "Brother Sun, come and take a look. Yue'er seems to have a fever."
Xiao Xiangyue walked in the snow for half a day and broke out in a sweat. The cold and depressed air were mixed together. She had only a slight fever before, but by the evening, she was burning hot.
Sun Mu said worriedly, "Yue'er's symptoms are severe. Traditional Chinese medicine is slow to take effect. Perhaps Western medicine injections will be more effective."
In the early morning, the train arrived at the station. Luo Guoyun carried Xiao Xiangyue off the train, wrapped tightly as he had done when they disembarked at Hanchang Wharf. Yi Shui had arrived in Nanjing a few days earlier and came to greet them with a group of officials. Seeing this, he smiled and said, "It's late. Yue'er must have fallen asleep." Sun Mu said, "Brother Yi, please contact Dr. Jefferson, the American expert at Gulou Hospital. Tell him that Sun Mu wants him to come to Luo Mansion... Yue'er may need an injection."
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