Chapter 30
Li Muxue sat on the beach and took out a small metal box from her handbag. Inside was a photograph. It was taken when she graduated from high school. In the photo, Xu Chen was smiling brightly, standing next to her, his head slightly tilted towards the camera, seemingly trying to get closer to her, which made her look a little shy. This was the only photo she had of him, and she had treasured it for a long time.
She gently stroked his face in the photo with her fingertips, tears silently streaming down her face, dripping onto the beach and instantly absorbed by the sand.
"Brother Chen, I miss you..." She finally couldn't hold back any longer and spoke these words to the sea in a voice only she could hear. The sea breeze howled, as if it were the sea's response to her, or perhaps the echo of her inner pain.
How are you now?
She imagined his life in prison—was it as cold and monotonous as the seawater? Did he ever regret it? Did he regret ruining his youth to protect her?
A wave of guilt washed over him again. If it weren't for her, he would probably be sitting in a university classroom, like his classmates, planning for a bright future. It was her, her weakness and cowardice, that dragged him into that abyss.
But besides guilt, the love hidden deep in her heart never disappeared. In countless lonely moments, what sustained her, besides hope for the future, was her longing for him. She hated her powerlessness, hated that she couldn't do anything for him, and could only stand here, facing the boundless sea, repeatedly grappling with this complex and unbearably painful emotion…
Days passed by in monotonous classes, self-study, and longing for Xu Chen. Li Muxue excelled in French, ranking among the top in the class in both written and oral tests, and her teachers adored this quiet and hardworking student. Yet, she remained lonely, like a seashell left in a corner, only daring to open her shell in the dead of night, revealing her soft yet wounded heart.
Her roommates gradually got used to her silence and would sometimes try to talk to her, but the distance between them always remained. Gao Yun got a boyfriend and was busy dating every day; Yue Bingrou joined the student council and was always bustling about; Qin Xin was enthusiastic about club activities and made many new friends. Only Li Muxue's world was very small, so small that it consisted only of books, French words, and that figure far away in the north, separated by high walls.
Time is the best healer. Although the wound is still there, it no longer causes daily excruciating pain.
Li Muxue gradually adapted to university life. She remained introverted, but was no longer as anxious as she had been at the beginning. She would take the initiative to practice her spoken French at the French corner, spend the whole day in the library, and go for walks on the beach alone on weekends.
Her relationship with her roommates had also become closer. Gao Yun would hand her a cup of hot water when she had a cold, Yue Bingrou would remind her when she missed a notification, and Qin Xin would take her to the cafeteria together. Although they weren't exactly inseparable, the cold sense of distance seemed to have faded somewhat.
She poured all her energy into her studies, and her French became increasingly fluent. She could even understand original French novels and communicate smoothly with her foreign teachers. She participated in a French speech contest and achieved a good ranking. Standing on the stage, telling her story in beautiful French, she saw the admiring looks from her teachers and classmates below. At that moment, she felt a long-lost sense of self-worth.
She still thinks of Xu Chen, on every windy night, every time she sees couples on the beach. That guilt and love, like an indelible mark ingrained in her blood, cannot be erased. But she will no longer let them completely dominate her life.
She began to understand that Xu Chen's wish for her to live a good life was not just empty words. He had traded his youth for her opportunity to see the world, and she couldn't let him down.
It was summer again, and the sea breeze still carried a salty, damp scent. Li Muxue stood on the beach, watching the sunset paint the sea a golden hue. A faint smile graced her face, her eyes reflecting a longing for the past, a yearning for the future, and a touch of melancholy.
Summer vacation was just around the corner, and it was also the day Xu Chen would be released from prison. Li Muxue happily bought a train ticket home. However, accidents always happen unexpectedly, shattering all her beautiful fantasies...
(To be continued)
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