Chapter 7
The old-fashioned clock in the finance department of Huaxing Machinery Factory swung its pendulum incessantly, making a clicking sound. Wang Lili always liked to carefully wipe the mahogany abacus with a dark brown velvet cloth. Sunlight slanted in through the glass window, and the beads on her fingertips made a crisp and melodious sound, as if she could turn the dense numbers on the ledger into hope for life.
In the early summer of 1988, my husband, Xu Zhenguo, had been promoted to workshop director for six months. Six months wasn't a long time, but it wasn't short either. A few things could have happened during that time, or a lot could have…
As the saying goes, "A widow's door is always full of gossip," and "There are no secrets that stay hidden forever." These two proverbs were proven true in Xu Zhenguo's case. Various rumors began to circulate in the workshop, all saying that Director Xu had risen to his position through Secretary Luo's recommendation, that their relationship must be unusual, especially since Secretary Luo was a widow... and so on.
The rumors reached Wang Lili's ears, often keeping her awake at night. Moonlight streamed through the window, illuminating the family photo taken two years ago on her bedside table. In the photo, Xu Zhenguo wore a crisp Zhongshan suit, a badge of an advanced worker pinned to his chest, while his son, Xu Chen, held a tin frog toy, his eyes crinkling with laughter. But Wang Lili herself had lost the youthful vitality of the photo, growing increasingly haggard. She lay there quietly, afraid to make a sound…
Once, while getting food at the factory canteen, she overheard the female workers behind her whispering about Director Xu, and the conversation was becoming increasingly detailed. Wang Lili's hands trembled slightly, and she could no longer hold her chopsticks steadily.
When Xu Chen got home that evening, he was hunched over his homework on the chipped wooden table. “Mom, Dad said he’d take me to the zoo. It’s been weeks and we still haven’t gone…”
Xu Chen pouted.
Wang Lili squatted down and gently smoothed her son's unruly hair: "Dad's been busy at the factory lately, I'll go when I have time." She couldn't bear to look at the disappointment in her son's eyes. As she turned to go into the kitchen, her tears finally fell into the rice water.
Late at night, Xu Zhenguo returned home looking slightly tired. He collapsed onto the bed without even washing his face and fell asleep. She could smell a faint scent of "Friendship Snow Cream" on her husband, a scent Wang Lili never used. She bit her lip, turned her face to the wall, and pretended to be fast asleep.
As the days went by, Wang Lili became increasingly silent. Her colleagues in the finance department noticed that she couldn't help coughing while doing accounting, and her face grew paler and paler. Sometimes, while she was working on the abacus, a sudden, violent cough would strike, and she would hurriedly cover her mouth with a handkerchief. Once she calmed down, she would continue working as if nothing had happened.
That day, the factory distributed ribbonfish and pastries. Wang Lili, wearing a thick mask, stood in front of the newly replaced gas stove to fry the ribbonfish. The fumes made her cough incessantly. Xu Chen ran over to help, but she pushed him away with a smile: "The fumes are too strong, don't let them bother you, go do your homework." The child stood at the kitchen doorway, watching his mother's slender figure appear and disappear in the smoke.
As early August approached, Wang Lili's health deteriorated rapidly. One morning, while she was checking accounts, her vision suddenly went black, and the pen in her hand fell to the ledger with a "clatter," the ink spreading like a tear. Her colleagues rushed her to the hospital…
After she was hospitalized, Xu Chen came to visit her every day after school. The child would spread his homework on the side of the bed and tell her about what happened at school while doing his homework. One night, Wang Lili woke up and saw her son asleep by the bed, still clutching the half-peeled apple he had given her. Moonlight streamed through the hospital window, illuminating the child's tender face. She reached out and gently stroked his hair, tears silently streaming down her face.
Xu Zhenguo would occasionally visit the hospital, carrying canned fruit from the state-run store, but he always seemed distracted. He was always looking for an excuse to leave, not wanting to stay even a minute longer. Wang Lili noticed this and knew what he was thinking, but she swallowed the words she wanted to say. She knew that once some words were spoken, they could never be taken back.
In the dead of winter in 1988, Wang Lili, succumbing to lung cancer, closed her eyes forever, leaving behind a lingering sorrow and a deep longing for her son, Xu Chen. On the day of her funeral, Xu Chen held his mother's portrait, tears streaming down his face onto the glass frame. Xu Zhenguo stood in the crowd, expressionless, his head bowed, unable to meet his wife's gaze...
When the work bell rang at Huaxing Machinery Factory, Xu Chen suddenly remembered something her mother used to say: "Once we've saved enough money, we'll buy a sewing machine, and Mom will make you new clothes..."
(To be continued)
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