Chapter 34 One Soul, Two Thoughts, Each with Its Own Obsession
Zhao Xian pestered the monk for directions to Master Lingkong's residence, then went there with her umbrella.
The rain was getting heavier and showed no sign of stopping. Granny He covered Zhao Xian's head with the umbrella, while the maid held the umbrella for her.
However, the rain was so heavy that the soles of their shoes and the hems of their skirts from the knees down were completely soaked.
When they reached the large rock at the entrance of the bamboo forest again, Granny He advised, "Madam, we've come all the way back again. This is the third time already. Let's go back."
She didn't understand why the lady suddenly wanted to see Master Lingkong, even in the rain.
Outside the meditation room where Master Lingkong lived was a bamboo grove. They circled the bamboo grove three times but still could not find the way into the meditation room.
Li Lianniang braved the rain and stepped forward: "Mother, we've been looking for you everywhere, what are you doing here?"
Cui Tingyue looked around: "What is Mother looking for? Do you need our help?"
After obtaining the amulet for peace, Zhao Xian disappeared without a trace. Even after returning to the meditation room arranged by the monks of Huguo Temple, she was still nowhere to be found, so he hurriedly went out to look for her.
Ignoring their voices, Zhao Xian continued searching for a way through the bamboo forest.
Taking the opportunity, Granny He advised, "The rain is getting heavier and heavier. Your clothes are mostly wet, and you're afraid of catching a chill. Why don't you go back to your meditation room to rest and come back when the rain stops?"
Zhao Xian stopped and glanced at the lush bamboo forest washed clean by the rain. After a moment, she nodded and said, "Let's go back."
He returned to the meditation room with the others.
The servants brought hot water, and she soaked herself in the bathtub.
"Get out, you don't need to be served."
Peony took the handkerchief in her hand, curtsied upon hearing this, and said, "Yes."
There was no one inside. Zhao Xian closed her eyes and submerged herself in the water, holding her breath for a while before surfacing.
She kept splashing water on her face with her hands, but even that couldn't hide her panic.
She felt very strange, as if she had been possessed. No, that's not quite right. It was as if she had taken over the original body; she was the intruder.
So, was the original owner using the statue of the Protectorate Temple to reclaim her body?
But she didn't feel any rejection, and she didn't mind returning the body, as long as she could go home.
But the reality is not so simple.
This made her very scared.
"Madam, it's time to get up, the water will get cold soon." Peony was waiting outside, but she didn't hear anyone calling her, so she knocked on the door and said, "May I come in?"
Zhao Xian exhaled a breath of stale air: "Come in."
--
Because they searched for her in the rain, Li Lianniang and Cui Tingyue caught a chill, and Doctor Liu prepared medicine for them.
They did not eat dinner with Zhao Xian.
Zhao Xian felt a little guilty; she should have informed them first, causing them worry and even making them sick.
"Madam, let this old servant keep you company while you sleep." Granny He brought in the bedding.
She wanted to offer some words of advice, but she was afraid that mentioning the master would only upset the mistress.
Since learning of the master's disappearance, the madam has been as melancholy as before. She puts on a brave face in front of the eldest young mistress and the others, but in private, she often starts to space out.
Granny He was really worried.
"No need." Zhao Xian shook her head. "Granny got caught in the rain today, and you should quickly drink a bowl of the medicine the female doctor brewed, so you don't catch a cold."
Granny He helped Zhao Xian sit down by the bed: "Alright, this old servant will go in a bit. Or you can have Shaoyao keep watch tonight."
Zhao Xian saw her worry but still refused, "You are right next door, why do you need to keep watch alone at night? It's getting late, Granny, go and rest, you have to go home tomorrow."
"Then Madam, please rest early."
Granny He left a lamp on when she left.
Zhao Xian lay in bed unable to sleep. The rain outside had stopped. After thinking it over, she put on her clothes, picked up a lantern, and tiptoed out.
I returned to the bamboo grove where Master Lingkong lived, which the monk had told me about during the day.
During the day, the monks said that when Master Lingkong went into seclusion, he would set up a formation in the bamboo forest, making it difficult to enter.
Zhao Xian knew this and managed to avoid it.
The bamboo forest was very quiet at night. The rustling sound of the wind blowing through the bamboo leaves was eerie.
The night was moonless after the rain, making the bamboo forest even darker.
As usual, no matter how many times she went in, she kept going in circles inside, always ending up at the exit, but she continued to go in without hesitation.
As she walked from darkness to the first hint of dawn, Zhao Xian felt as if her legs were weighed down by a thousand pounds, and every step she took was excruciatingly painful.
In a daze, she realized that she seemed to have walked inside.
Before she fainted, she saw a bright red mark between her eyebrows, like the sun shining.
"Go home, go home, go home—"
Zhao Xian suddenly woke up and found herself lying in a rocking chair, next to a small bamboo hut, surrounded by bamboo forest.
Not far from her, a monk dressed in white was brewing tea on a stove.
Zhao Xian sat up abruptly: "Master Lingkong, what did you mean by what you said yesterday?"
Lingkong tossed two red dates into the pot, then looked up at Zhao Xian. "Madam Jiang, you've been away all night just to ask this question of this humble monk?"
Zhao Xian excitedly stood up, but as soon as her feet touched the ground, she cried out in pain, "Ah, it hurts, it hurts..."
This forced her to sit back down on the recliner. "You said I could make my wishes come true and achieve my goals, so I want to go home now. Can you help me?"
After worshipping the gods and Buddhas, Zhao Xian felt an indescribable sadness, grief, depression, and deep longing.
With the rain adding to the mix, all her emotions reached their peak at that moment, and her mind was filled with thoughts of the Jiang family father and his two sons.
It wasn't until Lingkong appeared and their conversation distracted her, allowing Zhao Xian to pull herself out of her sadness, that she realized something was wrong.
As for his words, "May your wishes come true" and "May your dreams be fulfilled," she was overjoyed. She was surprised that returning home might actually be possible, but her wish had been made. She was also happy that she might have found a capable person.
Before I could ask any more questions, Lingkong had already walked away and disappeared.
Zhao Xian stared intently at Master Lingkong: "You are an enlightened monk. I have thought carefully about the look in your eyes when you looked at me. Your wisdom is different. I humbly request that you send me home."
Zhao Xian didn't rest during her night in the bamboo forest; the more she thought about it, the more terrified she became.
If the original owner's emotions were only fleeting when encountering problems, it would help her understand the original owner's attitude towards others from those emotions.
At least before, she didn't think there was anything wrong with it, because even if those emotions appeared, they didn't affect her; at most, she would sometimes feel physically uncomfortable.
However, when she was worshipping the statue, the sorrowful and mournful emotions were so intense that she didn't realize something was wrong, and was instead affected by them.
Zhao Xian was not a Buddhist.
She, a person who only goes to temples with family or friends during the Lunar New Year to climb mountains and have fun, could actually utter the words "believer".
And she's such a cheerful person.
Even when she was so tired from following celebrities to appearances that she cried, she never felt depressed. Crying was just a way to vent her emotions. She would wipe away her tears and jump around and continue working.
As she knelt on the prayer mat, she felt a deep aversion to the fierce and menacing Buddha statues, yet her emotions were filled with sorrow and pain, and her longing reached its peak. In the end, she made such a wish.
Is she crazy?
She felt guilty and could have easily taken people to find Jiang Liangxu and bring Jiang Wei and Jiang Heng back, but why did she only pray to gods and place her hopes on idols?
"How do you know, Madam, that what you are asking for now is not your original wish?"
"That's not what I want. I want to go home."
The original owner of this body hoped that the Jiang family father and son would be safe, and she naturally hoped that they would be safe as well.
But she needs to think carefully before giving up her chance to go home in exchange for them; she would only do so if there was absolutely no other way.
But if the original owner of this body is also here, why should her opportunity be used in exchange? She disagreed with this.
Zhao Xian suddenly realized that the original owner's emotions had taken over and controlled her, and this hadn't started at Huguo Temple.
It should go back further, starting from when we met Jiang Liangxu.
She and Jiang Liangxu had only just met, yet the natural intimacy and familiarity in their interactions were unlike anything she would expect from a stranger she had only met a few times.
And then there's the subconscious tendency to rely on him, trust him, and worry about him.
Even if she was acting and faking it, these things shouldn't exist.
So, from that time on, the original body began to corrupt her, no, to devour her?
This is terrifying. She clearly controls her body and manipulates her actions, yet she can do things that go against her true inner thoughts.
She couldn't stay any longer.
Master Lingkong said in a calm voice, "Madam Jiang, everything has its own cause and effect, and cannot be forced."
"How do you know you can't force something if you haven't tried? Please take me home. Whatever you want, as long as I have it, I'll give it to you in exchange." I can't stay here any longer.
"Madam Jiang has ties to this world."
Zhao Xian immediately denied it: "No."
Lingkong wrapped the teapot handle with a handkerchief and poured tea with the feeling of pouring medicine: "This humble monk once said that Madam Jiang is a kind-hearted person."
Zhao Xian subconsciously thought of Jiang Shuxiu, Li Lianniang, and Cui Tingyue, who were the people she had the most and the deepest contact with since she transmigrated.
But no matter what, they and she were just passersby in the book.
Her sense of justice only existed when she was not threatened. People are selfish, Zhao Xian did not deny her current cold-bloodedness. "Master, please help me send me back."
"This humble monk cannot help Madam Jiang."
Zhao Xian bit her lip: "Has the master ever had blood on his hands?"
Lingkong stood up and handed a cup of tea to Zhao Xian: "What do you mean by that, Madam Jiang?"
“If you don’t help me leave, someone will die because of your inaction. It will be either me or her. Are you going to stand by and watch me die?”
Ling Kong looked calmly at Zhao Xian, "No one can help Madam Jiang. It's better to rely on yourself than to ask others for help."
Zhao Xian reached out and took the tea, still a little hot, and held it in her hands. She looked up at Master Lingkong and asked, "If I were to seek justice for myself, would the karma of the person I killed be considered Master's responsibility?"
She was willing to give up her body, but no one helped her leave.
Instead of pushing her away herself, the original owner wanted to devour her and use her promise to cut off her escape route.
Zhao Xian had no choice but to be ruthless.
Lingkong: "..."
Zhao Xian was just an ordinary person. She didn't want to take responsibility because she was afraid that if she did, she would never be able to go back.
Lingkong paused for a moment at Zhao Xian's words, then smiled. His eyes, which were meant to help everyone, showed a newfound warmth and interest, as if he were looking at her, yet also at someone else: "If this can put Madam Jiang at ease, this humble monk may agree."
Zhao Xian pursed her lips. This wasn't just empty talk. Shouldn't they have agreed to separate them and let them all live?
Are monks like this now? They even encourage killing.
After walking all night, Zhao Xian was very tired and thirsty. With a cup of tea in hand, she waited for it to cool down a bit before drinking it all in one gulp.
"After you've had your tea, Madam Jiang, you should go back now. Your maid and servants have come looking for you."
As he spoke, Lingkong walked up the bamboo steps, entered the bamboo house, and closed the door.
Zhao Xian endured the excruciating pain in her feet and got up, placing the cup on the recliner.
Knowing that her efforts would be fruitless, she did not linger.
After taking two steps, he turned back to the bamboo house and said, "Master, it's settled then. I am a mortal, and you will bear the consequences."
Inside the house, Lingkong stroked the head of the white fox lying in the basket. "Little White, do you think she will win?"
With slender fingers, he picked up the pen and wrote the character '异' (yì).
"One soul, two thoughts, each with its own obsession. How interesting."
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Author's Note: Four extra words were added to the previous chapter (My wish has been fulfilled).
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