Chapter 38 Extra (Tang Si'an)
The moment the plane landed, Chen Dahua opened her eyes on time. I admire her special skill of falling asleep on the plane and waking up after getting off the plane, because I can never fall asleep. Chen Dahua is very irritable when she wakes up. When she wakes up, the aisle is already full of people. Occasionally someone squeezes her, and I am particularly afraid that she will stand up and scold the other person. Her daily routine is to make people furious and speechless without using a single swear word. This is her job. Chen Dahua was very abnormal today. Uncle Qin Huai said that there must be something wrong when things are abnormal. I was a little panicked. We waited until the end to get off the plane. Chen Dahua finally spoke the first sentence, "Do you know what the only advantage of evil capitalism is?"
I'm still a child, how could I know such profound questions? Chen Dahua is really making things difficult for me!
Chen Dahua looked at my bewildered expression with a motherly, loving expression. "Save time! If we were in first class, we would have gotten off early!"
She was clearly upset that I hadn't bought her a first-class ticket. If other kids won scholarships, their mothers would definitely give them a bonus. But Chen Dahua wouldn't try to squeeze my little coffers like that. Chen Dahua's job really suits her. She kept talking about me from the moment we checked in, and she still hadn't forgotten after we got off the plane. She's such a talkative person!
"Chen Dahua, you will accelerate your aging process if you behave like this. You should relax and be flexible. Enduring hardships and hard work are the fine qualities of the Chinese nation."
Chen Dahua was very disdainful of my theory, just as she was disdainful of her grandmother's theory. Just as she was about to open her mouth to retort me, I quickly interrupted her, "I work so hard to improve the quality of life. Otherwise, why would I make money? Save it for you to marry a wife? Your father, Tang Si'an, married a wife with his own ability back then, so if you don't have the ability, don't harm other girls."
Chen Dahua's eyes blinked, and he coughed a few times before saying, "The brat has now learned to steal my lines. Have you paid the copyright fee?" It was Chen Dahua's style to talk about his own business every three sentences.
My classmates all envy me for having an elite mother like Chen Dahua.
While everyone else was frantically cramming for extra classes during their summer and winter vacations, I was the only one traveling around the country with Chen Dahua. Chen Dahua's friends had been waiting for us at the exit since morning. One was tall and thin, the other plump and round, and the two of them standing together were oddly funny. Chen Dahua gave me a look, and I immediately stepped forward to greet them. I don't know if it was an illusion, but I thought I saw tears flash in the eyes of the two uncles. I looked at Chen Dahua, and she came over and put her arm around my shoulders, smiling faintly without saying anything. I felt that Chen Dahua had grown shorter recently, even though her heels were never lower than 7cm.
The round uncle said everyone else is waiting for us at the hotel. We'll go out to eat after we drop off our luggage. We don't know what Si'an likes, so we chose the restaurant based on Chengting's taste. Chen Dahua said he's not picky about food, a fact he inherited from Director Tang, so he's easy to feed.
These two people knew my name and Lao Tang's name, but I had never seen them before. I quietly asked Chen Dahua who they were. Chen Dahua touched my head and said, "I'll tell you when we get home tonight."
To me, Old Tang is my father, living in the words of Chen Dahua and others. My memories of him reside only in our family photo albums from the time I was four years old. After that, Chen Dahua raised me alone. My grandparents and my grandmother would come to help her when she was particularly busy, but most of the time, we lived together.
I knew since I was a child that I didn’t have a father, and Chen Dahua never avoided this issue. When I was in kindergarten, other children said that I didn’t have a father, and I was a little sad. I even ate one less bowl of rice when I got home at night. Chen Dahua was keenly aware of my emotions. I asked her why I didn’t have a father. At that time, Chen Dahua was still a gentle mother. She held a pile of photos and said, Tang Si’an, you have a father. You are the child of your father and me. He gave you your name. You spent most of your time sticking to your father when you were a child, but you just don’t remember it. I continued to ask her why he wasn’t with me now. Chen Dahua raised her proud chin and said that he went to the finish line to wait for you in advance. Even without his company, he knew that you could grow up independently and strongly.
When I was in elementary school, Chen Dahua took me on a tour of the entire school. She said that this was the school chosen by Old Tang for you. He had come to inspect the school in advance when you were very young. He was better at this kind of thing than your mother, and he always had a longer-term vision.
When I was in junior high school, Chen Dahua had already begun to respect my opinions. She listed several junior high schools, and then pointed to one of them and said, "This is Lao Tang's former school." Of course, I secretly hope that you can go to the places he has been, but this does not affect your choice. No matter which middle school you want to enter, your mother will fully support you because this is your life.
When I was in high school, Uncle Zhang Xingyan accompanied me to school. I understood that he had been suppressed by Chen Dahua and was resentful, so along the way he kept telling me about all the bad deeds Chen Dahua had done when he was young. I really admired him for being able to be friends with Chen Dahua for so many years. Uncle Zhang Xingyan said, there is no way, the last thing your father told you was to give in to your mother, so you are really an accident. I silently said in my heart that he is the elder, and I, a junior, cannot talk back to him! He took me to visit the school. In fact, after a major renovation, the school is no longer the same as it was more than 30 years ago. The only thing that remains unchanged is the playground. When we arrived at an open space, he suddenly said, your father was standing here to teach your mother to do exercises. Your father felt ashamed, but he couldn't bear to see your mother pretending to be pitiful. Tang Si'an, you are not an accident, you are a child born out of love.
I think he was cursing Chen Dahua in disguise, but I have no solid evidence.
When I got home that night, I asked Chen Dahua if she was in a premature relationship. Chen Dahua had no sense of being a mother at all, and her tone was very proud. "If I hadn't fallen in love prematurely, would you have been born? If you have the ability, you can also fall in love prematurely, provided that you can find a girl as outstanding as your mother."
I really don't know what Old Tang sees in Chen Dahua. Is he thick-skinned?
My classmates all envy me for having such an open-minded mother like Chen Dahua.
The next morning, Chen Dahua, Lao Tang's friends, and I set off for Lao Tang's university. Chen Dahua had told me the night before that we were there to celebrate Lao Tang's centennial. Those uncles were all Lao Tang's roommates. The celebration was held on the central campus. Upon entering, we were greeted by a row of towering ancient trees, and the scent of the trees washed over us. I don't know why, but I inexplicably fell in love with this place.
The school celebration started at 10:00 AM, and we were there early, so we had plenty of time to wander around. Old Tang's roommates all changed into white T-shirts with the school's name printed on them. Chen Dahua asked if I wanted to wear one, but I was a little conflicted because I wasn't a student there. The chubby uncle said, "You're here on behalf of your father, so of course you can wear this on his behalf."
"No, I just put this dress on in advance." I saw Chen Dahua's first real smile after getting off the plane. When she really smiled, the corners of her eyes would curve up.
The mellow uncle jokingly said, "This character is just like Cheng Ting. He will climb up if given a pole."
Chen Dahua also laughed, "I was the one who brought him up, but his personality is nothing like mine. This kind of influence is such a failure."
I was very unconvinced, "I'm a boy, so of course my personality should be like my father's."
The tall and thin uncle patted my shoulder and said, "I think she is quite like Xiaohua. She is cheerful and lively, and that comes from her bones."
When we were almost done with our shopping, we headed towards the convention center. Chen Dahua didn't join us. She said she had somewhere else to go and asked if she could go alone. I felt like Chen Dahua was looking down on me, but I had no evidence.
I waved goodbye and told her not to stray too far. I was afraid she'd get so tired from crying that she wouldn't be able to find her way back. I knew where she was going; I'd seen a picture of her and Old Tang together.
It wasn't until Chen Dahua's back disappeared in the crowd that I turned my head and asked Lao Tang's roommate, "Uncle, do you know what kind of person Lao Tang is?"
"Is that what my mother said?"
"Grandma said that if Chen Dahua hadn't given birth to me, her life would be better than it is now, but she is very stubborn and won't even listen to grandma."
"Is Old Tang someone worthy of Chen Dahua doing this?"
Many people have asked Chen Dahua whether it was worth it. Uncle Qin Huai asked, Aunt Mo asked, and even Grandma asked, but Chen Dahua never answered. I sometimes wonder if Chen Dahua has ever regretted a single moment. Which of these two things would she regret, being with Old Tang or stubbornly giving birth to me?
"Your father is a smooth-talking man in front of outsiders. He's excellent and trustworthy, but that's not the real him. Many people trust him, but he only trusts your mother. He only shows his truest side to your mother. That's an imperfect Tang Chengting, and only your mother can bear it. Before your mother came along, your father was actually prepared to live out his life in solitude. After your mother came along, he worked harder than ever, hoping to spend more time with her. After you were born, he was happy but also worried... He always tried to be a good husband and a good father."
If Old Tang were still alive, what kind of father would he be?
Would he wear a white T-shirt, like other fathers, holding hands with his wife and children, and introduce us to the cultural atmosphere of this school? Would he, like other stern fathers, teach me to be humble and reserved when I boast? Would he, like they say, clink glasses at dinner parties, be measured in his actions, and let Chen Dahua be a quiet foodie?
Twelve years after Lao Tang passed away, I went to his university and heard many old stories from his old friends.
I heard that my father stayed up late playing games; I heard that my father pursued someone; I heard that my father was very good at academics; I heard that my father had a lot of small emotions; I heard that my father was very loyal to his friends; I heard that my father was once Chen Dahahua's light.
When I found Chen Dahua, she was sitting on a bench, staring at a green meadow in a daze.
"When I first came here, your dad was standing in the grass in shorts taking pictures of me. Then his legs were covered in red spots from bug bites. He immediately jumped out after taking the pictures and put a big hat on me, saying it was all because of me." Chen Dahua was clearly smiling when she spoke to me, but I felt she was sad. "Your dad was still a child at that time, but he insisted on pretending to be steady and mature in front of others. He actually wanted me to feel sorry for him that day, but I didn't. I was too busy arguing with him."
"We walked from the front door to the back door. At that time, the school had access control. He swiped his ID card in front, and it showed his name, gender, class, and department. At that moment, I felt extremely regretful. I regretted wasting ten years, not knowing what I wanted, and never working hard for what I wanted. I regretted coming to him too late."
"For sixteen years, I didn't dare to enter your high school, nor did I dare to enter here."
"Tang Si'an, I suddenly miss Tang Chengting today." Chen Dahua said this in the same tone as when she usually said to me, 'Tang Si'an, I suddenly want to eat hot pot today,' provided that you ignore her tears rolling down.
Twelve years after Old Tang left, Chen Dahua revisited the old place and cried like a child who lost his most beloved toy.
She hasn't shed a single tear in these twelve years.
On this day, she stood deep in the corridor of memory and saw her young man, and the mountains collapsed and the earth cracked.
On this day, she was Tang Chengting's wife.
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