Green Waterfall in its Youth 4
In the end, he could only mutter, "He...he's a very good person."
"A very good person?" The senior brother raised an eyebrow, noticing his junior brother's embarrassment and unspoken words. He didn't press further, but simply patted Shi Qing's shoulder with a light touch. "Alright, a very good person. But Xiao Qing," he said more seriously, "I'm reminding you, no matter what kind of relationship you have, you need to have a sense of right and wrong, and you need to see the road ahead clearly. The world is a long and complicated place, don't rush in headfirst, or you'll end up hurting yourself."
Shi Qing knew that his senior brother was doing it for his own good, and nodded silently.
Seeing that he had taken it to heart, his senior brother resumed his lazy demeanor: "However, it's good for young people to have some aspirations. Just don't forget your sect's lessons, and be careful when you're out and about. I've heard of that Ghost Market... it's a mixed bag, not a peaceful place."
"Yes, I know, thank you, senior brother," Shi Qing said softly.
His senior brother waved his hand and walked out, leaving Shi Qing alone in the room, his mind reeling. His senior brother's words forced him to confront the feelings deep within him that had long surpassed "gratitude" and "past affection." What exactly did he feel for Yuan Xi?
It wasn't just about repaying a debt of gratitude, or simply about dependence. He wanted to get closer, to understand more deeply, to share burdens, and—a longing to be there for each other forever.
Seeing him tired makes my heart ache; learning that he was injured or poisoned fills me with fear; holding his cold hands makes me want to warm him; and seeing his true emotions occasionally revealed when he lets his guard down fills my heart with a bittersweet feeling.
This feeling was both unfamiliar and overwhelming, leaving Shi Qing somewhat at a loss, yet incredibly clear.
He walked to the window and looked in the general direction of the Ghost Market. Dusk was falling; were the Nine Streams Gate's territory, hidden beneath Kaifeng, also lit up with dim lights? What was Yuan Xi doing? Was he alone in the empty room, or was he helping someone again? Did his back still hurt? Did he take his medicine on time today?
His chaotic thoughts finally settled into a soft sigh. Shi Qing touched the roughly carved wooden rat plaque in his arms, then looked at the old cloak that belonged to Yuan Xi hanging by his bedside. No matter what the future held, no matter how his senior brother or others thought, he only knew that he couldn't let go of that person.
Just as he had been thinking during the day—it wasn't enough.
That's far from enough.
Occasional visits and a mere "old friend" relationship were far from enough to quell the burning passion in his heart that had been raging for seven years and had intensified since their reunion; he simply wanted to get closer.
As night deepened, Shi Qing's eyes grew brighter and brighter. The shyness and panic caused by her senior brother's teasing subsided, replaced by a more determined resolve.
He waited for seven years and finally found her. What could be more terrifying than losing all contact and being unable to find her anywhere?
At least now, he's found him. At least now, he can see him.
*
"I said," Yuan Xi had just opened the door early in the morning when he saw Shi Qing blocking the entrance. He didn't know whether to be angry or amused. "When did Tianquan become so free? Don't you practice your skills?"
"I'm done practicing." Shi Qing replied confidently, extremely proud, and then her eyes lit up with childlike excitement. "Guess what I brought you?"
Yuanxi then noticed that his hands had been hidden behind his back.
I don't know what this child is thinking. He never comes empty-handed. Now his little house is full of wooden signs, malt candy, lamps, and dolls. Shi Qing brings him whatever he sees.
"I can't guess."
Shi Qing had been waiting for him to say those words, and the moment he finished speaking, she couldn't wait to bring out the items behind her.
“Look.”
When he saw what it was, Won-seok was genuinely stunned.
It was a small mouse that looked almost exactly like the deceased "Zhizhi." Thinking of this, he felt even worse, wondering how much effort Shi Qing had put in to find it.
"Don't you like it?" Seeing that he remained silent for a long time, Shi Qing felt a little uneasy—had he been too presumptuous? What if this rat brought up Yuan Xi's painful memories? What if it was just an irreplaceable presence in Yuan Xi's heart...
"No, no." Just as he was lost in thought, Yuanxi smiled and took it. "I like it very much." The mouse spun around in his palm twice, and then very naturally climbed onto Yuanxi's shoulder.
"Have you chosen a name yet?"
That's a very pertinent question. "Her name is... Shuangshuang."
"Shuangshuang?" Yuan Xi repeated the name, gently rubbing the fluffy head of the little mouse on his shoulder with his fingertips. The little mouse squeaked and affectionately rubbed against his fingers.
Looking into Shi Qing's bright, slightly apprehensive yet expectant eyes, a gentle warmth suddenly soothed his heart. This child... is always like this, impulsive yet sincere, clumsy yet determined, wanting to offer him everything he believes is good.
"Hmm, a good name." Yuan Xi's voice was softer than usual, and the corners of his eyes curved upwards as usual. The fatigue and aloofness seemed to be dispelled a little by the morning light and the person in front of him. "Zhizhi... Shuangshuang, that's good."
Upon receiving confirmation, Shi Qing immediately beamed with joy, as if he had received some immense praise. He couldn't hide his excitement: "Right! It's very well-behaved too. The person who sold it said it's very smart, learns quickly, and isn't shy..." He rambled on about the process of finding "Shuangshuang," but his eyes were always sparkling as he looked at the little guy on Yuan Xi's shoulder, and he would occasionally glance at Yuan Xi's expression to make sure that he really liked it.
Yuan Xi listened quietly, leaning against the doorframe. Watching Shi Qing gesticulate wildly and listen to his youthful, energetic voice, he felt as if even the pervasive gloom and dampness of the Ghost Market had been dispelled. On his shoulder, "Shuangshuang" seemed to have adjusted to her new position, curiously looking around, her little nose twitching.
"...So, you really like it, right?" Shi Qing finally finished speaking, then asked again to confirm, still not entirely convinced.
"I like it." Yuan Xi nodded, answering with certainty. He paused, looking at Shi Qing's cheeks, slightly flushed from running and excitement, and the fine beads of sweat on his forehead. Almost unconsciously, he reached out and casually wiped Shi Qing's face with his sleeve. "Runned all morning? Did you have breakfast?"
This natural and intimate gesture startled both of them. Shi Qing's face turned even redder, but her eyes shone even brighter. Yuan Xi, on the other hand, awkwardly withdrew his hand, touched his nose, and turned to walk into the house: "Come in, I just made some porridge, have some."
"Oh, oh, okay!" Shi Qing quickly replied and followed him inside, her heart beating a little fast.
In the simple room, porridge bubbled and steamed in an old earthenware pot, filling the air with its aroma. Yuanxi ladled out two bowls and gestured for Shiqing to sit down. The two sat facing each other, drinking porridge. The atmosphere was quiet for a moment, save for the playful "Shuangshuang" bouncing curiously between Yuanxi's shoulder and the table, making rustling sounds.
"It..." Shi Qing looked at "Shuangshuang" and then at Yuan Xi's empty other shoulder, and asked hesitantly, "Will it help you 'fight' in the future?" He remembered that Yuan Xi had said that the rule of the Nine Schools was to tie rats to the dart rope.
Yuanxi paused in his porridge-drinking motion, looked up at him, his eyes filled with complex emotions, before a helpless smile appeared on his face: "Rules are rules. But Shuangshuang is still young, and..." He glanced at the lively little creature on his shoulder, his tone gentle without him even realizing it, "It doesn't have to do that. Just treat it as a companion."
Shi Qing nodded vigorously: "Yes! It's good to have someone to keep you company!" He actually had a selfish motive. He found "Shuangshuang" to make up for Yuan Xi's regret of losing "Zhizhi", but on a deeper level, he probably hoped that this little life could replace him and bring Yuan Xi a bit of vitality and comfort in those moments when he could not be there for him.
"You..." Yuan Xi hesitated for a moment, but still asked, "You've been coming here so often these past few days. Is everything really alright in Tianquan? Didn't your senior brothers and sisters say anything about you?"
"It's nothing!" Shi Qing said immediately, her eyes a little unfocused. "I've finished all my homework and haven't missed any training... My senior brothers... know I'm here with you." Her voice trailed off as she spoke, and her ears burned a little as she recalled her senior brothers' teasing.
Yuan Xi, being so perceptive, guessed seven or eight parts of what was going on from his reaction, but didn't point it out. He simply stirred the porridge in his bowl slowly, lost in thought. "Shi Qing," he suddenly spoke, his voice calm, "this place is not a good place. As you can see, it's dark, damp, and inhabited by people who... live for today and don't know what tomorrow will bring. Your frequent visits will not do your reputation any good."
“I don’t care!” Shi Qing retorted immediately, putting down her bowl and looking at him intently. “I’ve said it before, I want to be with you. What does reputation matter? Rules are rigid, but people are flexible. Besides—” His voice lowered, tinged with stubbornness, “I think it’s fine here, at least you’re here.”
Yuanxi looked at him, remaining silent for a long time. The porridge in the bowl gradually cooled, the steam dissipating. Shuangshuang on his shoulder seemed tired from playing, curling up in the crook of his neck, emitting soft purrs.
In the end, Yuan Xi sighed almost inaudibly, suppressing his mixed emotions, and reached out to ruffle Shi Qing's hair—a gesture that seemed to be coming more and more naturally to him.
"Eat quickly, the porridge is getting cold." He didn't continue the topic, but said lightly, "After you finish eating... come with me to the Daoxuanhu to get the medicine. Also, show Shuangshuang the way."
"Okay!" Shi Qing's eyes lit up. She immediately picked up the bowl and finished the rest of the porridge in a few gulps, her movements so fast that it seemed as if she was afraid Yuan Xi would change his mind.
*
"Wonseok, you money bag..."
Oh no! Having done too much of this at the Nine Streams Sect, Yuan Xi was distracted when the God of Wealth from Tianquan passed by, and subconsciously took the money pouch from the Tianquan disciple.
"Uh, this..." Shi Qing could easily recognize that it was his senior brother's purse, but he did not blame him. Instead, he took off his own purse and gave it to Yuan Xi, and exchanged it with his fellow disciple's.
The bag was heavy, and seemed to still retain Shi Qing's body heat.
Yuan Xi weighed Shi Qing's purse in his hand and raised an eyebrow: "You just gave it to me like that? Aren't you afraid I'll turn around and use it to buy drinks? Or... go and 'steal' from someone else?" He said this on purpose to see Shi Qing's reaction.
Shi Qing tilted his head, looking at him earnestly. "You won't." His tone was so certain that Yuan Xi was taken aback. "At least not now," Shi Qing added, his eyes clear. "Besides, what's mine is yours. You can use this to buy whatever you want." He paused, his voice lowering slightly, with a hint of barely perceptible embarrassment. "Although, cough, although I might not be as 'rich' as my senior brother, it should... be enough for you for a while."
“…Aren’t you stupid?” Yuan Xi sighed and handed the money bag back to him. “I’m not so destitute as to steal a child’s money.”
What?
Shi Qing retorted, "I gave it to you voluntarily." But no matter what he said, Yuan Xi refused to take it. Shi Qing dejectedly withdrew his hand, and Yuan Xi chuckled at the sight, pinching his cheek. "Why are you acting like you've been robbed?"
"If you don't want mine... then don't take anyone else's either."
These words were spoken lightly and quickly, with a touch of stubborn defiance and a hint of...possessiveness?
Yuan Xi paused, his fingers pinching Shi Qing's cheek, and looked at him with some surprise. Shi Qing's cheeks were slightly red from being pinched, but his eyes did not flinch, and at this moment they reflected an awkward persistence even more clearly.
This sudden, childlike declaration made Won-seok's complex emotions—from "mistake" to being "helped"—suddenly become somewhat subtle, a little funny, and a little strangely tender.
He released his hand, looking at the faint red mark on Shi Qing's cheek, his fingertips still feeling the warmth of the touch.
"What?" Yuan Xi crossed his arms, looking at him leisurely, a familiar, slightly roguish smile playing on his lips, but a barely perceptible hint of inquiry flashed in his eyes. "Tianquan disciples are now meddling in the old ways of the Nine Schools? Aren't they being a bit too nosy, hmm?"
He deliberately spoke in a lighthearted and joking tone, wanting to see how Shi Qing would respond.
Shi Qing pursed his lips, unmoved by his teasing. Instead, he took a small step closer, lowering his voice but still insisting, "I'm not concerned with your 'old profession.' I mean, if you need money, or... or want anything, you can tell me." He raised his eyes, his gaze intense. "What's mine is yours, that's true. So you... you shouldn't take other people's things." He paused, then added softly, "Especially people I know."
This final addition adds a subtle hint of worry—a fear that he might "get into trouble"—to this stubborn "possession."
Yuan Xi fell silent. He certainly understood the unspoken meaning in Shi Qing's words. ...This child, after going through such a long and complicated process, expressed the purest concern and protection in such an awkward yet domineering way.
That's really... incredibly stupid.
But the still lake in my heart rippled slightly because of these "foolish" words.
After a while, Yuan Xi raised his hand, this time not to twist, but to roughly rub Shi Qing's head, making the bun he had carefully tied up when he left home in the morning a little loose.
"Understood, little God of Wealth." He chuckled again. "Let's go." With that, Yuan Xi started walking towards the direction where rat feed was sold.
Shi Qing followed, looked up at the sky, looked down at the ground, and then looked around. She seemed indifferent, but her tone was full of probing, "Um... my senior brothers and sisters said that I'm not young anymore and I can start thinking about getting married."
"Yes, it's good." Yuan Xi nodded.
Shi Qing abruptly stopped, blinked twice, and looked at Yuan Xi with a mixture of disbelief and hurt. "Pretty, pretty good?" He repeatedly checked Yuan Xi's expression, but ultimately couldn't find a single flaw in it.
Unexpectedly, Yuanxi nodded again, "Hmm. Anything you like? Let me help you decide?"
Shi Qing: "..."
He bit his lower lip, his breathing faster than usual, it was hard to tell if it was from anger or something else, and his hands, hanging at his sides, tightened involuntarily and trembled slightly.
"Hey, hey—why did he leave?" Yuan Xi called out twice as he saw Shi Qing turn and leave without looking back, but Shi Qing not only didn't turn around, but his pace quickened.
Yuan Xi stood there, watching Shi Qing almost jog as he disappeared around the street corner. His straight back and slightly trembling shoulders stung him like thorns.
He touched his chin, his fingertips still seeming to retain the sensation of when he ruffled Shi Qing's hair, and even earlier, the warm, slightly elastic softness of when he pinched his cheek.
"He's got quite a temper." He muttered to himself, his tone unreadable, but the usual languor and indifference in his eyes had been replaced by something more complex.
Of course he knew what Shi Qing meant by what she had just said: that clumsy probing, that barely concealed expectation, and that last sentence, "Pretty good?", tinged with resentment and hurt.
...He wasn't made of wood. After seven years of wandering the world, he had seen all sorts of people. Shi Qing's feelings had already been clearly revealed in his frequent visits, his persistent companionship, and his unreserved "what's mine is yours."
But... Yuanxi lowered his eyes and looked at his slightly pale hands, with distinct knuckles and faint old scars. These hands had been used to reach into purses, to get covered in mud, and had almost been unable to hold anything again.
This body harbors a chilling poison, and its future is shrouded in a dark and uncertain mist. If nothing unexpected happens, the stone wall of Guishizi or the underworld will be his final resting place. But Shi Qing is different; they shouldn't be on the same path.
"A staff officer?" Yuan Xi gave a self-deprecating twitch at the corner of his mouth.
What advice could he offer? Advise on how to struggle in this quagmire, or how to face a partner who could become a dream puppet at any moment? Those words, rather than being a joke, were more like a boundary he drew for himself and for Shi Qing.
He had to push this overly intense, overly close feeling further and further away, even if... he would see a look of loss and hurt appear in those always bright eyes.
But as that figure resolutely walked away, a dull pain inevitably shot through my chest. It felt as if a hand had gripped my heart tightly, squeezing it hard, and the resulting anguish and pain lingered for a long time.
The "Shuangshuang" nestled in his arms seemed to have been awakened by the commotion. It poked out its fluffy little head, squeaked twice, and looked at him with its beady black eyes.
Yuanxi gently tapped its little nose and sighed.
“Your little master,” he whispered to the mouse, “is even more difficult to deal with than Zizi was back then.”
He ultimately didn't chase after her immediately. He simply stood there, gazing in the direction Shi Qing had disappeared. After a long while, he slowly turned around and continued walking towards the stall where he had originally intended to buy rat food. His steps seemed a little heavier than when he came, and the casual smile that usually graced his lips was completely gone.
The sun was still shining brightly, and the market was still bustling, but Yuanxi felt as if this liveliness was separated from him by a layer of fog, and no matter how he looked at it, it seemed dull and tasteless.
...
After that day, Shi Qing never came again.
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