Green Waterfall in its Youth 6
The mutton soup shop was small, with only four or five tables, and it wasn't crowded at this hour. Yuanxi chose a seat towards the back, and expertly ordered two bowls of mutton soup, several sesame cakes, and a pot of warmed wine.
"You can drink too?" Shi Qing sat down opposite him, looking sullen. Her emotions were being torn between the question that was about to burst out, but she swallowed it back helplessly. In the end, she could only ask this one question.
"Occasionally." Yuan Xi poured two glasses, pushing one towards Shi Qing. "It's cold, this will warm you up."
The soup arrived quickly, piping hot and milky white, sprinkled with scallions and cilantro, its aroma irresistible. Yuanxi slowly and deliberately broke open a sesame seed cake and dipped it into the soup. Shiqing, however, couldn't eat a single bite, only staring at the glass of wine in front of her, its surface reflecting the flickering light of the oil lamp.
"Don't you like candy?" Shi Qing looked up and asked the man opposite her. "I noticed you didn't touch any of those malt candies." This was a euphemism; it was more than just "didn't touch them"—it was practically untouched. If the Ghost Market weren't still relatively cold underground, they would probably have melted into a pile of candy cakes.
"Eating too much will give you a toothache," Yuan Xi said.
"You don't even like the wooden plaque?" The rejection was so hurting that Shi Qing could barely breathe. His nose stung, and he stammered, "I... I've never carved anything before, so it's not very pretty—"
Yuan Xi looked up at him: "Shi Qing."
The call was very soft, yet it made all of Shi Qing's words catch in his throat. He saw a faint weariness in Yuan Xi's eyes, like a snow-covered mountain ridge that seemed calm on the surface but had countless cracks beneath.
“I sent you to Jingxi back then because I felt it was safe and clean there,” Yuanxi said slowly. “Now you’ve grown up, you’re a disciple of Tianquan, you have a future, fellow disciples, and countless paths to take. Guishizi has no light, and neither does the path I’ve walked.”
"I don't care—"
“But I do care.” Yuan Xi interrupted him, his tone still calm. “Besides, you can’t help me at all by my side.”
"What……"
Shi Qing saw Yuan Xi pick up his wine cup and drink it all in one gulp.
After a long silence, a customer at another table said to the waiter, who was wiping his sweat after finishing his work, "Your wine is really flavorful! It's incredibly spicy."
……hot?
"The poison of the cold fungus penetrates deep into the bone marrow," he heard Yuan Xi say, his tone still flat. "My sense of taste, pain, and smell are slowly disappearing. So your candy is useless."
Shi Qing's heart skipped a beat, and her eyes almost instantly turned red.
"I don't need any of your concern."
...
"No need...?" Shi Qing repeated mechanically, his voice dry and hoarse.
Yuanxi didn't look at him, but instead lowered his head and poked at the softened pancakes in the bowl with his chopsticks. The light from the oil lamp fell on his profile, casting a silent shadow.
Shi Qing felt a chill run through her body.
He recalled those days—how he would excitedly rush to the ghost market with malt candy in his pocket, and Yuanxi would always take it, smiling as he ruffled his hair and said, "Thanks." He remembered by the Bian River, how he would cautiously ask if the medicine was bitter, and Yuanxi would tilt his head back and drink, saying, "It's alright." He remembered every moment he thought he could get a little closer, the way Yuanxi's eyes curved when he accepted a gift, the warmth of his fingertips as he took the candy…
They're all fake.
Or rather, it was all an act for him.
"You..." Shi Qing's voice trembled, "You've been lying to me all along?"
“It’s not a lie,” Yuanxi corrected him, “it’s just that there’s no need to say it. What good would it do? Would it make you pity me more? Or make you more reluctant to leave?”
"Take it back. Didn't you say we were even? Perfect timing."
Perfect, perfect, perfect, perfect!
Just as despicable as that flippant "It's fine"!
"We're even." Shi Qing chuckled, his eyes red. He sniffed and nodded thoughtfully. "Alright, we're even." He took out the malt candy from his bundle and immediately distributed it to the other customers in the shop. Even the waiter got two pieces, and he kept praising Shi Qing for his good taste, saying that the candy was really sweet.
“Right? Then eat more. Ask me if you’re still hungry.” After greeting the others, Shi Qing sat back down under Yuan Xi’s probing gaze, a cruel smile lingering in her eyes. “Yuan Xi, if you really want me to give up, don’t return it to me intact. You should distribute it to strangers in front of me without even asking. That’s the right thing to do.”
“…” Yuan Xi nodded, as if he had learned something, “You’re right.”
Shi Qing was so angry that his chest heaved violently, and his fingertips holding the oil paper package trembled. Just as he was immersed in the smugness of winning back the round, he saw Yuan Xi push something else in front of him.
"Here you go... It doesn't bond with other animals, and it'll throw a tantrum in a different environment. It's better if you take care of it." This time, what was presented to Shi Qing was the living, breathing "Shuangshuang." The little guy, unaware of what was happening, was nestled in Yuan Xi's palm, munching on a biscuit.
The anger in his eyes vanished instantly, replaced by more complex emotions.
Shi Qing looked at the man opposite her in disbelief. He remained patient and held Shuangshuang in his arms as if he would continue to do so for the rest of his life if Shi Qing did not accept him.
It's hard to remember what it felt like to take the little guy home. As Shuangshuang nuzzled Shi Qing's fingertips with her warm, soft body, it heard a trembling voice above it, "Yuanxi, I don't think I recognize you anymore."
What was Won-seok's response?
The hand holding the wine glass twitched slightly, and he said, "It's been too long."
...
After that mutton soup, life seemed to slip into a strange atmosphere.
The stone chamber was silent, devoid of both joyful laughter and the squeaking of mice; it was as still as if someone had died. Even though he had always lived like this, Yuanxi felt an immense sense of desolation at this moment.
People shouldn't have even the slightest taste of sweetness. Thinking of this, he curled his lips in self-mockery, laughing at his own uselessness, incompetence, and powerlessness.
"Yuanxi, we should go." His fellow disciples were calling to him.
Yuanxi picked up the thin bundle and replied, "Yes, I'm coming."
The group, carrying only a few pieces of luggage, chatted and laughed. Prolonged illness had made their bodies extremely brittle, their legs practically rusted. Only Yuanxi, Hongyue, and a middle-aged strong man could still walk normally. Everyone laughed, saying Yuanxi was lucky; after all, the other two had only suffered abdominal injuries, while Yuanxi had almost been paralyzed from the spine. Even so, he still seemed "healthier" than most.
"Boom—" The stone wall opened.
Outside the shelter was a bustling ghost market. A passing child rushed up and hugged Hongyue, "Sister, are you leaving?"
Hongyue ruffled his hair. "I'll be back soon. I'll come back to fly kites with you."
Yuan Xi stood to the side, watching his senior sister comfort the child, and couldn't help but feel a pang of sorrow in his heart. Would they even be able to return from this trip? How many would return...? Who could guarantee it? Who dared to guarantee it?
He was about to step forward to help his junior brother, who couldn't see bright light, put on a blindfold when, just as he rounded the previous fellow disciple, he saw a familiar face at the most familiar intersection.
Shi Qing looked as if she had run all the way here, just like the way Yuan Xi saw her the night he left the Inverted Pot.
He held Shuangshuang in his hands, with a wooden plaque in Shuangshuang's mouth. The man and the mouse just stared at the person under the lamplight not far away, hesitating to go over.
Seeing this, Yuan Xi sighed inwardly. After reminding his junior brother to put on his blindfold, he walked towards the intersection.
Yuan Xi struggled to walk that short distance. Not only because of the pain in his back, but also because he didn't know how to start a conversation with Shi Qing.
What do you want to say?
"Why are you here?" Or something even more hurtful?
Fortunately, Shi Qing didn't give Yuan Xi a chance to speak first. He opened his lips, his eyes revealing a complex mix of emotions, "Are you going to Wuxin Valley?"
Upon hearing this, Yuan Xi was taken aback at first, looking slightly surprised, but then he smiled. He nodded and said, "You've found out very accurately. Who did you ask? Senior Sister Hongyue seems unlikely."
“I have my own connections,” Shi Qing retorted, his tone less than friendly, seemingly still angry. As soon as he finished speaking, he took the wooden plaques he had been holding in his mouth and forcefully shoved them into Yuan Xi's hand. “Here you go.”
"?" Yuan Xi held the wooden sign, puzzled.
Shi Qing: "Consider this amulet a blessing from an old friend. You have to come back. Shuangshuang... she doesn't listen to me very well. She's restless at night, and I can't sleep well. I'll give her back to you when you come back."
Yuanxi listened quietly, and found it funny to see Shiqing slowly lower his eyes—perhaps Shiqing himself didn't realize that he didn't dare to look people in the eye when he lied, at least not to Yuanxi.
My heart, which had been beating slower and slower recently, suddenly perked up, and I felt a tightness and fullness in my chest.
Looking at the full back of Shi Qing's head, Yuan Xi restrained the urge to ruffle Shi Qing's hair and whispered, "Okay."
"Then I'll go and meet up with them first."
Just as he turned around, his forearm was gripped tightly by the person behind him.
"I haven't finished speaking yet." Shi Qing said with a slight nasal tone, and Yuan Xi could feel how the hand holding him was trembling.
Shi Qing: "The peace charm was given as a friend, but it wasn't given when you came back."
“As a friend, I’ve waited long enough. Wonseok, if you’re really determined to push me away, then come back and stand in front of me and tell me every single word.”
Just as Won Seok was about to sigh and say, "Why bother?", he heard him say, "But I won't give up."
The force of that hand increased slightly.
"When you saw me off before, you never asked if I wanted to. Not long ago, when you pushed me away, you didn't ask if I wanted to." Shi Qing's voice trembled. He really didn't want to force people, but if he didn't, there would only be a dead end between him and Yuan Xi. "I know you only agreed verbally, but you didn't really want me to wait. I, however, will not!"
The last three words were almost squeezed out through gritted teeth.
Yuanxi's breath hitched.
“Yuanxi, it’s true that you saved me,” Shi Qing continued, “but you can’t use that to arbitrarily decide my life again and again! What makes you think that taking me to a safe place is for my own good? What makes you think that pushing me away is for my own good? And what makes you think that acting solely according to your own will is for my own good?!”
"You think we're even?" Shi Qing's eyes were red, but she stubbornly refused to let the tears fall. "Let me tell you, we're not even!"
He pointed to his heart, his voice suddenly rising, "Unless I give you back the seven extra years I've lived."
"Shi Qing!" Yuan Xi's expression finally changed. He grabbed Shi Qing's wrist and shouted, "Do you know what you're saying?!"
"I know, I know it better than anyone else, more than ever before!" Shi Qing glared back without flinching. Seven years of pent-up grievances, waiting, searching, heartache, and the fear of losing me now all transformed into burning anger and a declaration, "You think saving me is a favor, a burden? Fine, then I'll give up my life and return it to you. And then what? Then am I free? Can I wait for you, chase after you, according to my own will?"
The crowd not far away had quieted down at some point. As Shi Qing finished speaking, Ghost Market fell silent. Hong Yue, who had come to call his junior brother back to the team, was already standing to the side. The two of them peeked out from Shi Qing's sleeve, chirping, but were frightened by the heavy atmosphere and shrank back.
Yuanxi looked at the young man before him, at his red-rimmed eyes, his trembling body, and the reckless, burning light in his eyes. That light was so scorching that it almost burned his self-righteous "arrangements" and "sacrifices" to ashes.
He opened his mouth as if to say something, but found his throat blocked.
Shi Qing looked at him, tears finally rolling down her cheeks, but they did not diminish the sharpness in his eyes: "Yuan Xi. Even if you hadn't come back then, the senior brothers and sisters of the Nine Streams Sect would have come, and I might... have survived."
He sniffed, his voice choked with emotion, yet incredibly stubborn: "But I don't care! I just remember that you brought me out, so you have to take responsibility!" His words carried a childlike arrogance, yet were as heavy as a mountain.
"Aren't you afraid I'll pity you?" Shi Qing suddenly smiled, a smile with a cruelty that was unique to young people, almost naive. "Then let me tell you, I do pity you. I pity you for caring but not daring to ask for it; I pity you for being in pain but unable to say it; I pity you for having to rely on others to tell you whether a piece of candy is sweet or bitter."
“I pity you, Yuanxi.” His voice lowered, but each word was clear. “Therefore, I will not leave.”
For a long time, a deathly silence spread through the passage.
Yuan Xi closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and when he opened them again, a deep crack seemed to have been pried open in the desolate ice field beneath his eyes. There was exhaustion, powerlessness, tremor, and a kind of... almost surrendering helplessness.
He looked at Shi Qing's tear-streaked yet incredibly stubborn face, and at his strikingly bright eyes, which reflected a profound and burning sense of being needed that he had never dared to confront before.
"……good."
His voice was hoarse, almost as if it were being squeezed out from between his teeth.
"good."
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com