Chapter 126 No Love
Yu Nian's heart skipped a beat. It turned out that he had read the words in her diary.
Memories from many years ago flooded into her mind, and she seemed to be able to empathize with what she was thinking at that time.
"I did think so." I was young at that time, and when I met someone I liked, I decided that I had to be with him in this life, and wrote a lot of hypocritical and sour words. Yu Nian did not deny it, but admitted, "I always thought so before you returned to China."
Ji Yanxing's throat tightened.
"But Ji Yanxing," she said in a low voice and a calm tone, "I am already 28 years old this year. I don't have the next 11 years to spend with you, nor do I have the energy to spend any more with you."
Confused about why he didn't love her.
When will he fall in love with her?
A 17-year-old girl who keeps talking about love is just overexcited. She is almost 30 years old now, so it's time to be more pragmatic.
She looked into his eyes and said pleadingly, "Please let me go, okay?"
After sending Yu Nian home, Ji Yanxing did not get out of the car, but drove aimlessly on the streets.
At night before eight o'clock, lights are on everywhere in the center of the city, and countless rays of light make the world seem illusory.
The black car was like a wandering ghost in the dark night, driving without direction, and finally heading to the edge of the city.
Ji Yanxing's hands were on the steering wheel, his eyes looking straight ahead. His eyes were dark and calm without a trace of emotion. Only the numbers on the display showed that he was not calm at the moment.
As we get further away from the city center, the number of vehicles on the road gradually decreases and the speed of cars gradually increases.
Smooth roads and high car speeds often produce exciting and stimulating hormones.
Ji Yanxing went to the law firm to find her directly after get off work. He was wearing a neat suit, as if he had just attended a business meeting.
While waiting for the red light, he tugged at the tie around his neck, tore it off and threw it on the passenger seat, then unbuttoned the top two buttons of his shirt so that he could breathe more easily.
The car finally stopped next to a park near the river.
He had been driving for more than an hour. It was now almost half past nine, less than ten o'clock. There were only ordinary residential buildings nearby, and there were still quite a few people in the park.
There are young lovers or couples walking hand in hand, elderly people pushing their spouses in wheelchairs, girlfriends chatting on wooden chairs, and a walking group that is finishing work and preparing to go home.
There are all kinds of people.
It's just that rarely does anyone come here alone.
A lone person seems a little out of place in such a bustling place.
Ji Yanxing did not get out of the car, but just rolled down the window and looked at the flowing river. The whole row of street lamps emitted faint light, and it was deserted and silent.
He took out a cigarette and put it between his lips. After lighting it, he did not smoke it, but held it between his fingers and let it flicker.
The smoke made the vision blurry.
I recalled what she said in the office. She said that being with him and loving him made her feel tired.
From the time they got married until now, he had always treated Yu Nian as his property. She was his wife and she should be his, even if they were divorced, she would still be his.
But when she begged him to let her go, the pleading and pain in her eyes was so obvious that he couldn't pretend he didn't see it, because it was too obvious.
The cigarette ash fell and burned his palm. Ji Yanxing glanced at it indifferently.
He remembered that night when he blurted out "I love you". He was actually not sure whether his feelings for her were love.
He looked up the exact definition of the word online, but the definition online was rather vague and did not make him understand it clearly.
But it doesn't matter anymore. She said she no longer thinks about it, and he doesn't have to worry about the problems he can't understand.
Ji Yanxing put out his cigarette, opened the car door and got out.
Walking into the early spring night, the cold wind whistles in from all directions. It is a biting cold, so cold that makes people sober and familiar.
He looked at an old couple who were returning home together, and thought absentmindedly that perhaps, someone like him was destined not to receive long-term love from others.
The only person who loved him was also driven away by him.
Ji Yanxing lit another cigarette, the ashes fell away, the scarlet flame burned his fingertips, he threw it into the trash can, got up and went back to the car.
Just be alone. I’ve been alone for so many years. It’s no big deal.
She had only been with him for four years, just one tenth of the long forty years.
On the first morning, Yu Nian went to work. The moment she left the house, she saw Ji Yanxing leaning against the door waiting for her.
Somehow, the first thing she noticed was that he was wearing the same shirt from last night, with a few wrinkles at the collar, which made him look sexy and withered. Then she noticed the red bloodshot in his eyes, and the subtle tiredness and dejection between his eyebrows, as if he hadn't slept all night.
Ji Yanxing glanced at her. She looked in good spirits, with rosy lips and white teeth.
"I bought you some steamed dumplings." He handed the bag to her.
Yu Nian pursed her lips and didn't answer.
He chuckled, touched his tongue to her chin, grabbed her wrist, and forced the steamed bun into her hand.
Yu Nian frowned and was about to speak when he said indifferently, "As you wish, I won't come to see you again. I'm going back to Qinghe Bay."
Yu Nian was stunned for a moment and nodded softly.
Ji Yanxing calmly withdrew his gaze, without a trace of reluctance, and walked into the elevator.
-
After that day, Yu Nian's life returned to normal. She was busy at the law firm every day. Ms. He called her again and again to urge her about the progress of her new relationship. Yu Nian dealt with it perfunctorily, mainly because she was too busy at work during that period. She had scheduled all her work for this month in order to take her short vacation.
The only surprise was that Zhou Yang heard from someone that she was divorced and appeared in her life again.
It has been more than four years since we last met. He looks more mature than before, but he still has that cynical tone when he speaks. "I'm telling you the truth. It's been a while since you got divorced. If it were me, I could have dated ten or eight more people. You can start a new relationship now,"
Zhou Yang pulled up a chair and sat next to her desk, trying his best to persuade her, "I'm in good condition, and the best thing about me is——"
He kept it a secret, waiting for Yu Nian to ask more questions, but Yu Nian was still sorting out the evidence, so he had to take over himself: "I don't need you to be responsible."
Yu Nian turned her eyes to the side and gave him a look. Zhou Yang saw this and spoke even harder, "If you feel like it, just tease me for fun, just treat it as someone you're bored with, and everyone knows how bad I am, so no matter how you tease me or cheat on me, people will not only not judge you morally, but will say that I deserve it and you're enforcing justice."
Yu Nian: “…” Is there anyone who says this about himself?
"I'm telling you the truth, too."
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