She knew that Jiang Yiyu didn't want her to worry, but between husband and wife, they couldn't always report good news but not bad news...
Thinking of this, Song Shengsheng felt more and more aggrieved. Tears blurred her vision and fell on the open notebook paper, blurring the handwriting.
She sniffed, wiped away her tears with the back of her hand, and quickly took a tissue to wipe the notebook, but the more she wiped, the wider the area of the pen ink spread. Finally, it was all black, as if covered by a layer of fog, and the handwriting was completely blurred.
Song Shengsheng sighed, leaned back in her chair, looked at her notebook, and became dazed.
After more than ten minutes, there was a knock on the study door. She turned to look at the door, cleared her throat, and said, "Come in."
Jiang Yiyu walked in slowly, carrying the strawberry cake she hadn't finished. He sat down opposite her and pushed the cake towards her: "You'll be hungry after just two bites."
Song Shengsheng picked up the fork and poked the cake bit by bit.
Jiang Yiyu looked at her quietly, and after a while asked carefully, "Did you just cry?"
"Hmm." Song Shengsheng took a small piece of cake and put it into his mouth.
"I'm sorry. It was my fault."
"Um."
"Don't ignore me, I don't want to make you unhappy."
"Um."
"How about we get another tattoo together?"
Song Shengsheng shook her head: "No, I'm afraid of the pain."
"My dear, if you are really angry, you can scold me or hit me a few times. I am afraid of you being like this now."
"Scolding is too tiring. Hitting you is domestic violence, which is illegal. If I get too angry and you fight back, it won't be worth it."
"I won't fight back."
Song Shengsheng raised her red eyes and glanced at him: "I usually just talk tough, but in fact, I know in my heart that even if I learned Taekwondo and Sanda, I can't beat you. Whether in terms of strength or skill, I can't compare to you."
"Whisper..."
"I'm fine now. You don't have to try to comfort me. You've been busy all day and you're tired. Go take a shower and go to bed. I'll finish reading these papers and then go to bed. You don't have to wait for me."
"Dear, don't be like this." Jiang Yiyu stretched out his hand to hold hers, but she dodged it. Song Shengsheng clenched her palm and put her arm down from the table. She forced a smile: "I'm really fine, look, I'm smiling."
Jiang Yiyu silently withdrew his hand. He watched her nibble on the cake and twirled his fingers awkwardly. After a long pause, he said, "I just don't want you to leave anything on your body that you might regret..."
"Your traces?" Song Shengsheng continued. She put down her fork and looked at him. "But you're not me. How do you know I'll regret it? Or do you think I'll regret it because you regret it yourself?"
"No, you know that's not what I meant."
"So you feel that we may not be able to spend our whole lives together?"
“Not really.”
"So what are you thinking? Is it that marriage with me doesn't give you a sense of security? I've had a crush on you for so many years, and after we got together, I've done so many things for you, but none of them are enough to make you feel at ease. In the end, it all just moved me, right?"
"no……"
"Why is that? I can't understand. I clearly love you, care about you, and cherish you, but why can't you feel it? Jiang Yiyu, I was very happy today, and I've been very happy recently, but now, the more I think about it, the sadder I feel. When you wanted to find a sense of security from me, did you ever think that I also need a sense of security? I also feel insecure around you, do you... do you know that?"
She spoke softer and softer, tears welling up in her eyes again, and she finally broke down in tears.
Jiang Yiyu quickly stood up, walked around the table, and hugged her tightly in his arms, stroking her long hair: "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't do it well, dear, it hurts me when you cry."
"But I can't stop crying just to avoid making you feel sad. I'm really tired now. I don't know why I'm just so tired. Jiang Yiyu, is it possible that we are not suitable to be together at all?"
"You...what are you talking about?" Jiang Yiyu froze. He lowered his head and looked at Song Shengsheng: "Don't talk nonsense."
"But we always quarrel."
Jiang Yiyu was completely panicked. He hugged Song Shengsheng's arms tightly, his voice full of panic and tension, even a little choked: "In this world, there are no couples who don't quarrel. Quarrels are a way to get along. It will be fine after a while. Honey, there are some things you can't say casually."
"Will it be okay? Will it?"
"I will, I will, I will, please don't leave me." He added softly with some pleading: "Please."
Song Shengsheng sighed and buried her face in his chest. She listened to his flustered heartbeat, slowly closed her eyes, and murmured softly, "Please be more honest with me. I'm counting on you."
…
Because of this unpleasant incident, Jiang Yiyu held Song Shengsheng tightly all night long and refused to let go. Even when she wanted to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, he would stand at the door and wait for her.
Song Shengsheng didn't say much and just let him go.
The next morning, after breakfast, Jiang Yiyu asked her what her plans were for the day. Song Shengsheng took a sip of water and said, "Nothing much, just reading a few papers. What's wrong? What are your thoughts?"
Jiang Yiyu came out of the kitchen, untied the apron tied around his waist, hung it on the hook at the kitchen door, and said, "I want to take you somewhere."
"Where are you going?" Song Shengsheng smiled and said, "You're not hiding another Mingyuan, are you?"
Jiang Yiyu also laughed: "I do want to, but unfortunately, my mother didn't leave me so many things."
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