"Everyone makes mistakes. The most terrifying thing is not daring to face them. If she were still alive, she would owe Ning Kong an apology. The scientists and highly educated people you all think of are also mortals who make mistakes. It's not that anyone who gets involved with her wants to take advantage of her. It's not that someone with a bad reputation is involved with someone with a good reputation. It's not that the person with the bad reputation is taking advantage of someone else. Isn't reputation just your persona? If you create it on purpose, it will collapse sooner or later." Shang Ning drank more and more, and now her face was red.
Jin Yining neither denied nor denied her words, but instead sat back down and silently poured her a drink.
"The person is already dead, why bother investigating further?"
"The people are all dead, so who will spare the living?" Shang Ning took the wine glass, twirling it in her hand as she looked at Jin Yining. "Jin Yining, you're not an actress, are you?"
Jin Yining paused in pouring the wine, then looked up at Shang Ning. "I'm an actress."
They are acting out other people's lives, but what they are hiding is their own.
"You are indeed a good actor," Shang Ning said sarcastically, though after a few rounds of drinks she didn't even know who she was actually mocking.
Jin Yining looked at Shang Ning, who was slumped over the table opposite her, and nudged her shoulder. "Shang Ning?"
He spoke tentatively, his voice not loud.
"If it's not Shang Ning, then who is Shang Ning? It's not Shang Ning." Shang Ning waved wildly, trying to drive away the annoying voice in his ears.
Jin Yining went over and helped the person up, saying, "You're drunk."
"I'm not drunk." Shang Ning staggered and pushed the person away, her hand still waving in the air as she pointed at Jin Yining. "Old fox, old fox, stop trying to trap me. I'm not drunk, I'm not drunk."
Jin Yining was pushed away, but his hand was still ready to support the person at any time.
"Why exactly did you withdraw from the competition?" Jin Yining moved closer, but not too close, remaining within her safe zone. "Because of He Zhiyan, is that it?"
Why did you withdraw from the competition?
Congratulations?
Shang Ning seemed to realize something. Looking at the person in front of her, she suddenly pushed him away, her emotions collapsing. "Why does everyone have to ask this question? I have nothing to do with him, nothing to do with him. How many times do I have to say it before you believe me? I made a mistake, and I've been atoning for it ever since. I've been atoning for it all this time. What else can I do? You all still have a chance to apologize to her, but what about me? Who will forgive me? Who has the right to forgive me?"
She could forgive anyone on Ning Kong's behalf, but she had no right to forgive herself on Ning Kong's behalf.
She staggered backward step by step. She wanted to cry, but couldn't find a legitimate reason. The repression she had been under during this period was like a series of mountains pressing down on her, making it hard for her to breathe.
Shang Ning wanted to yell and scream, to let out the anger in her chest, but even in her hysteria, she still couldn't expel the mountain weighing on her.
"Shang Ning, what kind of bullshit scientist is she? She's a piece of scum, even worse than Jin Yining, no, just as bad as Jin Yining."
Shang Ning swore, cursing himself.
Her apologizing on behalf of Ning Kong was a form of self-redemption, but for the rest of her life, she would have to live with the torment of her conscience.
Perhaps this is her retribution.
Jin Yining wanted to go over and help her, wanted to hug her, but didn't dare to take a step forward.
Shang Ning bumped into the sofa, and in pain, squatted on the ground, refusing to let anyone approach.
The pain stimulated her nerves, and Jin Yining squatted down to help Shang Ning, stopping her from getting the wine, and said in a low voice, "Shang Ning, you've already done what you can for her."
Shang Ning looked up at Jin Yining, but her gaze remained unfocused. "She was pleading for help step by step. She wanted to leave that boundless darkness. She cried, she screamed, she cried out, but no one was willing to listen. No one really cared about her. The only straw she could grasp was you, so she lost control. She obsessively hurt Qin Wei. She was wrong, but what about me? She was afraid to show her true self to people, afraid to face them. And me, and me, because of those rumors, because I like you and Qin Wei, I personally, I personally pushed her into the abyss. It was me, it was me. Why should anyone respect me? Why?"
Jin Yining held her arm, which was trembling with excitement.
"You are her only light, she only wants to stay with you, that one ray of light, and I exposed her to everyone, just because of those unrealistic rumors, just because of those lies that are still rampant to this day..."
"Shang Ning." Jin Yining helped Shang Ning up and forced her to look into his eyes. "Shang Ning, if a person doesn't want to stand up, even if you give her the light, she won't be able to leave her own castle. The light in a person's life is not obtained by sacrificing others. This is not love, nor is it liking."
Aren't he and Ning Kong the same kind of people?
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