Chapter 45 Qin Jin's Background: I simply dared not disobey the Emperor's orders...
“Your uncle has a concubine’s daughter named Xi Fu, who is about your age. You can call her your cousin.”
The wisps of smoke rose from the gilded kylin incense burner, slowly drifting past the candlesticks and spreading to the solemn Buddha statue. Disturbed by the draft, the long lamp in the small shrine flickered and swayed.
Kneeling on the prayer mat before the offering table was Lady Zhao of the Marquis of Ding'an's residence, her figure as if she were barely clothed. She knelt upright, the years leaving indelible marks on her brows and eyes, her face a persistent paleness, still bearing a hint of haggardness and illness.
She calmly fiddled with a string of Buddhist prayer beads, her voice low and steady: "Xi Fu is beautiful, clever, and sensible. She has some knowledge of poetry and literature and is a reasonable young lady. She is also your uncle's biological daughter, so we know her well. If you are willing..."
"I don't want to."
Before Madam Zhao could finish speaking, Qin Jin refused without hesitation.
The soft tinkling of the prayer beads ceased, and Madam Zhao slowly opened her eyes, her thin, pale eyebrows furrowing in displeasure: "Why?"
Qin Jin stood by the window, the incense smoke filling the room making it hard for him to breathe. He raised his hand and pushed the window wider, letting the pale moonlight fall on his face: "There's no reason why. I don't need Madam Zhao to worry about my marriage."
The prayer beads rolled heavily in her palm, and Madam Zhao's breath hitched: "Although Xi Fu is a concubine's daughter, she is outstanding in every way, both in character and appearance. What is there to complain about? You should know that although you have the title of heir, which of the high-ranking families in Chang'an is unaware of your unruly nature? How could they be willing to marry their daughter off? If it weren't for your uncle's consideration for the past brother-sister relationship and his unwillingness to see you die alone and miserable, he would not have softened his heart and lowered his head."
She emphasized, "In my opinion, Xi Fu is a good match for you. Your uncle and I have been planning this all for your own good. Don't let a moment of anger ruin your life!"
Qin Jin remained calm and indifferent, seemingly unaware of these heart-wrenching words. He simply said, "It has nothing to do with whether one is a legitimate or illegitimate child, nor with character or appearance. As for the reputation for being unruly, I must thank Madam Zhao for her painstaking efforts."
Qin Jin's tone remained flat and even, but Madam Zhao suddenly stood up angrily: "You're still blaming me! Don't you think about it? The Empress Dowager has been pressuring you step by step all these years. If it weren't for your reputation as a spoiled brat, would she have allowed you to live until now?!"
"Now that your uncle intends to marry Xi Fu to you, if you marry her, you can also restore your old friendship with the Zhao family. Isn't that a win-win situation?"
"Good news?"
Qin Jin's usually calm face finally showed a slight change, his eyes revealing undisguised coldness: "What good could it be to be associated with the Zhao family?"
"Qin Jin!"
Madam Zhao flew into a rage: "You...you! Even if you despise the Zhao family and despise me, don't forget that your mother was once a daughter of the Zhao family! Zhao Dexing is my brother, isn't he your mother's brother too!?"
"Madam Zhao also said it was Zeng," Qin Jin said coldly. "Back then, when that incident happened, the Zhao family couldn't wait to remove my mother from the family register. So where would I get an uncle now?"
Madam Zhao's face turned pale and then red, and finally her shoulders slumped down weakly: "...That matter was so disgraceful, and with the Empress Dowager eyeing it covetously, the Zhao family was just trying to protect themselves."
"Dishonorable?" Qin Jin suddenly let out a light sneer, sneering at Madam Zhao's terrified and pleading gaze, "So Madam Zhao also knows it's dishonorable."
"My mother was originally the principal wife of the ninth prince of the late emperor. However, after the death of the ninth prince, she was plotted against by her own younger sister and forced to submit to the late emperor. She became a concubine kept by the late emperor outside the palace and gave birth to me. In the end, she died in depression."
"However, after the incident, her own sister pinned all the blame on her, causing her to bear the infamy and be restless even after her death. Her maternal family, who had benefited from her kindness for many years and relied on her to gain favor with the late emperor, completely disregarded their past relationship and used her remains to curry favor with the Empress Dowager, leaving her almost without a burial place after her death!"
The cold sound shook the water off the eaves, and two of the candles lit in the Buddhist hall suddenly went out. Two wisps of weak smoke were blown away by the lonely night wind and disappeared into the world in the blink of an eye.
Madam Zhao's face turned deathly pale. Overwhelmed by the thunderous barrage of words, she could barely breathe. Her body collapsed uncontrollably to the ground, tears streaming down her face. "He is the Emperor! He is the Emperor! I already had a child then. How could I dare disobey his orders and let my whole family die?!"
She lay on the ground in agony, no longer able to maintain her dignified and solemn demeanor: "I just... I just dared not disobey the Emperor's command!"
“After the incident, my elder sister has passed away. I still have to consider the living. Am I to confess everything and end up committing suicide?” Madam Zhao clutched her chest, tears streaming down her face like broken pearls. She cried until she was hoarse, and then she couldn’t help but ask, “Yes, I have failed your mother, but what about you!”
"Over the years, have I not protected you? Where did you get the title of heir apparent? Where did your life of luxury come from?"
"I'm sorry to your mother, but I've done right by you!"
Qin Jin watched coldly as Madam Zhao wailed and cried out, then suddenly spoke up: "The person who exposed this matter back then was my mother's personal maid. She kidnapped me and locked me up for several days."
Madam Zhao's cries visibly faltered, and a fleeting look crossed her face, as if she didn't understand why he had suddenly brought this up.
"She was already mentally unstable at that time and was being chased by the Imperial Guards. I got a lot from her without lifting a finger."
Madam Zhao's eyelids twitched violently, her heart clenched, and she stared blankly at Qin Jin, her fingers unconsciously tightening their grip on the prayer beads.
Qin Jin took out a letter and a jade pendant from his bosom: "This letter is entirely in Madam Zhao's handwriting, detailing in every word how the maid should evade the Imperial Guards' search, how to use the secret passage of your private residence to bring me out of Chang'an, and..."
Under Madam Zhao's trembling gaze, Qin Jin maintained a calm tone: "And kill me, then destroy the evidence."
Madam Zhao's sobs stopped completely. She wiped away the tears from the corners of her eyes, her expression turning cold almost instantly. After catching her breath, she said in a low voice, "You know everything."
“I was sent to the palace at a young age and was favored by the Empress Dowager, so I was raised under her care. You probably never expected that the Empress Dowager would like me so much back then, and even wanted to bypass the eldest son of the Marquis of Ding’an’s family and let me inherit the position of the heir of the Marquis of Ding’an’s family.”
"Yes," Madam Zhao said through gritted teeth, "After your mother passed away, the late emperor seemed to have forgotten about you as his son, and he also passed away not long after. At that time, the Empress Dowager supported the emperor to ascend the throne, and I sent you into the palace with good intentions, hoping that you would have a good future. But I never expected that you would actually be so promising."
With a light scoff, Madam Zhao's tone hardened, and her expression revealed resentment: "You actually gained the Empress Dowager's favor, and now you want to turn around and steal my son's future! What does the position of heir of the Marquis of Ding'an have to do with you? My son is still alive, why should you inherit the position of heir!"
"That maid was truly loyal to your mother. She played along with me for a long time, and I really thought she hated the late emperor and hated you, and was willing to risk the extermination of nine generations to kill you for me. I never imagined that she just wanted to tell you about your background."
"But she never considered that some things are better left buried deep underground. Once they are revealed, they will cause irreversible upheaval and change."
As Madam Zhao spoke, the corners of her mouth involuntarily curled up slightly, but in an instant she couldn't help but think of her son who had died on the battlefield, and her heart ached terribly. She clutched her chest and almost fainted.
Everything is predestined!
Her heart ached unbearably, and she wept silently for a long time. After a long while, she finally said in a low voice, "If you want to hate me, then hate me. Now there is nothing left for me to care about in this world. You have the Emperor's trust, so even if you want the Emperor to kill me, it is not impossible. After I die, I will personally go to your mother to beg for forgiveness."
"Or, after you have achieved great things and your true identity has been revealed, and you want me to bring up the matter from back then to help you obtain the title of Prince before you can tear me to pieces, I will do as you please."
Qin Jin looked down at her, his tone indifferent: "I will go and make achievements, but I don't need you to mention what happened back then."
Lady Zhao understood his implied meaning and was taken aback: "Don't you want your true identity to be revealed and you to be granted the title of Prince? You are the son of the late Emperor!"
"You are unforgivable for causing my mother's untimely death, but as you said, the late emperor was the real culprit. I will not expose my mother's wounds to the world in exchange for the so-called honor of a prince. I wouldn't have done so then, and I certainly won't do it now."
Madam Zhao stood there stunned, both by Qin Jin's bold words and his determination.
The current emperor is a magnanimous and sagacious ruler. After learning about Qin Jin's background after the incident, he spoke against his stepmother, the Empress Dowager, for the first time. He refused to execute Qin Jin and instead tried to save his life, intending to issue an edict to announce Qin Jin's identity to his subjects.
After a long stalemate, Qin Jin's life was spared thanks to a will left by the late emperor. Just as the emperor and empress dowager were arguing about whether to reveal Qin Jin's true identity, Qin Jin mustered his strength, knelt down and kowtowed, politely refusing the emperor's request.
At the time, Madam Zhao thought that Qin Jin was only forced to do it due to circumstances. She never expected that even now, after so many years of being harassed and tormented by the Empress Dowager's faction, Qin Jin still has not changed his mind.
It's getting windy outside.
The surging cold wind blew the pear blossoms off the branches, and as they fell, they drifted down into the dimly lit Buddhist hall, like a frost that never melts.
"I won't kill you as long as you don't cause any more trouble."
Qin Jin closed the window, didn't look at her again, and turned to leave: "Before my mother passed away, she also left a letter for that maid. In the letter, she instructed you that you were only forced by the emperor's power and had no choice but to accept it, so don't take your anger out on her."
"She...she actually knew..."
Madam Zhao looked at Qin Jin in astonishment.
Qin Jin said nothing more, strode out of the ancestral hall, his tall figure gradually disappearing into the night.
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Author's Note: In the next chapter, Xiaoyue will be coming to find Shizi again! [doge emoji]
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