Chapter 90 Relieved, they hugged each other tightly.
The Emperor's faction and the Empress Dowager's faction were on the verge of war, and the struggle was becoming increasingly fierce and brutal. Although it was unclear why the Empress Dowager regarded Qin Jin as a thorn in her side, after the imperial decree of marriage was issued, the Empress Dowager naturally wouldn't like her much.
Along the way, Xue Rongyue considered all sorts of ways the Empress Dowager might make things difficult for her, but she thought that with Princess Yu'an and the Empress present, the situation shouldn't be too embarrassing.
But she never expected that after being informed by the palace servants, she would see such a face in the palace.
A face that had been gradually blurring in her mind, almost forgotten, suddenly surged back like a tidal wave when her gaze swept over it, mercilessly engulfing Xue Rongyue.
"This child is so busy greeting us that he's forgotten who this lady is?"
With the doors and windows wide open, bright sunlight streamed in through the double-eaved golden tiles. Inside the magnificent Cining Palace, wisps of smoke rose from the bronze beast-shaped incense burner. Luminous pearls, official kiln porcelain, jade ruyi scepters, and vermilion pillars carved with dragons and phoenixes all highlighted the Empress Dowager's dignity and spoke of the imperial family's wealth.
The Empress Dowager, dressed in magnificent robes, sat high above in the main hall. Her snow-white hair was styled and adorned with gold and jade jewels. Though her face bore wrinkles, she showed no signs of decline and appeared instead radiant with energy. She pointed down at a woman who was both unfamiliar and familiar, and her smiling voice echoed throughout the palace.
With her eyes fixed on the lady, Xue Rongyue was overwhelmed with even stronger emotions after the initial shock. Her throat was dry and tight, and she couldn't utter a single word.
She couldn't help but take another step forward.
"Xiaoyue, look at this! The rag doll you wanted was sewn for you stitch by stitch by your mother."
“Our Xiaoyue is so beautiful, so this best piece of fabric should naturally be used to make dresses for her.”
"Why are you crying? Let me see who upset Xiaoyue. I'll have your brother help you get revenge."
“Your father is a stubborn man with a soft heart. How could he not love Xiaoyue? Come on, stop crying. Your mother will take you to fly a kite.”
"......"
The gentle, water-like woman in my memory brushed away the thin mist that obscured her image, making her appearance clearer and clearer, gradually merging with the lady in the hall whose face already showed fine wrinkles.
Xue Rongyue's eyes were red, and she opened her mouth, but the two unfamiliar yet familiar words stuck in her throat and she couldn't utter them—
"Mother."
Perhaps sensing something amiss, the girl following Cui tugged nervously at Cui's sleeve.
Suddenly tightening her lips, Xue Rongyue felt as if a bucket of cold water had been poured over her head in the freezing cold, instantly sobering her up.
She stopped in her tracks, only then belatedly realizing that the lady so close to her had her head bowed low, her fingers tightly clutching her handkerchief, her whole being radiating unease.
At that moment, Xue Rongyue couldn't describe the feeling in her heart. She felt the surging waves in her heart grow even deeper and larger, almost drowning her. She couldn't breathe and was about to suffocate.
At the same time, she calmed down completely. Under the Empress Dowager's gaze, and under the watchful eyes of several different people in the palace, she stepped forward, maintaining a distance that was neither too close nor too far from Cui, and bowed slightly: "Cui..."
Xue Rongyue took a deep breath: "Greetings, Madam Cui."
Upon hearing this, Cui could no longer contain herself. She looked up in astonishment, staring blankly at the figure of the young girl who had stirred her emotions ever since she stepped into the hall.
The little child who used to cling to her and follow behind her, calling her "Mother" in a soft voice, is now taller than her. The daughter who used to hug her legs and look up at her with her chubby face is now distant.
The embarrassing and helpless scene she had imagined did not occur. The girl was very clever and saw through her unease at a glance. She respectfully addressed her as "Madam Cui" and saved face for both of them.
But why did her heart ache even more?
Cui's eyes instantly reddened, as if she had been pierced by a thousand arrows. She almost lost her balance and took a step back.
This is her daughter, whom she carried for ten months and gave birth to; a piece of her own flesh!
She wanted to say something, but when she opened her mouth, she found herself at a loss for words, especially when she met her daughter's uneasy gaze behind her. She hastily closed her eyes.
Finally, she lowered her head heavily and said, "...May Lady Xue be well."
The Empress Dowager smiled kindly and said, "My child, have you really forgotten something? How could you call her Madam Cui? You're going to break her heart. Do you even know who she is?"
"Mother."
Sitting to the side, the pale-faced Empress suddenly spoke up, slowly bowing with the help of palace servants, saying, "When I left the palace, I was in such a hurry that I left behind the jade ruyi that I was going to give to Princess Yong'an. Since Princess Yong'an is here, why don't you ask her to go to my palace to get it?"
"What kind of important reward is it that Princess Yong'an has to go to collect it herself? Why not just have a palace servant make the trip?" The Empress Dowager, of course, saw through the Empress's intentions and said indifferently.
As the wind rushed in, the Empress coughed twice, covering her mouth, and said unhurriedly, "The marriage between Prince Qin and Lady Xue is a joyous occasion. I thought that to add to the celebration, we should not just prepare some ordinary things. There are some items that Lady Xue should personally go and choose, so as not to lose sight of the good intentions."
“In that case, Her Majesty the Empress is truly considerate; I am far inferior to her.” Before the Empress Dowager could speak, Princess Yu’an interjected, “Princess Yong’an, hurry up and express your gratitude; see how much Her Majesty the Empress dotes on you.”
Xue Rongyue bowed her head and knelt down to express her gratitude: "This humble woman kowtows to thank Your Majesty the Empress for your reward."
The Empress smiled gently and looked at her warmly: "Go."
Having said all that, even if the Empress Dowager wanted to keep Xue Rongyue, she couldn't say anything more. Her expression turned cold, and she slammed the steaming teacup in her hand onto the table in front of her.
Xue Rongyue lowered her head and left Cining Palace, then followed the palace servants assigned by the Empress to Fengwu Palace to receive her reward.
Once outside Fengwu Palace, she suddenly felt lost, unsure of where to go. Wandering aimlessly along the seemingly endless palace path, she felt as if a burning ember was lodged in her heart, making her restless and uneasy. She felt suffocated, yet utterly powerless to change it.
Jingnu, holding the reward, followed closely behind Xue Rongyue. Seeing her sad and dejected appearance, she felt very distressed. She wanted to speak several times but did not know how to comfort her, so she could only sigh silently.
Before they knew it, the two had walked into the Imperial Garden again. Hearing the faint sounds of laughter coming from the depths of the garden, Xue Rongyue's breath hitched, and she slowly stopped walking. Suddenly, she didn't want to go in anymore.
She turned and walked towards a deserted pavilion.
With her fingertips pressed against her slightly reddened eye sockets, before Xue Rongyue could even take a deep breath, a young man suddenly followed behind her. He wore an indigo brocade robe embroidered with bamboo and pearls. This young man was not old, but he was tall and straight, with fair skin, delicate features, and a spirited air about him.
He carefully followed Xue Rongyue's steps, his rosy lips trembling slightly. He glanced at Xue Rongyue's expression, seemingly deep in thought. Finally, under Xue Rongyue's impatient gaze, he suddenly stood up straight and asked in a low voice, "Madam Xue, are you in a bad mood?"
Xue Rongyue's cold gaze swept over him, recognizing who he was—
Yu Fan was the second son of the Minister of Rites.
I heard Jingnu mention it before, saying that this person seemed to admire her quite a bit.
Xue Rongyue was in a bad mood and didn't have time to pay attention to him. She frowned and scolded, "Don't follow me."
Yu Fan paused upon hearing Xue Rongyue's cold voice, then followed her again: "Madam Xue, I know why you're in a bad mood. I can help you."
Xue Rongyue suddenly looked at him and asked, word by word, "You knew?"
The chilling tone made Yu Fan involuntarily shrink back, but he still didn't back down, and continued step by step, "You and Prince Qin have been at odds for a long time, so I suppose you are determined not to marry him. If you are willing, I will ask my father to go to the Emperor..."
Before she could finish speaking, Xue Rongyue abruptly stopped, her already unpleasant expression turning cold as she stared intently at the old tree not far in front of her—
A man and a woman appeared behind the tree. The woman was wiping away tears with her head down. Although her face was not clearly visible, her clothing alone revealed her to be a noblewoman from Chang'an. The man stood with his back to the tree, his imposing figure and untamed aura making his identity instantly recognizable as Qin Jin.
Yu Fan was unsure whether to be happy or worried.
How come he bumped into the owner of the wall while trying to pry it open? But judging from this scene, Prince Qin is probably not innocent either. It seems that Lady Xue is not the only one who does not want this marriage to happen, but Prince Qin as well.
In that case, Prince Qin shouldn't blame him, right? Look at the young lady across from him, crying with tears streaming down her face; there must be some affection between them.
Thinking this, Yu Fangang was about to step forward and continue his efforts when Xue Rongyue suddenly took a step forward and continued walking.
She raised her chin slightly, her eyes fixed straight ahead, seemingly unaware of the two figures behind the old tree, showing no intention of giving way. She strode forward, her footsteps quickly alerting the man and woman beneath the tree.
The young woman, her face streaked with tears, suddenly turned pale as if struck by a sudden thought. She could no longer utter a single word as she tried to express her feelings. Her body trembled, and she quickly covered her face with a handkerchief and ran away.
Qin Jin was taken aback at first, and by the time he realized what was happening and wanted to go over, Xue Rongyue had already strode away with a cold face, followed by a sneaky, shifty-eyed little follower.
The little follower didn't dare to raise his head, following behind Xue Rongyue with his head down like a little dog. Xue Rongyue didn't drive him away. Looking at the little follower's guilty look, Qin Jin understood everything.
With a slight upward slant of his brow, Qin Jin crossed his arms and watched Xue Rongyue and her little follower disappear into the distance. A faint smile played on his thin lips, but his eyes remained devoid of emotion.
“Oh my, you two are really getting along well.” Ji Dian appeared out of nowhere and stood side by side with Qin Jin. “Xue Rongyue has only been back in Chang’an for a short time, and someone is already trying to steal her away. They can’t wait to do it in the palace, and they don’t even try to hide it.”
He looked at Qin Jin with schadenfreude: "You know what, there are quite a few young men in Chang'an who have their eyes on Xue Rongyue. I heard that when the imperial edict was issued, the taverns were suddenly filled with people drinking all night. I just heard the Liu family members gossiping together, saying that she attracts all sorts of suitors."
Actually, he said even harsher things, but he didn't dare to tell Qin Jin.
Qin Jin turned to the side, lifted his eyelids, and looked over with a cold gaze mixed with an emotion that Ji Dian couldn't understand: "Princess Yong'an is of noble birth, outstanding in appearance, exceptionally talented, skilled in both literature and martial arts, kind-hearted, honest, and upright in conduct..."
Qin Jin remained expressionless, uttering over a dozen words of praise without a single stumble or pause, leaving Ji Dian in awe. Finally, he concluded, "Who wouldn't be captivated by such an outstanding person? It's only natural that he has many admirers."
Ji Dian: "......"
Ji Dian: ""
Ji Dian understood what that emotion meant at that moment.
A familiar feeling of suffocation and speechlessness welled up in Ji Dian's heart. He felt a headache coming on and couldn't help but say, "...Wait, wait, wait. I won't say anything else, but how can you say the words 'kind-hearted' and 'upright in conduct'? Especially 'upright in conduct'. Do you know that she just fought two people in the Imperial Garden and made two members of the Liu family cry?"
Qin Jin: "Weren't those two the ones who started the rude remarks?"
Yes, but...
“There’s no ‘but.’ They were being rude and asking for trouble. Princess Yong’an was just being kind and accommodating.” Qin Jin looked down at Ji Dian’s hand with pity. “Forget it, I can’t talk to someone like you with ugly hands.”
Ji Dian: "???"
Ji Dian felt deeply humiliated and was furious.
Qin Jin ignored him and shook his head helplessly: "Let's go, go and help me point it out."
Ji Dian, still angry and confused, asked, "What do you mean?"
“I’ll point out who else is gossiping behind my back, and I’ll take pity on them and grant them their wish to die.”
Qin Jin strode forward, walking unhurriedly toward the place where the Liu family members were gathered.
"You still have the mind to worry about this? Xue Rongyue saw everything just now, and now a young man is showing her affection. Be careful that someone doesn't take her away with the flowerpot." Ji Dian pouted and muttered as she followed.
***
The Empress's health indeed improved significantly, much to the Emperor's delight. The imperial physicians received a flood of rewards, and the Empress Dowager, unusually, refrained from reprimanding them. As night fell, the grand celebration was filled with singing and dancing, a truly lively affair.
After the grand banquet ended, the carriage stopped in front of the Princess's residence. Seeing Xue Rongyue's dejected expression, which she could no longer bear, Princess Yu'an sighed helplessly.
After Cui remarried, she had a son and a daughter. Her younger daughter was betrothed to the Wang family in Chang'an. With the wedding date approaching, and because it was far from Chang'an, Cui accompanied her younger daughter back to their old house in Chang'an to make the wedding more convenient. However, this inevitably brought to mind that old story.
Verbal consolation was clearly ineffective at this point, and seeing the unconcealable exhaustion in Xue Rongyue's eyes, Princess Yu'an didn't say anything more and gently told her to go back to her room to rest.
He had intended to call her again the next day to comfort her, but to his surprise, Xue Rongyue had already disappeared by dawn the following day.
They didn't even bring Jingnu along.
She searched all the teahouses and restaurants she frequented, but still couldn't find her. Princess Yu'an sighed helplessly and looked at Jingnu, whose eyes were red with anxiety: "Think carefully again, where else could she have gone?"
This was the first time Xue Rongyue hadn't even brought her along. Jingnu wiped away her tears, feeling anxious, flustered, and wronged, but she couldn't think of anything else to do.
At the same moment, on Mount Qingheng.
Before dawn, heavy dewdrops weighed down the grass. The continuous mountain peaks were still shrouded in a somber, dark gray, and wisps of white mist seeped through the treetops and grass, obscuring the distant, rugged green mountains.
A mountain breeze swept through, carrying a hint of morning coolness. Xue Rongyue sat in a dilapidated pavilion, her legs bent, her chin resting on her knees, her gaze fixed on the lush, green grass in front of her, lost in thought.
Hearing footsteps behind her, she asked without turning her head, "How did you find this place?"
Qin Jin stopped, his eyes lowered, looking at her thin, stubborn back: "You said that when you were in Lin County."
In order to modify the plot concerning her brother, the original author not only altered the memories of the others, but also completely erased the traces of the Taoist temple on Qingheng Mountain. Xue Rongyue always liked to go to the Taoist temple on Qingheng Mountain to sit idly when she was upset, but today she only vaguely remembered this matter after climbing the mountain.
She intended to go down the mountain, but looking at the long and winding path, she suddenly felt weak and simply sat in the pavilion to wait for the sunrise.
Unfortunately, she was not a lucky person. The morning fog was too thick, enveloping everything in the world in a white mist. Not to mention the rising sun, she couldn't even see the flowers and plants in the distance.
She just hadn't expected that Qin Jin, whose memories had been altered in the original story, would still remember Qingheng Mountain after only mentioning it once in Lin County, and would come all the way here to find her. Even Jingnu probably wouldn't remember this place for a while.
Are you hungry?
Qin Jin placed a food box next to Xue Rongyue.
Xue Rongyue was indeed hungry. She hadn't eaten much since yesterday, and after climbing a mountain, she was already starving when she sat down. Her stomach growled several times.
The food box contained not only freshly baked and steaming cakes, but also a bowl of hot sweet porridge and several appetizers, all of which were Xue Rongyue's favorites. It was a mystery how he managed to bring up all this food without spilling a single drop, given the rugged and difficult mountain path.
Xue Rongyue held the bowl of sweet porridge, slightly stunned, her fingertips trembling almost imperceptibly.
Qin Jin was slightly surprised to see that she didn't move: "Is it not to your liking?"
Xue Rongyue snapped out of her daze, gently shook her head, and finally turned around to look at Qin Jin, her voice hoarse: "I heard that after the grand banquet last night, you beat up several young men from the Liu family?"
Xue Rongyue's almond-shaped eyes, which were usually bright and sparkling, were now red and swollen, with reddened corners and moist eyelashes, clearly indicating that she had been crying. Qin Jin's breath hitched slightly, and he lowered his eyes, pretending not to see, and replied, "I never hit anyone."
"Don't give me that." Xue Rongyue curled her lips. "Although those people didn't see clearly who hit them, I know without even thinking that it must have been you."
After a brief pause, Xue Rongyue said in a low voice, "The Empress Dowager already sees you as a thorn in her side, so why did you have to take action? What if you are blamed by the Empress Dowager for this?"
"The Empress Dowager doesn't have time to deal with me right now; those few people locked up in prison are what she should be worrying about."
Upon hearing this, Xue Rongyue was taken aback: "The people being escorted back are related to the Empress Dowager?"
Qin Jin sat down and said calmly, "Otherwise, they wouldn't dare to be so blatant."
Xue Rongyue's heart sank, but she couldn't help but ask, "Empress Dowager... what exactly do you want to do?"
The morning breeze whistled in from the pavilion, greedily sweeping away the water droplets pressed against the grass blades, and as it passed, the long wind carried a moist scent.
After a long silence, Qin Jin's cold voice rang out along with the sweeping wind: "Crown Prince Yi Ren's eldest son has grown up."
Crown Prince Yiren, the Empress Dowager's biological son, was made Crown Prince by the late Emperor at a young age due to his virtue and talent. Unfortunately, after the late Emperor passed away, Crown Prince Yiren died suddenly before ascending the throne, leaving behind only his eldest son, who was recently enfeoffed as Prince Xian by His Majesty.
Xue Rongyue understood immediately, and suddenly remembered the raccoon that had been framed against her. The answer was now obvious.
Only a handful of people could wield absolute power in the palace, and perhaps only these Prince Xian could command the Empress Dowager to cover for them.
A sense of impending doom hung over Xue Rongyue, making her already heavy heart even more uneasy. She took a deep breath, forcing herself not to think about these things for the time being, and lowered her head to drink the sweet porridge in her bowl.
Qin Jin didn't say anything more, but just quietly stayed with her, sitting beside her, casually picking a wild grass and playing with it in his hand.
Qin Jin didn't ask her why she came here or why her eyes were red and swollen, which relieved Xue Rongyue but also made her want to confide in him. She looked around and realized that there weren't many people left who would listen to her.
"Actually, I... I didn't want anything either. I understand her, really. It's just that for some reason, I still feel a little sad."
Xue Rongyue lowered her head and stirred the mushy sweet porridge in her bowl: "I have never blamed her. I know that many people do not believe me when I say this, but I really think so."
"Xue Xiude was a fierce and skilled general, but he was definitely not a good father or a good husband..." Suddenly remembering something, Xue Rongyue smiled self-deprecatingly, "Perhaps he was a good father, but it has nothing to do with me."
Qin Jin's brow twitched slightly, his thin lips pressed into a straight line, as if he wanted to say something, but Xue Rongyue had already changed the subject and continued: "He disliked my mother, but because of her background, he had no choice but to marry her, but after marrying her, he didn't treat her well."
“My mother was so gentle, virtuous, and understanding, but I watched helplessly as Xue Xiude drove her to become sharp and haggard. Xue Xiude even... even hit her.”
"Shut up, you poisonous woman!" With his two copper bell-like eyes wide open, Xue Xiude was like an enraged tiger, his dark face contorted in a ferocious expression, and suddenly slapped her.
Her head went blank for a moment, and she rushed over without thinking, but she was too weak to protect her mother.
Her brother was not at home, and the servants had already hidden far away. She clung tightly to Xue Xiude's leg, but he kicked her away in a fit of rage, sending her crashing heavily onto the table and chairs, unconscious.
Xue Rongyue closed her eyes, the despair of the past still lingering in her heart: "It's a good thing that Mother was able to get a divorce and escape from this hellhole. How could I not be happy? I would rather never see her again than have her live a painful life in the Xue family, unable to break free."
"I'm really happy she left, but I also... I might be, maybe I'm a little sad. I know I shouldn't, but I can't control myself. I know... how can I be sad, but I..."
Ripples spread across the bowl of sweet porridge. Xue Rongyue turned her face away, her delicate neck bending deeply. Her shoulders trembled uncontrollably, and pain, self-blame, and confusion weighed on her, making it hard for her to breathe.
"How could I possibly be sad..."
Qin Jin felt as if his heart was being squeezed tightly by a hand, and the pain made his brows furrow. He looked at Xue Rongyue, whose usually cold and indifferent eyes suddenly turned red. He had never seen Xue Rongyue like this before, so fragile that she was like a clay figure that no one dared to touch.
Qin Jin took a deep breath, suppressing the waves of pain surging in his heart. He forcefully pulled Xue Rongyue's trembling shoulders closer, his knuckles shaking as well. He said in a hoarse voice, "Of course you can be sad."
Her eyelashes, damp with tears, trembled. Xue Rongyue slowly raised her head, as if grasping at a lifeline. Her expression was blank, dazed, and urgent. She repeated, word by word, "...Of course I can be sad?"
"Of course you can be sad." Qin Jin's voice was even unsteady, trembling with strange inflections. But his tone was firm. Holding Xue Rongyue, he repeated patiently, "Of course you can be sad because of this, and you can hate Xue Xiude because of this, it's not your fault..."
"......"
Her lips trembled incessantly, and after her vision completely blurred, Xue Rongyue was unable to utter another word.
It was like being imprisoned in a cage for a long time and suddenly finding that the unshakable prison door had been opened, or like the huge rock pressing on her shoulders had been removed. Tears streamed down her face, and Xue Rongyue could no longer hold on. She buried her head on Qin Jin's shoulder, her pale fingertips gripping his clothes.
She had suffered and suppressed these feelings for so many years, never daring to say them aloud.
She was afraid to see the disappointment, contempt, and disdain in the eyes of those who were listening.
Your mother has finally escaped that hellhole. Shouldn't you be happy for her? Why are you sad? How could you be sad?!
Xue Xiude is your father. He is a great general who guards the frontier and has made great military achievements. Countless people have survived because of him. How can you resent him just because he was not good to you?
She was suppressed by those two sentences, numb, sensitive, and sharp, daring not to reveal even the slightest emotion in her heart.
But today, those two enormous stones that had been constantly weighing on her shoulders were finally removed. Someone embraced her battered and already fragile body, acknowledged her painful struggle, and told her, "You can be sad, you can be resentful."
This is not your fault.
Her crying was no longer careful, restrained, or suppressed.
***
With a long sigh, Bai Hemian withdrew his foot and looked at the two figures tightly embracing each other in the pavilion. His heart, which had been clenched with anxiety, slowly relaxed.
He loosened his clenched fist, took two steps back, turned around, and looked up at the rising sun, which seemed poised to burst forth.
Before anyone knew it, the lingering white mist was finally dispersed by the wind, and the towering distant mountains could no longer block the myriad golden rays that shone like sharp swords.
The sun rises in the east.
The sunset glowed brilliantly.
A cold snort escaped from his nose as Bai Hemian's gaze swept over the two tightly embracing figures once more, his heart filled with satisfaction yet tinged with a subtle dissatisfaction.
The boy who had once sneaked up to him, scratching his head, and tried to bribe him with a box of gold and silver jewelry seemed to reappear before his eyes: "Brother Huaijin, as the saying goes, 'Don't let the good stuff go to outsiders.' How about you betroth Xiaoyue to me when you grow up? I'll definitely treat her well!..."
Then?
Then, of course, he beat me up badly.
However, time flies, and years pass by. After many twists and turns and countless ups and downs, the two actually got engaged. It makes one wonder whether to sigh at the cruel twist of fate or... that their marriage was ordained by heaven.
-----------------------
A note from the author: Goodnight everyone.
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
