Chapter 16 The Tenth Day of the Main Body
Human emotions rarely exist in a solitary, one-way exchange. At least in my view, two-way communication is the more common and universal way of getting along in interpersonal relationships.
Therefore, it's not just Gojo Satoru who dreams about the past; it's also Egawa, a highly skilled sorcerer, who dreams about the past.
I also dream about the past from time to time, and even further back in time.
When I first left the college, I was trapped in a twisted state that I couldn't escape on many nights when no one was there to listen to me.
It's as if there are two Igawas, one crying out, "It hurts so much, it hurts so much, I'm in so much pain," and the other saying, "It's okay, it's okay, you're already lucky."
I know I will eventually be assimilated by the latter, but that doesn’t mean I will go through such a contradictory, splitting, and distorted process before that.
Because there is no result that can be reached without going through the process.
That was probably the period with the most complex dreams I've ever had; there haven't been any before that, and I doubt there will be any later.
I have dreamed of many things.
I dreamt of the palace, and I dreamt of the college.
I dreamt of Oikawa and Iwazumi waving goodbye to me when I left Miyagi, and I dreamt of Maki, whom I spotted at a Tokyo train station because she was wearing a vocational high school uniform.
I dreamt of bones, I dreamt of thorns.
I also dreamed about Teacher Gojo.
Of course, the largest number is myself.
I dreamt of Zhichuan, the best in Beichuan, and Zhichuan, who was highly skilled in sorcery.
Sometimes I can't even tell which one is the real me, and then I suddenly wake up in the middle of the night.
With a "click," the light switch by the bedside was pressed.
The moment the room lights came on, my mind became completely clear.
However, everything I mentioned above happened a long time ago.
Maki once said I'm stubborn, but I'm not obstinate.
So I stopped worrying about and distorting things a long time ago.
I know perfectly well that I am just an ordinary person who is slightly better than others, and that my talents are never unique or irreplaceable.
Just like in this world, in the world of sorcery, there can only be one Gojo Satoru, there can only be one Otsuku Yuta, but there can be many Egawa or the same.
I admit that I have irreversible regrets and sorrows regarding my goal of becoming a sorcerer, due to reasons beyond my control.
But I really have done everything within my power that is appropriate.
So I stopped dreaming about anything a long time ago.
It was only at certain unintentional moments, such as when I saw Sakura's eyes filled with incomprehension as she innocently questioned my decision to drop out of school.
I still can't help but think back to the past, to the helplessness and compromises I made back then.
Then, with a sigh, he uttered that sentence—
If given the choice, who wouldn't want to finish high school?
Actually, when I first chose to attend a vocational college, I didn't really think about becoming a sorcerer.
Both Oikawa and Iwazumi can attest to this.
At that time, Oikawa asked me, half-complainingly, "Ko, how did you end up in Tokyo like this?"
I replied half-jokingly, "Why don't you go and see the big cities?"
I forget how long after I came to the vocational high school, Maki suddenly asked me why I wanted to become a sorcerer.
I paused for half a second, then answered her question verbatim.
At that time, I didn't really believe much in the profession of sorcerer.
I have almost no outstanding talents in any particular area, and I don't know if that's why I've never been particularly passionate about anything.
Think about it, I've known Oikawa and Iwazumi for so long, and they've been volleyball fanatics playing volleyball around me for so many years, but I've never been too infected by their enthusiasm. I've always just watched quietly and never even touched them a few times.
So when I came to the Spellcasting Academy, I was prepared to treat spellcasters no differently than I would treat volleyballs.
Why did it turn out that way?
……well.
Speaking of this, I can't help but sigh.
The answer is actually quite simple.
—Because of Gojo Satoru.
Although it may sound a bit rash, it is indeed true.
I was genuinely blown away by how cool Gojo-sensei was when he exorcised the curse.
A more accurate description would be "stunning".
Unlike his usual carefree and jovial demeanor, it was a very peculiar feeling.
In that instant, I could almost hear the sound of my blood surging.
It's like standing before a cluster of mountains, and feeling a surge of awe in your heart.
That's outrageous.
This man is Gojo Satoru.
I've always known that Gojo Satoru played a crucial role in changing my attitude towards pyromancers. Without Gojo-sensei, my attitude towards the pyromancer profession would certainly not have been as serious as it became later.
Although all of this is now in the past, I will not regret my past choices and changes.
Teacher Gojo's place in my heart remains unshakable.
That was my dream, what a pity.
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