In the evening, after a busy day, I returned home. When I opened the door, the room was unusually quiet. Xixi, who usually came running over when she heard any noise, was nowhere to be seen. I couldn't help but feel a little confused.
I walked into the living room, looked at my mother who was watching TV on the sofa, and asked, "Mom, where is Xixi?"
The mother raised her head, a kind smile on her face, and said, "Let her aunt take her home to play."
When I heard that it was Xu Tong who was taking care of Xixi, I immediately felt relaxed. Xu Tong has always been cautious in doing things. I felt relieved to leave Xixi to her, so I didn't ask any more questions.
But before I turned around and went back to my room, my parents looked at each other tacitly and left me in the living room.
They sat side by side on the sofa, staring at me straight, as if they were interrogating me. My father spoke first, with a hint of severity in his tone: "Hongjun, tell us honestly, what is your relationship with this sister-in-law?"
I was a little caught off guard by this sudden question, but I quickly calmed down and explained, "She tutored me in English before, and she especially liked Xixi. It's just that simple."
After listening to me, my father slowly shook his head, and the expression on his face clearly showed that he did not believe what I said.
The mother sighed softly and said earnestly, "Hongjun, I'm not just guessing. I feel like this kid has other feelings for you. You should be more careful and don't be so confused."
I smiled helplessly and said, "Mom, don't let your imagination run wild. It's really not what you think it is."
The father frowned and said, "Hongjun, since you don't have that kind of feeling towards her, then don't bother to argue. Tell the family about your attitude as soon as possible and don't waste the girl's youth."
I knew in my heart that what my father said made sense, so I nodded solemnly and responded, "Okay, Dad, I understand. I'll go pick up Xixi right now and find a suitable opportunity to explain everything to her."
After going downstairs, I paced slowly in the neighborhood. The street lights made my shadow longer and shorter. The evening breeze blew gently, but it couldn't blow away the entanglement in my heart. I went back and forth for a few circles, thinking over and over in my mind how to start the conversation so as not to hurt Xu Tong but also to make my words clear. Every time I thought of a wording, I felt it was not appropriate. For a moment, I felt helpless and uneasy.
After thinking for a long time, I took a deep breath and went upstairs with slightly heavy steps. Standing in front of the door, I raised my hand, hesitated for a moment, and knocked on the door.
The door creaked open and Xu Tong appeared at the door. When she saw me, her eyes lit up instantly, a bright smile bloomed on her face, and her tone was full of surprise: "You're back!"
At this moment, Xixi heard my voice and ran out of the house like a happy little rabbit, shouting "Dad" loudly, and ran into my arms, hugging my neck tightly. The intimacy of her instantly melted my heart.
I changed into slippers, carried Xixi into the living room, sat down on the sofa, and looked towards Xu Tong. She was standing in front of the refrigerator. Her slender fingers skillfully opened the refrigerator door and took out a bottle of mineral water.
Then, she walked to my side with light steps, leaned over slightly, handed the water to me, with a faint smile on her lips, and said softly: "We don't have any good tea prepared at home, just mineral water, you can make do with it for now."
I freed one hand to take the water, my eyes met hers for a moment, then I gently put the water on the coffee table, took a deep breath, and said seriously: "Xu Tong, you sit down too, I have something in my heart that I want to talk to you about."
She seemed to be touched by my serious tone. A hint of nervousness and uneasiness flashed across her originally lively eyes, and her whole posture became a little unnatural. She bit her lower lip subconsciously, nodded slightly, and slowly sat down beside me, her voice trembling slightly: "Okay, go ahead, I'm listening."
I turned slightly to face her, and said sincerely, "During this period, I really want to thank you very much. Not only did you help me with English, but you also took good care of Xixi and shared so much of my burden. I will always remember your kindness."
Her body suddenly stiffened, and the smile on her face froze instantly. Then, as if using all her strength, she tried her best to drive away the disappointment on her face, and forced a smile that was uglier than crying. Her voice was a little hoarse: "I understand what you mean. You may be overthinking it. I just simply like Xixi. I really don't think much about anything else."
As soon as she finished speaking, she quickly lowered her head, as if she didn't dare to look me in the eye, her eyes fixed on her toes, her hair fell down, covering most of her face, making it impossible for me to see her expression clearly.
I went on to say, "You are a good woman. To be honest, when I was with you, I also had moments of excitement and imagined all kinds of possibilities with you. But now I am in an emotional dilemma, and I don't want to involve you, an outsider. To do so is neither reasonable nor fair to you. So, no matter whether you have had different thoughts about me before, I feel that I must speak these words in my heart frankly, which can also be regarded as giving you an explanation."
She raised her head, which had been lowered, suddenly with a hurried movement. She quickly used both hands to push the hair that had fallen off her cheeks behind her ears. There was a stubbornness and strength in her eyes. She met my gaze directly, and her voice was crisp and firm with unquestionable determination: "Sister, if you came here today just to say these, then there is no need to continue. I have never thought about that, and as for what you are thinking in your heart, I am not interested in knowing. I have always been myself, it was like this in the past, it is like this now, and it will be even more so in the future. It will not change because of anything or anything. Now, you should be relieved." After that, she raised her chin slightly, and her proud and stubborn look made me unable to bear to look at her.
Having said that, I feel uneasy all over, as if there are countless thorns on my back. Every second is like sitting on pins and needles, and I can no longer sit still for a moment.
I forced a smile and said with difficulty: "Thank you for your understanding, Xu Tong." My voice was full of helplessness and guilt.
I hugged Xixi tightly in my arms and walked towards the door. Just as I reached out to open the door, I heard hurried footsteps behind me. I turned around subconsciously and saw Xu Tong holding the bottle of mineral water tightly in her hand and chasing to the door with a complicated expression. She didn't say anything, but forcefully stuffed the bottle of mineral water into my hand with a bit of determination, and then she said coldly: "I have no interest in touching anything that others have touched."
Her voice was not loud, but it was like a heavy hammer, hitting my heart hard. I was stunned, and instantly understood the deep bitterness and stubbornness hidden behind her words.
As we enter September, the "autumn tiger" shows its wrath. Near noon, the weather becomes increasingly hot and unbearable, and the air is filled with a dry scent.
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