Looking at her red eyes, I finally sighed and hugged her trembling body in my arms. She twitched gently in my chest like a wounded cub.
I gently advised: "Xu Tong, don't be silly. We can't have this child right now. Can we wait until we have a chance in the future?"
"Hongjun, I'll be 33 after the Chinese New Year." She suddenly clutched my shirt, her voice trembling in the fabric, "A woman's childbearing age is only a few years, I can't wait any longer."
She suddenly raised her head and looked at me, tear marks all over her face and crystal drops of water hanging on her eyelashes. "This little life already has a heartbeat, how can I bear to let it go..."
I held her cold wrist and tried to calm her down: "What if you give birth to the baby? It won't have a name or status, what will happen to the child... Can you bear to let it become a child without a household registration? Besides, if your school finds out, they will ask you to terminate the pregnancy. It's too late, and it will be even more painful to have an abortion."
"I'll hide." Her eyes were stubborn and almost crazy. "I'll take a long vacation as soon as the winter vacation is over, find a place where no one knows me, and bring him back to the world safely."
I pulled her to sit down slowly, and the sofa made a slight creaking sound. Outside the window, snow had begun to fall again; the light cast a faint halo on her pale face.
Seeing that she was so stubborn that there was no room for compromise, I said helplessly: "If you don't want to give up this baby, then let's get married." I stroked the place where the wedding ring should be on her ring finger, "Open relationship, openly..."
"No. You are a member of the Standing Committee now. Once you get married, won't your political enemies find a way to punish you to death?" She lowered her head, her hair falling on her shoulders. "I can't help you, but at least I can't harm you..."
The snow outside the window fell on the glass. I looked at her stubborn profile and felt for the first time that this relationship, which I once thought I could control easily, was just like a boat with its rudder cut off in a rapid stream and quickly lost control.
Xu Tong's fingertips unconsciously stroked the buttons of my shirt, and the luster of mother-of-pearl flickered in the dim light.
I turned her shoulders and looked at the stubbornness in her eyes: "I can't just stand by and watch you alone..."
"This is the path I chose." She suddenly smiled, with a look of relief and desolation in her smile. The tip of her hair brushed my wrist like a feather. "Before I met you, I planned not to get married or have children in this life. Now God has given me this child, and I am complete." She buried her face in the crook of my neck, breathing hotly. "Hongjun, I can see that I can't hold your heart tightly for the rest of my life. I will grow old and nag. I can tie your body to you with a marriage certificate, but I can't tie your heart to you. But children..." Her voice choked up, "Children are a blood-related concern. With children, your heart will more or less stay with me."
I actually made her feel so insecure that she had already prepared to lose me. I asked: "When did you start to plan to have a child?"
Her eyelashes trembled violently: "I thought about it on the first day you were together. It was Xixi's birthday that day, and you drank..." She paused, as if she was recalling a secret moment, "I happened to be ovulating, and it felt like a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. You might forget to wear a raincoat, and the result..."
Memories surged like a tide. Thinking about it now, she had planned it long ago: "Is this the reason why Xu He came to live at home?"
Her face turned red instantly and she turned away, not daring to look at me. After a long while, 꺳 said in a voice as thin as a mosquito: "After the menstrual period is postponed, I am not sure... you have to... every day... I am afraid that moving too much will hurt the baby. It just so happens that my mother wants you to help Xu He find 꺲눒, so I will let him be a shield to save you from pestering me. I can't bear to refuse."
I suddenly discovered that this woman who I was with day and night actually had unpredictable thoughts.
The snow outside the window fell heavier and heavier, burying the whole world in the white silence.
This Spring Festival, I have been shrouded in a lingering haze and uneasiness, and every minute and every second is like sitting on pins and needles. I know very well that if this matter cannot be properly resolved, devastating consequences will surely await me, enough to push me into an abyss from which there is no return.
My anxiety and worry ultimately could not escape the keen insight of Lin Mushroom. When I went to her office to wish her a happy new year during the Spring Festival, she immediately noticed something was wrong with me. After repeated questioning, I weighed the pros and cons and finally decided to tell her the truth.
After hearing the whole story, Lin Xun looked solemn, his eyes full of surprise: "Guan Hongjun, I didn't expect you to be like this today. The Xu Tong you met this time is finally beyond your control."
I smiled bitterly and responded: "Now that things have come to this, please stop rubbing salt into my wounds."
Lin Xun did not stop there, and asked seriously: "If the matter is exposed, what will be the worst result?"
I said in a deep voice: "Dismissal, demotion, fines, these punishments are probably unavoidable."
Lin Xun's expression became increasingly serious: "No problem can be solved with money, but once you are dismissed or demoted, your political life will basically end, and your future career will be completely ruined."
I sighed and said, "There is really no other way. I can only accept the reality."
But she shook her head firmly and denied it: "You must not give up easily, because it is not worth it to ruin your future because of this setback." After that, she stared at me with a sharp gaze and smiled: "If the plot develops according to the film and television drama, shouldn't you consider getting rid of her next?"
Lin Xun's words were like a heavy hammer, which made my heart tremble. I involuntarily took a breath of cold air: "At this critical moment, don't make such dangerous jokes. How can you joke about matters involving human lives?"
She chuckled and shook her head, with a hint of sarcasm in her tone: "Since you don't have the means to destroy the flowers, you choose to provoke bees with poisonous stingers."
I stood up, my tone unable to hide my disappointment: "If there is no practical solution, then I will leave first."
Lin Xun raised his hand to signal me to sit down, his expression gradually turned serious: "Consider letting her immigrate. Send her abroad first, put the current crisis on hold, and then make long-term plans later."
I frowned, full of doubts: "I don't know much about the immigration process and costs. How much money will it cost?"
"You don't need to worry about the funding issue. The most urgent thing is to send the person out first." Lin Xun waved his hand decisively, and then began to analyze the immigration plan. "The first choice is the US EB-5 investment immigration, or Canada's IIP project, but these two projects have complicated processes and long cycles. Judging from the current situation, it may be too late. After all, she can't wait because of her pregnancy."
I pressed, “Are there any other suitable countries?”
"If you are looking for cost-effectiveness and speed, Greece is a good choice." She explained in an orderly manner, "As long as you purchase a property worth 250,000 euros, you can meet the immigration requirements."
I thought for a moment and responded, "I'll go back and discuss it with Xu Tong and listen to her opinions."
"We can't delay any longer. We must make a decision as soon as possible. Any hesitation will cause the situation to get completely out of control." Lin Xun's words were filled with an unquestionable sense of urgency. I nodded solemnly, knowing that there would be no room for negligence.
When I laid out Lin Xun's immigration plan in front of Xu Tong, she was like a cat whose tail had been stepped on. She immediately got angry: "You want me to go to a foreign country with an empty stomach where I don't know anyone? No way!"
I patiently coaxed her: "I will hire you a nanny who speaks English and make sure your daily life is properly arranged. Once the child is safely born, we will discuss the next step."
"I'm not going!" She pushed the teacup beside her away, and the cup made a harsh friction sound on the coffee table. "It's pitch black here, and there's no one to talk to. If you're not around, what will happen to my child and widow?"
The anxiety that had been pent up for many days suddenly burst out. I clenched my fists, digging my nails into my palms: "This is not okay, that is not okay. Why didn't you think about the consequences when you got into this mess? Since you don't want to solve it, then just bear the consequences yourself!"
The moment he slammed the door and walked out, the voice-controlled lights in the corridor lit up. I stood in the flickering light and shadow, listening to the suppressed sobs coming from behind me, but I no longer had the courage to look back.
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