I don't know whether it was the alcohol that paralyzed my nerves or the shock that stimulated my brain.
I began to walk unsteadily and my speech became slurred.
We missed the last train, and Lin Xun insisted on sending her driver to take Qingwan and me home.
It was a journey of more than 200 kilometers, and I slept the entire way.
The next morning I was still feeling dizzy, so I asked for a day off from work in town.
Qingwan made me a cup of honey water and coaxed me into drinking it.
I grabbed her hand and said willfully, "Don't go to work either. Just stay at home with me."
She couldn't tear it away, so she had to lie down with me obediently.
I fiddled with the buttons on her pajamas and asked her without any confidence, "Qingwan, what did I say to you on the way home yesterday?"
She said in a vigilant tone, "You just said it was worth the trip and then you fell asleep with your head tilted. Is there something you can't tell me?"
I avoided her aggressive gaze and began to struggle in my heart.
She leaned over and stared at me relentlessly, as if she was looking for some clues on my face.
I shouted in a strong voice: "Zhu Qingwan, you are going too far. I haven't done anything shameful."
She mocked me: "You have a long criminal record and a long history of bad deeds."
My neck stiffened and I argued, "I have a clear conscience!"
It was the first time I saw her acting coquettishly and arrogantly. She pinched my ears with her hands and forced me to tell the truth.
I was neither angry nor annoyed, I just hated myself for not letting her go to work.
I was in so much pain that I said, "Zhu Qingwan, you didn't imagine me to be so gentle and considerate. Look how I subdue you."
After saying that, he turned over and pressed on her, his hands wantonly caressing her sensitive parts.
She was stimulated by me and gasped for breath, but soon she became obedient and let me do whatever I wanted.
After the fight died down, she rested her head on my arm and asked me, "What irritated you so much that you didn't even go to work during the day?"
I smiled and replied, "Who asked you to torture me? I am fighting violence with violence."
She seemed to suddenly wake up from her trance, and she twisted my ear again, saying viciously: "Yes, I almost forgot. You haven't told the truth yet!"
I was devastated and fell back into the hole I had dug myself. The key point was that this time I didn't even have the money to fight violence with violence.
I begged for the truth.
After listening to my confession, she turned her back to me angrily.
Then I saw her body shaking. I thought she was sobbing.
I turned her over and found that she was trying to hold back her laughter.
I am neurasthenic and on the verge of mental breakdown. Women are really a strange species that is hard to describe!
She kissed me on the lips again and again, and then said with a clear conscience: "Guan Hongjun, I will save you if you are honest."
I said, "Why?"
She pursed her lips and said, "Zheng Shujuan called me last night. She told me who you and Zhang Xiaodong met and everything that happened yesterday."
I'm so angry that my teeth are itching. This Zhang Xiaodong is betraying his friends all the time.
But I pretended to be calm and said nonchalantly, "I didn't do anything wrong in the first place."
She said with disdain: "As the saying goes, lust is the root of all evil. We judge by deeds, not by heart. No one is perfect since ancient times. Facing your new and old loves, you didn't do anything yesterday, but it's hard to say what you were thinking in your heart."
I replied angrily, "If you want to accuse someone, you can always find a pretext. I, Guan Hongjun, stand upright and act uprightly, and will always stand the test of history."
After that, I covered my face with the quilt.
She snorted coldly and said, "I'll confiscate your tools. Maybe this is believable."
In the afternoon, she cooked a bowl of tomato and egg soup for me to sober up.
After dinner, I rubbed my temples and my mind became much clearer.
Qingwan said to me while she was cleaning up the dishes: "Hongjun, I want to teach piano to some kids when you're not at home. What do you think?"
I asked in confusion: "You still tutor children after work, isn't it hard for you?"
She wiped her hands with paper, sat down next to me, and explained, "It can relieve loneliness and collect some tuition fees at the same time. Isn't it great to have the best of both worlds?"
I was speechless. Every month, half of my salary was given to Zhang Fangfang and her son, and the other half was collected by Qingwan.
She always tells me how shameful it is for a grown man to be.
The entire family's expenses depend entirely on her income.
I felt a little ashamed when I thought about it, so I had no position to face her.
I said, "Okay, but make sure you don't overwork yourself."
She nodded understandingly.
Then he said to me mysteriously, "Actually, I am already very satisfied with my current life. I am not vain and I don't have high material demands. But now I have come across a place that needs money."
I asked puzzledly: "What difficulties have you encountered? Let's solve it together."
She took my hand, kissed me firmly and said, "I want to have a child of our own."
I understand what she means.
She went on to say, "I didn't go to meet my classmates yesterday, but went to the Provincial Women and Children's Hospital for a physical examination. The doctor said that I have endometriosis and the probability of natural pregnancy is low. The only way is to do IVF."
I said with concern, "That would be a lot of suffering, and I don't want you to go through this."
She leaned her head against my chest and whispered, "I can endure the physical pain, but I can't endure the psychological pain. Every time when it's late at night and I can't fall asleep, my urge to have a baby becomes stronger and stronger."
I stroked her hair and asked, "How much did the doctor say it would cost?"
She replied: "A conservative estimate is 80,000."
I nodded and said firmly, "Don't worry about the money, I'll make it up."
She suddenly raised her head, looked at me in horror, and said, "I won't let you take the black money!"