Fear was like an icy poisonous snake, lurking between me! A strong feeling of exhaustion rushed from the soles of my feet to the top of my head, and the strength of my limbs seemed to be drained away in an instant, and cold sweat dripped down my face.
Moral and ethical torture took a back seat at this moment. A colder and heavier reality weighed on me: Peng Xiaomin...it was actually...her first time! This realization suffocated me. Especially when I thought about how she did not accuse me angrily after the almost brutal violation, but showed a silent acceptance. This further confirmed a terrible fact - she was willing at that time!
It was this "voluntary" thing that made this sudden relationship bear a heavy burden! A responsibility that I was completely unable to bear and could not fulfill any promises! The Xu Tong incident still made me feel scared, and the past was still fresh in my memory. What if... What if I handled it improperly again this time, wouldn't it be like repeating the same mistakes and falling into a deeper quagmire? This thought made me shudder.
I couldn't stay in this room any longer! The desire to escape overwhelmed everything. I almost yelled, my voice trembling and eager, "Let's go!"
She was obviously shocked by my response, and there was a hint of confusion and hurt in her voice: "Where are you going?"
"Go home!" I answered firmly and without any doubt.
"But what about you..." She asked hesitantly, trying to understand my haste.
"You're meddling too much!" I interrupted her rudely. I lost my patience due to my irritability and panic, and said in a tone that was almost like a scolding, "Get up and get dressed right now! I'm going to check out, and you drive!"
She was hurt by my bad attitude, and she snorted in anger, shrinking back with obvious resistance: "I won't go! I... I'm not a good driver, and I've never driven at night! I'm scared!"
"Car"! This word hurt my nerves! Instantly ignited a prairie fire of regret - I should never have done that! I shouldn't have been so foolish as to give her that car! Without that car, how could she be here tonight? This damn car is simply the key to this nightmare!
However, what is the use of this belated regret? If regret can erase everything, how can there be the word "regret" in the world? Too many things seem to be manipulated by an invisible big hand, moving forward along the predetermined trajectory of fate, and have become my destined and unavoidable disaster. The cold and desperate feeling spread like a tide - this time, I am afraid that there is really no escape.
My finger was ineffective at this moment. She didn't get up as I told her, but turned over, leaving me with a cold back. "You've done it, and you regret it now?" Her voice was chilling, "You want me to get up? Look! Can I still wear this dress?"
Yes, none of her clothes were intact, as they were torn to pieces due to my uncontrolled impulse.
Looking at her slightly trembling shoulders and listening to her suppressed sobs, a feeling of sympathy suddenly rose up. What did she do wrong? After being raped by me, she still endured my cold words.
Love and affection sprouted from my heart, quietly passing through my fingertips. I gently traced on her smooth and tight back: Don't be angry, I was wrong.
I don't know if it was because she could decipher my handwriting, or because I tickled her with my fingertips, but she actually laughed.
Alas... she is still a child after all. Although her body is plump and mature, her ignorant mind clearly shows that she is still a girl who has not experienced much of the world.
I was so depressed that I could hardly breathe. I just wanted to escape from this depressing space immediately: "Wait for me here. I'll go buy you some clothes."
She still had her back to me and said in a muffled voice: "Do you... know what to buy?"
"I think I know." I calmed myself down. "You can't go out for the time being. I'll send you photos when I'm done. If there's anything missing or not working, tell me."
She suddenly turned around, a sly look flashed in her eyes, and she said shockingly: "No...you are waiting here? I will wear your clothes and go shopping."
I almost choked on my own saliva, not knowing whether to laugh or cry: "What a joke! Not to mention that you can't even hold up my clothes, even if you can wear them, do you want to be arrested and taken to the police station as a transvestite?"
She burst into a series of clear and crisp laughter like silver bells: "Come on, you are not much taller than me, I can do it! If the trouser legs are too long, just roll them up twice." She paused, with a bit of mischief and nostalgia, "When I was in the welfare home, I used to wear boys' clothes to hang around, and it was okay, right? If the sleeves are too long, just roll them up, no problem, really!"
She didn't even give me any chance to respond, she jumped off the bed like a frightened rabbit, bent down to pick up my wrinkled clothes from the board, and started to put them on without even looking at them.
"Wait!" I tried to stop him with a tight voice, "Why...why are you wearing outer pants directly?"
She stopped and glanced at me in confusion, her eyes clear and almost innocent: "What else? You tore my underwear. Could it be that--" She dragged out the ending tone, with a little mischief, "You want me to wear you?"
She choked me so much that my throat choked. I opened my mouth in vain, but couldn't squeeze out a single word.
She ignored me and put on my trousers neatly. The waistband of the trousers was loose and hung on my hips, and the trouser legs were long and dragged. She rolled them up skillfully, revealing her slender ankles. Then she put on my white shirt, which she put on like a battle robe, and the wide hem almost covered my thighs.
"Wearing long sleeves in the dog days of summer," she complained as she buttoned her shirt, "Aren't you afraid of getting prickly heat? I really don't know what you're thinking." As she spoke, she lifted her sleeves and sniffed at the tip of her nose, then frowned in disdain: "Wow, this smell of sweat... is so strong!"
I froze beside the bed, watching this vivid body being wrapped in loose, ill-fitting, and even sweaty men's clothes in an instant, presenting a grotesque, funny, and incongruous look. Her almost "innocent" and careless attitude, as well as her inherent eccentricity, were like a blunt knife, cutting off the last bit of my depression.
Looking at her nondescript appearance, I was actually amused by her heartless spirit and couldn't help but sneer.
Seeing me smile, she immediately became excited. She tapped one foot, put one hand on her waist, and with the other hand, she lifted her non-existent temples. She raised her chin and deliberately lowered her voice: "How is it? Isn't this young master handsome? If I wear this outfit, I'm afraid I can charm a lot of girls."
I suppressed my smile and deliberately glanced at her: "Looks good? Oh, aren't you afraid that wearing this will... rub your crotch?"
She rolled her eyes, and the deliberately suave look on her face instantly collapsed, and she pouted: "Tsk! Didn't you rub my body sore just now? Now you're pretending to lock me up. Okay, you take a rest, I'll be back soon." After saying that, she pretended to leave.
I was really impressed to see this girl, who had just experienced sex, tease me with such light yet sharp words.
"Wait," I called her, "Turn left from the hotel door and there's a Tesco store not far away. Let's go there to buy some." I pointed at her pants, "It seems there's still some cash in her pocket, about 1,800 yuan. Pick something good."
As soon as the words came out of his mouth, he remembered something: "Take the room card."
She shook her head: "No, I asked the front desk for one when I came here."
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