I followed her without saying a word to each other.
This was the first time I looked closely at her back. She was not very tall, but she looked very straight.
Perhaps it was the influence of her military father, but her steps were resolute and calm.
I followed her to the stands on one side of the playground.
She sat down.
I sat next to him, not too far away.
She turned her head to look at me, chuckled, and asked curiously whether I had replied to her letter.
I said no.
She pursed her lips and her expression darkened.
I quickly explained that I wanted to explain the math problem to her in person.
In the faint moonlight, I saw her big eyes flicker twice, and then there was no sound.
I thought she was angry, so I explained to her the solution to the problem from the beginning.
Before he could finish his sentence, she covered her ears with her hands, obviously not wanting to listen any more.
I was embarrassed and at a loss.
Seeing that I was silent, she put down her hands that were holding her ears and looked into the distance.
The starry sky was dim in the thin mist.
She said as if it was natural for her to say, "My grandmother passed away."
Her voice was full of sadness and sorrow.
I said, "Ah! How could this happen?"
She said: "My grandmother loved me the most. My mother and I lived with her until my father was promoted to company commander, and then our family was reunited."
At that time, I didn’t have any deep concept of death. I just felt that my grandmother must have taken great care of her and protected her very much, and her death must have been a heavy blow to her.
I looked at her sideways, thinking she would be sad and start crying.
But she seemed unusually calm, and told me, "I originally wanted to take my grandmother to my side after I grew old, so that she could grow old and take care of her. But this wish will never come true."
It is such a heart-wrenching sadness and helplessness for a child to want to support his parents but they are no longer around.
I was deeply moved by her emotions. My nose felt sore and tears started to flow down my cheeks as I sobbed.
She heard my voice, turned around and looked at me curiously, and asked me with concern why I was crying.
I said, "I am moved by your words."
She snorted disdainfully and said, "Grandma told me when I was a child that no matter what happens, don't cry. That's very boring."
Her words were straightforward and to the point, like a sharp sword piercing my heart. I was so ashamed that I wished I could find a crack in the ground to crawl into.
She felt that her words had hurt me a little, and immediately said tactfully: "I am used to speaking my mind, so I have no friends in school and no one is willing to talk to me. Of course, except you."
She could see me differently from others, and a warm current surged in my heart.
I said, "I can imagine that you are a transfer student, you are pretty and not gentle, so you will definitely be excluded."
She laughed and said, "Guan Hongjun, you are a smooth talker. Do you always say sweet words to girls?"
I swore on my finger: "On the conscience of the earth, I, Guan Hongjun, will only speak sweet words to He Yahui all my life, otherwise I will be struck by lightning!"
She laughed so hard that she was shaking with laughter.
At this moment, the phone rang, and she looked at me expectantly: "Would you like to skip class with me?"
I nodded and said it was nothing.
She looked at me happily, supported her chin with her palms, and rested her elbows on her knees.
She asked me if I read novels.
I said I watch it occasionally, but not often.
She said she secretly read a lot of works, including those by Jin Yong, Gu Long, and Liang Yusheng.
I said, aren't those all martial arts novels? Shouldn't girls read romance novels, such as those by Qiong Yao or Sham Kar-lun?
She chuckled and said, "How can a boy like you to read romance novels?"
I said that Jin Yong and Gu Long's novels also tell stories about men and women, such as Guo Jing and Huang Rong, Yang Guo and Xiao Longnu, Zhang Wuji and Zhao Min, Zhou Zhiruo, Wei Xiaobao and his seven wives.
She pouted with disdain and said that she liked Guo Jing and Yang Guo the best, and hated Zhang Wuji and Wei Xiaobao.
I asked why.
She said she hated men who were unfaithful and that she would definitely marry a loyal man in the future.
Several years later, Tang Xiaomei said that He Yahui was the most suitable woman for me. I once refuted her with He Yahui's words.
Tang Xiaomei said that He Yahui must have a way to control me and would not let me be as promiscuous as I am now and hook up with any woman.
I said that may not be the case.
Tang Xiaomei said that the first button of a shirt is very heavy. If it is buttoned incorrectly, the buttons behind it will also be crooked. He Yahui is the one who can button my first button correctly.
Life cannot be assumed, nor can it be repeated.
On the contrary, that night He Yahui and I chatted in the cold wind until the next evening study session.
I deeply felt her loneliness, her strength, her persistence, and her uniqueness.
She finally said, "Thank you, Guan Hongjun, you gave me a lot of courage."
I didn't understand what was going on at the time, let alone why she needed the courage.
Soon, her parents divorced.
Nowadays, going to the Civil Affairs Bureau to register in the morning and getting a divorce in the afternoon is no longer considered gossip.
But that year, the divorce of their parents was undoubtedly a shock and injury like the end of the world to their children.
I heard that the reason for the divorce was that He Yahui's mother was not very kind to her mother-in-law. When they lived together, she made her mother-in-law do heavy work even though she knew that she was in poor health. This was also the reason why He Yahui's grandmother passed away prematurely.
In 2005, I went to Shenzhen on a business trip, and the person who received me was Ren Pingsong, a classmate from Class 2, Grade 3.
Meeting an old friend in the hometown, after we had a lot of drinks, Ren Pingsong talked about He Yahui, and I learned that the real reason for her parents' divorce was that her father had an extramarital affair with a female military doctor in the army's health center.
Her mother went to the army and cried and made a fuss. The army gave her father a severe punishment, and the two eventually got divorced.
He Yahui chose to follow her father.
After returning to the hotel that night, thinking back to the two evening self-study sessions with He Yahui that I had chatted with in the cold wind, I vaguely understood the meaning of the "courage" she mentioned at the end of that night.
The courage she mentioned probably refers to the fact that I gave her some spiritual comfort when facing the breakdown of her parents' relationship, which gave her more courage to face it.
After He Yahui's parents divorced, her mother returned to her hometown in Hunan.
She herself had changed a lot, becoming more taciturn and no longer smiling.
She never gave me a chance to be alone with her again, but one time during a break, she stuffed a physics textbook into my hand under the pretext of returning the book.
There was a small note in the book, which read: Guan Hongjun, let's work hard together, see you in college!
I also put the note in my book and gave it back to her during the break.
There were two big words written on the note: Come on!
But before I stepped on the accelerator pedal and stepped on it fully, an accident happened.
I was suspended from school after a fight.
In the school's subsequent report, the fight was attributed to "jealousy."
This is the funniest school bulletin I have ever seen. It even blatantly pinned the crime of "jealousy" on the students.
To this day, I still feel uneasy.
Many years later, when my official position enabled me to have my name included in the alumni directory of my alma mater, the school sent me an invitation to attend the school anniversary event.
I threw the beautifully framed invitation onto my desk. The secretary looked at me in surprise, and I said coldly, "Shred it in a shredder."