The opponent in this fight was Zheng Tong. Ren Pingsong mentioned to me the deputy county magistrate's son.
That day, after dinner in the cafeteria, I was washing my lunch box by the sink.
Ren Pingsong came running to me breathlessly and told me that his classmate Zheng Tong and a few others were blocking me at the classroom door.
Ren Pingsong said: "This matter must be related to He Yahui. Zheng Tong is venting his anger on you because he failed to pursue her."
He grabbed my hand and earnestly advised me to find a place to hide first.
My nature is to force a cow to drink water.
Knowing that there is a tiger in the mountain, I still go there.
Looking back, I was so naive, superficial, impulsive and reckless at that time!
I left my lunch box and ran back to the classroom.
One is an arrogant and contemptuous official brother.
One is a fearless peasant son who would rather die than surrender.
The war was on the verge of breaking out. Even before the pre-war opening remarks of "Don't say I didn't warn you" were said, the two sides were already fighting each other.
Of course, I am alone in this challenge.
Even if there were people who shared the same hatred and wanted to help me, they would be deterred by Zheng Tong's background.
Their fists rained down on me, and soon my face and nose were swollen, my eyes were black, and my body was covered with bruises.
There was no way to retreat, no way to avoid, I suddenly roared like a mad lion, picked up a chair beside me, swung it in an arc of satisfaction and revenge, and smashed it firmly on Zheng Tong's forehead, and bright red blood gushed out immediately.
This was the first time in my life that I had ever won a fight, although it was a tragic victory in which I killed a thousand enemies but lost eight hundred of my own.
The price and consequences were even more tragic. I was expelled from school.
The reason was that Zheng Tong's family refused to accept compensation or apology, and their only request was to ask the school to expel me to relieve their hatred.
But what was the cause of the incident? Shouldn't it be that Zheng Tong failed to pursue He Yahui and vented his anger on me, thus picking on me?
But the school insisted that we were just jealous of each other, that Zheng Tong and I were equally guilty, and that our crimes were equal.
The result is that whoever suffers the most is always right.
There was a director named Li in the school's political and educational department. He was bald and short, and looked quite funny. His classmates secretly gave him a nickname - "Inspector Potato."
"Inspector Potato" sat in his office chair, wearing a pair of bottle-thick glasses, and threatened me with coaxing and deception: "Guan Hongjun, you are in big trouble this time. If I hadn't comforted Zheng Tong's family, you would have been sent to the police station by now."
I said contemptuously: "I am just defending myself. If it is for the truth, I would rather spend the rest of my life in jail!"
He opened his mouth, not knowing how to refute.
Because just two days ago, at the ideological and political report meeting, he quoted a revolutionary who vowed, "If it is for the truth, I would rather spend the rest of my life in prison."
In this case, I quoted the same words, which he saw as a blatant provocation. He was furious, his eyes flashed with ferocity, and he said to me fiercely: "After research by the school committee, it has been decided to expel you from school. I hope that you will abide by the rules and laws when you enter society and be a qualified citizen."
I replied righteously, "You can fire me, but I won't accept the charge of jealousy because it concerns my reputation."
He looked at me with a puzzled look, really not understanding how a powerless and poor student like me could have any "reputation" at all.
The conversation ended unpleasantly.
Seeing that I was not going to give in, these people called the village that night and came to my parents.
This is the greatest humiliation I have ever brought upon my family in the 17 years since I came into this world.
In order to get the school to withdraw the expulsion decision, my parents stayed downstairs at the principal's house for a whole day and night.
In order to let me have books to read, they both knelt in front of the principal and begged him to give me another chance to reform.
To this day, whenever I bring up the past, they always deny that they ever knelt down before the principal.
I understand that they don't want to leave a scar in my heart that will never heal.
I don't know if it was my parents who used humiliation to move heaven, earth, and the school.
The school rescinded its decision to expel me and instead decided to retain my student status but suspend my classes for one semester.
In September 1998, I had graduated from university and was going to work. By chance, I met my former homeroom teacher, Mr. Peng, in the park.
Talking about the past, he said that in order to prevent the school from expelling me, he once slammed the table in the principal's office.
With his altruistic, caring and compassionate character, I absolutely believe what he says.
He is considered to be "General Peng", who dares to be the voice of the world.
Teacher Peng also told me that it was the "potato detective" who tried hard to get me fired because he was looking for someone to transfer his wife's job. And I impulsively gave him the opportunity to show his goodwill to Deputy County Magistrate Zheng.
Teacher Peng said to me in the final summary that the person who really played a role was He Yahui, who begged her father to go to the school to find the school leader.
After so many years, I no longer have the desire to restore the whole story. I know that I have lost her forever.
If you ask me how much I lost during the semester when classes were suspended, the college entrance examination a year later gave me a bloody answer.
I only applied to a provincial engineering college.
Of course, this is a story for later.
During the semester when I was suspended from school, I learned my lesson and stayed at home to reflect on my mistakes and read by candlelight at night.
During the summer vacation, He Yahui took a bus for more than two hours from the county seat to the village where I lived.
Erpang, who ran errands for the village, once again acted as a messenger. He secretly told me that a very beautiful female classmate came to see me and was waiting in the village office.
I had no time to tidy my clothes or dress up, I couldn't wait to run to see her.
She had lost a lot of weight and looked very haggard. When she saw me, she forced a smile.
I followed her again and walked together to a small hill behind the village.
The two of us sat on the floor.
Listen to the chirping of birds in the valley and look at the lush forest on the hillside.
At one point, I had the bizarre idea of living with her and retreating to the mountains.
She said to me jokingly, "Guan Hongjun, why do you have such a scruffy beard? You look like an old man."
I chuckled and said that this was a way of showing one's determination by growing a beard.
She looked at me with lingering eyes, and I thought she also understood the pain of missing me for nearly half a year.
She said, "Guan Hongjun, I want to leave."
I smiled and said, "You're leaving right after you got here. Don't worry, you still have time to catch the last bus."
She knew I had misunderstood her meaning, and said sadly: "I want to go back to Hunan, my father wants to change his job, I want to go back to my hometown."
This was like a bolt from the blue, and I was speechless for a long time.
She smiled a little, but it was a forced smile, and asked me concernedly if I had made any progress in my studies.
I was in no mood to talk about this. I hung my head and fiddled with a small branch with my hands.
When she saw that I didn't answer, she knew I was sad.
She reached out and held my hand, and said in an encouraging tone: "Guan Hongjun, don't be defeated by difficulties. I believe you are the best."
Her hands were cold, a kind of cold that penetrated deep into my bones, but I felt a shock I had never felt before.
The sense of touch has memories, but these memories have never been awakened in the years that followed.
Looking back on this experience, my biggest regret is that I didn't express my feelings for her without reservation and clearly.
Let alone the word "love", we have never even said the word "like".
So I sometimes wonder, this kind of affection or liking for the opposite sex during adolescence is not considered love.
However, Tang Xiaomei told me that this was of course a kind of love, a hazy love, which was natural and unpretentious, like a thin veil, which was unreal but beautiful.
After I returned to school, I wrote several letters to the address she left, but all of them fell into the sea and there was no response.
We have lost contact since then.
Tang Xiaomei defined this love for me as: a first love that ended without a result.