I asked, "Mom, what's wrong?"
My mother-in-law wiped away the tears from her eyes and sighed, "Her temper is getting worse and worse. I stewed an old hen for her the other day, but she thought it was too bland. I advised her not to eat salty food during the confinement period, but she smashed the bowl."
I sighed softly, reached out and gently patted my mother-in-law's shoulder, trying to comfort her: "Mom, after a woman has given birth, her hormone levels fluctuate greatly, and her emotions are not easy to control. You just have to be patient, and when Xixi comes back, maybe she will feel better when she sees the child."
My mother-in-law nodded, looked at me with red eyes, and asked, "Hongjun, tell me the truth, Qingwan's illness... is there really no hope?"
I made a snoring gesture and said to her in a low voice, "I will definitely try my best. The most important thing now is that we don't show too much worry in front of her. She is very sensitive now, and any slight disturbance can affect her mood."
My mother-in-law nodded continuously, and her mood improved a lot after my comfort.
I gathered my thoughts and slowly opened the bedroom door.
Qingwan was lying on her side on the bed, facing inwards, and seemed to be completely unaware of my arrival. I fell asleep for her at first, and was about to leave when I heard her say faintly, "Ru, you don't even want to talk to me?"
I quickly closed the door and walked to the bed. She turned around when I heard the voice, her eyes swollen like ripe peaches, full of sorrow.
I leaned over and kissed her on the lips. Tears welled up in her eyes again and she said aggrievedly, "Hongjun, what's wrong with me? Why can't I control my temper?"
I held her waist tightly and comforted her gently: "It's normal to have postpartum anxiety. Don't take it to heart."
She raised her eyebrows, her eyes full of doubt: "Don't hide it from me, I'm not a fool. It's really uncomfortable to let me lie in bed all day and let my mind wander."
I smiled helplessly: "What are you thinking about?"
She kept asking, "Even if I had a premature birth due to shock, I wouldn't have to go to the provincial capital, right? Although cesarean section is an operation, I don't have to go to the ICU, right? Even if I really need to go to the ICU, I should be transferred to the obstetrics and gynecology department, but I am staying in the respiratory ward? Even if my condition is more serious than others, there shouldn't be so many people going to the hospital to see me, right? Tell me, are these all my imaginations?"
I knew very well that continuing to conceal the truth would only intensify her suspicion and anxiety. After all, she was a very smart woman, and groundless suspicion would only make her emotions even more out of control.
So, I took a deep breath and decided to tell her the truth: "Qingwan, I don't want to hide anything from you anymore. You have a very serious disease, which is also the reason why Xixi was born prematurely. But fortunately, you and your daughter are both safe now, which is a blessing."
Her eyes suddenly became tense and anxious: "What kind of disease is it?"
I slowly uttered the name: "Idiopathic pulmonary hypertension. If the condition worsens, it may lead to cardiopulmonary failure. But don't worry, there has been significant progress in treatment both at home and abroad, and it is not incurable. As long as you actively cooperate with the treatment and rest well, your body will gradually recover."
Her eyes dimmed, she bit her lips and pondered for a long time. Finally, she said quietly: "I felt that I had a serious disease, and it turned out to be true. I am not afraid of death, but I can't bear to leave you, and Xixi."
Before she finished speaking, tears welled up in her eyes like a flood. I hugged her tightly and comforted her, "Don't think so. We still have great hope. I still want to grow old together with you and watch Xixi get married together."
Unable to suppress her inner sorrow, she gradually began to sob.
I know that no words can soothe her pain at this moment.
So, I lowered my head and gently kissed the tears on her face. The moment my lips touched her tears, I tasted the salty taste.
If time could flow back, I would rather become a stranger to her and just pass by her in the vast crowd. In that way, my fate would not be intertwined with hers, and maybe she would have a happier and longer life without me.
But at this moment, my heart seems to have been broken into powder, and the sound of my heart breaking can clearly be heard in my ears.
She suddenly stopped crying, her expression became nervous and excited, and she said anxiously, "It's out!"
I was startled by her inexplicable and sudden words, and I was confused for a moment: "What came out? What did you see?"
She blushed with shame and said shyly, "It's been swollen for two days, and it's finally out."
It suddenly dawned on me that her breast milk had finally come in. It had been almost twenty days since Xixi was born, and her breast milk was late.
I was at a loss for a moment and asked anxiously, "Oh no, I forgot to buy a breast pump in advance, what should I do?"
She was in tears just now, but now she burst into laughter and said, "You idiot, can't you use your mouth to suck it out for me?"
In a hurry, I could not care about much else, so I had to gently open her front and lower my head.
I stood on the balcony, letting the biting cold wind blow me, my mood like the branches of the phoenix tree tangled in the wind, chaotic and disorganized.
I lit a cigarette, trying to use the lingering smoke to suppress the surging sadness in my heart.
At this moment, the phone rang. I glanced at the caller ID and saw that it was Yang Ruining.
I pressed the connect button without hesitation.
On the other end of the phone, her voice was still cold and direct: "How is she now?" Without any greetings or politeness, she went straight to the point.
I said in a deep voice, "She is not in a serious physical condition, but her mental state is not good and her emotions are easily out of control. I have already told her the truth."
She said coldly: "She has the right to know about her own condition, and no excuse can deprive her of her right to know."
There was a hint of displeasure in my tone: "If you called just to lecture me, then forget it. I don't have the time and mood to do that now."
There was a hint of sarcasm in her tone: "Are you busy? I guess you are hiding in a corner right now, come and numb yourself with Nico."
My heart tightened, as if I saw her sharp almond eyes staring at me coldly. I said stiffly, "If there is nothing else, I will hang up."
There was a hint of threat in her words: "Go ahead and hang up. If you dare to hang up, I guarantee you will regret it for the rest of your life."
I……
She continued, "My senior is conducting a clinical trial of a targeted drug for this disease at a well-known hospital in Beijing. Are you interested?"