Qingwan's life was forever frozen at the age of thirty.
Even though I was drowned in sobs all around me, I didn't shed a single tear.
I hugged her gradually cooling body tightly, and my heart seemed to be hollowed out, leaving only a blank space.
My family and friends gathered around me, urging me to face reality and take care of Qingwan's funeral, but I seemed to be in another world and turned a deaf ear to their words.
I don’t know how long it was before I slowly put Qingwan back on the bed. She was lying there peacefully, as if she was in a deep dream, with that extremely gentle smile on her lips.
I said softly, "Qingwan likes cleanliness all her life. You all go out. I want to wash her body."
Everyone in the family left the room, leaving only Qingwan and I, our cold bodies.
I walked into the bathroom, carefully adjusted the water temperature until it was just right, and then returned to the bedroom with the water.
I gently took off her clothes, and every inch of her skin exposed felt like a knife cutting my heart.
I picked up the warm wet towel and whispered to Qingwan as usual: "The water is not cold. I know you are most afraid of the cold."
While wiping her body, the past between Qingwan and I replayed in my mind like a movie. Those sweet and passionate times, every inch of her skin was deeply imprinted in my memory.
I wiped it for her carefully, not daring to be negligent in the slightest for fear of missing any corner.
In the funeral home's farewell hall, Qingwan's body lay quietly among the flowers and cypresses, as if she had just fallen into a long and gentle dream, her face peaceful and tranquil.
In accordance with her last wish, I specially picked out her favorite milky white dress and wrapped her in it. The beautician dressed her up to perfection, with a faint blush on her cheeks, like the warmth of life, and a touch of lipstick on her lips, like the first rose blooming in the morning light, making everything look more lifelike, but also heartbreaking.
Xiaomei and Ningyu were dressed in mourning, with tears in their eyes and haggard faces. Their sorrow was like an invisible chain, tightly entangling everyone present.
The ceremony was about to end, and I slowly walked through the sea of flowers that symbolized life and farewell, toward Qingwan. Wang Yanshu whispered in my ear, "Hongjun, remember, don't shed tears on her."
I nodded heavily, my throat seemed to be strangled by an invisible hand, unable to make any sound. I bent down, and with the most gentle movements, I kissed Qingwan's cold lips. It was a farewell, but also a promise of eternity.
At that moment, the crying of my relatives and friends behind me came like a tide, tearing every inch of the air and tearing my heart.
When Qingwan's body was slowly sent to the crematorium, I stared at her, my eyes full of reluctance and determination. I said, "Qingwan, don't be afraid, wait for me there. When I raise Xixi, I will reunite with you there."
In the cemetery, I picked out a quiet two-person grave for her, surrounded by green trees and dappled with sunlight, as if it was a peaceful place specially reserved for her by nature.
I buried her here, and I reserved the remaining space for myself. When I am a hundred years old, I will sleep together with the love of my life.
Not long after Qingwan passed away, I found the DV that carried countless memories when I was sorting out her belongings.
I took my phone to the balcony. It was drizzling in the sky. The hot and humid air blew on my face, adding a hint of melancholy for no reason.
I lit a cigarette and took a deep breath. The smoke rolled into my throat, and the spicy and slightly bitter taste stimulated my numb nerves.
I slowly turned on the DV, the screen lit up, and warm scenes from the past flashed before my eyes. Qingwan's smile was still as bright as ever.
When I saw the last frame and was about to turn off the machine, the image of her in the bedroom of her new home suddenly appeared on the screen.
She leaned against the bed, endured the pain, and said in a weak voice: "Dear husband, maybe when you see these clips, I will have gone to another world. I hope you will not be sad, because the days with you are the happiest and most joyful years of my life. You gave me all your love and a beloved daughter. I have no regrets. If there is anything left in this world, it is that I can no longer be in the arms of my father and mother and fulfill my filial duty..."
At this point, she was choked up and couldn't speak. She tried her best to calm herself down and then said, "Then I can't watch our daughter grow up. So I plan to record ten birthday wishes, starting from her first birthday. On each of Xixi's birthdays, you show the corresponding video to Xixi. Can you help me realize it?"
Husband, if there is an afterlife, I hope to meet you again, and we can ask each other "How are you? My love..."
Seeing this, my eyes were blurred by the tears. I finally couldn't hold back and cried out at the top of my lungs.
In the bitter wind and rain, I let my tears flow freely. I had no time to care about the looks of others. I opened my throat and shouted hysterically to the gloomy and dark sky: "Ah...ah...ah...! How are you? My love."
Several years later, on a Qingming Festival, the sky was drizzling, and Tang Xiaomei and I stood quietly in front of Qingwan's tomb. I gently placed a bunch of pure white lilies in front of her tombstone, then turned on my phone, and the song "June Boat Song" slowly flowed, with a touch of sadness and endless longing in the melody.
Tang Xiaomei said softly: "Mother Zhu is your beloved who will be separated from you forever."
I said nothing, just stood there quietly, letting the deep longing penetrate into every inch of my skin, like a drizzle, silently, and into the bottom of my heart.
At that moment, I seemed to be able to hear Qingwan's whispers in the distance, and feel her tenderness and companionship. Even though we are separated by heaven and earth, that love is still as warm as ever.
In August, my father and I had a long talk. He said Qingwan had passed away, and he was not used to the life in the city, so he decided to return to his old house in the countryside, leaving my mother to help Sister Pang take care of Xixi.
Although I tried my best to keep him, my stubborn father was as firm as a rock and could not be shaken. Before leaving, he repeatedly told me to visit my parents-in-law often and do my filial duty for Qingwan. I promised him that I would do so.
I sent my mother back to the countryside, carefully selected some seasonal seafood, brought two bottles of good wine, and went to my parents-in-law's house.
I cooked a few dishes myself, and then raised my glasses with Yue-xiao. Yue-xiao wanted to say something, but before she could say anything, she burst into tears.
I couldn't hold back and burst into tears too.
Finally, my mother-in-law advised me to sell the old house that Qingwan and I had, to pay off the debts that Qingwan owed during her treatment. I said, "There's no rush now, let's keep it. I can go and visit it when I'm free, so it can be a reminder."
After hearing what I said, they no longer insisted and couldn't help shedding tears.
After the renovation of the development zone management committee office building was completed, all staff moved in smoothly. My office happened to be next to Wang Yanshu's office, which provided great convenience for our frequent communication.
Whether we were discussing work in depth or expressing our nostalgia for Qingwan, we always found common ground.
As half of the year has already passed and the development zone's investment promotion work has not seen significant improvement, we are both deeply anxious.
One day, I suggested, "Remember the Xiaocheng Steel Structure project? County Governor Chang personally took part in it. If we put it on hold, it would undoubtedly damage his reputation. Why don't we go there again and see if there is any chance of a turnaround?"
Wang Yanshu smiled and said, "If we go there again, it will be like 'visiting the thatched cottage three times'. But, where do you think the problem lies?"
I thought for a moment and replied, "From what I have observed, General Xiao Lin is very willing to cooperate. I guess the problem may still lie with General Lao Lin."
She nodded in agreement and made a further suggestion: "Why don't you have another in-depth private communication with General Xiao Lin to find out what General Lao Lin really cares about. Only in this way can we target the problem and prescribe the right medicine."