On the way back, I listened to Jay Chou's "Nocturne" with the melodious melody from the car CD, and a faint sadness rose in my heart. Just like drinking to drown your sorrows only makes you more sorrowful, I suddenly realized that I was trying to numb the emptiness in my heart with that passion. However, after the passion, what was left was a deeper loneliness.
During the time I spent with Yang Ruining, we might have pursued the momentary joy together, or the secret excitement and heartbeat behind the affair had once intoxicated me and made me unable to extricate myself. But apart from these brief intersections, there was an insurmountable gap between our life trajectories, values, and personalities. This is both a cruel reality and a helpless portrayal.
I decided not to dwell on her too much. After all, in life, many people are just passers-by who pass by in a hurry. There is no need to invest too much emotion in them, nor to feel sorry for them.
I thought that such rational cognition would allow me to quickly get over this past event, but the reality was not the case. During my spare time at work, her face would always appear before my eyes, sometimes cold as ice, sometimes like a spring breeze, sometimes like a fiery passion, making it impossible for me to let go of her suddenly.
It turns out that truly forgetting an experience is not an easy thing.
Lin Xun called me and told me excitedly that she would come to my place soon. In order to celebrate Xixi's first birthday, she asked Liu Yun to make a series of preparations and told me to go to Yincai Jixian that day.
I tried to persuade her that there was no need to make such a big fuss about a child's birthday and that a simple ceremony at home would be fine. But she was very adamant that the child's first birthday was of great significance and insisted on holding the "Zhuazhou" ceremony, which must not be treated carelessly.
As she spoke, there was a hint of sadness in her tone, "This motherless child is different. If Qingwan were still here, she wouldn't just deal with it like you do."
I kept silent because I found that Lin Xun was nagging more and more recently, and I couldn't help but worry that she had entered menopause early. Thinking of this, I couldn't help but feel a little sympathetic towards her, so I said, "Okay, you can arrange it. After all, you are Xixi's godmother, and you still have to fulfill your responsibilities."
As soon as she said this, her mood immediately improved, "That's right! I am not only Xixi's godmother, I am also her mother." When I heard this, I didn't know how to respond and had to remain silent again.
On the day Xixi was born, white snowflakes floated down from the sky, dancing in the air like elves, dressing the whole world in silver.
The Yincai Jixian was very lively with many people coming. This was all carefully organized and arranged by Lin Mushroom. Of course, there were also many relatives and friends who came on their own initiative after knowing about Xixi's birth.
Cui Yingying was busy with her digital camera in her hand, moving back and forth among the crowd, capturing every warm and beautiful moment. I looked at Xixi who was beginning to take her first steps, and silently said to Qingwan in the distance: "Our daughter has begun to take the first step in her life."
At the ceremony, a variety of items filled the table. Under everyone's gaze, Xixi stretched out her hands without hesitation and picked up a small music box. Xiaomei, who was clapping happily on the side, shouted excitedly: "Sister will definitely be a musician when she grows up!"
This may be a coincidence, but at that moment, I seemed to feel that Qingwan's musical talent was really flowing in Xixi's blood.
The crowd applauded and cheered for Xixi. The atmosphere was warm and enthusiastic.
Liu Yun followed my prior arrangement and turned on the TV to play the video that Qingwan had recorded for Xixi's first birthday. The familiar scene and the gentle voice moved everyone present.