After asking for leave from the school, I took advantage of the thin twilight in the sky and hurried to Yang Ruining's apartment.
The door opened, and the girl in front of me no longer had the bright and beautiful look she used to have. His face was full of haggardness, and his worried expression was like the gloom of late autumn. The brilliance that once flickered in his eyes was completely extinguished like a burnt-out candle. As soon as I sat down on the sofa, she spoke softly, with a hint of fatigue and determination in her voice: "Yu Zhiming and I are divorced."
Hearing this, I looked at her in surprise. I was speechless for a moment and didn't know how to respond. I could only stare at her blankly.
She raised her head slightly, as if to recover her emotions, and said slowly: "Over the years, you have been dragging your feet and not divorcing me, just because your parents strongly opposed it. This time, you used my extramarital affair as an excuse, and your parents finally relented."
I stared at her closely, with a hint of surprise and a desire for confirmation in my tone, and asked, "So, you admit that you cheated on me during your marriage?"
She met my gaze with an open look, without the slightest evasion, and said calmly and firmly: "It's the truth, why should I deny it?"
I was so concerned that I couldn't help asking, "Did your parents humiliate you?"
She pulled the corners of her mouth and revealed a miserable smile: "I don't care about those things anymore. That family has long been dead in name only for me. If it happens, it can be considered a complete relief."
I thought about it for a moment and tentatively asked, "You should care about your son the most, right?"
She shook her head lightly and said in a calm tone, "It's not like I care that much. My grandparents took good care of me, and I was too busy at work, so it was inconvenient to take the children with me. I left the children to you, and I left the house with nothing."
I was confused and asked, "Then what do you care about? You should be happy now, right?"
She looked straight at me, with a complex emotion flashing in her eyes: "Don't you really know what I care about? When did you and Lin Xun start?"
I took a deep breath and told the truth: "In the spring of 2002, after she learned about Yu Zhiming's gambling, she was at her most vulnerable."
Hearing this, she snorted coldly: "Are you taking advantage of someone's misfortune, or are you trying to help him?"
I sighed helplessly, my voice full of emotion: "It's hard to explain clearly, maybe everything just happened naturally."
When she heard the words "a natural outcome", her emotions instantly surged, a hint of resentment flashed across her eyes, and she raised her voice a few notches and asked, "A natural outcome? In your eyes, all the women you are involved with have such a natural development, right? You were with her, but you couldn't even inform me? You had to make me go through the embarrassment of that day, and do you feel satisfied?"
I looked guilty, lowered my head slightly, and said sincerely: "I really didn't handle this matter properly. Although we have never made a clear commitment between us, I am willing to take responsibility. If you have any request, even if it is to get married, I will..."
Before I finished speaking, she interrupted me abruptly, her eyes full of disdain, and said coldly: "Guan Hongjun, you are really self-indulgent! You broke up with Lin Xun, and you want to be with me to achieve a seamless connection, right? You have made a wrong calculation. I, Yang Ruining, am not the kind of woman who lets you order me around. Even if I want to find a new man, I will never choose someone like you who changes his mind every day."
I was full of doubts and asked subconsciously: "How do you know that Lin Xun and I broke up?"
She took a deep breath and spoke slowly: "I talked to her on the phone for a long time this afternoon."
In an instant, everything became clear to me. Looking back on the past, my actions were undoubtedly like sharp blades that deeply hurt these two women who once treated me sincerely.
Her eyes gradually dimmed, and her voice was full of vicissitudes and helplessness: "I have only married one man in my life, and the fact has proved that I have lost completely and have nothing. I have only loved one man in my life, but the reality cruelly told me that I have wronged him again..." Before she finished speaking, her throat seemed to be choked by something, and she could no longer suppress the grief in her heart. Tears burst out of her eyes and she sobbed.
I was filled with guilt, my eyes were red, and my voice was trembling slightly: "I'm sorry, I hurt you deeply."
She tried to hold back her tears and calmly said, "You don't owe me anything. We don't owe each other anything. I just hope that we can be well in the future. Go now."
I stood up slowly and walked towards the entrance with heavy steps. At the moment when I was about to step out of the room, she suddenly hugged me tightly from behind, as if she wanted to embed me into her life.
I turned my head with difficulty and saw that her face was covered with tears, her lips were trembling uncontrollably, and sorrow was like a tide, completely drowning her face.
She whispered in my ear, her voice trembling with worry: "Return the car to 놛, and don't let 놛 know where you are. 놛 has lost his mind now, and I'm really afraid that 놛 will retaliate against you."
I quickly responded: "When Lin Xun and Mingjia Real Estate separated, I had Mingjia's people drive the car back."
She nodded slightly, with a complex emotion flashing across her eyes. I looked at her, my heart full of pity. I couldn't bear to see her so sad. Subconsciously, I wanted to kiss away the tears on her face with my lips to give her a little comfort.
However, the moment I got close to her, her eyes suddenly became determined. She pushed me with both hands and drove me out the door. Her voice was tearful and almost pleading: "Please, Guan Hongjun. Please help me and let me get rid of you completely."
As soon as I finished speaking, the door slammed shut in front of me with a bang. I leaned against the door helplessly, and I could hear her heart-wrenching sobs from inside the room. Her cries were like heavy hammers, hitting my heart again and again. My heart seemed to be crushed into countless pieces, scattered in this silent corridor.
Later, I heard from Lin Xun that Yang Ruining's parents-in-law had gone to the hospital several times and not only made a scene with the leaders, but also went to the department where she worked and made a scene. After that series of unbearable disputes, Yang Ruining resolutely joined the medical support team and went to the impoverished areas of the Northwest as a supporting doctor. No one expected that she would take root there and devote all her enthusiasm to that land.
Perhaps in that far northwest, she truly realized her ambition to serve the country through medicine with her superb medical skills, dispelling the shadow of illness for the local poor people and bringing them hope of life. 녦For me, her departure has become a scar in my heart that will never heal. Whenever it's late at night and everything is quiet, every moment of my past with her would come flooding back to my mind like a tide. Those sweet or warm memories in the past have now turned into a bone-chilling sorrow that fills my heart to the brim, making me sink deeply into the quagmire of self-blame and nostalgia, unable to extricate myself.
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