Because I promised her that I would find the ends of the earth and the ends of the sea.
A few years later, when I look back on this past, although I hate my recklessness and recklessness at that time, I still don't regret my persistence and investment in a relationship.
But Tang Xiaomei said to her that love always comes inexplicably and always leaves without reason. In addition to cherishing the love she once had, all that is left is a dusty memory.
She began to look for clues of this relationship in the Penguin Space diary, and she actually found a few passages that she had long forgotten:
On a rainy night, my longing is like a cup of strong tea that drives away my sleepiness. Why do I feel more depressed as the night deepens? This world is too wide, and it is not anchored by fate. Being with her is like intersecting straight lines, the intersection is hasty and short, and then we move further and further away from each other, until it extends to the infinity of time and space.
When the fingertips are still warm and the corners of the lips are still fragrant, why do you leave me alone? How many people know how to cherish when they have it? Why is love more beautiful the shorter it is? How many promises are kept as scheduled? How many promises are longer than the sea? In fact, life is just a journey. Why do you care so much about the scenery you have seen? I have loved, so I am hurt. No excuse can dispel the deep longing. The deeper the night, the heavier it feels. ——"Rainy Night"
The wind swept away the slight sorrow, and the rain in your eyes washed away the deep sorrow. I believe that from now on, there will never be rain in your eyes again.
But in my heart, there is a heavy rain, and the memories are like a surging tide, breaking through the long-built embankment of my heart. Suddenly, I feel salty in my mouth, really salty. Why did you let me walk to the end of this tragedy alone and endure this cruel mental degeneration? ——"There is no rain in your eyes"
After reading it, Tang Xiaomei asked curiously: "Didn't you understand some truths at that time? Why are you still obsessed with it and making things difficult for yourself?"
She replied: "It's hard to say what kind of state it is. You say I love her to death, but not really. But I just can't let go. I always feel that there are too many secrets hidden behind this relationship. I am stuck in the quagmire of searching for answers and can't extricate myself."
She smiled and said to him, "You don't love her, you love yourself."
놖 also smiled and said, "It seems to make sense."
But I didn't understand all this at the time. I came to a strange city. Relying on my vague memory, I followed the address on the package and asked everyone in some luxury villa areas, but in the end I didn't find anyone named Xu Feier.
Maybe Xu Fei'er is just an alias.
He was wandering the streets like a bereaved man, with no money left in his pocket.
During the day, I rummage through trash cans to find leftovers that others have thrown away.
At night, I slept under the viaduct.
He walked and searched all the way, and finally became a sloppy and wretched homeless man.
Finally one day, this "three-no person" was sent to a shelter by the police.
The shelter manager used persuasion and finally pried open his mouth and found out where he came from.
When they asked who could pick me up, I thought for a long time and finally reported the name and contact information of the Red Army commander of the division.
The teacher came to the shelter a few days later and took me out.
When the teacher saw 놖놅 for the first time, she couldn't help but burst into tears.
Because he was already skinny, dirty, and looked like a dead person.
He took 놖 to the hotel, where she took a shower, changed into clean clothes, and went to the beauty salon for a haircut.
He did not ask why he had fallen into such a situation, nor did he ask what his next move would be. He just took him back to his already established factory.
Not until things had basically recovered did he start talking about the future with this idler who lived and ate for free in the factory.
He brought us out of this darkest moment in our lives and also pointed out the direction for our future.
In 2005, he was already the deputy mayor of Tongxiang Town, in charge of the town's industry.
The city organized a study tour to Shenzhen, and also carried out some investment promotion activities.
놖I set foot on this sad place again.
At the reception hotel, I met Shi Pingsong, whom I hadn't seen for a long time. At that time, he was the reception manager of an electronics factory in Shenzhen.
That night, the two of them found a hotel alone to reminisce about the past.
After getting a little tipsy, they mentioned He Yahui.
Finally, he mentioned the itinerary for the next day. Their boss would take them to the factory to inspect the operation of the production line and then discuss the investment intention in Northeast China in detail.
Under the influence of alcohol, he talked to 놖 about the interesting anecdotes of his boss 놅.
His boss is a Hong Konger who opened this electrical appliance factory here a few years ago.
Because he came here frequently, although he already had a wife and children in Hong Kong, he adopted a female college student and bought a luxurious villa to make this his "home".
Around 2002, he divorced his Hong Kong wife and made his mistress his principal wife, and they later had a daughter.
놖 was not interested in what he said, so she found an excuse and went back to the hotel.
That night, I spent a long time recalling every detail of my past with He Yahui.
The next day at work, I met the owner of the appliance factory. He spoke Mandarin with a Cantonese accent and needed Shi Pingsong to translate for him from time to time.
He was of fairly handsome appearance, and exuded the shrewdness of a businessman.
Later, they stayed at the hotel and he hosted a banquet for them.
When toasting at the table, he led his current guests to our table.
He is the "Xu Fei'er" who once haunted his soul and made him lost.
She was quite calm at the time, not surprised at all, because she had imagined this possibility before with her identity.
The moment she saw me, she shook the cup in her hand slightly and turned her head to greet others.
It was as if there had never been such a person in this world, and he didn't even look at her again.
At nearly ten o'clock that night, the phone in my room suddenly rang. I thought it was the hotel front desk, so I picked up the receiver without hesitation.
Her voice came through the microphone, choking a little, and she said, "I thought I would never see you again in this life."
놖 replied calmly: "What did you say? 놖 can't remember."
She didn't speak for a long time, and finally said to me: "Whether you remember it or not, my relationship with you will always leave an indelible memory."
Then she hung up the phone. Listening to the busy tone on the phone, she felt inexplicably sad.
In the end, for some unknown reason, her husband did not fulfill his promise to invest in building a factory here.
In August 2008, when the whole nation was immersed in the joy of welcoming the Olympics, I received a call from Shi Pingsong, who asked curiously: "How do you know your boss's wife? She asked for your mailing address."
놖 was at a loss for words for a moment, and finally gave a reason that he didn't know whether he believed it or not: "We met when I hosted the inspection team, and I asked her to collect some information for me."
Soon, I received a registered airmail letter from Hong Kong. There was not a single word in it, only a photo.
In the photo, there is a mother and daughter posing together. She is the mother, and the daughter next to her is about five or six years old and is as pretty as her.
Sitting quietly in the office, I can't describe the feeling.
Tang Xiaomei firmly told her that this daughter must be with her.
놖I feel lost in my heart.
Tang Xiaomei defined this relationship as a lost online romance.