Song Heng sat in the carriage without saying a word.
Yesterday he was like a child, pestering me to go on a boat with him, but today he is like an ice sculpture, motionless and cold.
I turned to look at him, and seeing that he had his eyes closed as if he was resting, I resisted the urge to start a conversation.
Yes, after returning to Beijing, the matter of overthrowing Prime Minister Hua must be put on the agenda, and he still has a lot of things to think about and consider.
I almost thought that this period of time, which I almost "monopolized" Song Heng, was my whole life.
I couldn't help but laugh at myself, and unconsciously closed my eyes and fell asleep.
When I woke up again, it was pitch black. Song Heng had returned to his normal self and said softly, "Awake? It's just in time for us to arrive soon."
I nodded, listening to the crunch of the wheels rolling over dead leaves and broken branches, thinking that it was time to reach the woods where we started.
Sure enough, not long after, Eunuch Ah Fu was heard saying respectfully outside, "Your Majesty, Consort Mu has arrived."
Song Heng helped me get off the carriage. The cool wind blew across my face in the middle of the night, making me shiver. The capital city is much colder than Mingfan City. It seems that the "summer escape" time in Miansong Mountain is about to end.
Song Heng immediately noticed my movements and put his arm around me, holding me in his arms. "Be careful on the stone steps."
Perhaps because it was late at night, the four of them were silent, perhaps because they were sleepy or because of the quietness of the surroundings, like four night travelers in a hurry.
I'm sleepy, but what about Song Heng? I always feel like Song Heng has been worried since leaving the Zhuang Mansion this day. Or is it the aftereffects of yesterday's battle with Prince Shen'an on the boat?
Song Heng must have sent the message back in advance. The back door of the backyard was opened, and a nanny who knew the situation was waiting for us there. When she saw us, she bowed to us and then took a lantern to send us back to the room.
When I left, it was like a dream, and when I came back, it was also like a dream.
The scene in the backyard remained unchanged: the swing entwined with vines, the neatly hung straw targets, and the steps where Song Heng and I used to sit together and eat watermelon...
When I entered the room, I found two people standing there respectfully. One was wearing a bright yellow robe and was tall and thin; the other one really scared me. He was wearing a pink light silk dress - but his face was clearly a man!
"Greetings to Your Majesty, and greetings to Concubine Mu." The man in the skirt and hairpin was obviously very shy, and his head was almost buried in his clothes.
Song Heng was calm as usual: "You've worked hard, go down and rest."
"Yes." The two of them took their leave respectfully.
Looking at the two men's backs, I naturally understood that they were the ones who came to pretend to be me and Song Heng. But why did they send a man to pretend to be me?
It was also past sleepy time, and I felt quite energetic. Out of curiosity, I asked Song Heng, "That man in pink..."
Song Heng rubbed his brow and said frankly, "I asked Ah Fu to arrange it, so I'm not too sure. It's probably because we left too hastily, and most of the people we trust are men."
This explanation was very reasonable. Song Heng looked at me and said, "Shuang'er, we will return to the palace in a few days."
Although I already had the answer in my heart, I still felt a little disappointed when I heard it, but my face remained calm: "Yes, Shuang'er understands."
The cherries in the cherry orchard have all fallen, leaving only leaves as golden as the sunset glow on the trees; the spring water in the cracks in the backyard rocks still "gurgles" tirelessly and sings; the vines on the swing are still climbing and entwining, and seem to be growing stronger and stronger...
These past few days I revisited the places I had visited before, and only then did I realize that my reluctance to leave might be stronger than I had imagined.
I don’t think I am a nostalgic person. What attracts me is the freedom and joy here.
The three days really flew by in the blink of an eye. When I was busy and energetic, I thought I had made full use of every minute and every second, but when I looked back after it was over, I still felt that I should have lived a more fulfilling life.
Sitting in the carriage back to the palace, leaning against the soft and comfortable cushions, Song Heng and I were silent again.
Song Heng seems to be worried lately, and I suddenly remembered the night when Song Heng and I slept in the same bed as usual when we just returned to Mian Songshan.
One night, I was drowsy and suddenly felt my waist being tightly embraced. In the past, Song Heng would also hug me to sleep, but this time the force seemed a little stronger, and I opened my eyes unconsciously.
When I opened my eyes, I saw Song Heng looking at me face to face, and it seemed that he had been doing this for a long time.
That night, the moonlight was clear and bright, and the window was half-open, so we could vaguely see each other. When he saw me wake up, a flash of surprise crossed his eyes, but then he returned to his normal expression and gently called me, "Shuang'er."
I looked at him curiously: "Hmm?"
"I," he paused, his voice sounding a little hoarse at night: "I'm fine."
I was completely confused by what he was doing, and he suddenly asked me, "Can I... kiss you now?"
This was a question I had never expected, and it was also a rare time that I heard him hesitate.
In the past, when we slept in the same bed, we would tacitly keep quiet and not disturb each other, and naturally we would not do such intimate things in bed or at night.
We all probably know that we can't control ourselves as well at night as we can during the day.
So at this moment...
All we could hear was the rising and falling of each other's breathing, the clear light lingering in the distance, and our eyes met.
But before I could say anything, Song Heng, who was sleeping on the outside of the bed, suddenly sat up and got out of bed. Because of the backlight, I couldn't see him clearly, but I heard him whisper to me, "Sorry, I'm upset tonight. You go to sleep first. I'll go to the next room to check the paperwork."
Again without waiting for my reply he put on his coat and left the house, opening and closing the door without another sound.
After a while, I felt really worried, so I got out of bed, put on my coat and went to look for him. A warm yellow light came from the next room. When I carefully opened the door, I saw Song Heng sitting at the table, sketching something with a pen.
He didn't look up, perhaps he didn't notice me; I was sure he should be fine, so I quietly closed the door and left.
He has his country and the world, he has the people of the morning to bear the responsibility, he has the country and the people to consider.
Even if I cannot drive him forward or provide him with a guiding light, I should not be a noise or an obstacle on his way forward.
*
late at night.
"Your Majesty, Concubine Mu has gone to bed." Eunuch Afu came in from outside and said quietly.
"Yeah." Song Heng responded.
For a long time, Song Heng seemed to be talking to Eunuch Ah Fu, but also seemed to be talking to himself: "This time, I am increasingly confused about whether I want her to remember everything, or whether I want it to continue like this..."
"I saw Duan Xiao in Mingfan City today," Song Heng said, his slender knuckles trembling unconsciously as he gripped the brush. "Suddenly, I suddenly felt that..."
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