I stood where I was, so Song Heng wouldn't do anything to me tonight.
This is the first thought that comes to my mind.
Since he didn't blame me in person again, given his temper, he shouldn't vent his anger on the Mu family anymore.
My mind is in a mess. I feel like I have gone crazy and have no sense of proportion since I returned to the palace today.
Self-righteous arguments, a desperate attitude, and an extremely clumsy cover-up...
Even I don't know why I can't even behave properly in front of him.
I hate my current situation and state - it's like walking in the middle of a tightrope suspended in the air. I can't move forward because there is an irresistible force ahead; I can't turn around and retreat because I have no way out.
Like a puppet thrown onto the stage, he cannot position himself, so he has no ability to take the initiative to take action. Therefore, he can only respond to various external situations improvisationally, but his skills are poor.
Especially, facing Song Heng.
Emotional indecision and rational strong restraint.
I thought I had made the decision, but when I really faced it, I was completely defeated, lost all my rationality, and became flustered.
I took a deep breath and exhaled with all my strength, as if this could blow all my worries away.
There is still more than a year to go.
I took off my coat and hung it on a rack nearby, took my jewelry, turned off the lights, and prepared to go to bed.
Staring at the light gauze curtain above in the dim light, thinking that there is still more than a year left, I feel like I am facing an unsolvable problem, but I have to write down an answer as quickly as possible.
Suddenly I felt a cold wind on my face and the gauze curtain swayed slightly. I turned around and found that the wooden window was open.
Since I couldn't fall asleep right away, I walked barefoot on the smooth wooden floor to the window and closed it.
The window was on the outside. I stood on tiptoe and stuck my head out to open the wooden window, but suddenly saw Song Heng.
The side hall was at a right angle to the main hall. He was standing in front of the window, facing me sideways.
The night was dark, and I could only see him by the light pouring in from the main hall.
He seemed very alert and turned to look at me the next second. The familiar panic came over me again. This time, I consciously suppressed the urge to close the window and leave immediately, and saluted him from a distance.
He nodded and turned away without looking at me.
Suddenly I thought of that dream a long time ago. There were many things between him and me.
But at this moment, we are only a few steps apart, but it feels like we are worlds apart.
He tilted his head slightly upwards as if to look at the night sky above the courtyard. I put my hand on the window sill after closing it, and for some unknown reason I looked up as well.
It was pitch black, there was no moon, and the stars were scattered.
The evening breeze was bitingly cold and everything was silent, but I had no desire to leave the window.
She turned her eyes slightly to look at Song Heng. He was still standing there, motionless, as if the cold wind could not reach him, and the world seemed to have nothing to do with him.
I withdrew my gaze and simply looked up at the dark sky with him. Suddenly, I felt that this was the closest moment between him and me.
He is not an emperor, nor is he the male protagonist who has fallen in love with the princess; he does not have the responsibility of the world, nor is there any established destiny to constrain his future.
He is a man standing in front of the window facing the darkness without saying a word. He is Song Heng, he is just Song Heng.
It seemed like there were a few more stars twinkling in the sky, or maybe they had always been there, but I just didn't notice them before.
I don't know how long it was, and I didn't even know if Song Heng was still standing by the window, when I suddenly heard Xiaoqin's inquiring voice behind me: "Mu Zhaoyi?"
Immediately, the lamp in the room was lit, and when I turned around, I saw her holding a new fur coat in her hands: "Mu Zhaoyi, it's freezing cold, you should put on the fur coat first."
I was stunned for a moment. How did she know that I was still awake? When I subconsciously turned my head to look out the window, the main hall window was empty.
I reached out and took the fur coat: "Thank you, I'll go to bed now."
"You're too polite, Consort Mu." Xiaoqin was still a little uncomfortable with my thanks, and then she said, "Then I'll withdraw. Feel free to call me if you need anything."
I nodded. After she left, I hung up my fur coat, turned off the lights and went to sleep again. This time, I fell into a deep sleep in a short while, and when I woke up, it was dawn.
When I woke up, Xiaoqin and Xiaoqi were already standing respectfully in the house, as if they had been waiting for a long time. The golden sunlight outside the window poured into the house, filling it with light.
After getting dressed and washing up, I was carried back to Chenxiang Pavilion in a sedan chair. Along the way, I met maids and palace servants, and they were all extremely respectful to me, even enthusiastic.
When I woke up, I didn't see Song Heng and Ah Fu. The maid who combed my hair said they had gone to court. When I returned to Chenxiang Pavilion, Xiao Cui and Xiao Tao came to help me happily.
Everything was joyful and harmonious, like a festival. Xiao Tao looked at me with pride, "My young lady, today, has received the grace of the Emperor. She has been granted the privilege of bathing in the Lanqing Pool, staying in the Chengqing Palace, and being sent back to the palace in a sedan chair—"
Then he sang: "The spring night is short and the sun is rising~"
Xiao Cui quickly covered her mouth: "Don't sing nonsense!"
Xiao Tao also quickly shut up: "I'm just too excited, haha, I don't mean anything else!"
I just smiled and didn't tell them the truth. The less you know about some things, the better. They thought I was tired: "My lady, do you want to rest for a while? I'll go to the imperial kitchen to find you some nourishing food."
At the end of the twelfth lunar month, nothing much seemed to be happening: Song Yu was still on the march, the war hadn't begun, the imperial examinations wouldn't begin until next year, and the floods and droughts weren't natural winter disasters...
But Song Heng really hasn't come to the harem in the past few days. I suddenly wondered, if the next year is just like this - plain and simple, with no more contact...
What will happen to me?
But before I could think about it for long, a letter came like thunder from a clear sky, shattering my seemingly smooth life into pieces.
Mu Anguo is seriously ill.
There were only a few words in the letter, the handwriting was messy and unfamiliar, and the signature was actually Zhuang.
I subconsciously rushed to Chengqing Palace. I wanted to get Song Heng's consent. I wanted to leave the palace to see Mu Anguo.
That kind of emotion that is thicker than blood is surging in every inch of my body, and there is even a burning pain.
Xiao Tao and Xiao Cui were chasing me frantically from behind, and with their worried shouts, I bumped into a big embrace head-on.
"Chen Shuang," Song Heng took the opportunity to hug me and said, "I have already arranged for the imperial physician to go to the Mu Mansion."
I quickly looked up at him, and when I spoke I realized I was choking with sobs: "Your Majesty, I want to—"
I don’t know if it was Zhuang’s messy handwriting or the completely unexpected news of his serious illness, but I felt like I was thrown into the air, with no support, no one to rely on, only feeling uneasy and at a loss as to what to do.
"You go with the imperial physician." Song Heng looked at me worriedly and understood what I wanted to say.
After I thanked him and was about to run out of the palace, he suddenly grabbed my hand. I turned around and he looked at me and whispered, "Take care of yourself...you'll be fine."
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