Chapter 2 Chapter 2 My room is filled with letters that I can’t send…
Zhang Junyi did know that there was a man named Chen Ling'an, but he didn't dare mention his name.
The newly promoted Jinyiwei, a rising star in the imperial guards, was arrogant and ruthless. Under the pretext of liquidating the old clique of the deposed emperor, he had perpetrated several major crimes in just two years. Officials at the imperial court were terrified at the mere mention of Chen, and some even committed suicide out of fear when they heard he was about to question them.
Why does Zhang Xiaoman’s childhood sweetheart have the same name as him?
Could it be...
No, Chen Ling'an was born as a guard in the imperial palace and has always been in Liaodong. I have never heard that he has been to Xuanfu.
It's just a coincidence, the same name.
Although I know it is impossible, the more I think about it, the more scared I become. The more scared I become, the more I think about it. It seems that the evil creature will break in in the next second.
Zhang Junyi shuddered and shook his head hastily, "I don't know him, I don't know."
Zhang Xiaoman didn't believe it, "Then you just..."
"Are you going to write or not?" Zhang Junyi interrupted her abruptly. "If you don't, I'll leave."
Zhang Xiaoman did not ask any more questions. With the mentality of trying everything possible, he quickly wrote the letter and took out a small bag of silver from the bottom of the cabinet, about five or six taels, and wanted to send it all to the countryside of Xuanfu.
Zhang Junyi glanced at it and said, "It's not even enough for me to reward my grandma, so is it worth it for you to send it over specially?"
Zhang Xiaoman lowered his head and smiled.
She didn't dare give away the things her stepmother had given her as a reward. The Zhang family was so big, and there were social conventions everywhere, and money was needed in every aspect. These were the things she had saved up with great difficulty.
"The countryside is different from the capital. This money is enough to cover my expenses for half a year." She didn't explain, but smiled and put the letter and money into Zhang Junyi's arms, "Thank you, sister."
Zhang Junyi raised his chin and snorted. Just as he was about to leave, he stopped and asked hesitantly, "What does your neighbor's brother look like?"
"He's as pretty as a girl. There's a small dent on his left forehead. He looks..." Xiaoman gestured with her hands, "very flamboyant."
Zhang Junyi tried hard to imagine what "Zhang Yang" looked like.
"His personality is completely the opposite. He's reserved and calm. He blushes when talking to people he doesn't know well. He's a very gentle and kind person."
As he spoke, Zhang Xiaoman couldn't help but sigh, "I haven't seen him for nine years, I can't really describe what he looks like now."
Gentle, kind... completely different from that evil creature. Zhang Junyi sighed, feeling relieved, and waved his hand, "Let's go."
"Wait," Zhang Xiaoman stopped her, "Have you ever met Liu Jinshu?"
"I have seen it, how is it?"
"What kind of man is he?"
Zhang Junyi first stared at her inquiringly, then slowly said, "He was born into a prominent family in Nanzhili. He started school at the age of three, passed the imperial examination at sixteen, and was selected as the third place in the imperial examination at seventeen. He started as an editor in the Hanlin Academy, and in just five years, he became a lecturer."
"The late emperor himself praised him, saying he was intelligent and beautiful, a true orchid and a jade tree. He was the most perfect husband in the hearts of all the ladies in the capital."
His voice became more and more gentle, and the affection in his eyes could hardly be concealed.
Suddenly realizing his own gaffe, Zhang Junyi looked over at him fiercely, "Why are you asking this?"
Zhang Xiaoman said frankly: "To be honest, I think I'm going to go on a blind date with him."
A complex and inexplicable emotion flashed across Zhang Junyi's eyes, including sadness, envy, unwillingness, and a little guilt. All these emotions intertwined together made Zhang Xiaoman a little confused about her.
"Fourth sister, do you like him?" she couldn't help but ask.
Zhang Junyi was shocked and denied it without thinking, "That's not true! A girl's reputation is more important than her life. Stop talking nonsense and ruining my reputation."
The man is unmarried and the woman is unmarried. How can liking someone involve reputation?
Zhang Xiaoman was very confused. After thinking for a moment, she said, "What I mean is... if you like him, I'll talk to Mother and see if I can let you go on the blind date instead. Even if I go, there's a 99% chance it won't work out, and it'll just block your path. The girls of the Zhang family aren't cheap cabbages. You can't go after the older sister before going after the younger sister."
The astonishment gradually dissipated, suspicion gradually emerged, and Zhang Junyi was extremely hesitant.
A gentle breeze blew by, the eaves bells tinkled softly, and light and shadow intertwined on the three-cross and six-bowl diamond-shaped window lattices.
Zhang Xiaoman waited patiently for her answer.
In the end, Zhang Junyi shook his head.
"Really?" Zhang Xiaoman asked again.
"Are you annoying? If you say you don't like it, then you don't like it." Zhang Junyi seemed annoyed, and turned around and left with the silver and the letter.
However, as soon as she left the hospital, her face suddenly drooped, and when she returned to Chaoxia Pavilion, she was shrouded in loneliness.
She was alone for half a day, until the evening breeze blew the letter in her hand away, and then she remembered that she had not done the thing Zhang Xiaoman asked her to do.
She stared at the letter, gritted her teeth, picked it up and stuffed it into the bottom drawer of the treasure chest.
Perhaps the noise of closing the drawer was a little loud, so the maid Shi Qing came in to see what was going on. "Miss?"
"Tell Zhao Quan to take the money to the old woman in Xuanfu who adopted Third Sister," Zhang Junyi ordered. He felt that the few pieces of silver were too little. "Just give it to her like this, so as not to bring shame to our Zhang family. Take the other two hundred taels of silver, and count it as Third Sister's. Remember not to let anyone know."
"There is no one in the world who is kinder than you, young lady." Shi Qing flattered, but her eyes turned to the treasure box, then she took the silver and retreated.
Not long after, Aunt Yao came over.
Her children have grown up, so she is naturally not young, but time seems to be particularly kind to her. Her mature and charming face and plump yet graceful figure make her look unique and charming, not inferior to a young girl in her prime.
"Are you going to find Zhang Xiaoman?" Aunt Yao put a bag of silver on the table.
She spoke softly and tenderly with a smile in her voice. Although her voice was very gentle, Zhang Junyi straightened his spine and a hint of nervousness flashed in his eyes.
"Yes." Even the silver was intercepted by his aunt. Zhang Junyi knew that he could not hide it, so he slowly stood up and recounted what had happened, only hiding the childhood sweetheart with the same name as Chen Lingan and the letter.
Aunt Yao tapped her daughter's forehead and said, "That butterfly hairpin with kingfisher feathers is the work of the Silver Crafts Bureau, and is exclusively for the ladies of the inner court. You can't buy it outside even if you have money. You are so generous that you gave it away right away."
Zhang Junyi lowered his eyes in silence.
"There's no need to feel guilty." Aunt Yao stroked her daughter's shoulder and said softly, "I've observed over the past few years that Liu Jinshu is the only one in the capital who is worthy of my son. I had planned to have your brother go and test his opinion after the Autumn Examination, but I didn't expect the mistress to beat him to the punch. They stole your marriage, and you're the one who's been wronged."
Aunt Yao also gave birth to a son, who is also the only son of Minister Zhang. He is now studying at Nancui Academy. He is considered to be a fellow student of Liu Jinshu and can have a say.
"Madam, your plan is a good one, but in the Zhang family, the master is the one who makes the final decision."
Hearing this, Zhang Junyi looked up at his aunt, "Did the Madam agree?"
"How is that possible? Madam is soft-hearted, and Master isn't one to be coaxed." Aunt Yao chuckled. "Not only did he not give in, he even had a huge argument. Just wait and see, Master won't set foot in the main courtyard again for at least a month."
Zhang Junyi was anxious, "But you said you would definitely let me appear at the Four Seasons Banquet."
"You always lose your temper..." Aunt Yao smiled helplessly. After a few whispers, Zhang Junyi was stunned for a long time before nodding hesitantly.
"What a pity," Aunt Yao sighed softly, "I can't see the Madam's expression at that time. I think it must have been very exciting."
*****
The setting sun burned its afterglow unwillingly, and the golden light was divided into pieces by the window lattices, cast on the ground, and gradually became dim.
The fabrics on the table had been put away. Zhang Xiaoman was trying to figure out the pattern on the shoe while listening to Jinxiu talk about the main courtyard.
Jinxiu is Fang Mama's niece. She is familiar with everyone in the main courtyard and is the most well-informed.
"I don't know what they were arguing about. I only vaguely heard the girl's name a few times, and then the master left in a rage..."
Zhang Xiaoman put down the flower in his hand, his face full of confusion, "Did I do something wrong and make him angry again?"
But she racked her brains for a long time. She didn't know what she had done wrong, so she waved her hand and said, "Forget it, he doesn't like me anyway."
Jinxiu said, "Young lady, you should change your name. It's not my fault for being nosy, but it makes you look like you're not from the same family."
Zhang Xiaoman smiled and shook his head.
The girls of this generation in the Zhang family were named "Yi". When she first came back, the master gave her another name, but she was unwilling to change it, which made the master very angry. Since then, he has become increasingly cold towards her.
The master also complained to his stepmother, thinking that she was still thinking about the people in Xuanfu and her heart was not in the Zhang family.
In fact, she was very happy to return to the Zhang family. Which abducted child doesn't want to find his biological parents? Who doesn't long to go home and yearn for family affection?
But the look in the master's eyes when he saw her for the first time, the way he looked at her, was as if he was weighing how much silver she could be sold for!
It's really boring.
Xiaoman laughed at himself.
Jinxiu also sighed, and her eyebrows and mouth corners drooped.
Zhang Xiaoman laughed, stretched out his left and right index fingers, gently pressed the corners of Jinxiu's mouth and lifted them up, "Don't worry, things will be fine. Here, smile."
"Girl!" Jinxiu was so embarrassed that she didn't know whether to laugh or cry. "You are so carefree."
But my mood is not as low as before.
Jinxiu couldn't help but remind him again, "Young lady, please be careful, Fourth Miss. Don't wear the hairpin she gave you. I think she is just a weasel paying New Year's greetings to a chicken - she has no good intentions!"
Xiaoman was immediately amused. "She definitely has some selfish motives, but she wouldn't harm me."
Jinxiu: "Miss, you forgot that there is Aunt Yao behind you. She is not a good person."
In any case, fortunately, there is still the wife to protect the girl. Jinxiu sighed softly and went to the kitchen to see how the girl's meal was.
The room became quiet. Zhang Xiaoman opened the eight-treasure box, picked up a salted plum and put it in his mouth.
The scent of plums filled the air, which was about 70% similar to the one in my memory.
When she was eight years old, her adoptive parents who rescued her from human traffickers died unexpectedly.
The relatives quarreled over the fifty acres of land belonging to her foster parents, and no one was willing to take in her, an orphan with no blood relationship.
She couldn't stand her relatives' excuses and insults, so she quietly hid away.
It was drizzling, and the water vapor and smoke mixed together, blurring her vision.
Someone slowly approached from the chaos.
He was about eleven or twelve years old, dressed in plain white clothes, with a thin figure, a slightly frown on his face, and a look of worry and anger that did not belong to his age.
He didn't hold an umbrella, and a few strands of hair hung down on his forehead, with transparent raindrops hanging on the ends.
"Nowhere to go?" He added, before she could answer, "Me too."
She asked him hoarsely, "I've never seen you before. Are you here to study with Mr. Lin Ting?"
Mr. Lin Ting is an old scholar. When he has free time, he will teach the children in the village. Because he does not accept tuition fees, people from other villages also come to study in the village.
"Chen Ling'an." His voice was so low that you had to listen carefully to hear it.
After waiting for a while, without him saying anything else, she stammered, "My name is Xiaoman." After a pause, when he didn't respond, she said something else, "The day I met you was the Grain Full solar term, so my mother named me Xiaoman."
When Xiaoman mentioned her mother, her voice began to choke and she couldn't control her tears. She cried louder and louder and couldn't stop at all.
The relatives in the room were upset when they heard this and rushed out to scold her, calling her "unlucky", "jinx", "little bitch"...
Some stranger grabbed her and shouted that she should be sold at the human market!
Xiaoman refused to do so and fought back with all her might. But she was only eight years old, how could she defeat a strong adult?
A cold light flashed, and Chen Ling'an's knife was placed on the man's neck.
His eyes were colder than a knife.
The man retreated.
The uncle from the next room asked him who he was and why he meddle in other people's affairs. The aunt who came from nowhere scolded him for being immoral and getting involved with outsiders before his parents were buried.
There were also people who tried to mediate, with everyone talking at once and making the place chaotic.
Chen Ling'an extended his hand to her.
"Hold on to me, don't let go!"
The warmth gradually passed through his hands, dispelling the cold and damp air surrounding him, and Xiaoman suddenly felt less afraid.
After an unknown amount of time, the surroundings finally returned to calm.
Chen Lingan handed her a salted plum and said, "Don't worry, things will get better."
It's sour and sweet, a little salty, and slightly spicy.
Perhaps it was the good luck brought by the Yanjin plum that the old lady at the village entrance adopted her. Although her life was poor, she no longer had to worry about being sold.
Chen Ling'an also stayed in Mr. Lin Ting's library to study. The two houses were separated by a low fence. As long as he looked up, he could see his silhouette reading by the window.
The green is lush and dripping, cicadas are chirping, and fragments of the summer sun are swaying on the paper. The boy is writing seriously, occasionally looking up and smiling, responding to her expectations.
Their eyes met, without words, and it was so beautiful.
The autumn wind dyed the maple leaves red. Chen Ling'an was about to leave. She, who had always been sensible, got angry for the first time and pulled his sleeve and refused to let go.
Chen Ling'an slowly but firmly pulled back his sleeve. "I'll come back to see you next year during the Grain Full season." He pressed his fingers against the corner of her mouth and gently pushed it upwards. "Don't cry. When we meet again, I want you to run towards me with a smile on your face."
She nodded vigorously, and no matter what difficulties she encountered afterwards, she never cried again.
However, the Grain Full solar terms come and go in a hurry, and he is never seen.
Chen Ling'an gradually disappeared from people's mouths, as if he had never been there.
The warm wind was gentle, the window frames were trembling, the leaves were rustling, a few magpies were flying up and down, the thatched cottages turned into pavilions and terraces, and it seemed like a dream.
Rather than the marriage that made her stepmother anxious, she was more concerned about Chen Ling'an.
When she just came back, she tried to ask her father to help find someone, but before she could say Chen Ling'an's name, her father interrupted her impatiently and sternly warned her not to mention the past in Xuanfu again.
She didn't understand at first, but gradually she understood.
In her father's eyes, the fifteen years spent in the countryside was not only a stain on her, but also a flaw that was unacceptable to a noble family like the Zhang family.
It would be better for her to completely break away from this past.
But if we don’t talk about it, does that mean it doesn’t exist?
Zhang Xiaoman walked to the desk and wrote: "How are you? I'm going on a blind date. It probably won't work out, but if this one doesn't work out, there's always another one. Sooner or later, I'll marry a man my parents will be happy with."
The warm evening breeze blew slowly, drying the ink bit by bit.
She opened the small drawer of the black lacquered carved cabinet and put the paper into a small red box.
It was filled with letters that could not be sent.
The sun sets and rises again, and no matter what the people on earth are thinking, time always rushes forward without stopping.
Soon, April 9th arrived.
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