Chapter 38 Chapter 38 No Rejection
The wind was strong and the rain was heavy, and it was already dusk when they returned home.
Under the warm yellow light, little Jiang stood at the door with a smile to greet her sister.
Mrs. Jiang was surprised and delighted. "Why are you here? Be careful that your mother-in-law and the others will be unhappy."
As soon as he said this, he saw Qin Boyan behind the door and felt embarrassed.
Unexpectedly, Qin Boyan was more embarrassed than her, even ashamed.
"When my father-in-law and mother-in-law were alive, I received a lot of care from them. Now their own daughter is suffering, and I just stood by and watched. How can I face them in the afterlife?"
He bowed deeply and said, "Sister, your brother-in-law apologizes to you here."
Madam Jiang wanted to help him but it was difficult. "Hurry up, how can you say that? I can't let my personal affairs ruin the plans of the Marquisate."
Little Jiang whispered, "He sincerely apologizes to you. He was the one who captured the village head who testified today. He chased him for 800 miles, but couldn't capture him and tried to bring him to court-martial. He then managed to bring him to the capital before the retrial."
A surge of heat rushed into her nose. Mrs. Jiang wiped her tears and laughed, "How can I thank you?"
Qin Boyan waved his hands hurriedly, "We're close family, yet you're not as concerned about this as an outsider. And you're still thanking me? I'm so embarrassed."
Outsider? Xiaoman opened her eyes wide: She?
Qin Boyan knocked her head. "What are you thinking about? Uncle is talking about Chen Ling'an. Don't you know? It was he who brought your mother's divorce case before the Emperor. Only after the Emperor gave my family a heads-up did my ancestors not object to my coming forward."
"Your Majesty?" Madam Jiang exclaimed softly, "Chen Ling'an actually disturbed the Majesty about my lawsuit."
Little Jiang also felt a little emotional. "Chen Ling'an played a big role in my sister's escape from suffering. Now it seems that this man is not just vicious and cruel, but also has some human qualities."
Xiaoman rubbed his head and groaned, "He is not a human..."
Her voice was so low and the rain was so loud that no one could hear what she was muttering. Only Mrs. Jiang looked at her and sighed.
Jumping out of the fire pit should be a great joyous event, but Mrs. Jiang saw that her sister still had worry between her brows. Because her husband was beside her, she could not ask too much. She waited until the meal was over and the two sisters were talking in private before she asked.
Mrs. Jiang sighed, long and short, "I'm worried that the Zhang family will sue Xiaoman for disobedience."
"Lawsuits are decided by people. The Zhang family is notorious and can barely protect themselves. Are you still afraid of them?"
"Alas, this is another difficult matter. Even if the Zhang family doesn't sue, Xiaoman is Zhang Wen's daughter after all. Who would dare to marry her if she suddenly became the family member of a criminal?"
"The Liu family..."
"Don't mention it now." Madam Jiang said with a wry smile, "Mrs. Qin said some unpleasant things a few days ago, which completely chilled Xiaoman's heart. No matter how good Liu Jinshu is, she can't marry him."
Xiao Jiang was curious about what her elder sister-in-law said that made her elder sister, who was originally determined about the marriage, back off.
Xiaoman was determined not to say what the words were specifically, thinking that they were all disgusting and there was no point in listening to them and making herself upset.
Now that her younger sister asked, Mrs. Jiang responded with the same words.
Xiao Jiang said, "Sister, why should you continue to be ridiculed by her? I'm the matchmaker, so leave it to me. I'm her sister-in-law, so if she doesn't look at me, she should at least look at her brother's face, right?"
Mrs. Jiang, however, refused and gave Liu Jinshu's jade pendant to her sister.
On the way back, Xiao Jiang told her husband about this.
Qin Boyan volunteered to do the errand for his daughter-in-law.
"My sister has a terrible tongue. When she's in a good mood, her words can be sharp. Besides, my precious son's engagement was broken off, and you're just being her punching bag. I can't bear to see you get scolded."
"You're already in your forties, and you're still being scolded by your elder sister. You're making fun of the Liu family. Besides, the eldest sister didn't want this marriage in the first place. Wouldn't it be what she wants if it falls through?"
"Hey, you've been her sister-in-law for over ten years, and you still haven't figured out her temper. She's always been the one looking down on others, so how could she tolerate others looking down on her?"
Qin Boyan patted his wife's hand and said, "I am her biological brother. If she scolds me, I can talk back! Even if we quarrel, she will complain to the ancestors. At most, the ancestors will scold me a few times for show, but they won't really blame me."
If siblings quarrel, the mother-in-law won’t care, but if aunts and sisters-in-law quarrel, the same may not be true.
But none of them expected that Mrs. Qin would just fall out with them.
"What right do they have to cancel the engagement? If anyone wants to cancel, it should be me! They can take me if they want, and throw me away if they want. What do they think of my son? The younger one is shameless, and the older one is even more shameless!"
Qin Boyan frowned and said, "Mrs. Jiang is my sister-in-law. How can you curse me like that?"
"I'm your sister, why are you so disloyal?"
"You have to be reasonable."
"What did I say wrong? Wasn't it Zhang Xiaoman who seduced my son? Wasn't it Jiang Chan who was suing her husband in court? Word has spread everywhere, and no government office accepted her lawsuit, yet the Jiangning government office accepted it and granted the divorce. This is an unprecedented bizarre thing. Who knows how much filth is involved."
Qin Boyan stared at his sister in disbelief. After a moment, he said, "What are you talking about... Zheng Dicai and Chen Ling'an were close friends, and because of this relationship, he took on Mrs. Jiang's case. You sound like you're speaking up for that bastard Zhang Wen."
"I feel so sorry for you! Is it glorious to have a married woman as your sister-in-law?" Mrs. Qin was even more furious. "You even mentioned Chen Ling'an. Did you and Chen Ling'an team up to arrest those village bosses?"
"So what?"
"Among the local officials they betrayed is your brother-in-law's protégé! You should at least have said hello to us before arresting him. Now, not only has your brother-in-law's reputation been damaged, but Chen Ling'an has also been given a perfect handle. Were you hoping for your brother-in-law to be arrested?"
Qin Boyan was obviously surprised to hear this news, but he felt that he was not wrong. "How do I know that my brother-in-law's followers were involved? Besides, my brother-in-law is not involved. Even if Chen Ling'an wanted to arrest him, he can't."
Mrs. Qin slammed the table in anger. "Then you can't join forces with Chen Ling'an! He's your brother-in-law's political enemy, and he even broke into the Marquis's residence to arrest your nephew. It's only been a few months, and you've forgotten all about it?"
Qin Boyan touched his nose and said, "This time is different from that time..."
Mrs. Qin was stunned, and after a long while she sneered, "Well, well, what a pair of Jiang sisters! They've bewitched you to such a degree that you can't distinguish between friend and foe, and you don't even care about your own sisters."
"What nonsense are you talking about!" Qin Boyan's face turned pale. With one slap, he cracked the square catalpa wood table. Before leaving, he said, "I've always known that you've been jealous of them since you were little."
When he was leaving the hospital, he happened to meet Liu Jinshu. Qin Boyan handed him the jade pendant, patted his shoulder, and left without saying anything.
After the heavy rain two days ago, the weather became cooler and the cicada sounds became less frequent.
This made the mother's crying and complaining particularly clear.
Liu Jinshu gently stroked the jade pendant, glanced into the courtyard, and turned to leave.
He was impatient to stay at home and wandered aimlessly on the street.
A dull sun was slowly moving behind the dark clouds. It was noon and most people were taking a nap. The fruit vendors were dozing off with their faces covered with straw hats. The streets were quiet.
The sound of footsteps came from behind him. At first he didn't take it seriously, but when he stopped, the man stopped too, and when he walked, the man walked too. He neither came forward nor fell too far behind, just following behind him in a sticky manner, which was really annoying.
Liu Jinshu simply turned around.
The little girl behind stopped immediately, not knowing whether she was scared or tired. Her round face turned red, her eyes were full of panic, and she looked like she was about to cry at any time.
Looks a little familiar.
Liu Jinshu looked at her carefully. "Fifth Miss Zhang?"
Zhang Anyi nodded timidly.
"What do you want to talk to me about?"
"Third, Third Sister... was copied."
Liu Jinshu was startled: "What did you say?"
Perhaps because his tone was a bit scary, Zhang Anyi took a step back in fear and stammered, "My family is here. A lot of officials came, searched my house, and stole my belongings."
Liu Jinshu suppressed the irritation that was surging in his heart and said, "Speak slowly and in detail."
His voice softened a lot, and Zhang Anyi was no longer so scared.
"The officials said that everything in the house belonged to Madam Du and had to be returned to her. They looted and took everything, emptying the house. Most of the servants ran away. Grandmother was so angry that she fell ill and asked Third Sister to come back."
It turned out that something happened to the Zhang family, not Xiaoman.
Liu Jinshu breathed a sigh of relief, then was stunned. Since when did he stop considering Xiaoman a member of the Zhang family?
"You should go find your third sister, not me."
Zhang Anyi looked at him eagerly: "I dare not go to the madam. You are the third sister's fiancé. She should be able to listen to you when you speak."
Liu Jinshu couldn't help but smile bitterly, "The engagement is cancelled, and I'm not her fiancé anymore." After thinking for a moment, he added, "Even if I were, I wouldn't persuade her to go back."
Will anything good come of returning to the Zhang family at this time?
Zhang Anyi panicked, "But, but..." He kept saying "but" for a long time but couldn't make any clear explanation.
Liu Jinshu has gone far away.
Zhang Anyi stood there blankly for a while, and when he thought of his grandmother's sinister face, he shuddered all over and moved to the door of Mrs. Jiang's new house with his head held high.
At this time, Mrs. Jiang and Xiaoman were counting the details of the recovered farmland.
There were several large boxes on the ground, filled with gold, silver and other valuables. On the table was a large box of banknotes, as well as the deeds to the farms and villas, all of which were copied from the names of Zhang Wen and Aunt Sun.
Mother Fang was so happy that she couldn't see her teeth or eyes. "The difficult things that worried us so much are no big deal in their eyes. Look, Madam, in just a few days, he's already 70% to 80% back!"
Xiaoman was still unwilling to give up, "It's a pity that the Zhang family's big house, why doesn't mother want it, and give it to them for free."
Mrs. Jiang: "That house is of no importance to us, but it is their last refuge. A desperate dog will jump over the wall. There is no need to push people to the point of despair."
Xiaoman shook her head and talked about Old Lady Bian again, "She's fine."
All the land and estate assets that originally belonged to Mrs. Jiang could be found in Aunt Zhang Wensun's name, so she had no way to shirk responsibility. However, none were in Old Lady Bian's name. She kept denying the embezzlement of Mrs. Jiang's dowry, saying that she didn't know and wasn't clear about it. In addition, she was too old, so she was beaten with twenty sticks and then let go.
Mrs. Jiang laughed, "How can you say it's okay? Twenty strokes of the cane, half of his life was taken away."
Mother Fang said, "You're so kind! You just said they were slaves who had run away from the Zhang family and came to you, and you didn't even ask for money to redeem them. You just gave them the indentures. You're really letting those cunning slaves down!"
"I don't want to have any more entanglements with the Zhang family." Mrs. Jiang asked Xiaoman again, "I didn't have time to ask you a while ago. How long has Jinxiu been away since she went home to visit her relatives? Why hasn't she come back yet?"
Xiaoman smiled complacently and was about to explain in detail when the maid reported that the fifth lady had arrived and wanted to see the third lady.
Mrs. Jiang was always tolerant of children and wanted to let her in immediately.
Xiaoman: "Don't worry, let me meet her first."
The doorman was very sensible and only asked Zhang Anyi to wait at the gatehouse.
Xiaoman didn't go in directly, but looked inside from the window.
He has lost a lot of weight, his face has become much smaller, and his originally squinting eyes have become almond-shaped eyes. He looks better than before.
But he still acted timidly, sitting cautiously on the edge of the chair, rubbing his sleeves with his hands, looking very uneasy.
Xiaoman sighed and gently pushed the door open.
"Third sister!" Zhang Anyi's eyes lit up, and he immediately came over to hold her hand. "The family is in chaos, and we're counting on you to go back and take charge of things."
Xiaoman dodged her outstretched hand and said, "To take charge of the overall situation? To clean up the mess, right? I'd be crazy to go back. Will I be scolded and beaten if I go back?"
Zhang Anyi was so anxious that tears streamed down her face. "Then, can I live here? If I go back like this, my grandmother will beat me to death."
Xiaoman shook her head, "No."
Zhang Anyi's heart sank, "Why?"
"Why don't you know?"
"Aunt Yao also harmed you and the wife. She is even worse than my aunt and wants to ruin your reputation. You can take in Fourth Sister, why can't you take me in?"
"She went to court to testify for her mother. What have you done for her?"
Zhang Anyi was speechless for a moment.
Xiaoman said, "Sugar can't be sweet at both ends. How can I want my mother's favor and not want to offend the Zhang family?"
She began to sob.
Xiaoman sighed deeply, "You should keep the lapis lazuli I gave you. I bought it for a hundred taels. Sell it and use it sparingly. It should be enough to cover your expenses for two years. From now on, you'll be on your own."
Seeing her leaving, Zhang Anyi was very anxious, "You really don't want to go back to the Zhang family? Don't you even recognize your own mother?"
Xiaoman didn't look back.
"You can't forget your mother!"
Xiaoman walked faster and faster, almost running, until he could no longer hear the sound behind him, and then he stopped panting.
mother……
This name is not unfamiliar to me. I have called my adoptive mother and Mrs. Jiang. There is nothing difficult about it. I happily call them mother and happily get their response.
She never thought of herself as a poor motherless child, and she didn't have much obsession with her biological mother.
But now she suddenly realized that it was not that it didn't exist, but that it was buried deep in her heart, both in Xuanfu and in the capital.
Not thinking about it, not asking, becomes an instinctive escape.
Thinking about what I have to do next, I feel even worse.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, composed herself, and went to Mrs. Jiang's room with a relaxed smile, briefly explaining Zhang Anyi's purpose of coming.
"I refused directly. She obeyed her aunt's orders and stopped plotting against us in secret."
Although Mrs. Jiang couldn't bear it, she let it go when she thought of the mean-spirited Aunt Sun.
After chatting for a while, Xiaoman hesitated for a moment and said softly, "The Ghost Festival is coming soon, and I want to pay tribute to my...my mother."
The room was quiet for a moment, and Mother Fang looked at Mrs. Jiang worriedly.
Mrs. Jiang's eyes showed undisguised pity, "It's time to go. It was my negligence. I should have arranged it for you earlier."
"Mother, don't think too much." Xiaoman hugged Mrs. Jiang's arm, "I just want to say goodbye to the past."
Mrs. Jiang's expression changed slightly, and she held her hand. "Why are you saying goodbye? Are you planning to deal with the Zhang family? It's better to be quiet than to move. We'll respond to whatever moves they make. You are not allowed to go back alone!"
Xiaoman repeatedly assured her that it was just a simple worship and she would never act impulsively. Mrs. Jiang then nodded doubtfully.
After another rain, the Ghost Festival arrived, accompanied by the increasingly faint chirping of cicadas.
Aunt Hui died early. At that time, Zhang Wen treated this concubine indifferently and was unwilling to pay her a penny. He even wanted to take her directly to the crematorium and burn her, and then buried her in a random grave.
He even gave it a nice excuse that he didn't want his wife to suffer any injustice, so he didn't hold funeral for his concubine.
Mrs. Jiang couldn't bear to see this, so she donated a large sum of money and stored Aunt Hui's coffin in Fengqi Temple.
I originally wanted to wait for Zhang Wen to retire and return home, and then take Aunt Hui back to bury her near the Zhang family’s ancestral tomb, but now I have to make other plans.
Aunt Hui's tablet is enshrined in the Merit Hall of Fengqi Temple. At a glance, there are several rows of tablets densely packed together. Xiaoman searched for a long time before he found his mother's tablet.
It says "Concubine Hui" on it, but there is no signature of the donor.
Xiaoman stared silently for a long time before looking away, carefully lighting a long-burning lamp and slowly placing it on the table.
Mom, I'm here to see you.
A tear slid down her cheek, dripped onto her chest, and formed a small flower.
She stayed in front of her mother's tablet for a long time, until the sun was setting, and then she walked out of the Merit Hall with solemn steps.
The colorful sunset gave the walls, roofs, flowers and trees a light layer of rosy color, as if covered with a thin veil. Everything in the world became unreal, floating in a dream.
The man in white stood quietly under the magnolia tree, his hair tied only with a white headband, looking over nonchalantly.
The gentle evening breeze lifted the hem of his clothes lightly, and the falling petals were like snow, passing by his lips which were filled with a faint smile.
Xiaoman heard her heart beating.
He's coming this way!
Even though I repeatedly told myself to be reserved, never speak proactively, and never give him a good face to make him think that I am easy to coax.
But no matter how hard I tried to hold it in, I still couldn't.
"Did you come here to see me specially?" Xiaoman's cheeks turned red as soon as the words came out.
However, Chen Ling'an's answer made her even more embarrassed. He said, "No."
no?
Xiaoman didn't know what was wrong with her. Her chest was stuffy and painful. She felt wronged and angry. She just wanted to lose her temper. She couldn't help but sneer, "Then what are you doing here?"
Chen Ling'an was silent for a moment, then whispered, "Come and see my father, my mother, and my brother..."
The air stopped flowing for a moment.
All of Xiaoman's momentum vanished in an instant. She felt extremely sad and regretful.
She knew that today was the Ghost Festival, that his family members were gone, and that this was a merit hall dedicated to the deceased. He even changed the band on his head to white, but her mind was full of strange thoughts!
She always said she cared about him, but she ignored his sadness.
Xiaoman began to resent herself.
She wanted to apologize but couldn't, and the awkward silence made her uncomfortable, so she lowered her head and muttered, "Thank you."
Chen Lingan seemed a little surprised: "Huh?"
"That's right, I just had to speak well of my mother to the Emperor. Otherwise, the divorce wouldn't have been granted so quickly."
"Oh, just a casual remark."
After hearing this, Xiaoman felt even worse.
She also understood that living with the emperor was like living with a tiger. The emperor was busy with all kinds of affairs and had no mood to listen to the divorce case of an ordinary woman. He would get angry if she said something wrong.
Even if I'm in a good mood, I'll just listen to it.
There was a lot of criticism of my mother, especially from the so-called sour scholars, who wanted to brand her a vicious, rebellious, and unfilial woman. The fact that no one was willing to accept my mother's divorce petition was a good indicator of the officials' stance.
The emperor also has to consider the public opinion.
Not only did Chen Ling'an persuade the emperor, he also shut up those old men. God knows how much preparation he made and how much thought he put into it.
But he just brushed it off lightly.
Xiaoman decided to make up for her earlier rashness, "Do you want to go release river lanterns with me?"
The unexpected invitation made Chen Ling'an's heart skip a beat, and he didn't answer her immediately.
Xiaoman misunderstood and glared at him with a red face, "Don't refuse!"
The corners of Chen Ling'an's mouth turned up slightly and then quickly turned down, "Okay."
The color of the sunset became darker and darker. When they arrived at the river, the dusk had already settled quietly on the earth like mud and sand.
Chen Ling'an doesn't like crowds, so he takes Xiaoman to a secluded pier.
Far upriver, a few lights appeared, then a few more, yellow and hazy. Slowly, the lights formed lines, and the lines became clusters, crowding together and drifting towards them through the night.
Xiaoman squatted on the pier, lit the river lantern, and carefully placed it into the water.
Chen Ling'an also gently put down the river lantern in his hand.
None of them spoke, watching the river lanterns sway and merge into the brilliant starry sky, drifting farther and farther away, their light becoming dimmer and dimmer until they could no longer be seen.
"Actually, I don't have any impression of my mother at all," Xiaoman said suddenly. "A two-year-old should have some memories, but I don't remember anything. Was she tall or short, fat or thin, quiet and gentle or lively and cheerful? I can't remember anything."
Chen Lingan: "It's normal. Children don't start to remember things until they are three or four years old."
Xiaoman was tired of squatting, so she simply hugged her knees and sat on the ground. "I feel really sorry for her. Aunt Sun said that my mother's death was related to my mother, but I ignored her."
"It's right to ignore her. She's obviously trying to sow discord between you and Mrs. Jiang."
"But it's not that I don't want to, I'm just avoiding it." Xiaoman buried her head in her arms, "I'm afraid it really has something to do with my mother."
Chen Ling'an lowered his eyes and looked over. "No, Mrs. Jiang is an upright person. You should trust her."
Xiaoman still had her head down, her voice nasal. "When Aunt Sun said that, I actually hesitated for a moment. I should have asked Mother, but I didn't dare. I'm a coward."
A complex and inexplicable emotion flashed across Chen Ling'an's eyes, and he sighed softly, "You are very brave, and possess a tenacious mind beyond your age. If my mother had been as brave as you, my family might be a different place now."
Perhaps the moonlight tonight was so beautiful that it relaxed his tense nerves, and the words buried deep in his heart slowly flowed out like a river.
"My mother didn't have the courage to live. I know it was very difficult for her, but she still had three children. Aren't we worthy of her living? How could she bear to do that?"
"If Mom really loved Dad, she should have fought tooth and nail to stay alive and tried every possible way to redress Dad's injustice instead of hanging herself with a rope. Have you ever thought about us?"
"I miss her and blame her at the same time. It's really... Oh, my brother is dead, my younger sister's life or death is unknown, and I am in such a miserable state now." He laughed at himself.
Xiaoman looked up in surprise.
The darkness concealed his expression, but the deep sadness and self-blame in his words still penetrated the deep night and seeped into Xiaoman's heart bit by bit.
"Jinyiwei, Imperial Prison, I have become the kind of person that Daddy hates and despises the most. I am the truly unfilial person, I am—"
Chen Ling'an's voice suddenly stopped.
He looked in shock at Xiaoman who was hugging him tightly, his whole body tense, his limbs stiff, and his mind blank.
It took him a long while to regain consciousness and he struggled slightly.
Xiaoman hugged her even tighter.
This girl was really strong, and it hurt his waist a little. No, not his waist, it seemed to hurt his chest. No, it should be the pit of his stomach, but that didn't seem right...
Chen Ling'an stood there in a daze, clenching his hands, not knowing where to put them.
Xiaoman sniffed, wiped her tears on his clothes, raised her little face and said, "You are doing very well. If your uncle and aunt are still alive, they will definitely be proud of you!"
Chen Ling'an curled his lips and said, "Nonsense, you called me a bastard a few days ago."
Xiaoman: "You are a bastard. I am a good person and I forgive you, but there can't be a next time."
"Um."
There was another silence.
Chen Ling'an: "...Can you let me go first?"
Xiaoman slowly released her hand and touched her burning face. Although she knew it was inappropriate, she couldn't help but exclaim in admiration.
What a thin waist!
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