136 Chapter 136
"Between you and a career in government, I chose the latter."
Xu Qinghe saw that his hand holding the window first froze and then began to tremble.
Finally, the hands seemed to use a lot of strength and finally creaked the two windows closed, blocking out all the noise from outside.
There was silence in the private room for a moment, and the person in front of me did not turn around.
"Answer me."
She pressed him.
The next moment, she saw his hands clenched into fists at his sides, and saw that his back was stubborn and lonely.
After a long while, Xu Qinghe heard his hoarse voice, and he was talking to her about the past: "Before our marriage was decided, the prince and princess had a conversation with me."
Xu Qinghe was stunned.
She searched her mind for memories very quickly, but found nothing.
Xie Qi only smiled bitterly and said, "Don't think about it. You don't know about this. The prince and princess won't tell you, and I have never told you."
Xu Qinghe suddenly felt uneasy for no apparent reason: "What did you say?"
What did they say?
Even after so many years, Xie Qi still remembered the solemn expressions of the two elders.
At that time, the thirteen-year-old boy had just led his troops to a great victory. Although he suffered some minor injuries, the entire army, including the prince and princess, praised him as a good candidate to lead troops in battle, and who knows, he might really inherit the prince's mantle in the future.
The young boy didn't think so. He was still young and had plenty of opportunities to gain experience. It was too early to say anything now.
But he didn't expect that after these words were spread, the prince and princess would specifically seek him out for a talk.
Xie Qi was nervous. Because of Qinghe, he didn't want the prince and princess to have a bad impression of him. So after meeting the two elders, he immediately knelt down and admitted his mistake, saying that he had been arrogant before, but he had no intention of replacing them.
Unexpectedly, the prince smiled and said, "There are many talented people in my southern army, and you are not the only one who is widely praised as having great prospects. Don't take it to heart."
It turns out that they were not going to launch an expedition to hold someone accountable.
Xie Qi breathed a sigh of relief, but then his heart was once again in suspense because of the princess' words.
"Why are you arguing so much with him? Xie Qi, I just want to ask you, are you willing to marry Qinghe?"
"Wha…what?"
Marry Qinghe?
Did he hear it right?
It turned out that the prince and princess came to punish him today not because of the rumors in the army, but because of his dirty thoughts that he had not hidden well!
"If you are willing, then you are willing. If you are not willing, then you are not willing. Why do you have such a pale face?" the princess said impatiently.
The princess, who was usually heroic and reasonable, seemed unreasonable in front of him today, and always had some vague resentment in her heart.
Xie Qi didn't have the mind to think about why this happened for a moment. He was only focused on responding to the prince's eyes, which seemed to be smiling but actually contained a hint of oppression.
He faced that look and said truthfully, "All of this is just wishful thinking on the part of this general. Qinghe... no, it's the princess. The princess knows nothing about this. Please don't take your anger out on her, my Lord and Princess!"
He lowered his head and eyes, not noticing the reactions of the two people seated there. After a while, he heard the princess say, "No one is going to fight you today, nor will they vent their anger on anyone. You're usually quite intelligent, but why are you answering such irrelevant questions today? I was simply asking if you wanted to marry Qinghe and spend your life with her."
He immediately straightened his spine: "Yes, of course I am willing!"
Then the princess asked, "If I told you that if you marry Qinghe, you will never be able to go to the battlefield again, would you still be willing?"
He looked up in shock, but what he saw was the prince and princess's expressions that indicated they were not joking.
"Why... after marrying the princess, I can no longer go to the battlefield? I want to marry the princess and spend my life with her, but I also want to fight in the battlefield and protect the peace of our Great Ling."
Why can't we have both?
The prince before him sighed, then narrated, "Since you were born, or even before, Da Ling has been at war with the Nan Yi Kingdom, and most of the time, Da Ling has been on the defensive. On those battlefields, countless brothers' blood has been shed, and even when they occasionally triumph, countless soldiers have died on the battlefield. San Lang, how do you know that you won't be one of them in the future?"
The word death was still quite far away from Xie Qi at that time.
That was also the first time he faced this cruel fact.
He will die, die in his prime or even in his youth, die on the battlefield surrounded by iron hooves, and die in the worries of countless people.
He immediately understood what the princess had just said, that if he wanted to marry Qinghe, he could no longer go to the battlefield.
Qinghe is the only daughter of the prince and princess. She is so smart, lovely, and beautiful. How could the prince and princess, as parents, have the heart to entrust her to someone who might die on the battlefield at any time?
Xie Qi remembered that he was silent for a very long time that day, and the prince and princess did not rush him, leaving him enough time to think about this major event in his life.
After a long moment, he finally heard his own hoarse voice: "I will fight the enemy, protect the southern border, bring peace to Daling, and... I will also make the princess happy and peaceful for the rest of her life, and help her find a good match."
…
"Later, my parents told me that since the day I replied to the prince and princess, they've been looking for a new candidate for your marriage. My mother repeatedly advised me to give up on this idea. In the future, I will only be your older brother, your third brother. If I can truly take over the Southern Border Army, I will be your greatest source of confidence and support in your future husband's family after the prince and princess leave."
Xu Qinghe recalled from her fragmentary memories that there seemed to be a period of time in her youth when the boy who always loved to be close to her suddenly became distant from her. Even when they met, he would just nod from a distance and no longer showed any signs of intimacy.
"I thought... back then, you were angry with me because I ran to the army to look for you and caused you to be criticized by others."
When she was young, she had sneaked out of the palace on Qixi Festival to celebrate Xie Qi's birthday and went to the army alone to look for him. When her father and General Xie discovered her, the two elders never reprimanded her, but they still punished Xie Qi with a military stick according to military law. As a result, he was ridiculed by his comrades who had long been jealous of him, saying that he was a son-in-law who only relied on nepotism to get to the top.
"Of course not."
Xie Qi shook his head: "I have never taken other people's slander to heart, so how can I bear to..."
How could I bear to get angry with her?
It's just a helpless move made after careful consideration.
"No."
Xu Qinghe suddenly felt something was wrong: "At that time, it was still several years before I came of age and got married. My father and mother were in good health, so how could they have started planning a husband for me so early?"
Moreover, in her impression, her father and mother have always valued Xie Qi very much, so how could they let Da Ling's rare military talent be lost because of their personal feelings?
Xie Qi had his back to her, so she couldn't see the expression on his face.
A wry smile played at the corners of his lips. "For as long as we can remember, Da Ling and Nan Yi have been at war. Countless families have been torn apart and torn apart by this. You and I have witnessed it. No one knows which will come first, war or peace. Naturally, the prince and princess want to make plans for their only daughter as soon as possible, and find her a loving companion who will accompany her for the rest of her life."
Rather than a soldier on the battlefield who has to survive amidst the attacks of both sides.
"So, do you understand? Whether it was then or now, parting ways with you was simply a choice I made between my career and you. I don't deny that I do like you, I even like you very much, but compared to growing old with you, I want to establish a career in the army, let the name of the Xie family spread far and wide, and leave a mark in history."
More importantly, it would prevent him from dying in battle one day, leaving her with endless sorrow and memories, and ruining her life.
Although she knew that he said these words on purpose to make her sad, Xu Qinghe still couldn't help but feel a pang of pain in her heart when she heard him say such heart-wrenching words in such a calm tone.
She asked stubbornly, "Since you have already made your choice, let me ask you, how did you decide on this engagement?"
How was the engagement finalized?
Xie Qi smiled bitterly.
Of course it was because of the prince’s concession.
"For so many years, this prince has only had Qinghe as his daughter, and this is the only one I've ever wanted. The war is imminent, and the battlefield is changing rapidly. Even this prince cannot guarantee that he and the princess can escape unscathed. Before that, this prince hopes to find someone for Qinghe to entrust her life to."
"Qinghe has treated you differently from others and your other two brothers since you were little. I believe you understand."
Young Xie Qi knew that this was a turning point. As long as he gave in, he would be able to be with his beloved girl and stay together forever.
But the boy at that time was also young and energetic.
He stiffened his neck and replied, "Everyone in the army says that I am a rare military talent in decades. What do you think, Your Highness?"
The prince nodded. "Of course it is. To be fair, given time, your achievements will naturally surpass those of your two brothers, your father, and even this king."
Xie Qi then said, "If that's the case, with our army's military preparations lax, it's rare to find a talented person in the army. Why would Your Highness want to break him in half for your own selfish reasons?"
This was such a direct accusation that the Prince of Nan'an, who had been so pleasant just a moment ago, changed his expression. "Xie Qi, don't think you can be so carefree just because Qinghe is here."
Xie Qi replied, "I am so reckless not because I have won the favor of the princess, but because I have the ability to convince the prince, princess, and the entire southern border army."
Prince Nan'an scoffed, "Young and frivolous, that's all."
Xie Qi also replied, "But the princess may just like this frivolousness in me. If I give up the opportunity to defend my country for her today, she will definitely look down on me. Rather than that, I would rather just be her brother and protect her for the rest of her life. I would rather personally send her off to marry on an auspicious day in the future than have her look down on me and stop liking me."
After hearing these words, Prince Nannan's expression finally eased a little.
After thinking for a long time, he finally gave in: "Forget it, since it is her own marriage, let's ask Qinghe's own opinion."
Later, Princess Nan'an went to have a heart-to-heart talk with her daughter, explaining to her the anxiety that the relatives of a soldier on the battlefield would experience, but because she concealed the fact that the two of them asked Xie Qi to choose between marriage and his future, Xu Qinghe knew nothing about it.
However, Xu Qinghe didn't know much more than just this.
Xie Qi continued slowly, "In fact, in that battle at the Southern Border, the prince and princess were determined to win. If we had won that battle beautifully and conquered the Nanyi Kingdom, the border would have enjoyed at least a hundred years of peace. This would have been a blessing for both you and me, and would have saved countless relatives of the Southern Border Army from worrying about their husbands, fathers, brothers, and sons in the future."
"But who would have thought that a spy named Wei Yiqun would appear in the army later."
His selfish desires destroyed the century of peace that was within reach and the long-standing reunion and tranquility of the people, and also destroyed the selfish plans of the prince and princess.
Xu Qinghe was born in a royal family of military generals, so he was not completely ignorant of the situation between the two countries.
In the past, my father, the king, and my mother tried their best but failed to bring peace to the two countries. How could Wei Yiqun and Nan Mingzhao, who each had their own ulterior motives, sincerely and willingly promote peace?
She speculated, "Although Nanyi Kingdom and Daling have signed an alliance to cease hostilities, given Wei Yiqun's years of covert support for Nanyi Kingdom and the massive increase in Nanyi Kingdom's military buildup, they'll be back in a few years."
By then, the southern border, which had finally been stabilized, would fall into war again.
Xie Qi nodded: "Yes, that's right."
"So, you planned to dampen their spirit before this happened, assassinating the Nanyi Crown Prince and Nan Mingzhao one after another, plunging the Nanyi Kingdom into chaos and leaderlessness in order to preserve the peace of Daling, correct?"
After a long moment, Xie Qi replied, "...Yes."
That was his original plan, but who knew the Fourth Prince would suddenly appear in Nanyi Kingdom, forcing him to rethink everything. But the only thing that remained unchanged was that he couldn't guarantee he could escape Nanyi Kingdom or the battlefield unscathed.
Seeing that he did not show much shock, Xu Qinghe understood that he had already known that she had heard his conversation with Fu Zongying outside the Merlin Garden that day.
He had obviously guessed everything, but he just didn't want to tell her.
She couldn't help but curl the corners of her lips, with a lot of sarcasm: "It's precisely because you always feel that you can't return from this trip that you deliberately restrict my whereabouts to make me unhappy. You want to force me to leave, force me to hate you and resent you, force me to let you go completely, right?"
“…”
Xie Qi said nothing.
"You are silent now, naturally because I have touched upon your concerns."
Xu Qinghe sneered, "But Xie Qi, all these things, whether it was the marriage when we were young, or you hiding your identity and reuniting with me five years later, or your plan to go away alone to find peace for me..."
"You never asked me what I thought, nor did you give me a choice."
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