153 Chapter 153
◎ "Mom!" Suddenly a childish voice came. ◎
Xu Qinghe cursed him in her heart as a scoundrel, but she didn't let him lead her on.
She said coldly, "I told you that day in Guixiang Tower, Xie Qi, it's over between us. I saved you and gave you medicine only at the request of Governor Qin and for the Southern Border Army. That's all."
Xie Qi responded quickly, clearly well prepared. "If you have such a righteous reason, why don't you dare speak it out? And why did the people who joined forces with me hide this from me? Aren't they just shy and waiting for me to come looking for you?"
Xu Qinghe frowned, really not knowing why he would think that way.
"Why? Of course, it's because I don't want to be too involved with you. As for keeping this a secret from everyone, it's naturally to protect my reputation."
What shyness? That's bullshit!
The man behind him didn't say anything else. Just when Xu Qinghe thought he had finally given up, he suddenly spoke again:
"Okay, I admit, I still have you in my heart. I've never let you go. What I said in Guixianglou that day was all said in anger. Xie Qi, I can give you another chance, but only if you don't lie to me again. So you'd better get up now, otherwise I will be angry and never see you again."
Xie Qi repeated it word for word, and finally said flatteringly: "This is what you said to me that day. I heard it at that time, but I was trapped in a nightmare and couldn't wake up immediately. So, don't be angry, and don't see me anymore, okay?"
Xu Qinghe closed his eyes, turned around, and found that the man had arrived in front of him without him knowing when.
She looked up at him, into his eyes filled with determination, and Xu Qinghe suddenly felt powerless: "Since you can hear the voices from the outside world, you should know that my words were just to provoke you."
"I don't believe it!"
Xie Qi stepped forward and grasped her slender wrist under her long sleeves. The mark he left there half a month ago had now disappeared.
Xu Qinghe was caught off guard and pulled into his arms. He lowered his head and stared at her with his dark eyes for a moment.
Xu Qinghe knew that he was trying to find the flaws in his face that showed he was lying.
But she had no flaws.
Not seeing the reaction he expected, Xie Qi suddenly panicked and tried to make amends, "You've never been a liar. Since you said these words, they must be the truth. Qinghe, you obviously still like me. If you're angry, just vent it on me. I can bear it. There's just one thing: don't say these things that hurt my heart anymore."
He took her hand and placed it on his heart.
"It really hurts here."
After all these years, she still couldn't break free from him. His hand was like a pair of iron pliers, holding her tightly.
After nearly five years of military experience, he had gained more strength and his grip on her wrist hurt.
Because of the pain in his hand, Xu Qinghe's eyes gradually misted up: "How many times do I have to tell you before you understand? Xie Qi, I don't like you anymore, I really don't like you. In my heart now, you are just a general of the Southern Border Army, the same as Qin Shifu and others, there is no difference!"
After hearing this, Xie Qi was stunned for a moment, and then suddenly laughed.
He bent down slightly, and because there were tears in his eyes, he looked at her again through the tears: "Xu Qinghe, say it again. You said you don't like me anymore, then do you dare to look into my eyes and say it again?"
Xu Qinghe was a little dazed.
When she left the Southern Territory eleven years ago, he made the same gestures and asked the same questions.
She should have known that Xie Qi was as stubborn as herself.
When she left the southern border for Kyoto, he had said such harsh words, but he still didn't let her go. After they met again, he wanted to marry her even if they had to use each other.
In the heavy snow in the southern border that year, the scene was just like today. He stubbornly held her hand and stubbornly asked for a reason.
It's a pity that the fifteen-year-old boy was facing the little princess whose heart and eyes were still full of him, while the person in front of Lord Xie now was Xu Qinghe, who had truly removed him from her heart.
Just like eleven years ago, she still knew exactly what words would make him let go.
"Okay, since you want to hear it, I'll tell you one last time. Xie Qi, I once liked you, very much, and I once gave you the chance to confess everything to me. Back then, even though you lied to me and dragged me into this quagmire of accepting a thief as your father, I still thought about forgiving you."
"But it was you, you who insisted on pushing me away. Over the past few years, I finally managed to cut you out of my heart, and the wound there finally healed. Why should I start over with you just because you say you regret it? There's no such good thing in the world, and there's no need for me to let myself be hurt again."
"So, do you understand? What happened back then has made me see you clearly. I no longer dare and will not like you. What I liked before was perhaps just the young general in my imagination. So, let's end it here."
“…”
The hot big hand that was holding his wrist finally loosened suddenly.
Xie Qi lowered his head, his thick eyelashes covering all the emotions in his eyes.
Xu Qinghe couldn't see his eyes clearly, nor did she want to, so she turned her head to the side.
What caught his eye was the so-called thank-you gifts he had just brought back, which filled the entire table.
In fact, they were not expensive things, nor were they worth much money, but she loved those things very much, and some of them she still liked even now.
"...So, do you hate me now?"
After a while, she heard his hoarse voice.
Xu Qinghe shook his head: "I don't hate it anymore."
Xie Qi smiled bitterly: "That means I once hated him."
"Yes, I used to hate it."
At that time, she was pregnant and had not really let him go. Every day, she had to deal with the torment of pregnancy while trying to find out about him far away in the south. It was simply one of the most difficult times in her life.
It was just that he didn't need to know these things, lest if he knew, the two of them would not be able to break up today and cause more trouble in the future.
"Do you still remember when we first met?"
Xie Qi suddenly said.
Xu Qinghe was stunned, not knowing what his intention was in saying this, but when she searched her memory, she seemed unable to remember what they were like when they first met.
It seemed that this person had been a part of her life since she could remember.
Xie Qi smiled, tears in his eyes: "You may not remember, but I am two years older than you, I remember. I have been by your side since the princess was diagnosed with pregnancy and you were still in her belly."
"Later, the prince and princess had a baby girl. You were still a little wrinkled baby in swaddling clothes. At that time, I even looked into your chubby little face and coaxed you to call me brother. Unfortunately, you couldn't speak at that time and could only babble at me."
"Later, we grew up together, studied and learned calligraphy together. Even after I joined the army, I was still the one who stayed with you the longest. First I was your brother, and later, I became your sweetheart..."
"Why are you saying this?"
Xu Qinghe frowned and interrupted him: "These are all things in the past. What's the point of talking about them now?"
Xie Qi looked at her, his eyes finally focused.
He said, "Of course it does. We weren't lovers when we first met, and when we got together, we started as strangers. As we spent more time together, we became siblings without any blood relationship, and a few years later, love blossomed."
He raised his hand, smoothed the knot between Xu Qinghe's brows, and whispered, "When we parted five years ago, you said you wanted to be two strangers to me. You also said just now that in your heart, I am no different from the Qin governor and others. But we have been strangers to each other from the beginning, haven't we? Since we could become lovers back then, why can't we be together now? You said you saw through me and no longer liked me, but I can change. I can change into whatever you like. As long as you like, I can change into anything."
The heat in his eyes really burned her. Xu Qinghe slapped his hand away and turned her head away, no longer looking at him.
"That's just a fallacy. The past is the past, and the present is the present. We can't pretend that what happened in between didn't exist just because you and I don't want to remember it. Xie Qi, please go away. I'm tired and don't want to get entangled with you any more. Let's end our relationship here. In the future, whether it's weddings or funerals, you don't have to come to our house. Let's just assume that the relationship between our two families ended in the previous generation."
What she meant was that all their past could only be classified as the relationship between the Xu and Xie families!
Xie Qi suddenly grabbed her hand and pulled her into his arms.
"I don't want it to end here!"
He ignored the injuries on his body and held the girl tightly in his arms, as if the girl would escape if he let go even a little bit.
Run away from him, and never see him again.
"I didn't crawl out of a sea of blood and corpses just to hear you say we're done. I've been by your side ever since you could remember. Ever since I developed feelings for you, I knew I, Xie Qi, should be tied to your side, Xu Qinghe. I've already left you twice, each time with unbearable pain. After I found my life again in Nanyi Country, I swore, Xu Qinghe, that from now on I will never leave you, not even until my death."
She had said that if she wanted to give him another chance, she would have to die.
So today, he would exchange his life for another, demanding this one chance!
The hall fell into silence for a moment.
There was a breeze blowing outside the bed, the evergreen bamboo leaves made a rustling sound, the birds that came to the courtyard to beg for food chirped, and the lanterns under the eaves of the corridor not far away were blown by the wind, and the ears of corn underneath were entangled with each other, making a faint sound.
All of this made the silence in the hall even more obvious.
Xu Qinghe didn't say anything, but Xie Qi breathed a sigh of relief.
He knew that since she didn't refute immediately, she was hesitating.
Since she has hesitated, he can continue to pester her and one day he will be able to make this girl come back to him.
"mother!"
Suddenly, a child's voice was heard outside the hall.
Looking over the head of the person in his arms, Xie Qi saw a child outside the hall.
A child he had saved that day, who looked almost exactly like Xu Qinghe.
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