194 Past Events
"I've read all the letters you wrote."
The next day, Xie Qi was dressed in silver armor and a red robe, looking majestic and imposing.
Xu Qinghe had already ordered someone to pack his luggage so that he could set off immediately.
She originally wanted to send him to the city gate, but he said that the wind was too strong outside and he was afraid that she and her daughter would be hurt, so he only asked them to send him to the gate of the mansion.
"The most urgent thing is that you have to recover from your injuries."
Although he was about to go on a long journey, which was actually only a little over a month away, Xie Qi couldn't help but give him detailed instructions.
"The weather is getting colder. When I'm not here, let Nanzhi pour you some hot water bottles before going to bed."
"The wound medicine must be changed every day. Also, there's the scar removal ointment that the prince ordered people to develop. If you don't want to leave scars, you have to use it three times a day. Don't be lazy or slack off."
"There's also oral decoctions you need to take every day. You've injured yourself this time, and it's no small matter. You can't just not take them because I'm not watching you. And..."
"alright."
In the cold wind, Xu Qinghe's hair fluttered slightly, but there was a faint smile in her eyes.
She raised her hand and touched the cold, hard armor on the man's chest, then adjusted his helmet and said softly, "I know all this. You focus on your work, and I will take care of myself and my daughter."
A few days ago, under her persistent questioning, Xie Qi finally told her the reason why he had to go into a cold war with her some time ago.
He was not angry because she didn't care about him, but because she had threatened him with her own life in the fire, forcing him to save his daughter first.
Therefore, this time she wanted to make a special promise to this person to give him peace of mind.
"I'll be fine, and you'll be back safe and sound."
"There is peace! There is peace!"
The little girl stood on tiptoe, trying to plug into her parents' conversation.
Xie Qi bent down and picked up his daughter, and asked her with a smile if she wanted to tell her father anything.
Ping An said in a crisp voice: "Ping An will take good care of himself and mother. Also, Daddy, this is Ping An's gift to you."
"Gift?"
My daughter actually prepared a gift for me?
Xie Qi was flattered at first, and then looked at Xu Qinghe happily.
Xu Qinghe glanced away silently, pretending not to see the boasting in his eyes.
From childhood to adulthood, my daughter had given her countless gifts, whether it was the first poem she memorized, the first needlework she achieved in her life, the first poem she wrote... or... there were simply too many to count.
How could this person be so proud after only receiving it once?
Never mind, he has not seen much of the world, but she is magnanimous and does not share his views.
As he held the wooden box his daughter had given him and listened to her crisp instructions, his heart felt like it was about to melt into a pool of water.
Or is it said that a daughter is her parents' little cotton-padded jacket? This little cotton-padded jacket in his family is really lovely.
While his face was still undamaged by the wind and snow, he coaxed his daughter into giving him a kiss on the cheek. Finally, he took a deep look at the mother and daughter, then strode out of the house, mounted his horse, and rode away.
The sound of horse hooves rang out, raising a cloud of dust.
Xu Qinghe stared at the direction he left for a long time. Then, taking her daughter's hand, she casually asked on the way back to her room, "What gift did Ping'an give Daddy?"
Ping An couldn't help but think of the instructions Lin Xiao gave him when he handed the wooden box.
"Young lady, no one is allowed to look at the contents here, not even you. I'm handing it over to the Marquis, promising that he will never again be angry with the princess and will always obey her in everything! But if you peek, the box will lose its effectiveness."
"Also, you must not tell the Madam about this."
So Ping An shut his mouth tightly and said, "I can't say it, I can't say it."
It's quite secretive.
It was true that she loved her father very much, but she also did not forget that she was the daughter that her mother had given birth to and raised with great difficulty.
In her heart, she naturally still hoped that her mother would never be wronged or bullied. As for her father, he could only endure some "grievances".
**
A few days after the family separated, a heavy snow fell in the southern border.
Xie Qi felt a little regretful.
During the first heavy snowfall of this winter, he was in Lanzhou deploying defenses and had no chance to enjoy the snowy scenery with his wife and daughter.
Outside, heavy snow was falling. He stood outside the tent, wrapped in a cloak, and watched quietly.
After a while, he suddenly remembered that his daughter had given him a wooden box before she left. She was very mysterious about it and just said it was a gift for him.
He returned to the tent full of anticipation and opened the box.
Neatly stacked inside were densely packed letters.
His daughter actually wrote a letter to him?
He felt fresh.
However, when he read the first sentence in the letter, his heart skipped a beat.
The letter said: Xie Qi, I am very scared.
It was just a few short words, but Xie Qi inexplicably felt that it was Xu Qinghe's tone.
After quickly scanning the page, this guess was finally confirmed.
This is indeed a letter from Xu Qinghe, but it was written five years ago.
At that time, she was just a pregnant girl with no one to rely on. On the day when her neighbor's wife had a difficult delivery, she was worried and tossed and turned and couldn't fall asleep.
Perhaps she had known that the letter would not be sent, so she poured out her helplessness.
She said that when she first learned that she was pregnant, she was stunned and panicked.
"Xie Qi, I never thought that we would have a child. I already have the blood of both the Xu and Xie families in my belly."
"I thought about having the baby removed, but I couldn't bear to do it."
"The last time I saw you, I would have told you about this if you had said something kind, but you didn't, and neither did I."
"You may not know that the day you left Beijing, I saw you off on the city wall."
…
"Xie Qi, I feel so uncomfortable."
"It's hot in the summer and I have no appetite, but the baby in my belly needs nutrition."
"Mammy tries so hard to get me to eat, but I'm just wondering why you're not here at a time like this?"
"You are the best at coaxing me."
"It was so hot at night that I couldn't sleep."
"Mammy said pregnant women shouldn't use too much ice. I used a nice mat and had someone fan me, but I still felt very hot."
"My legs are always cramping and nightclubs are waking me up for no reason."
"My feet are swollen and uncomfortable. I can't wear any of my old nice shoes anymore."
"The first three months have clearly passed, but I'm having morning sickness again. I'm throwing up everything I've just eaten. I'm getting mad and won't eat."
"But even so, I still vomit, as if I want to vomit out all my internal organs."
…
"The neighbor's wife had an argument with her husband and got pregnant. She was in labor all day."
"I was so scared when I heard her screams."
"Xie Qi, will I never see you again?"
"I just told Jing'an that I won't let myself be trapped in this relationship. If I meet a man I like again in the future, I will definitely fight for him."
"But after all, I don't have a husband I like right now."
"I still only like you now."
"But why haven't I heard from you? How are you now? Are you seriously injured?"
"But I don't want to bother with you anymore."
"You don't want me anymore."
…
"Xie Qi, I'm really a little scared and a little regretful. How can a woman give birth smoothly? Will I also have a difficult birth in the future? I'm so scared."
"In this long night, why are you not by my side?"
…
The letter paper in his palm gradually became blurred and the handwriting became messy. Xie Qi blinked and there was a clicking sound.
New tear marks appeared on the already wrinkled letter paper.
He closed his eyes and tried to picture her writing the letter.
Would she also shed tears and have trembling hands?
She gave birth to his child in a strange town.
And at that time, he was not by her side.
…
In addition to the letter written by Xu Qinghe many years ago, Xie Qi also saw a letter from his daughter.
The daughter wrote in the letter, asking him to go to Xu's house in Lanzhou and take a look at her mother's study when he has time.
After the heavy snow stopped that night, Xie Qi immediately rode into Lanzhou City.
Lanzhou City was still the same as before, and the Xu residence was no different from when they left. Although the owner was not at home, Indigo still kept the house in order.
When Indigo learned that the Marquis was going to the lady's study to look, he hesitated.
No one was ever allowed to enter the Madam's study, not even her. The only person in the mansion who had ever entered by mistake was the young lady a few years ago.
Xie Qi told Indigo that Xu Qinghe was in Jizhou and asked him to come back to get a painting.
Considering the lady's indulgence towards the marquis, Indigo obviously believed it. He led him to the door of the study and left quickly.
Xie Qi pushed the door open and walked in.
What comes into view are various portraits.
There are people riding horses on green hills, galloping on battlefields, boating on lakes, and dancing with swords.
But without exception, it was always him.
After living in Lanzhou for several years, her study was filled with his portraits.
She clearly never forgot him.
**
On the third day of the winter month, heavy snow fell in Jizhou City again.
The cold wind wrapped around snow flakes flying in the air, the wind was howling, and the snow blurred the road ahead, and even half of the people on the street were gone.
Xu Qinghe came back from a gathering of old friends. Sitting in the warm carriage, he only glanced outside and quickly closed the window.
The carriage slowly approached the gate of the princess's residence. Just as she got off, she heard the sound of horse hooves behind her.
She looked back and saw a familiar shadow gradually growing bigger in the vast whiteness where she couldn't see the road ahead.
When he saw the man's figure clearly, Xu Qinghe couldn't help but widen his eyes, his eyes filled with surprise, and the corners of his mouth couldn't help but rise.
It turned out to be Xie Qi.
Before she could react, the man jumped off the horse and hugged her tightly in his arms without saying a word.
Xu Qinghe's nose hit his hard and cold armor, and he immediately saw stars.
She calmed herself down and hugged the man who seemed a little flustered.
"What happened? Didn't you say it would take at least a month? Why did you come back now?"
It had been only a little over twenty days since he left.
Besides, why does this person insist on hurrying on his journey when the snow and wind are so strong?
"sorry."
"What?"
Xu Qinghe was stunned.
Xie Qi stretched out his arms and hugged her tightly, repeating his apology again.
"I have read all the letters you wrote."
"letter?"
Xu Qinghe gently stroked the man's back, thought for a moment, and suddenly realized, "What did my daughter and I write to you when you went to Yingzhou? Shouldn't you have read it a long time ago? It's not worth mentioning it now."
Xie Qi hugged her tighter and said in a trembling voice, "No, it's what you wrote to me in Ting'an Town."
Xu Qinghe froze, completely stunned.
In an instant, she understood what was going on.
It’s Lin Xiao.
She did not burn the letter as she was instructed, but instead gave it to Xie Qi through her daughter.
“…”
Admittedly, she had a hard time during that period.
But that's all in the past.
Regrets cannot be made up for, but people still have to look forward.
In fact, when she was with Xie Qi, he was the one who took the initiative to accommodate her most of the time. No matter who was right or wrong in some matters, most of the time he would take the initiative to come up and apologize, and coax her in a gentle tone.
But when the man she had liked for many years showed his vulnerability, Xu Qinghe didn't mind lowering her head to comfort him.
She let go of the person in her arms, held his cold face, and said with a smile: "I saw it, so why are you crying?"
"I……"
Xie Qi sighed: "I'm sorry, you needed me so much at that time, but I wasn't there."
He had already heard from the scouts that she was pregnant.
But this is different.
The "other people's business" mentioned by others was different from the grievances this girl herself expressed. This was the first time she had revealed her vulnerability in this way.
Xu Qinghe wiped the tears from his face and snorted softly, "You've let me down in more ways than one. If you start crying every time you think of one, how long will you cry? Xie Qi, why didn't I realize before that you're such a crybaby?"
She held his cold face in her hands and said word by word, "Even though it was hard back then, I got through it. Although I expressed my regret in the letter at that time, Xie Qi, I don't regret it now."
"Ping An is a good girl, very smart, and very well-behaved. I am very happy to have such a daughter."
"As for you..."
"You do owe me a lot. You can slowly make it up to me in the future. Don't you think so, son-in-law of the Xu family? Hmm?"
In the wind and snow, the girl in front of him had her nose tip red from the cold, but her eyes were still bright and clear, and a faint smile was on her usually beautiful face.
He even imitated those playboys and reached out to pick his chin.
She looks exactly like the bright little princess in her youth.
She just smiled lightly, and the originally white and gray streets were brightened by her smile.
Xu Qinghe held her hand in his palm and rarely acted coquettishly towards him.
"It's too cold outside. Let's talk about it when we get home, okay?"
In the raging snow and wind, Xie Qi tightly grasped the palm of the person next to him.
"Okay, let's go home."
**
It was snowing heavily outside. The family of three, who had finally reunited, set up a meal in the pavilion in the plum blossom forest.
While having a meal, enjoy the snow.
After lunch, the snow had stopped, and Ping'an volunteered to pick plum blossoms for her mother.
Xu Qinghe supported his chin, looked at his daughter playing, and a slight curve appeared at the corners of his lips.
She glanced at the silent man beside her and took the initiative to speak: "Do you remember? Back in Kyoto, you were in the Meilin Villa and told Fu Zongying that you were going to Nanyi to assassinate the royal family and there was a high possibility that you would never come back."
"At that time, I was outside the Moon Cave Gate."
The man slowly shifted his gaze over and stared at her for a long moment before he slowly said "hmm".
Xu Qinghe sighed helplessly. While her daughter was still having fun, she turned around and reached out to hold the man's face again.
"I was the one who suffered alone back then, but I don't feel any pain now. Why are you still so unhappy?"
Xie Qi lowered his eyes.
Originally, she didn't need to endure the pain alone.
She should have had his company during the most vulnerable period of pregnancy.
Seeing him like this, Xu Qinghe felt a little angry.
"Xie Qi, I don't want an apology. I just want you to accompany me and keep me safe. If you keep holding on to the past, I really don't want you to..."
——It’s your turn.
In the blink of an eye, my waist suddenly tightened.
The man who had been silent just now suddenly grabbed her waist and pulled her to sit on his lap.
The intricate hem of the skirt drew a beautiful arc in the air, and the golden lines outlined on the hem of the skirt fanned out fine light in the sunlight.
"You are not allowed to abandon me, and you are not allowed to say such things again in the future."
Xie Qi buried his head in the crook of her neck, his trembling arms tightening more and more.
The tip of his nose was completely filled with the scent of this girl. When he held this girl in his arms, his heart, which had been suspended for many days, seemed to finally settle down.
She was right. There was no point in dwelling on the mistakes and regrets of the past. The only thing he could do was to spend the rest of his life atonement.
At this moment, the person in his arms suddenly let out a hiss.
Xie Qi suddenly came back to his senses and immediately loosened his grip, his heart in his throat.
"What? Did it hurt your wound?"
Xu Qinghe stretched out her water chestnut-like fingertips and pressed them against the man's forehead.
"No, you hugged me too tightly and I couldn't breathe."
Noticing the moisture in his eyes, she reached out and held his face, her voice soft and gentle as rarely heard before.
"What? I was the one who suffered back then, so am I the one who's trying so hard to appease others now? Why do I have to endure all the hardships?"
Xie Qi finally raised the corner of his lips, followed her strength, lowered his head and rested his forehead against hers.
"It's my fault. I'll come and comfort the princess."
"How do you want me to coax you?"
Xu Qinghe couldn't help but raise his eyebrows slightly.
Isn't this guy the best at coaxing her? Why is he asking her now?
"You want to go."
She stood up, called out "Ping An", and hummed a tune as she went to the woods to walk in the snow to look for plum blossoms.
The mother and daughter walked briskly, shuttling back and forth among the red plum blossoms, like two butterflies that had strayed into a fairyland on earth.
Xie Qi watched silently in the pavilion, feeling unprecedented satisfaction in his heart.
【Author’s words】
How can there be a baby so smart? [pat head]
The next word is "coax"
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