Chapter 116 Extra 2: Gap
Assistant Siqi knocked on the office door. On the small silver tray was a cup of black tea for afternoon refreshment. Knowing that he had not rested well recently, she brewed it a little weaker. She opened the door only after hearing Ye Kai's response from inside.
Ye Kai walked out of the lounge, tying his tie. Siqi pressed the switch of the electric blinds, and the folded afternoon light flickered, slowly moving upwards across her young boss's face.
The blooming light of the sky finally enveloped his entire body.
Ye Kai finished tying his tie and nailing his cufflinks on the tall buildings outside the French window. He stood there for two seconds, then turned around and picked up the teacup, asking, "What are your plans for the afternoon?"
Siqi reported and reminded everyone one by one about the priorities.
Ye Kai was still studying for a master's degree in the United States, but he had already been involved in Ningtong's business and management. Siqi sat in on the meetings during school and sent copies to him. If he really had to attend in person, he would stay up late to attend the meetings. During the two long holidays of the year, except for the first few days to adjust to the time difference and deal with personal matters, the rest of the days were also dedicated to the company.
Siqi has been following him for almost four years and has seen him become more and more adept at what he does.
Ye Kai listened to it in silence and adjusted some details. After the people left, he sat down in the office chair, lowered his eyes slightly and pressed his temples. When he closed his eyes, all the scenes in the dream were still vivid, the roar of the motorcycle remained in his ears, and Chen Youhan kissed him on the jaw before putting on the helmet, close to the earlobe. The numbness evoked in the dream continued to this moment.
His fingers unconsciously slid from his temples to under his ears. Ye Kai's eyes were light and empty, and he couldn't help but raise the corners of his mouth when he sent a WeChat message to Chen Youhan.
Chen Youhan opened WeChat and saw the message on the screen: So you only scored 28 in physics?
Although there were only a few short words, one could sense a hint of teasing and doting in them.
High school was too far away from him, and Chen Youhan suspected that Ye Kai had sent it to the wrong person. In the midst of the busy report, he couldn't help but take time to imagine that it must be a high school student who came to him crying and complaining about his poor grades and asking for study methods. Maybe in the end, he would naturally ask him to have dinner and watch a movie together in the name of thanking him. Looking up, the entertainment group's brokerage director made the final decision in a rigorous, confident, and academic tone: "The popular personality in the market now is the idiot beauty personality, which is beautiful, naive, and like a little white flower. It not only attracts fans but also has a good relationship with passers-by..."
Chen Youhan's eyes moved from the face of the agency director to the projector, which showed the agency department's artist matrix strategy plan. The page he stopped on was the two new stars who were about to sign a contract. They were indeed beautiful, innocent, energetic and pure. The agency director watched as the executive director's eyes changed from casual to deep, and then his face became uneasy.
Chen Youhan didn't have time to delve into the details. He lowered his head and replied to the WeChat message: Don't bother with those who are not smart.
After work, he was not greeted by a brightly lit house, but a dark and cold air. The lights from the tall buildings suddenly swept through the French windows and flashed across Chen Youhan's face, which was immersed in the shadows. There was no chance during the day, and he was waiting to catch the man and interrogate him when he got home, but then he remembered that Ye Kai had said that he had a social event tonight.
Chen Youhan didn't turn on the light, his thoughts still on what happened during the day.
Although both of them were wearing wedding rings, it was obvious that the effect was different on his hand and on Ye Kai's hand. At this time, the advantage of youth was reflected. When he wore it, everyone thought he had really settled down, and they all admired his match made in heaven when talking about marriage. Ye Kai was different. He was less than 25 years old, so everyone thought he was joking. He even ignored the wedding ring. Every day, he would ask, "Senior, I want to work with you on this project," or "Senior, can you give me some advice on this paper?" Young people don't care about breaking the rules. They have high aspirations and always think that their charm can conquer everything.
Being jealous is a bit of an exaggeration, but long-distance relationships are inherently more fragile and sensitive, and international students are naturally emotionally closer to each other when they are overseas. It would be self-deception to say that there is no sense of crisis at all.
The hot water gradually filled the bathtub. Chen Youhan came to his senses, pulled off his tie with one hand, and thought grimly, what a joke! Why would he, a successful man in society, be jealous of an idiot who got 28 points in physics?
...Although he didn't do very well in exams when he was in school.
Ye Kai didn't get home until late at night, and Chen Youhan went to pick him up in person. He was still somewhat conscious, at least knowing that he had climbed into the passenger seat, but he fell asleep as soon as he pulled the seat belt. Chen Youhan woke him up, unscrewed the water bottle and fed him a sip of water. Seeing that Ye Kai's eyes were blurry again, he snapped his fingers in front of him, "Hey," he barked like a dog, and held his shoulder and asked, "Which idiot is looking for you?"
Ye Kai's eyes were fixed on his face for two seconds, and his weak hands softly grabbed Chen Youhan's collar: "Liar."
Chen Youhan narrowed his eyes slightly, looked at Ye Kai, and patiently argued with a drunkard who was not in his right mind: "Who is the liar?"
Ye Kai didn't answer him, but turned his face slightly to reveal his delicate jaw.
Chen Youhan's gaze deepened as he lightly touched her neck, and then he kissed her. The kiss became deeper and turned into sucking. Ye Kai closed his eyes and tilted his head back, hugging his broad shoulders with both hands, and his body trembled uncontrollably in Chen Youhan's breath as he was deeply intoxicated.
I don’t know why, but I didn’t have any dreams tonight.
The next morning, when I woke up, I immediately saw the red mark on the side of my neck in the mirror. ... It was really fucking terrible. When I came out of the bathroom, my face was extremely dark, and I glared at Chen Youhan angrily.
The cloakroom door was open. Ye Kai was wearing a shirt and trousers, with his collar slightly open and no tie. He was looking for a silk scarf to cover the kiss mark. Chen Youhan hugged him from behind, "I'll help you."
The mirror embedded in the inside of the cabinet door reflected his slender and distinct fingers. He lingered among the brocade scarves for a second and picked up a dark green one. The soft and silky silk slid down from the metal and fell into Chen Youhan's hands. He held it, compared it to Ye Kai's neck, and then kissed her on the cheek and asked, "Okay?"
Ye Kai found Chen Youhan's face in the mirror and continued to stare at him expressionlessly, but his mouth was visibly pursed.
...This is really angry and waiting for someone to coax him.
Chen Youhan laughed: "Why are you so unreasonable? You were the one who took the initiative to kiss me, and you took the initiative to do it..." He whispered in her ear, "You said 'still want', and you turned your face away after waking up?"
The earlobes became scorching hot from the heat of his breath. Ye Kai struggled a little, then suddenly frowned, holding his waist and gritting his teeth, cursing: "... Bastard."
Chen Youhan kneaded him gently and admitted, "It was a little too much."
When pressing the sprained acupoint, Ye Kai let out a hiss and his face changed.
Chen Youhan continued: "… Mainly because I'm jealous."
He was frank, but Ye Kai looked puzzled: "Jealous? Jealous of whom?"
"Who told you that you got 28 points in physics?" Chen Youhan put his arm around his waist and pulled him into her arms. "Are you a man or a woman? What grade are you in? Did they take the opportunity to treat you to a meal?"
Ye Kai took a moment to react, his eyes slowly widened in disbelief. Before he could say anything, Chen Youhan asked again, "Are you a fan?"
Ye Kai: “?”
Chen Youhan reported the names of two female stars, and then carefully added a male star. They were all the examples of "adorable and innocent little white flowers" mentioned by the agency director at the meeting yesterday, and asked Ye Kai: "Do you like them?"
Ye Kai thought it was their new signing, so he said politely, "Not bad." Seeing Chen Youhan's unfriendly look, he immediately changed his words and said, "...Well, I don't really like him."
Chen Youhan said slowly: "There's actually nothing to like about people with low IQ."
Ye Kai raised his eyes slightly and asked with a smile: "Physics 28 means your IQ is not high?"
Chen Youhan asked: "What else?"
Ye Kai couldn't help but burst out laughing. Chen Youhan frowned: "What are you laughing at?"
"I think you're cute..." He smiled, closed his eyes and supported his chin, trying to hold it back, but the more he thought about it, the funnier it became, and the corners of his lips turned up to the point where he wanted to kiss him.
Chen Youhan took a step back and looked at him meaningfully, between amusement and anger.
Ye Kai laughed enough, managed to steady his breath and said, "Not necessarily." He said, defending the other party in a natural tone, "Maybe even though he only got 28 points in physics, he's good at everything else? And maybe he didn't listen to the lectures well in class, and just guessed in the exams."
After he finished speaking, for some reason, Chen Youhan's always calm and confident expression suddenly became tense, and he said stiffly, "Impossible."
Ye Kai suppressed his laughter and said, "How is that impossible? I only know one person."
Chen Youhan clenched his fists, and tried his best to patiently control his tone and expression. His handsome face was expressionless, but because Ye Kai was always speaking from the other person's perspective, his eyes still revealed a trace of uncontrollable jealousy and hurt.
Ye Kai turned around and faced the dressing mirror. While lazily tying up his silk scarf, he looked at Chen Youhan in the mirror and said, "He rides a motorcycle, which is pretty cool. He has a good figure, too. After all, he plays basketball."
Chen Youhan responded without any emotion: "Really?"
The scarf was wrapped around his neck. The dark green color really suited him. He bought it in Argentina during his honeymoon. Although wearing a scarf in the hot summer could be explained as fashion, it still made things more obvious. Ye Kai gave up on himself. Anyway, this was not the first time, not the second time, and of course... not the last time. He turned around and held Chen Youhan's hand that was hanging by his side. Wow, so stiff, as if he didn't want to pay attention to him.
Ye Kai pried open his fingers, held his hands, and tickled his palm with his fingertips: "Brother Youhan," he raised his face and looked up at him, "Are you angry?"
Chen Youhan snorted coldly, lowered his eyes to look at his cute face, and finally couldn't help but kissed the corner of his lips: "No." The sourness in his heart was forcibly calmed down. Ye Kai was not that kind of person, and he had no right to interfere with his friendships in any capacity. All the unhappiness was just his own one-sided inner friction. It was he who had to adjust his mentality, not Ye Kai.
Ye Kai hugged him and followed his will, scolding him: "You are right, there is nothing good to like about stupid idiots and poor students."
Chen Youhan's stern expression relaxed.
"But," he blinked, "you only got 28 points, why did you lie to me and say it was 40?"
Chen Youhan was stunned and took a while to react, "When did I say there are only twenty-eight in physics?" Without waiting for Ye Kai to answer, he understood, "It was in the dream."
Ye Kai couldn't help laughing, he rushed over and hugged his neck: "If you want to make up a score, make up a more decent one, are you satisfied with 40 points?"
Chen Youhan grabbed his shoulders and forced him to stand straight: "Baby." He paused: "That was a dream, not real."
Ye Kai's eyes were blank.
"You can't bring things from dreams into reality. Just because Chen Youhan in the dream only got 28 in physics doesn't mean I'm lying to you." He stroked Ye Kai's cheek with his fingertips and said gently, "Baby, dreams are fake."
Ye Kai murmured and repeated, "Dreams are fake." His eyes suddenly dropped in panic. When he raised his eyes again, he forced a smile and said in a nonchalant manner, "...I know, of course dreams are fake."
"Like you said, if I wanted to deceive you, why not make up a higher score? 60, 70, even 80 or 90 will do."
Ye Kai nodded and said "hmm". An indescribable tiredness and panic suddenly rushed into his heart. He tore off the silk scarf he had just tied: "Brother Youhan, I'm a little tired. Can I not go to the company?"
Chen Youhan observed his expression and didn't ask any further questions. He just stroked the back of his neck and said, "Okay, if you don't want to go, just take a day off."
When they reached the entrance, he chased out again: "Brother Youhan," Ye Kai swallowed and asked, "How come you remember your physics score so clearly?" He seemed to be implying something, for example, maybe you really only scored 28 instead of 40?
Chen Youhan answered this question very quickly. "Because it's rare," he smiled, "I used to rely on guessing for exams, but I only calculated the answers for that final exam carefully."
Ye Kai also curled his lips: "So that's how it is."
Chen Youhan opened his arms and said, "Come here."
Ye Kai snuggled into his arms, resting his head on his shoulder, feeling Chen Youhan holding him in a safe embrace. His deep voice whispered softly in his ear: "Don't let your imagination run wild."
He nodded obediently.
Chen Youhan held him tightly in her arms, resting her chin on the top of his head, and said half-seriously, "If you take it so seriously, I'll be jealous." She pressed her fingertips on his lips, "We won't kiss in the dream, will we?"
Ye Kai didn't say anything. After a while, he whispered, "...Didn't we kiss on the first day?"
Chen Youhan laughed out loud: "I was cheated on by myself?"
Ye Kai pushed him out the door: "You're crazy."
After Chen Youhan left, he made himself a simple breakfast, two slices of whole wheat toast, avocado, blueberries, and a fried egg. His cooking skills only went so far, and he didn't always get the eggs right. While the milk was still heating up, he ran to the study and pulled out the photo album. Chen Youhan was right, dreams were fake, he must have seen the photos too many times and put them into his dreams. Didn't he dream about it last night? It was only a day later, and the world in his dreams became vague and fuzzy. He had to think hard to remember the appearance of the young and energetic Chen Youhan, and in the blink of an eye, he immediately forgot about it.
The photo album flipped through the pages one by one and stopped at the city youth training section - Ye Kai held the corner of the page, his eyes blank.
Why? Why is Chen Youhan's wristband white?
It couldn't be that he remembered it wrongly. It was black, it had always been black, it had always been black. That day when they were in bed, Chen Youhan held him in her arms and accompanied him to look through the pictures one by one... It had to be black.
Ye Kai subconsciously dug his nails into the tape and blinked. Was it black? ... It didn't seem to be. He remembered it wrongly. In fact, it had always been white. He had worn white wristbands in several consecutive events, including the final group photo.
Ye Kai closed the album, leaned on the chair and slowly sat down. His mind was groggy, and some thoughts floated up and down without any regularity. He seemed to be swimming in a sea of light in vain, trying to grasp something, but he could not grasp anything.
·
"Hey, let's go."
The book covering his face was taken away. It was October, but the sun was still bright even at five o'clock. Ye Kai squinted his eyes because of the brightness, and then a big hand covered his eyes.
"Asleep?"
Chen Youhan finished his last training session with the school team and submitted his application to withdraw from the team. He came out of the shower, and in his sports bag were his jersey and sneakers, with a dark red basketball rolling next to him. He sat down next to Ye Kai, closed the cover of the book with one hand and read, "The Garden of Forking Paths". No wonder he talked more with Du Tang than with him, they really could see eye to eye.
Ye Kai touched the hand covering his forehead. The palm was broad and thick with long fingers, a pair of hands used to play basketball, and the palm was covered with thin calluses. The warm touch from the skin touching each other was so real that it couldn't be more real.
He snorted and said, "It's so sunny. I'm tanned."
Chen Youhan laughed: "I'm sorry, let's go, I'll buy you some ice cream."
Ye Kai pulled his hand away from his eyes, opened his eyes, and saw Chen Youhan's face clearly through the slanting sunset.
He is young and energetic, just like when we first met, and still has a rebellious personality.
Because he still remembered the panic he felt when he couldn't remember him after waking up, Ye Kai looked at him more seriously than ever before. The people in the school had all gone out, and the autumn insects were chirping softly. He lay on his back on the green lawn like a carpet, looking up at Chen Youhan steadily from bottom to top, still holding his five fingers in his hand. There was no one around, only the wind blowing through the bushes.
Chen Youhan lowered her head and gently touched his lips.
Ye Kai grabbed his hand to prevent him from leaving, and opened his lips to deepen the kiss. The breath was deadly and familiar when it came in, and he couldn't help but murmured "Brother Youhan".
Chen Youhan calmed down, separated her lips, looked into his eyes and said, "Scream again."
Ye Kai called out again as he was told, and his soft voice dissipated in the cool evening breeze.
Chen Youhan curled his lips, held his neck, and said, "I had a dream a few days ago."
Chen Youhan in the dream also dreams, it is a dream within a dream. Ye Kai sat up from the lawn and was pulled up by Chen Youhan, and the two walked out of the playground side by side.
On Saturday afternoon, the school was almost empty, with only the two cats raised by the security guards walking slowly on the low wall. Chen Youhan raised his arms and embraced Ye Kai openly. If Director Zhang of the Education Department saw this, it would probably be another bloody storm.
"What did you dream about?" Ye Kai fiddled with the basketball in his hands.
"I dreamed that you called me Brother Youhan," he recalled with great effort, and could recall many fragments of that dream, "I dreamed that I suddenly aged a lot, wearing a tie and a suit, but you were still the same, standing in front of me, and suddenly seemed to be a dozen years younger than me, like a high school student."
Ye Kai's pace slowed down unconsciously, "Then what?"
"Then, I seemed to have bullied you. You kept pulling my sleeve and crying, calling me Brother Youhan and asking me not to break up with you." Chen Youhan paused before saying, "I said some very harsh words to you."
Ye Kai's expression froze on his face, as if he was in a state of emptiness for a moment, but he quickly adjusted himself. He held his breath, trying not to tremble in his last words, and asked, "What did you say?"
Chen Youhan didn't want to repeat it word for word, and said lightly: "She said I was tired of you, that I was annoyed if you kept pestering me, and that I couldn't be with you all the time."
The basketball rolled to the ground, bouncing with a bang, and rolled away from Ye Kai's feet.
Seeing this, Chen Youhan hugged his shoulders tightly and shook them, saying with a smile: "Dreams are the opposite of reality."
Ye Kai's absent-minded gaze rested on his face, his complexion looking pale in the sunset.
The moment of being at a loss was just like the entrance in the dream. At that time, Ye Kai's face was also full of fear and panic. He opened his eyes wide and grabbed the corner of his clothes tightly, blinking and shaking his head instinctively. Tears kept falling from his eyes. He spoke incoherently and repeatedly begged him not to let go. What sapphire, what promise to get married, Chen Youhan didn't understand, but the pain in his heart was so real that it even pierced him. He was in so much pain that all his bones ached. He tried desperately to hug Ye Kai and say I won't leave you, but no matter how he struggled in his heart, the words he said were always calm and cruel.
"You know me best. After more than a year, I've already gotten tired of you."
"When two people are in love, it's important to part ways amicably."
"I didn't want to say it so directly at first, but it's annoying if you keep pestering me."
——"Shut the fuck up! It's not like that, stop talking, stop talking! Shut up!... I tell you to shut the fuck up!" With every word he said, he cursed in panic in his heart.
But to no avail.
Chen Youhan stood in front of him, holding his shoulders, and did what he had always wanted to do in his dreams: "I said this in my dreams, but in fact I will never get tired of you, and will never find you annoying," these words from first love, the next words were too heavy - his heart was beating like a drum, but he still said: "...I only want to be with you forever."
Ye Kai forced a smile, but his eyes were absent-minded.
Chen Youhan let go of her hand and said awkwardly, "I'm just comforting you, don't take it seriously."
"And then?" Ye Kai then asked in a very strange, sleepwalking tone, "No more?" This tone made people unsure whether he was eager to hear "yes" or hoped to hear "no".
"No more." Chen Youhan walked away, chasing the basketball that stopped in the distance, and his voice gradually became blurred. He leaned over to pick up the ball, and when he came back to him, he said in a nonchalant tone: "How could I say that to you."
But this did not comfort Ye Kai. He took Ye Kai's hand and tried to cheer him up: "You know, I look okay in a suit."
Ye Kai went to Chen's house on Siyuan Road several times. Chen Feiyi always asked indirect questions, which made Chen Youhan so annoyed that she did her homework with him in the coffee shop. Ye Kai was very patient when explaining the questions. Facing Chen Youhan, whose foundation was as weak as a pile of loose sand, he was able to patiently mark the key points and list the steps for him, analyze them in detail, and teach him step by step from the analysis of the question stem. At the end, he would find a few more exercises to consolidate. It was almost eight o'clock when I finished the physics paper honestly. The waiter came in to change the cups and plates three times. After a month, I was no longer surprised by them.
As they walked out of the coffee shop, the wind blew past, bringing the coolness of the city night. Ye Kai was absent-minded, so Chen Youhan took off her school uniform jacket and wrapped it around him, hugging him tightly in her arms.
There were people running on the sidewalk at night, and the river along the bank was wide. The West River a dozen years ago was far from being as gorgeous as it is now. The lights were dim, and the Republican-era buildings on the other side were still under repair. Instead, there were sand-carrying ships moored on the river. Ye Kai's home was not far from the Changdi Bridge. Chen Youhan sent him downstairs to the community and said goodbye. The warm orange light of the street lamps enveloped the two of them.
He straightened Ye Kai's hair that was messed up by the wind, and tapped him lightly on the forehead: "Don't be sad."
Ye Kai nodded and looked at him quietly.
Chen Youhan smiled: "Actually, that dream wasn't that bad." He put his arm around Ye Kai's shoulders, leaned over and whispered in his ear: "There were some good parts too. I dreamed that you and I were on vacation in Fiji, and you had a crush on me and thought I didn't know. In fact, when you were asleep, I kissed you secretly. I dreamed that we were walking on the beach in Vancouver, you held my hand, and there was an Alaskan dog that looked like Zeus following us. I dreamed that you were sitting in my arms, and I called you..." He paused, found Ye Kai's eyes again, and whispered two words:
"Baby."
Ye Kai raised his eyes, and their gazes were staggered, yet close to each other.
"Can I call you that?" Chen Youhan asked softly as if he was cherishing a treasure.
Ye Kai nodded hesitantly.
Chen Youhan called him, "Baby."
Ye Kai said: "Call again."
"Baby."
The sound became lower and lower, almost indistinguishable in the moonlight, amid the quiet chirping of crickets and the sound of the TV in the convenience store.
Chen Youhan called him, and for some reason, his heart was rippling softly like silk in the wind. It was a completely different feeling from when he was facing Du Tang. It seemed that no matter what he did, he was afraid of disturbing him, interrupting him, and offending him. When a girl brought him water during a ball game, he could refuse without blinking. The school beauty of No. 1 Middle School waited for him outside the door after school, and he dated her half-seriously and half-fakely as a joke. After coming out, he fought every day. His desk was filled with anonymous love letters and anonymous insults, but he didn't care about anything.
At the age of 18, Chen Youhan was fearless and did whatever he wanted. He didn't know how to write the four words "compromise". But facing Ye Kai, he had nothing. He rushed into a rainstorm like a person who had been stripped of all his skin.
He hugged Ye Kai's waist tightly, pressed very close to him, and looked down into his eyes. When he was about to kiss him, all the external sounds stopped, and only a high beam shone glaringly at him.
Like a searchlight, it cruelly shines into a dream.
The kiss was interrupted after all.
Chen Youhan calmly let go of his hand and pulled Ye Kai to his side. The car slowly passed by, and the world returned to darkness, but the atmosphere just now was gone. He handed the schoolbag to Ye Kai: "Go back."
Ye Kai took two steps, and the doorway of the residential building was dark, and the light would only light up when someone walked in and made a noise. But Ye Kai knew that this was a dream, he would never be able to walk into this building, and this light would never light up.
He heard Chen Youhan calling him again from behind.
"Ye Kai." A book was handed out, "I forgot this one."
Borges, The Garden of Forking Paths.
Ye Kai caught it. Ever since that dream, he has always been in a semi-sleepwalking state. The book was not caught firmly, and it slipped from their hands. The moment it fell, the pages scattered messily. Chen Youhan leaned over to pick it up, and a corner of the two photos slipped out from it.
"What is this?"
The body was one step ahead of the mind. Before I could even think about whether this was rude, my hand had already pulled the photo out.
His movements and expressions were frozen at that second.
The man in the photo is wearing a suit and tie, has a different hairstyle, has a handsome face, and a casual smile on his lips. He has a gentlemanly demeanor that is completely different from that of a teenager.
Chen Youhan raised his head unexpectedly, looking at Ye Kai who was one step away, but his gaze was without substance. He lowered his eyes again, his movements flustered. The picture in the photo was not an illusion,... it was almost him. He said almost because he couldn't believe there were two people in the world who looked the same.
Turn again.
I thought I was doomed, but I never expected that an even deeper hell was waiting for me.
It was a photo of Ye Kai and this person. He was lying on the other person's back, with his arms around his shoulders, smiling so beautifully, which matched the beach and coconut trees in the background perfectly, showing a good mood and love at a glance.
Chen Youhan clenched the photo paper tightly, his young Adam's apple rolling repeatedly. He swallowed hard several times before finding his voice. He even laughed at himself and said, "So that's how it is."
It's not that the man is almost him, it's that he is "almost" that man.
I say almost because there are no two people in the world who look almost exactly the same, but for Ye Kai, being similar to this extent is probably enough.
No wonder he forbad him to like Du Tang when he first met him.
The second time I see him, I will kiss him.
He repeatedly said he liked her, with an inexplicable certainty. That certainty was really heart-touching, and it made him feel for the first time that he was being firmly chosen and firmly loved.
It turns out that the so-called firmness has nothing to do with him.
When I looked into his eyes, it was clearly as he said, there was a lot of love in his eyes, but it seemed as if they were always looking far away.
It turned out that the reason he couldn't catch Ye Kai was not because he wasn't well enough, not because he wasn't well enough for Ye Kai to focus all his attention on him, but because the person Ye Kai was looking at was not him in the first place.
He was never the one who scored 40 points in physics, he was never the one who liked boys who could draw, he was never the one who liked to drink Macallan whiskey, and he was never the one who thought riding motorcycles was boring. He thought Ye Kai had heard the rumors from somewhere, he thought they were some harmless misunderstandings.
So, he would say "so green" when kissing.
Because there is a gap.
Time can go very slowly in the mind. In one second, a beautiful castle can be destroyed into rubble. In another second, a person with a scarred inner world can mend himself to look as if nothing happened. Chen Youhan curled his lips mockingly. After telling that dream, Ye Kai has been distracted. It's not that he is afraid of the nightmare coming true - why is he so narcissistic? Why is Ye Kai afraid that he will leave him? Why is he afraid that he will say those cruel words? Those words are probably what that person once said to him.
See, even nightmares are reenactments of other people’s stories.
So he said something presumptuous like "How could I do that to you?", but Ye Kai didn't care at all.
The hand holding the photo fell to his side. Chen Youhan's body was stiff. He tried to maintain his calmness which was on the verge of breaking. "I'm sorry, I misunderstood."
In the darkness of the night, Ye Kai saw the photo in his hand clearly and his eyes slowly widened.
How is that possible? In the photo, Chen Youhan, dressed in a suit and tie, was surrounded by people and walked towards the banquet venue under the brilliant lights.
He instinctively called out, "Brother Youhan."
Chen Youhan curled his lips and said in a tight voice: "Who are you calling? Him, or me?"
He was about the same age as Ye Kai, and he was happy to be called "brother" all the time. How could there be so many coincidences in this world? Even the names were - damn, the same!
Ye Kai took a step forward, gave a short laugh, and then looked at him with confusion: "No, it's not what you think...Brother Youhan, Brother Youhan, listen to my explanation!"
Chen Youhan broke free from his hand and took a step back like a gentleman.
"I was wrong today. It's not me who looks good in a suit, it's him." He smiled, leaned over, and gently placed the book and the photo on the ground.
"The game is over."
The author has something to say:
Ahhh, I've been delayed for a long time. If you forgot the previous part, please read it again. I'm sorry!
The answer to this extra mystery may be found in "The Garden of Forking Paths".
If you really don't understand, don't worry. You will definitely understand it after tomorrow's update.
And the last part (I’m so sorry it’s getting longer and longer, I added too many details)
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
