Chapter 155 Postpartum Depression? !
The next afternoon, while Nangong Yue fell into a deep sleep after drinking the tranquilizing and invigorating medicinal soup, Shen Xiaoyun quietly left Qixia Courtyard and hurriedly walked towards Haiyan Hall where Dongfang Yuning handled the affairs of the Chamber of Commerce.
In Haiyan Hall, Dongfang Yuning was buried in a pile of account books and route maps, his fingertips clattering on the golden abacus, his brows slightly furrowed, obviously calculating a complicated maritime trade profit.
System 118 was broadcasting various data streams simultaneously in her mind.
She was interrupted by Shen Xiaoyun's arrival.
"Aunt."
Chen Xiaoyun's voice was unusually hoarse. He waved away the maids waiting in the hall and waited until the door closed before walking to Dongfang Yuning's desk and standing still.
Dongfang Yuning raised his head and saw Shen Xiaoyun's extremely solemn face, which even had a hint of desperation, and he understood.
She put down the abacus in her hand, leaned back in her chair leisurely, and raised her eyebrows:
"Is there something wrong? Did Nianchen bother you? Or is there something wrong with Yue'er?"
She asked deliberately lightly.
Chen Xiaoyun took a deep breath. He looked directly into Dongfang Yuning's eyes that could see through everything. He spoke clearly, each word clearly. His voice was not loud, but it was filled with a determination that seemed to cut off all retreat.
"Aunt, please give me medicine."
Dongfang Yuning's eyes flickered slightly, but he remained calm: "Oh? What medicine? Didn't I give the prescription for Yue'er's postpartum care to the imperial physician and the nanny? The spiritual spring water is also provided every day."
"It's not for Yue'er."
Shen Xiaoyun shook his head, his eyes sharp and determined.
"It's for myself."
He paused, as if considering the most accurate words, and finally uttered that earth-shattering request:
"I want... a medicine that will make me exterminate my descendants."
Haiyan Hall instantly fell into silence.
Even the electronic sound of System 118 paused for a moment.
The relaxed look on Dongfang Yuning's face disappeared.
She sat up straight, folded her hands on the desk, and her eyes, which always sparkled with wisdom, became extremely calm at this moment, like an ancient well with no bottom to see, quietly examining Shen Xiaoyun who was standing in front of her.
"No descendants?"
She repeated it, her tone calm and even, without any emotion or emotion.
"Chen Xiaoyun, do you know what you are talking about? You are the only son of the Shen family, and Nianchen is still so young..."
"I know!"
Shen Xiaoyun interrupted her, his tone was hurried and excited, with an almost paranoid eagerness,
"It's because I know! It's because Nianchen is still young that Yue'er can't take any more risks! Aunt, you are a master of medicine, you know better than anyone that giving birth is like going through the gates of hell for a woman!
Even with your elixir, even if everything went smoothly, it would still be like pulling out tendons and stripping bones! The day Yue Er gave birth, I was outside... That feeling was a million times more painful than being tortured to death by slicing!"
His emotions were somewhat out of control, his chest heaving violently, and his eyes were once again bloodshot with fear:
"Once! Once is enough! I can't bear it a second time! I don't want to experience that again... that despair of losing her at any moment!
I'm scared! I'm really scared! I'm so scared that I have nightmares every night! I'm so scared that whenever I think about her getting pregnant again, I get cold all over, like I'm falling into an ice cave!"
He took a step forward, placed his hands on the edge of Dongfang Yuning's desk, leaned forward, and pleaded with a desperate gamble, his voice hoarse:
"Aunt, please! Give me the medicine! Let me completely get rid of this trouble! This way... this way I won't have to worry anymore, I won't have to be afraid anymore! I only want Yue'er!
I just want her to be well! Accompany me, accompany Nianchen! Other than that... I don't want anything! Shen family incense? Ancestors' foundation? Damn it! None of them are more important than Yue'er's life!"
System 118:
[Ding! Target Chen Xiaoyun activates his ultimate defense mechanism—physical castration of reproductive capacity! The core logic: Completely depriving one's own reproductive rights in exchange for the absolute survival and safety of their partner.]
Emotional Assessment: Fear Driven 85%, Extreme Possessiveness 10%, Love 5%... Warning! This behavior has irreversible consequences! Should the host intervene?
Dongfang Yuning listened quietly to Shen Xiaoyun's almost hysterical confession, seeing the deep fear and loneliness in his eyes. She was silent for a long time.
She understood. Very well.
The kind of madness that comes from loving someone so deeply that you are willing to give up everything, including your most primitive instincts, in exchange for the other person's absolute safety.
She had felt this kind of emotion from Nangong Ye.
It’s just that Nangong Ye chose to protect her will, while Chen Xiaoyun chose the more extreme and thorough self-severance.
"I have the medicine."
Dongfang Yuning finally spoke, her voice calm and composed. She opened a small secret compartment under the desk and pulled out an extremely simple black box, made neither of gold nor jade.
The box was opened, and inside lay a pill the size of a longan, dark golden in color, with a strange luster on the surface.
An extremely faint, cold medicinal fragrance spread out.
"This pill is called Cynomorium."
Dongfang Yuning carefully picked up the pill with tweezers and introduced it in a calm voice.
"After taking it, the drug's effects will affect the man's natural source, permanently severing his fertility. There's no reversal. The process... will be somewhat painful, like being burned by fire, and will last for several hours."
She paused, her eyes as sharp as a knife, piercing Shen Xiaoyun's eyes.
"Have you thought it through? Once you take it, there will be no room for regret. The Shen family will only have Nianchen as the heir."
Shen Xiaoyun's gaze was fixed on the dark golden pill, as if he was looking at his only salvation.
There was no hesitation in his eyes, only a kind of determination that was almost like relief.
He extended his hand, palm facing up, with a solemnity as if entrusting his life to someone:
"Please, auntie, give me some medicine!"
The voice was firm and unwavering.
Dongfang Yuning looked at him deeply, and after a moment, he gently placed the Suoyang Pill, which exuded a dangerous aura, into his palm.
"After taking this medicine, if you feel unbearable pain, you can soak yourself in ice water to relieve it. It will take seven days for the medicine to take full effect."
She added, her tone still calm, but with a hint of subtle complexity.
Chen Xiaoyun held the pill tightly in his hand as if he had found a treasure. He bowed deeply to Dongfang Yuning, said nothing more, turned around and strode away, his back carrying a sense of relief, yet an extremely heavy sense of determination.
System 118:
[Ding! High-risk item 'Cynodymium Pill' has been handed over. Target Chen Xiaoyun's vital signs are experiencing stress-related fluctuations (adrenaline surge).]
Prediction: This individual will experience severe physical pain for the next twelve hours. Host, are you sure this is the optimal solution?]
Dongfang Yuning looked at the direction where he disappeared, sighed softly, and his fingertips unconsciously stroked the cold golden abacus beads, his eyes deep and difficult to discern.
[Optimal solution?]
She whispered to herself, as if asking the system, or as if asking herself,
[In the face of fear, what's the optimal solution? Only... a desperate choice. Is he suffering from postpartum depression?]
Night once again enveloped Qixiayuan.
Nangong Yue had just finished feeding little Nianchen. The little guy was full and babbled for a while in his wet nurse's arms before falling asleep contentedly. He was then carried back to the side hall.
The bedroom was brightly lit with candles, and it was as warm as spring. Nangong Yue leaned against the headboard, holding a book, but she was a little absent-minded.
She had a feeling that something was unusual about Chen Xiaoyun today. He had been away for quite a while in the afternoon, and when he returned, his face seemed paler than usual. Deep in his eyes, there was a kind of suppressed excitement and... an indescribable heaviness?
When asked where she had been, he only vaguely said that he went to the Chamber of Commerce to ask his aunt about some nourishing medicinal herbs.
While he was thinking, Chen Xiaoyun walked in carrying a small green jade bowl.
The bowl was half filled with a medicinal soup that was as smooth as jade and had a light fragrance.
"Yuer, it's time to take your medicine."
Shen Xiaoyun walked to the bedside and sat down. His voice was deliberately gentle and steady, but Nangong Yue keenly noticed that his fingers holding the bowl had turned slightly white in the knuckles due to the force, and he seemed to be trying hard to suppress the slight tremor.
"Didn't you just drink the tranquilizing soup?"
Nangong Yue put down the book and looked at the bowl of medicine in confusion.
"What's this?"
"Oh, it's my aunt's new wife."
Shen Xiaoyun looked normal, even forcing out a soothing smile, and handed the medicine bowl forward again.
"It's said to be very effective in restoring energy and strengthening the body after childbirth. She specifically told me to drink it while it's hot."
He scooped up a spoonful, blew on it habitually, and tested the temperature with his lips. His movements seemed smooth, but the slightly tense jawline and the flash of nervousness deep in his eyes did not escape Nangong Yue's eyes.
Nangong Yue looked at him and did not drink the spoonful of medicine immediately.
She suddenly reached out her hand, not to take the spoon, but to gently touch the line of Shen Xiaoyun's tightly pursed lips, with a gentle coolness on her fingertips.
Shen Xiaoyun's body stiffened almost imperceptibly.
"Xiaoyun,"
Nangong Yue's voice was very soft, with a hint of subtle inquiry and deeper tenderness. She looked into his forced calm eyes.
"Are you...hiding something from me today?"
Chen Xiaoyun's heart suddenly sank, and the hand holding the medicine bowl shook slightly, causing the liquid in the bowl to ripple slightly. He forced a smile and said:
"No, what could I possibly be hiding from you? Drink the medicine quickly, or it won't be as effective if it gets cold."
Nangong Yue did not ask any further questions, but simply withdrew her hand and looked at the bowl of fragrant medicine.
She didn't pick up the spoon, but was silent for a moment, then raised her head and gave Shen Xiaoyun an extremely gentle smile filled with infinite longing:
"Actually... Xiaoyun,"
She paused, her voice filled with a hint of shyness and anticipation.
"Watching Nianchen grow up day by day, so soft and sweet, I kept thinking... How great would it be if he could have a sister? A brother protecting his sister, Nianchen must be a good brother. Our family..."
“Snap!”
Before Nangong Yue finished speaking, a crisp and sharp shattering sound suddenly rang out!
The small green jade bowl in Shen Xiaoyun's hand was like being hit by an invisible heavy hammer. It slipped from his trembling and uncontrolled hands and slammed heavily onto the mirror-like golden brick floor!
The warm, dark golden medicinal juice splashed everywhere like spilled blood, reflecting a strange luster in the candlelight.
The broken jade pieces were scattered all over the ground, making a mess.
Time seemed to freeze at this moment.
Chen Xiaoyun froze in place, as if he had been cast under a spell of immobilization.
He maintained the posture of holding the bowl, with his arm still suspended in the air, but his hand was shaking violently and uncontrollably, and his fingertips were cold.
He stared intently at the pool of medicine that was spreading rapidly on the ground. In an instant, all the blood color disappeared from his face and it became as pale as paper.
Those fox eyes that always sparkled with brilliance or affection now only contained boundless, abyss-like fear and... a despair that was mocked by fate!
All his disguises, all his pretensions, all his desperate gambles, were shattered by the medicine bowl that accidentally fell in front of Nangong Yue's longing words "Give me a little sister"!
Nangong Yue was also shocked by this sudden change.
She looked at the spilled medicine and debris on the ground, then looked up at Shen Xiaoyun's frighteningly pale face, filled with great fear and pain. She instantly understood something. A chill mixed with indescribable heartache suddenly grabbed her.
"Xiaoyun..."
She reached out her hand, wanting to touch him.
“Don’t touch!”
Shen Xiaoyun took a step back suddenly, his voice hoarse and broken, with a fear of dying. The medicine juice on the ground was a deadly venom!
He was breathing rapidly, his body shaking from the huge emotional shock. He looked at Nangong Yue with a distracted look, then at the mess on the ground, as if the whole world was collapsing before his eyes.
“Medicine…medicine…”
He was incoherent, and the huge fear was like an icy tide that instantly overwhelmed him.
He thought that he could find peace by cutting off the root, but at this moment he realized very clearly that the source of his real fear had never been the illusory fertility, but any risk that the person in front of him might encounter!
This fear is deeply rooted in the bones and there is no cure!
"Xiaoyun!"
Nangong Yue threw back the quilt regardless of everything, stepped barefoot on the cold ground, rushed to him in a few steps, and hugged his cold and trembling body tightly regardless of his dodging!
"It's okay! Xiaoyun, look at me! It's okay!"
She patted his back hard, her voice filled with suppressed sobs and incomparable determination.
"If the medicine is spilled, it's spilled! I won't drink it! I won't drink those messy things! I'm fine! Look, I'm right here! I'm not going anywhere!"
Shen Xiaoyun's body trembled violently in her arms, like a fallen leaf in the autumn wind.
He lowered his head stiffly and slowly, burying his face deeply in Nangong Yue's warm neck. Hot tears instantly burst out, soaking her pajamas.
This time, it was no longer suppressed silent crying, but a desperate and painful whimper like a trapped beast.
"Yuer..."
His broken voice came muffled, with a heavy nasal tone and boundless fear. Every word seemed like tears of blood squeezed out from the depths of his soul.
"I'm scared... I'm really scared... I can't do it... I can't..."
He hugged her back tightly, using all his strength, wanting to rub her into his bones and blood, his voice choked with sobs:
"You are more important than my life... Yue'er... You are more important than my life! Without you... what's the point of living...?"
Hot tears slid down Nangong Yue's neck, burning her heart so much that it trembled.
She hugged the man who was completely overwhelmed by fear and repeated in his ear over and over again:
"I'm here, Xiaoyun. I'm here. We're fine. We and Nianchen, the whole family is fine..."
She knew that the elixir that he had begged for and then knocked over with his own hands did not become the antidote to his fear.
Because there is no good medicine in this world that can truly cure the fear that deep love brings and penetrates deep into the bone marrow.
This fear and love coexist, like twin vines, entwining each other and supporting each other.
Perhaps, this is the other side of love - the sweet burden, and the sweet, eternal bond.
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