Chapter 45: Fireworks and the Human World
The towering gates of the Golden Throne Hall slowly opened in the morning light, and the solemn chimes echoed. However, the atmosphere today was different from the solemnity of the past. A strange feeling of tension, uneasiness, and a hint of hidden anticipation permeated the air.
The reason was simple - the gorgeous sedan chair escorted by Prince Yong Nangong Ye himself, which was parked on the road leading to court, was continuously emitting a clear and audible "voice broadcast" filled with strong resentment!
[Wow wow wow~~ This is so unfair! The Nangong family is no longer human! My brother-in-law exploits my small body during the day and treats me like a mascot (and cash cow) in the court. He doesn't even let me get enough sleep!
His brother…his brother is even worse! Instead of being his cold, evil spirit at night, he has to come into my dreams…to seduce me!
Something like 'Ning'er, remember to think of me'... Ahhh! And he's holding me so tight! Vixen! A whole bunch of evil-minded black foxes!
Wuuwuwu…Tong~ This life is unbearable! I’m so sleepy! I want to sleep! I want my soft bed! I don’t want to go to court! Wuuwuwu~~~]
This plaintive baby voice, with a thick nasal tone and the drowsy feeling of not waking up yet, was like a devil's sound filling the ears, accurately penetrating the curtain of the sedan chair and entering the ears of every minister who passed by.
Ministers: “!!!”
Everyone trembled and froze in their tracks!
The Minister of Revenue stumbled and almost fell!
The Minister of Rites subconsciously covered his official hat, as if the resentment could overturn it!
The Minister of Justice's face twitched and he silently quickened his pace, wanting to quickly escape from the "broadcast" range!
The younger officials turned pale and were covered in cold sweat.
[It's over! I'm in a really bad mood today!]
Listen to this resentment! This resentment is soaring! It's even stronger than the snail noodles at the palace banquet last time!
[She specifically mentioned His Majesty and Prince Yong... and... she even dreamed about Prince Yong seducing her? This amount of information... s ...
Prince Yong seduces me in my dreams at night? This... this... (I dare not even think about it)
The scariest part was her last line, "This life is unbearable!" The last time she said that, she was serving bioweapon-grade snail noodles at a palace banquet! What's she going to do this time?!
[Wuwuwu… Grandma, please bless me! No matter what happens today, please protect me! I’m too old to be embarrassed!]
——This is the old minister who had his pants stripped off last time (psychologically speaking), and now he is praying devoutly in his heart.
The entire procession to court was shrouded in a gloomy and panic-stricken atmosphere. Everyone walked lightly, fearing that even the slightest noise would disturb the impotent and furious little ancestor in the sedan chair and cause her to make her impossible declaration come true.
The commander of the imperial guards silently tightened the sword at his waist, his eyes scanning the ground vigilantly, as if guarding against the snail noodle soup base or fried skewers that might come out from the cracks in the floor tiles at any time.
Inner thoughts: [Today's goal: to protect His Majesty's body... and the safety of all my colleagues'... underwear!]
Nangong Yu, dressed in a dragon robe, walked towards the Golden Palace surrounded by palace servants. Naturally, he also heard the resentful "broadcast" of his sister-in-law.
He paused, the corners of his mouth twitched violently, and he raised his hand to rub his throbbing temples.
Inner lament:
[Okay, I knew it... The gates of Wuer Palace were shut so tightly last night, not even a crack was left for me. So that's the root of the problem! This little ancestor is so grumpy even when he wakes up! He blames me for being 'bullied' by Aye in his dream? What have I done to offend anyone?]
He glanced helplessly at the ministers behind him who were as silent as cicadas and frightened birds, and could not help complaining in his heart:
[Everyone...please protect your underwear...I...have done my best...]
A strong sense of tragedy and grandeur as "the wind is whistling and the Yi River is cold" arises spontaneously.
At this moment, a dark figure swept past the crowd like a gust of wind, striding towards the sedan chair that exuded resentment.
It’s Nangong Ye.
He was wearing a prince's python robe today, which made his posture look even more upright. His face was still stern, but in the depths of his eyes, a small flame of joy was clearly jumping.
He clearly caught the sentence "his brother seduced me in my dreams at night" and the accusation of "male vixen".
[It seems the little girl missed me very much last night.]
Nangong Ye was in a good mood, with the corners of his mouth curling up slightly, and in the frightened eyes of everyone, he reached out without hesitation and lifted the curtain of the sedan chair.
Inside, Dongfang Yuning lay in a small ball, reclining on a soft brocade cushion. She was dressed in the elaborate court dress of a princess, her head nodding slightly, her eyes barely open, misty and filled with the words, "Who am I? Where am I? I'm so sleepy."
Her pink little mouth was pouting unconsciously, and her cheeks still had a blush (half from anger, half from shame). She looked like a kitten that was forcibly taken out of its nest, its fur ruffled and it was extremely sleepy.
"Ning'er,"
Nangong Ye's voice was low and had a strange soothing power, interrupting the resentment broadcast that was playing in a loop.
"arrive."
He leaned over and, with extremely natural and gentle movements, helped the limp, exhausted little person out of the sedan chair.
Dongfang Yuning's soul was obviously still playing chess with Zhou Gong. Half of his body was not in place and his feet were weak. When Nangong Ye supported him like this, he almost fell limply into his arms.
[Hmm… So sleepy… So warm… The vixen’s chest… So comfortable…]
In a daze, the instinct of dependence overcame her embarrassment. She even unconsciously rubbed her little face against the fabric of Nangong Ye's chest, found a more comfortable position to lean on, and closed her eyes again.
System 118:
[Beep! Detected host entering energy-saving standby mode. Danger warning: You are throwing yourself into the arms of your male vixen at the entrance to the court.]
The system sounded the alarm in time, but unfortunately someone was too sleepy to automatically block the call.
This unconcerned embrace made the surrounding ministers collectively gasp and their eyes nearly pop out of their heads!
[Oh my god! Princess Fuxing threw herself into Prince Yong's arms in public!]
[And... and rubbed it?! ]
Prince Yong didn't actually freeze the person into an ice sculpture?! He even...protected him with his hands?! And his eyes were quite gentle?!
[I must be hallucinating because I didn’t sleep well last night! Yes! It must be a hallucination!]
Nangong Ye ignored the gazes from around him. He steadily supported the sleepy little drunken cat in his arms, letting her stand against him. Then, half-carrying and half-supporting her, he walked into the Golden Throne Hall as if no one was around, under the baptism of countless shocked, awed, and gossipy gazes.
Nangong Yu sat on the dragon throne, looking at his sister-in-law who looked like she had been drained of her energy by a demon, and then looking at his brother's calm (even a little proud) attitude, thinking that it was him who got him into trouble and he was responsible. He felt the veins on his forehead throbbing again.
He waved his hand feebly:
[Alright, stop looking! Everyone, return to your positions! Protect... ahem, and get ready for the meeting!]
Nangong Ye placed Dongfang Yuning on the exclusive, luxurious little stool with thick cushions under the imperial steps.
Seeing her wobbling as she sat down, with her little head moving slowly as if it might fall over at any moment, he frowned slightly.
He raised his eyes, his gaze fixed squarely on his brother on the throne. His expression was clear:
[Royal brother, she can't do this, she will fall.]
Nangong Yu: “…”
He understood the meaning in his brother's eyes, and looking at his sister-in-law who looked so sleepy that her soul was out of her body, he nodded resignedly and very slightly.
Come on, don’t expect my sister-in-law to be a sober mascot at today’s court meeting. It’ll be a success if she can sit still without falling!
After getting permission, Nangong Ye turned around without hesitation and walked directly to Dongfang Yuning's small stool, just standing there!
His tall, upright figure was like a protective mountain, blocking any possible fall. His position during court today had temporarily become Princess Fuxing's fall prevention specialist!
Ministers: "..."
My heart was hit by another 10,000 critical points!
[Prince Yong! Do you still remember that you are Dayan's God of War, the cold-faced living king of hell?! The way you stand now, this posture, you look exactly like... a large human-shaped pillow + anti-fall guardrail?!]
Three views are impacted again!
Dongfang Yuning was completely oblivious to this. She simply felt a warmth close to her, a sense of security and reliability. She shifted into a more comfortable (and crooked) position, her chin resting on her small hand, her eyelids heavy as if filled with lead.
[I'm so sleepy... so bored... I really want to sleep... my brother-in-law's voice is like a lullaby...]
Her inner voice finally switched from resentment mode to confused mumbling mode.
System 118:
[Host! Host! Wake up! If you keep sleeping, your image will change from a lucky star to a sleepy god! Wake up! It's time to earn points!]
The system finally couldn't stand it anymore and sent out a sharp electronic blast in her mind! It was comparable to an alarm clock!
[Ugh…it’s so noisy…Tongzi…let me sleep for another 2 minutes…]
Dongfang Yuning struggled in his consciousness.
System 118:
[Two minutes? The daylilies are cold! Look! Today's melons are big and round! Guaranteed to wake you up instantly! Here comes the appetizer!]
The system used its trump card.
【melon? 】
These two words were like a shot of adrenaline, instantly piercing Dongfang Yuning's deep sleepiness! She suddenly shuddered and forced open her heavy eyelids. Her misty eyes tried to focus, with an urgent feeling of "Where is the melon? Give it to me quickly!"
[Quick! Where is it? What's that?]
She urged herself in her mind, and her spirits visibly lifted.
System 118:
[Target locked: Three-dynasty veteran, Lord Li Gang! Host, take a closer look. Is there anything… unusual about his court attire today?]
The system guides you to watch the show.
Dongfang Yuning rubbed his eyes, tried to cheer himself up, and his gaze, like a searchlight, shot accurately at the old man Li Gang, who was standing in the front row of the civil servants, with white hair and beard, and was known for his uprightness and toughness!
This is amazing!
Today, Lord Li was still wearing the dark purple first-grade court robe with a crane patch that symbolized his status. He stood straight, trying hard to maintain the dignity of a veteran of three dynasties.
However… the front and cuffs of the court robe, which should have been solemn and meticulously crafted, were actually covered in several… dark and light… oil stains?!
Especially on the chest, the shape of the oil stain looks exactly like a ferocious... abstract greasy chicken?!
【puff…】
Dongfang Yuning almost couldn't help laughing out loud, and quickly covered her mouth with her hands. Her big eyes were instantly filled with curiosity and gossip.
[Eh? Master Li, was he having a bit of an intense breakfast? Did he throw some grease on his clothes? And the placement of the grease... is quite artistic. Like... like an angry chicken?]
She tried hard to hold back her laughter and complained to the system in her mind.
System 118:
[Hahaha! Host, you've only revealed half the truth! But this isn't just a simple meal with fat thrown away! This is a mark of love! Angry love!]
The system's electronic sound was filled with gloating.
[Scanning Madam Li Gang's emotional record: Last night, Madam Li spent a fortune on Yueji Pavilion's latest limited edition—a 'Phoenix Flying' silk bellyband and matching panties, a priceless treasure! After putting them on, she deliberately displayed them in front of Master Li, asking expectantly, "Master, does it look good?"]
The system recreates the scene vividly.
Dongfang Yuning's eyes widened even more:
[And then? And then? What did Lord Li say?]
My passion for eating melons is burning! No sleepiness at all!
System 118:
Then, our lifelong upright old man, Mr. Li, put down the ancient book in his hand, adjusted his reading glasses, and looked closely at it for a moment. Then... his brows furrowed, and he asked a soul-searching question: Madam, this phoenix embroidered with gold thread... doesn't it... doesn't it prick people?
The system imitated Li Gang's serious and confused tone perfectly.
【Hahahahahahahahaha!!!】
Dongfang Yuning burst into earth-shattering laughter in her mind and almost slipped off the stool! Fortunately, Nangong Ye next to her was quick-witted and reached out to support her from behind without making a sound.
She quickly bit her lower lip tightly, but her shoulders couldn't help shaking wildly, and her little face turned red!
[Isn't it...not painful? Hahahaha! Lord Li! You...you really are...a living fossil in the world of straight men! Hahahaha! Didn't Madam Li faint from anger on the spot?!]
System 118:
[Dizzy? Not really.]
The system's tone changed, with deep sympathy
Madam Li was furious! According to the system's monitoring of decibels and the sound of objects breaking, Madam Li smashed a priceless vase from the imperial kiln of the previous dynasty on the spot and angrily berated Lord Li: "Utter wood! Blockhead! An old stubborn man who doesn't understand romance!" And then... the climax came!
The system deliberately kept it a secret.
【Hurry up and tell me! 】
Dongfang Yuning was so anxious that he stamped his feet in his heart, his eyes shining like searchlights, staring at the oil stain on Li Gang's court robe that looked most like an "angry chicken".
System 118:
[And then, this morning, Madam Li used this newly washed and ironed, brand new, first-grade court robe, a symbol of Lord Li's lifelong glory and majesty... as an apron!]
The system spoke each word with great force.
【A… an apron?!】
Dongfang Yuning was so shocked that her mouth opened into an O shape.
System 118:
[That's right! Madam Li, wearing this 'genuine first-class crane apron', personally cooks under the desperate gaze of Master Li! Frying, stir-frying, and deep-frying! The smoke billows!]
Pay special attention to the areas—the crane patch on the chest and the cuffs! Especially when frying the spicy chicken, which is Master Li's favorite, the oil splashes so evenly!
Such enthusiasm! Lord Li followed Madam the entire time, a mournful look on his face, his pleading voice pathetically: "Madam! You can't do that! That's court attire! Not an apron! It's Your Majesty's grace! It's the honor of the court, Madam!"
The system imitated Li Gang's crying plea perfectly.
What was the result?
Dongfang Yuning couldn't wait.
System 118:
The result? Madam Li cooked the spicy diced chicken to a delicious aroma, and she ate it to her heart's content. Then, she threw the apron, a work of art crafted with love and oil smoke, to the weeping Lord Li with a blank expression: "Here, your proper apron. Put it on and go to court."
System summary statement,
[So, host, what you see isn't an oil stain. It's the painful price Lord Li paid for his lack of understanding of romance! It's Madam Li's angry artistic creation! It's the blood and tears medal of a straight man!]
[Hahahahahahahahahahaha!!! The price of being romantic is an apron and court gown? Hahahaha! Madam Li is so majestic! Well done! Hahahaha!]
Dongfang Yuning rolled around laughing in her mind, tears almost streaming down her face! She couldn't help herself any longer, and suddenly buried her head in her arms, her shoulders shaking like sieves, and a suppressed "grunting" sound like a little mouse gnawing on wood could be clearly heard.
The entire Golden Palace was in deathly silence!
All the ministers, including Nangong Yu who was sitting on the dragon throne, all focused their eyes on Dongfang Yuning, who was trying hard to suppress his laughter and whose shoulders were shaking violently. Then, they all looked at old Lord Li Gang, who was standing in the hall with his body as stiff as iron and his face turning from red to blue, from blue to purple, and finally to the color of liver, with great sympathy and a hint of gloating that was hard to conceal!
Li Gang: “…”
He felt like a monkey being stripped naked and roasted on a fire! Those gazes were more dazzling than the sunlight outside the temple!
He wanted to dig a hole in the ground and crawl into it immediately! Especially the "Angry Chicken" oil stain on his chest, which seemed to be burning at this moment, burning his heart!
[Madam…you…you are trying to kill me! My lifelong reputation…is ruined in an instant! Wuuuuu…]
The old man's heart was filled with tears and his body was shaking.
Although the other ministers lowered their heads, their wildly shaking shoulders, tightly pursed lips, flushed cheeks, and the intermittent, suppressed "puffing" sounds like a leaking bellows completely betrayed them!
The entire hall was filled with an atmosphere of intense joy that was about to cause internal injuries (for Li Gang, it would mean social death).
Nangong Yu sat on the dragon throne, put a fist to his lips, and coughed violently, trying to hide the wildly raised corners of his mouth and the smile that he could hardly hold back.
He glanced at Li Gang's artistic court robes, then looked at his sister-in-law's shoulders that were shaking like a vibrating pattern, and his mind was frantically scrolling through his mind:
[Puff… cough cough… Lord Li… you’ve worked so hard… Madam Li… cough cough… you’re truly a heroine! My sister-in-law, this melon… keep it ripe! Keep it sweet! It’s just that I’m a bit of a useless old minister… cough cough…]
Nangong Ye, who was standing next to Dongfang Yuning, looked down at the little fox in his arms, who was laughing so hard that his whole body was shaking, as if he had successfully stolen some meat. His cold eyebrows softened unbelievably.
He reached out his hand and, naturally and comfortingly, patted her back gently to prevent her from laughing so hard that she almost choked. That gesture was filled with silent indulgence and doting.
[Hahahaha… Tongzi… I can’t take it anymore… My stomach hurts… Lord Li… This is too bad… Hahahaha…]
Dongfang Yuning laughed and wailed in his mind at the same time.
System 118:
[Beep! Host's pleasure level detected! Points +100! Li Gang's social death value +10086! Friendly reminder: Please control the volume, Master Li looks like he's about to faint.]
The system calmly reported the "battle results".
Finally, Dongfang Yuning had enough of laughing and raised her head from the crook of her arms. Her face was as red as a ripe apple from the lack of oxygen and the lack of laughter. Tears of laughter still hung in the corners of her eyes, and her big, watery eyes were surprisingly bright.
She cleared her throat and tried to put on a serious expression, but the slightly upturned corners of her mouth and the bright eyes made her look like a little fox who had just stolen some candy.
She looked at Li Gang, who was still frozen in place, wishing he could disappear, with a "sincere" look, and spoke in a clear voice that was innocent, a little curious (but actually full of mischief):
"Master Li,"
The sound was not loud, but it instantly attracted the attention of the entire hall.
"The court robes you're wearing today... hmm... are quite distinctive! Is the pattern on the chest a specially commissioned painting of a world of fireworks? The implication is to delve into the people and understand their sentiments? Truly... ingenious! Unique! So impressive!"
As she spoke, she nodded seriously, as if she was appreciating a peerless work of art.
Li Gang: “!!!”
He nearly spat out a mouthful of blood! A fireworks display?! Something unique?! His vision went dark, and his body swayed. Only thanks to the quick help of his colleague next to him did he avoid fainting on the spot!
[Princess Fuxing! You…you are murderous and heartbreaking! This old man…this old man…]
He pointed at Dongfang Yuning with trembling fingers, and was so angry that he couldn't utter a word.
"puff--"
“Cough cough cough!”
“Puff—hahaha!”
At this point, the whole hall couldn't contain its excitement! Someone burst out laughing first, and then, like a powder keg, the long-suppressed laughter erupted like a flood, instantly engulfing the entire Golden Throne Hall! Even Nangong Yu, sitting on the dragon throne, couldn't help but slap the dragon table and burst into laughter!
"Hahaha! A picture of fireworks and the human world! Princess, you have good eyesight!"
"Go deep into the people! Understand their sentiments! Lord Li is truly righteous and upright! Hahahaha!"
"Ingenious! Truly ingenious! Madam Li... ahem... excellent craftsmanship!"
The ministers were laughing so hard, tears streaming down their faces, that they no longer cared about the dignity of the court! Old Master Li Gang's face had successfully evolved from liver color to a dark purple, and it seemed as if tangible green smoke was rising from his head.
He felt that his lifelong reputation, along with this court robe stained with "worldly smell", were nailed to the pillar of shame in Dayan's court!
Nangong Ye looked at the little fox beside him who "killed without bloodshed" and made the whole court laugh with just a few words, and the doting in his eyes almost overflowed.
He leaned slightly to the side, using his tall body to shield her from some of the overly "passionate" gazes. His deep voice, tinged with laughter, rang in her ears, so that only she could hear it:
"Naughty."
There was no blame in his tone, only indulgence.
Dongfang Yuning wrinkled his nose proudly at him, with a cunning glint in his big eyes, as if to say:
[Who made him so ignorant of romance that he angered his wife? He deserves it!]
An early morning court meeting that should have been serious was completely turned into a sea of joy (a disaster for Li Gang) due to Princess Fuxing's powerful melon-eating radar and precise "social death" attack.
The instigator, Dongfang Yuning, retired after completing her mission, sat back on her comfortable little stool, and yawned slightly.
[Tongzi, the appetizers are good. Do you have any more?]
She asked in her mind, alert and full of energy.
**System 118:
[Host, energy conservation. Lord Li has already contributed the largest melon of the day. Suggestion: Conserve your energy and wait for the next wave of melons to ripen. Or... look at that 'male vixen' next to you? His mood index is currently off the charts.]
System-friendly suggestions.
Hearing this, Dongfang Yuning subconsciously glanced at Nangong Ye, who was standing tall and straight like a pine tree with a faint smile on his lips.
Sunlight streamed through the palace door, casting a soft golden edge on his stern profile. As if sensing her gaze, he lowered his eyes slightly, his deep gaze accurately catching her peek. The smile in his eyes instantly deepened, carrying a kind of all-seeing, heart-racing tenderness.
【boom--】
Her face, which had just calmed down, instantly turned red again! She lowered her head like a frightened rabbit, and the deer in her heart began to dance wildly again:
[Ahhh! Tongzi! He's looking at me again! He's seducing me again! Vixen! He has no moral principles!] The sleepiness that had just dissipated seemed to be replaced by another, even more burning emotion.
Inside the Golden Palace, the laughter about Lord Li Gang's court robes in the "Fireworks and Human World" style was still echoing, but the sweet worries of the girl's heart had just begun.
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
