Chapter 79: The Little Fireworks of Destruction Unit-01
On the observatory, the wind was shivering.
The white marble railings encircled a group of Dayan's most powerful dignitaries, yet they now resembled quails being herded into a cage. The prime minister's beard had snapped off its fourth strand, the old prince's grandson's face had turned from purple to blue, and the generals' palms were wet with sweat as they clutched their belts.
Envoys from various countries mingled among them. Yamamoto, the short and stout envoy from Fuying Country, had a sinister gleam in his eyes as he rolled around; the eagle prince of the grassland had muscles as tight as rocks and his Adam's apple kept rolling; and the Hu merchants from the Western Regions shrank into their robes desperately, trying to reduce their presence.
The air was filled with the stench of sweat, incense, and an increasingly strong smell of urine (from some old ministers with extremely poor psychological qualities), which mixed and fermented, making people's brains ache.
All eyes, fearful, curious, malicious, and forced calm, were fixed on the object in the center of the platform.
The matte black metal creature, with lines so smooth that they were almost cruel, squatted there silently, like a dormant beast from another world.
The slowly rotating amethyst stone at the core is its cold single eye, indifferently scanning the people below the stage.
Dongfang Yuning, wearing a flaming red dress, leaned casually on her little cutie, and her slender fingers tapped the cold barrel of the gun from time to time, making a light "knock, knock" sound, and each sound accurately hit the hundreds of crazy beating heart valves in the observatory.
Emperor Nangong Yu, dressed in the most solemn crown with twelve chapter patterns, tried his best to straighten his back like a javelin, trying to suppress the whole audience with the majesty of the emperor.
Unfortunately, the trembling fingertips and the beads of sweat rolling down his forehead mercilessly betrayed the turmoil in his heart. He cleared his throat and raised his voice, trying to drown out the suppressed hum from the audience, but he couldn't hide the faintness of his last words:
"Silence!" He took a deep breath and risked his life. With a strange sense of pride, as if "my daughter has grown up (even though she has grown into a weapon of destruction)," he pointed at the black turret.
"This is a national treasure developed with the painstaking efforts of my sister-in-law, Princess Fuxing, future consort of Prince Yong, Miss Dongfang Yuning! A truly remarkable treasure that will... uh... astound the world and bring glory to the great prestige of our Great Yan nation! Today, I invite you all to enjoy this... 'fireworks spectacle'!"
"fireworks?"
"Set off fireworks on the observatory?"
"That evil star from the Dongfang family...what tricks is he playing this time?"
"That thing...is evil! I'm panicking and short of breath..."
"Look! Prince Battelle's forehead is sweating!"
"That Yamamoto from Fuying has a weird look in his eyes!"
The noise of discussion crackled like drops of water in a frying pan. Several of the older princes of the imperial clan, such as Prince Yu and Prince Su, who had always sneered at Dongfang Yuning, the "rebellious" and "lacking ladylike manners" future princess and had even secretly tried to stifle Empress Dongfang Wu, now had gloomy expressions, trying to maintain the dignity of their aristocratic families. Deep in their eyes lay a deep sense of suspicion and a lingering hint of contempt.
Heh.
An extremely clear thought, filled with thick sarcasm and murderous intent like icy chips, was like an invisible hammer, accurately and accurately smashing into the deep minds of all the powerful people of Yan Kingdom.
[A few old coffin-filled idiots, are their eyes almost rolling back to the back of their heads? Do you think I'm not virtuous enough? Do you think my "little craft" is not up to par?
Okay! I'll use this ladylike pleasure cannon later to open your eyes, old-timers! I'll let you experience for yourself what it means to be gentle and virtuous—and even your ashes will be scattered! In your next life, remember to find a rat hole that observes the rules!]
"hiss--!"
"She...what did she say? Ashes...scattered?!"
"Old idiots?! She...she called us old idiots?!"
"Next...next life? Rat hole?!"
Those old princes who were accurately named instantly became like cats whose tails were stepped on and then doused with boiling oil. Their faces turned from ashen blue to pale and then to liver-purple!
Prince Yu, with his beard and hair standing on end, was so angry that his whole body was shaking. His fingers trembled like a candle in the wind as he pointed at the glaring red on the stage:
"Arrogant...arrogant! This...this evil woman is bringing disaster to the country! She is simply...simply lawless!"
However, his timid roar seemed laughable and pale under the crushing force of Dongfang Yuning's icy, destructive spirit. Several of his accomplices were devastated by the words "ashes scattered." Their vision went black, and they only managed to stay afloat thanks to the support of their servants.
Nangong Yu's mouth twitched fiercely, and he wailed inwardly:
[Sister-in-law... your 'voice of the heart'... is truly... every word is heartbreaking, every sentence is fatal!]
He quickly gave a wink to the eunuch chief who was sweating profusely beside him, fearing that Prince Yu would faint on the spot.
Nangong Ye stood quietly beside Dongfang Yuning, like her most loyal shadow. He clearly "heard" her explosive thoughts, and also felt the sudden surge of panic in the audience and the gloating over the misfortune of those old princes.
His handsome face still wore that perfect mask of gentleness and affection, but a hint of cold sternness flashed through the depths of his eyes. When he glanced at those old princes, it was as if he was looking at a few unsightly corpses.
He concealed the coldness in his eyes, and took out the starter key inlaid with amethyst from his precious bosom. He held it in both hands and handed it to Dongfang Yuning with an almost pious and doting attitude. His voice was low and gentle, with an inextricable sweetness:
"Ning'er, the auspicious time has arrived. Here is the key, be careful... there may be some backlash."
He spoke the last few words very softly, with a barely perceptible hint of worry that was only for her.
Dongfang Yuning didn't even look at him, casually picking up the key as if it were a candy bean. Her bright eyes cast towards the distant horizon, accurately locking onto a coordinate - the edge of the area where Yunjiang's group of scum were entrenched, a vast, desolate Gobi desert.
【Tongzi! 】
She rubbed her hands excitedly in her mind (thought),
[Target locked! The super-invincible Gobi next door to Yunjiang! Hit me! Warm up first, practice!]
[Ding! The host's aura of majesty and dominance is radiating! Target locked: XX degrees XX minutes north latitude, XX degrees XX minutes east longitude (the Super Invincible Gobi Desert)! 'World-annihilating Fireworks Unit-01' final activation sequence activated! Energy core: full power! Annihilation field: full on! Trans-dimensional channel: construction complete!]
The system's electronic sound was as excited as a loud speaker that had been injected with chicken blood.
[Countdown 3…2…1…Ignition! Send them to see the chaos before Pangu created the universe! Rest assured, host! 98% guaranteed to be rock solid! Deviation? That won't happen! The effect will absolutely blow the heavens apart! I guarantee you'll be blown away!]
"Practice...practice?!"
Nangong Ye's heart suddenly skipped a beat under his perfect mask, and his vision went dark for a fraction of a second.
[Grandfather! This thing is for training?! Then what are you planning to use for the official version? The beams of the Lingxiao Palace?!]
He forced himself to calm down, and the look he gave Dongfang Yuning became more gentle and doting, as if she was just going to release an ordinary Kongming lantern.
As the system countdown returned to zero, Dongfang Yuning's mouth curled up into an evil arc, and he exerted force on his wrist, thrusting the key containing the power to destroy the world into the base of the gun!
“Buzz——!!!”
A terrifying buzzing sound, so low that it exceeded the limit of human hearing and struck the depths of the soul, like the world-destroying sigh of the Nine Nether Demon God, instantly exploded from the inside of the cannon!
Everyone on the observatory, regardless of their status, felt at this moment that their internal organs were being grasped and rubbed madly by an invisible giant hand!
Blood flowed backward, breathing stagnated! The dark amethyst at the core of the cannon suddenly burst out with an indescribable, unbearable light!
That's not light!
It is the end of color! It is the deprivation of existence!
The instant the bright light flashed, the world lost its color! The observatory, the people below, the eaves of the distant palace, the clear sky above... everything within sight was instantly and brutally stripped of all color, transforming into a pure, dead, and despairing black and white gray!
It was as if the whole world had pressed the mute and fade buttons, solidifying into a horrifying portrait!
Immediately afterwards, an "existence" that could not be described in human language tore through the constraints of the laws of space and violently burst out from the muzzle!
It wasn't a beam of light, but more like... a hideous wound in space itself, ripped open by an invisible giant claw! This wound presented a strange, soul-shaking "multicolored black"—
You can sense that it contains all the violent colors of the beginning of the universe, but they are not harmoniously blended. Instead, they are madly twisted, torn apart, and annihilated against the background of the deepest and most desperate darkness!
Wherever it passed, space emitted a sharp, tooth-grinding shriek, like glass about to shatter completely! Light was mercilessly devoured and distorted! The concept of time became blurred!
This existence, representing the ultimate destruction, was not directed at the common people below the observatory. Instead, it tore through the barriers of space at a speed beyond imagination, instantly crossed an endless distance, and accurately disappeared beyond the distant horizon!
Dead silence!
Absolute, suffocating silence, as if even the heart has stopped beating!
Everyone was shaken to their core by the instantaneous "fading" and the terrifying shock to their souls! Their minds went blank! Even the instinct to scream was completely stripped away!
Time seemed to have stood still for billions of years.
Boom boom boom——!!!!!!
A terrifying roar, so dull that it seemed to come from the depths of the earth's core, causing the entire observatory to tremble slightly, was like a belated death knell of doom, rolling in from the distant sky with the power to destroy the world!
At the same time, over the ancient and desolate Gobi Desert next to Yunjiang.
A "ball of light" whose size, brightness and destructiveness are indescribable, expands silently but domineeringly!
First, there was an extreme, soul-blinding blazing white! Then, within a ten-thousandth of a second, this white strangely transformed into an all-consuming, absolute, deep, pitch-black darkness from which not even light could escape!
In this core of destruction where black and white are intertwined and expanding madly, the heart-pounding "colorful black" flashes again, as if the world-destroying demon god opened a playful and cold eye, looking down at the land of ants that is about to be turned into dust!
No smoke! No shockwaves (in the conventional sense)! Only the purest, most violent release of energy! Complete annihilation at the level of laws!
Wherever the light reaches, the thick sand and gravel deposited over billions of years, the rock layers as hard as iron, and even the structure of space itself, are all silently...annihilated!
Transformed into the most primitive and chaotic energy particles! A gigantic pit, nearly two hundred miles in diameter, with mirror-smooth edges and a bottom brimming with the luster of multicolored glass, formed by the instantaneous cooling of molten high-temperature water, formed within a billionth of a second. Like the seal of divine punishment, it was deeply imprinted upon the chest of the vast earth!
On the observatory, everyone, including Emperor Nangong Yu, "saw" this devastating scene with incredible clarity.
It was not with the naked eye, but the bombardment that tore through space, projecting the reality of destruction directly into the depths of their souls like a brand!
Immerse yourself in the scene! Feel it! The power of destruction and the scene of the collapse of laws are deeply imprinted in everyone's bones!
“Plop!”
"Plop! Plop! Plop!"
As if being swept by an invisible scythe, groups of people collapsed to the ground, with feces and urine flowing everywhere.
The Prince Yu, who had been so stubborn before, now had his eyes bulging out of their sockets, his mouth wide open enough to fit a goose egg, and a stream of warm, smelly liquid uncontrollably gushed down the trouser legs of his python robe, quickly gathering into a glaring puddle on the smooth white marble floor.
A "ho...ho..." sound like a broken bellows came from his throat. He pointed at the red, devil-like figure on the stage and wanted to roar "Evil weapon! Witchcraft!", but he could only squeeze out a few broken syllables. What was left was only boundless fear and a cold and sticky despair in his lower body.
“Ahhhh!!!”
The Imperial Censor Wang, who was well-known in the court and the country for his uprightness (and foul mouth), let out a howl so shrill that it did not sound like a human voice. His crotch was instantly soaked, his eyes rolled back, and he foamed at the mouth. He fell backwards like a felled wooden stake, hitting the ground with a "bang", and it was unknown whether he was alive or dead.
Prince Bater of the Golden Horde, the eagle from the steppes, this warrior who could tear tigers and leopards apart and slay wolves, now felt his knees shattered by a mighty hammer. With a resounding thud, he fell heavily to his knees on the cold stone surface! His hard forehead slammed down, his skin instantly ripped open and blood streamed.
He suddenly raised his head, his face devoid of the arrogance of a grassland lord. Only the most primitive, boundless awe of absolute power and deep-seated fear remained. His voice was hoarse like sandpaper grinding iron:
"Eternal Heaven! Supreme Goddess of Destruction and Creation! Bater... on behalf of all the tribes of the Golden Horde, we offer you two hundred thousand of the most delicious cattle and sheep! Ten thousand fine horses! Thirty thousand ounces of gold! Twenty boxes of gems... gems! I only beg... I only beg you, the goddess, to have mercy! May your blessings... even a little... even a little benefit be bestowed upon the grasslands! The Golden Horde... shall be forever... forever subservient! We shall pay tribute year after year!"
The grassland warriors behind him had already prostrated themselves on the ground, their foreheads pressed against the ground, shaking like dry grass in the wind.
Yamamoto, the short and stout envoy from Fuying, was terrified to death! His crotch instantly soaked and swollen, and he collapsed to the ground like a puddle of foul-smelling mud, wailing shrilly and incoherently in Fuying dialect:
"Demon! The world-destroying demon! Yamata-no-Orochi! Amaterasu, save me! Fuying... Fuying is willing to lead the way for the goddess! I offer... I offer all my silver and my beauty! I only beg... I only beg the goddess to calm down! Spare... spare Fuying!"
After shouting, his head tilted and he completely fainted. A larger and more turbid water stain quickly spread under his body, and a foul smell filled the air.
Deathly silence descended once again, but this silence only lasted for a short moment before it was completely torn apart by another even more violent emotion!
After experiencing the initial, extreme soul shock and physiological incontinence, the Yan Kingdom's courtiers felt an unprecedented, almost insane sense of ecstasy and expansion, like a volcano suppressed for ten thousand years, erupting in their chests! All the fear and the smell of urine disappeared without a trace!
"Look... did you see that?! You old bastards!!"
Minister of War, Lord Li, was the first to jump up from the ground, his face flushed with excitement. He sprayed saliva like a rainstorm at the princes of the royal family who were limp on the ground, their crotches dripping with water. He pointed at the huge glass pit in the distance that was "branded" deep in their souls, and then stabbed fiercely at the black weapon and the proud and independent red figure on the stage. His voice was distorted with extreme excitement and pride.
"Prince Yu! Prince Su! And you old, dim-sighted old fools! Open your eyes and see clearly! This is the 'little fireworks' of the future Princess Yong of our Dayan Kingdom!"
This is the "little skill" you're calling "unbecoming" and "harmful to the nation and the people"! Huh?! Speak up! Where's that bossy, senior-minded attitude just now?!
You must have been scared to death by the goddess’ gentle and virtuous demeanor! Hahaha! So satisfying! So damn satisfying!
He was so excited that he stamped his feet hard, as if to bury all the frustrations he had felt for many years into the ground.
“Divine power! This is the divine power of Heaven blessing Dayan!”
The Minister of Revenue, that fat man with a big belly, was so excited that his fat flesh was undulating happily. He waved his fat hands and shouted at the top of his lungs.
"Great bombing! Wonderful bombing! Those blind bastards were blown to pieces! Princess Fuxing is mighty! The Great Yan Kingdom will prosper forever!
From now on, I'll see who dares to show any disrespect to my Dayan! My Queen! You are my Dayan's pillar of support!
"The purple gold beam that spans the sea! No! You are the divine needle that stabilizes the sea! The thunder that destroys the world!"
He was so excited that he almost couldn't breathe.
"The Sea-stabilizing Needle! The World-destroying Thunder!"
A group of young officials were filled with passion, as if they had been injected with chicken blood. They raised their arms and cheered wildly, looking at Dongfang Yuning with fanatical, almost religious admiration. The fear they had before had long been crushed by the inflated feeling of "I am a strong Chinese"!
They even deliberately squeezed in beside those princes who looked ashen and smelled foul, bumped into them with their shoulders, and taunted them in a sinister way:
"Oh, Prince Yu, your Jing'ruifuxiang top-grade brocade dragon robe... Tsk tsk, what a shame for such good ingredients, they've all been marinated!"
"That's right! Prince Su, didn't you just say that the princess's stuff was a bit of a gimmick, not worthy of being in a refined hall? Now, are you satisfied with the power of this refined hall? Is it elegant enough? Is it classy enough?"
"Not satisfied? That's okay! Princess Fuxing is so sincere. She just said this is just a warm-up and practice! The next official version will be twice as powerful! And it will also have a colorful glare effect!
"Your Highness, your family's fiefdom is beautiful with picturesque scenery. How about...inviting the princess to go to your place and set off a big fireworks display to celebrate your passing? I guarantee your name will go down in history! Whether you'll be infamous...oh no, your reputation will live on forever! Hahaha!"
"Hahaha! May our fame last forever!"
Those princes, especially Prince Yu and Prince Su, whose crotches were soaked and emitting a foul smell, were squeezed and humiliated to the point of turning pale. Their lips trembled as they wanted to refute, to scold, to maintain the last bit of royal dignity.
But when he looked up and saw the red-dressed figure on the stage and the black turret beside her that exuded a terrifying aura, all the words were stuck in his throat, leaving only boundless fear, shame deep in his bones, and a despair that made him wish he could die immediately.
The entire observatory was clearly divided. On one side, the Yan Kingdom's courtiers were so proud and elated, their nostrils rising to the sky, cheering and mocking with enthusiasm; on the other side, the Yan Kingdom's courtiers were so proud and elated, cheering and mocking with enthusiasm, their nostrils rising to the sky ...,
On the other side, the envoys and spies from various countries were pale, trembling like sieves, and pissing in extreme fear (Fuying envoy Yamamoto was still unconscious in a pool of urine), as well as the miserable situation of several royal princes who were living a life worse than death and wanted to commit suicide to apologize to the world.
Dongfang Yuning, the instigator of all this, slightly frowned. She reached out her specially gloved hand and gently stroked the still-warm heat from the barrel. She then looked at the core crystal, whose light had noticeably dimmed. She smacked her lips.
【Tsk.】
An extremely clear thought, with obvious technical nitpicking and dissatisfaction, once again accurately entered the minds of all the dignitaries of the Yan Kingdom.
[A 98% success rate? Tongzi, are you secretly taking kickbacks? Are the data falsified? The Gobi is a crater, and the glass surface is quite smooth, but the edges are still not round enough!]
Not perfect! The shockwave's radius was 8.5 percent smaller than expected! The annihilation depth was at least ten feet shallower! The core temperature peak was less than 70% of the theoretical value!
Bad review! This has to be a bad review! The official version has to be stronger! I'm going to get uranium ore purity up to 99.9999%! I'm going to go through five more drafts of the rune circuit optimization plan!
The energy conduit has been upgraded to a star-core annihilation alloy! Next time, I'll have to blow up a massive, dazzling, multicolored glaze pit starting at three hundred miles, with an absolutely perfectly rounded edge and a bottom that can act as a mirror and reflect a person's reflection! This is art! This is what it means to dominate the scene!]
Next...next time?!
Official version?!
Power...increase in strength?!
Uranium ore purity…99.9999%?!
Rune Circuit…Fifth draft?!
Star core...annihilation alloy? !
Three hundred miles... colorful glass... dazzling light... a huge pit?!
The ministers of the Yan State, who had just been immersed in ecstasy and the inflated feeling of "Dayan's invincibility", had their cheers and ridicules snuffed out in an instant as if by an invisible giant hand!
The red glow on the face of Minister of War Li faded away, turning as pale as paper, and his calves began to cramp.
The fat hand of the Minister of Revenue froze in mid-air, his fat flesh stopped undulating, and his whole body deflated visibly like a punctured balloon.
The fanatical admiration on the faces of the young officials instantly broke and turned into horror.
"puff--!"
Upon hearing the tragic news, the Imperial Censor Wang, who had just been revived by being pinched on the Ren Zhong point, vomited another mouthful of boiling hot blood, and the air was filled with blood mist. He fell straight down again, and this time he was completely motionless.
"Princess! Think twice! Think twice!"
The Prime Minister could no longer hold back his tears, and with a plop he fell to his knees. He took two steps on his knees towards Dongfang Yuning, his voice as shrill as a cuckoo crying blood.
"Gobi...Gobi, it exploded into a round shape! Very round! Rounder than the full moon! The power...the power is earth-shattering! It's definitely more than enough to intimidate those villains! It absolutely...absolutely doesn't need to be strengthened, Your Majesty! And it certainly doesn't need...the colorful glare! That...that would waste too much materials! The treasury...the treasury is empty!"
He wanted to rush over and hug Dongfang Yuning's boots and cry for mercy. What Dinghaishenzhen, the world-destroying thunderbolt? Now he just wanted to ask this lady to withdraw her magical powers!
"Yes, yes, yes! It's artistic! It's so artistic! There's no one like it before and there will be no one like it after!"
"Princess, calm down! The power is just right! It couldn't be better!"
"Your Majesty! Prince Yong! Quickly...quickly persuade the princess! Dayan...Dayan can't bear the Three Hundred Mile Seven-Colored Pit!"
The courtiers who had just been mocking the princes and looking down on the emperor suddenly turned their spearheads against them, crying for their parents and kowtowing towards Dongfang Yuning. Their cries of wailing and begging for mercy merged into a sea of despair.
The balloon that had expanded to the extreme was instantly punctured by the two super steel needles, the "Star Core Annihilation Alloy" and the "Three Hundred Miles Seven-Colored Pit", blowing them to pieces!
Prince Bater of the grassland was so frightened that his soul flew away. He rolled and crawled forward, holding up the tribute list that was already soaked with sweat with trembling hands, and his voice was full of tears and cracks:
"Supreme Goddess! The grasslands... the grasslands are willing to add another hundred thousand cattle and sheep! Five thousand fine horses! Fifty thousand ounces of gold! Gems... thirty boxes of gems! One hundred beautiful virgins! I only beg... I only beg the goddess... to calm down for a moment... for a moment! The dazzling light of the seven-colored glass... the grasslands of Changshengtian... really... really can't bear it! I beg the goddess to have mercy!"
The followers behind him had already kowtowed until their foreheads were covered in blood, and the ground was stained with blood.
Amidst the howling of ghosts and wolves, the streaming of tears, and the grassland prince's "country-shattering" tribute list, Nangong Ye slowly and deeply took a breath of the complex air that was a mixture of strong urine smell, blood, sweat, tears, and despair.
He looked at his fiancée's beautiful profile, which was slightly dissatisfied and was thinking seriously about where the "Star Core Annihilation Alloy" came from. Then he felt the fear and despair that was spreading around him again, a hundred times stronger than before, coming from the depths of his soul, especially the eyes of his ministers who were about to collapse.
His handsome face still wore an extremely doting smile that could have drowned thousands of girls. She was just worrying about what to eat for dinner.
However, deep in his eyes, where no one could see, a bone-chilling cold light flashed by, like ten-thousand-year-old black ice, and when it swept across the old princes who were lying in a pool of urine with resentful eyes, a trace of cruel murderous intent quietly grew.
He gently took Dongfang Yuning's hand and gently stroked her slightly cold fingers, his voice so soft that it could drip water:
"If Ning'er likes it, then it's good. Want the Three Hundred Mile Seven-Colored Pit? Okay, Brother Aye will help you find a place. Star Core Annihilation Alloy? Hmm... Although it's a bit difficult to find, but Ning'er wants it, I will find it for you even at the ends of the earth."
The tone was gentle, but it carried a heart-pounding, unquestionable paranoia.
Heh.
A thought that was a mixture of extreme pampering and cold iron blood was swirling in Nangong Ye's heart.
[If Ning'er wants to play, then let her have as much fun as she wants. As for those annoying old things... and those scum who don't know how to live or die and dare to set their sights on the Empress's wife and Ning'er... wait until Ning'er has had enough of the fireworks... then I'll play with you... slowly, slowly.]
The look he gave Dongfang Yuning was so gentle that it could melt ice and snow, as if the cruel murderous intent just now had never existed.
Emperor Nangong Yu, the emperor of the highest rank, at this moment looked like a local tycoon who had obtained a rare treasure. Looking at the weeping ministers, the frightened envoys, and especially those old princes who usually looked down on the emperor but were now lying in a pool of urine, he felt so happy in his heart!
He tried hard to keep a straight face and maintain the dignity of an emperor, but he couldn't hide the slightly upturned corners of his mouth and the pride that was almost overflowing from his eyes.
[Explode! Explode hard! My sister-in-law is awesome! Let's see who dares to challenge my Wu'er, my sister-in-law, or my Great Yan Kingdom! What Fuying? What grassland? They're all scum! My sister-in-law is my national magic cannon!]
He stroked his nonexistent beard with pride, looking at Dongfang Yuning with eyes filled with the boundless pride and pride of "my daughter has grown up (grown into a murderous weapon)." As for the national treasury? Materials? What is that? Are my sister-in-law's fireworks important? No!
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