The children listened quietly to Xu Ru's story. Seeing their earnest eyes, Xu Ru smiled and said, "I asked my grandmother why she had to marry me off to such a faraway place. She said she thought my in-laws were very good and that I would definitely live a good life with them. She also said that after I married into the family, I would be with my husband, and we would be a separate family. We would have children and grow up together, just like our family, eventually becoming a large family."
Even Xu Rao listened very attentively this time. He thought that the old lady was very wise. He never expected that she could teach a young girl who was about to be married so carefully. You know, at that time, even Madam Wu was proud because her eldest daughter was going to marry the eldest son of Daiyue Academy. She never paid attention to whether Xu Ru was afraid because she was going to get married, or whether she could adapt to an environment so far away from home.
Xu Ru said, “Children, the words my grandmother said to me have benefited me for decades. It was because of my grandmother’s words that I happily married into Tai’an, had children with my husband, and lived a good life with our children. My husband and I also worked hard to run the family academy. I felt that my life was very comfortable.”
Xu Rao couldn't help but applaud Xu Ru's words. Xu Di immediately realized what was happening and joined in the applause. Then it was Xu Bai's turn. The children were stunned for a moment, and then they all clapped along.
Xu Rao raised her palm and gently pressed it down, saying, "Children, your aunt is right. When children grow up, they will eventually have to leave their parents and learn to grow up slowly. In the future, you will be like us, watching your children leave home and leave their parents, just like you are now."
Zhang Yukang said, "Uncle, isn't it said that 'one should not travel far while one's parents are alive'?"
Xu Rao smiled and said, "There is another saying after this one, which is 'Travel must have a method.' Actually, the ancient sage did not mean that one should not travel far, but that one should pay attention to the methods and approaches when traveling far."
The children were even more interested after hearing this, and kept shouting, "Uncle, Uncle, tell us quickly, or Third Uncle, what's the way?"
Giving lectures is Professor Xu's specialty. Zhang Zhaoci and Xu Di both smiled as they watched Xu Rao. Xu Rao took a sip of tea, closed his eyes slightly, and then began to speak.
Xu Rao said, "Filial piety is a matter of course. We should serve our parents and take good care of them. As for the last sentence, it is to remind us that our parents are old and we should serve them every day. As for our parents are still young, as long as we arrange their lives, they can still go far away. After all, as parents, we still want to see our children become successful and accomplished. We don't want to see our children be mediocre and have no future."
Seeing the children deep in thought, Professor Xu, who advocates for inquiry-based teaching, asked Zhang Yukang, "Yukang, tell me, if it were you, how would you arrange this?"
Zhang Yukang said, "I can marry a wife and let her take care of me."
Upon hearing this, Xu Bai said, "Cousin Kang, your thinking is unacceptable. It's your own responsibility, why should others bear it for you?"
Zhang Yukang said, "Isn't serving one's parents-in-law what a daughter-in-law should do?"
Xu Bai said, "Yes, it is only right for other people to serve their parents-in-law, but what about you? You are the son, and you should fulfill your filial duties yourself."
Zhang Yukang said, "I didn't say I wouldn't fulfill my filial duties. I'm not saying that when I leave home, I'll leave the house to my wife and let her take care of my parents. She married into our family, so she's one of us. My parents are her parents too. Isn't it her duty to take care of them?"
Xu Bai said, "You ask your wife to treat your parents as your own, so what about your parents-in-law? Shouldn't you treat them as your own parents as well?"
Zhang Yukang said, "These are two different things, okay? What we are discussing now is how to arrange things for my parents while I am away on a trip. I just said that my wife should take care of things for me for the time being. When I come back, I will naturally fulfill my filial duty. As for the matter of being filial to my parents-in-law, they are elders, and I will naturally do my best to be filial to them."
Zhang Yukang wasn't led by the nose by Xu Bai, and his own thinking was very clear, which made Xu Rao look at him with new eyes. He had always thought Zhang Yukang was just chattering, but he didn't expect that Zhang Yukang actually had something in his head.
Everyone forgot about eating and watched Xu Bai and Zhang Yukang go back and forth. Xu Di chuckled softly and said, "What about your cousin-in-law and me? After we got married, we went to my aunt's house in Tai'an together. I didn't let your cousin-in-law stay to take care of your aunt and uncle for me. Isn't my arrangement inappropriate?"
Zhang Yukang looked at his aunt, then at his cousin-in-law Li Yuexi who was bowing her head, and finally at Xu Di. For a moment, he didn't know what to say. Yes, his cousin had gone to Tai'an with his cousin-in-law a few days after getting married. Zhang Yukang had also heard his mother say that his aunt and uncle were reasonable people and did not make their newlywed daughter-in-law stay to serve them like other families.
Seeing the growing doubt in Zhang Yukang's eyes as he pondered, Xu Rao smiled and said, "Kang-ge'er, nothing is absolute. What works for other people may not work for you, and what works for you may not work for others. The only way is to carefully analyze the situation after it happens and find the safest approach. As for how to analyze it, that depends on your own thinking."
Zhang Yukang said, "That's right. I don't have a wife now. My parents are in good health. They sent me out to learn a skill. Although it's a long journey, there are many servants at home, so they are naturally taken care of."
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