Chapter 13. Don't be so nervous about me.
The sharp blade accidentally cut her fingertip, shattering the momentary tranquility. Blood instantly gushed from her finger, staining a small patch of the cutting board red.
"Hiss." Gu Sui couldn't help but frown.
"You cut your hand!" Shang Shu turned around quickly upon hearing the noise and was startled by the pool of blood on the cutting board. Seeing that Gu Sui's hand was still bleeding uncontrollably, she immediately became anxious and her eyes reddened. She pulled Gu Sui's hand to the water to rinse it.
The cut was quite deep, and the cold water made the wound sting, but the equally cold hand on her wrist made her feel incredibly warm.
"It's alright." Gu Sui stared at her tense face, chuckling as he comforted her, as if the one who was injured was someone else, not himself.
She should have told her that this was just everyday food for someone who cooks often, but she refused to say it, only indulging in her concern and her heartache as if addicted.
"How can you be alright? You lost so much blood, and... and you touched raw meat. We need to disinfect it quickly." Shang Shu turned off the water. Although she didn't cook, she still had this much common sense.
Just as she was about to ask the housekeeper for a first-aid kit, Gu Sui blocked her way with his other arm.
"Ah Shu, don't be so worried about me."
Otherwise... otherwise, she would really take it to heart.
Gu Sui braced herself on the sink, stubbornly holding Shang Shu in front of her. Her injured fingers were still dripping blood, which slid down the sink. Gu Sui naively thought that with their bodies so close, could they pretend that their hearts were the same?
"Gu Sui, stop fooling around." Shang Shu reached out and gently pushed her shoulder, but dared not use force for fear of accidentally hurting her hand.
With the distance between them, Gu Sui finally saw the tattoo on Shang Shu's wrist. She grabbed her wrist and saw a raised scar hidden beneath the blooming marigold.
"What is this?" Gu Sui's voice trembled slightly at the end.
Shang Shu struggled to free her wrist, trying to escape her grasp: "You bandage it first."
"Shang Shu, tell me what this is?" Gu Sui tightened his grip on her wrist, and the veins on the back of his hand bulged.
"Gu Sui, you're hurting me." Shang Shu winced in pain, frowning as she used all her strength to shake off her hand.
Seeing the red marks on her fair wrist, Gu Sui regained some of her composure. Blood flowed from her palm to her forearm, and she apologized helplessly, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I..."
Shang Shu had almost never seen her so out of control. She rubbed her aching wrist, grabbed a tissue and handed it to Gu Sui to press on and stop the bleeding: "Okay, you wait here, I'll go get the first-aid kit."
After saying that, he turned around and went to find the butler.
"Miss Shang, please wait a moment, I'll get it right away." Upon hearing the situation, the butler jogged off to find the first-aid kit.
Shang Shu walked out of Gu Sui's sight and leaned weakly against the wall. She looked down at her reddened wrist and sighed deeply.
When Shang Shu returned with her medicine kit, Gu Sui was staring blankly at a pool of blood. Shang Shu took out some iodine, dipped a cotton swab in it, and removed the tissue from her finger: "It looks better now. Just bear with it, the disinfection will hurt a little."
As she spoke, she gritted her teeth and applied the ointment. The wound was quite deep and looked shocking. Shang Shu's face twisted in pain as if it were her own. In contrast, Gu Sui didn't react much. He only flinched slightly when touched, and then his expression returned to normal.
She was more concerned about the long scar on Shang Shu's wrist than the small wound on her finger.
Although she wasn't a great cook, Shang Shu was confident in her handiwork as a jewelry designer, and she quickly bandaged Gu Sui's finger with gauze.
Seeing that she couldn't cook, Gu Sui called the housekeeper to continue, since the two of them couldn't go hungry. So while they waited, she pulled Shang Shu to sit on the sofa in the living room.
"you……"
"It was an accidental cut."
The two spoke at the same time. Shang Shu knew what she wanted to ask, and she had already prepared a less-than-perfect answer.
"Shang Shu, do you think I'm stupid?" Gu Sui said with slight anger.
Shang Shu didn't understand why she was so persistent, and even almost made a big fuss about it, so she also got angry: "Then what about you? And in what capacity do you care about me?"
Her voice trailed off with a barely perceptible sob.
Shang Shu didn't know why she asked the question, or why she agreed to go home with her in such a confused state, just as she still didn't know why Gu Sui left and why she came back.
Gu Sui looked into Shang Shu's bright eyes. She dared not be rash, she could not be rash, but the price of that was that she would not even have a name or title for her concern. Her heart ached as if a needle was slowly inserted and then quickly pulled out, but she could not utter a single word.
Looking into Gu Sui's sorrowful eyes, Shang Shu said with a bitter smile, "Gu Sui, since neither of us can give an answer, why make things difficult for each other?"
She slowly stood up and forced a smile at Gu Sui: "I won't eat."
After speaking, Shang Shu walked towards the door, but before she had taken two steps, she felt a weight on her back, and a warm breath mixed with the cool scent of white moss enveloped her.
"Friend!" Gu Sui wrapped his arms around her from behind, but afraid of hurting her like before, he asked in a trembling voice, "A-Shu, if we're friends, can I care about you?"
Shang Shu was slightly taken aback, seemingly not expecting Gu Sui to give this answer. She didn't lack friends, and she had no interest in being friends with her ex, but when facing Gu Sui, she couldn't bring herself to say the words of refusal.
She sighed, as if acknowledging her new identity, and said softly, "Do friends hug like this?"
Upon hearing this, Gu Sui hurriedly withdrew her hand, afraid of irritating Shang Shu. She seemed to be able to remain rational and calm in everything, but she couldn't do that when facing Shang Shu, because she knew better than anyone what it would mean if she missed out again.
The two remained silent for a long time.
Gu Sui lowered his eyes, looking at Shang Shu's wrist with concern, and asked, "Does it hurt?"
Shang Shu hid her wrist and changed the subject, saying, "The skin here is thin, so it hurts a little when I get the tattoo done."
Gu Sui frowned. She knew Shang Shu was doing it on purpose, but she couldn't do anything about it, afraid that pressing her too hard would drive her away.
Seeing her restraint, Shang Shu was somewhat moved. The purpose of her tattoo was to cover up those bad memories, and naturally she didn't want to see Gu Sui always feeling sad about these past events.
"Do you believe me?" She opened her mouth.
Gu Sui was somewhat puzzled, but still nodded.
"This has nothing to do with you." Shang Shu looked into her deep eyes, trying to find any clues that she believed in her.
"Okay." To everyone's surprise, Gu Sui didn't ask any further about the origin of the scar.
"Second Miss, Miss Shang, dinner is ready." The butler appeared at the right moment, interrupting their conversation.
"You still need to eat something." Gu Sui didn't give her a chance to refuse and pulled her to the dining table.
Shang Shu was truly hungry. Looking at the exquisite dishes on the table, she no longer hesitated to start eating.
Gu Sui kept putting food on her plate, looking at her with a look of relief. She used to think that Shang Shu was too thin, so she often cooked different kinds of delicious food to encourage her to eat more. But now, when she saw her again, she seemed to have become even thinner.
"Why aren't you eating any meat..." Shang Shu noticed that Gu Sui had been putting food on her plate for a long time, but she had only eaten some vegetables. She then recalled the scene when they had lunch at the company.
"It's not easy to digest," Gu Sui replied simply, placing some shredded bamboo shoots into his bowl.
Shang Shu then realized that it might be related to gastroenteritis, but it seems that one does not need to avoid certain foods if one has gastroenteritis. Unable to figure it out, she could only attribute it to individual differences.
She also picked up a piece of shredded bamboo shoots with her chopsticks: "Does your gastroenteritis... still flare up frequently?"
"So concerned about me?" Gu Sui put down his chopsticks, a faint smile playing on his lips, and the thought of teasing her arose again.
"Fine, don't tell me then." Shang Shu glanced at her. It was truly a case of double standards; only officials were allowed to set fires while commoners were forbidden to light lamps. Next time she was asked, she wouldn't say anything either.
Gu Sui was used to her awkwardness. It didn't matter if she refused to admit it; as long as she understood her feelings, that was enough. She thought for a moment and pursed her lips: "It's too late. Let's stay at the waterfront tonight, and go to the company together tomorrow."
Last time Shang Shu didn't try to keep her, but this time, she wouldn't mind being the one to try.
"Staying overnight at a friend's house is perfectly normal, right?" Before Shang Shu could answer, she rubbed the back of her hand and added, subtly turning her head to look at Shang Shu's profile.
Shang Shu checked the time; it was almost eleven o'clock, which was indeed very late. Besides, they were going to the company together tomorrow, so there was really no need to go through all that trouble again. But she still felt like she was being tricked, though she couldn't quite put her finger on why.
Perhaps if she hadn't added the word "friend," she would have had a reason to refuse, but now it seemed like she had impure intentions. Shang Shu secretly cursed Gu Sui's cunning.
"You have absolutely nothing here." How am I supposed to live here?
Shang Shu looked around at the minimalist surroundings, then at the almost empty table and started to nitpick, waiting for a reason that could convince herself.
Gu Sui knew her temperament, and hearing this meant she was about to give in, she smiled and said, "Just tell me what you need, and I'll have the housekeeper prepare it."
There must be no reason for her to refuse now, right? Gu Sui calmly watched her stubborn appearance and couldn't help but find it quite adorable.
Shang Shu ultimately couldn't escape her clutches, or more accurately, she was left in her clutches with a mixture of reluctance and resistance.
After taking a shower and lying in bed, her body was exhausted, but her mind was torn and she couldn't fall asleep. Her mind kept flashing back to Li Yun. Everything had happened so suddenly that she hadn't even noticed.
Shang Shu reached for the headboard beside her bed, only to find herself touching nothing but air. She was momentarily disoriented, realizing she wasn't at home. There was no medicine, no alcohol; it seemed destined to be a sleepless night.
Unable to sleep, she decided to smoke, so she wrapped herself in a bathrobe and tiptoed downstairs. As soon as she opened the door, the cold air rushed into her nostrils, making her cough.
The chill of the winter night made her head throb, but for some reason she kind of liked the pain, as if it was a reminder that she was truly alive in the world.
She seems to have spent the past three years living in pain.
Shang Shu took out a cigarette and lit it gently. White smoke spread out. She remembered that Gu Sui had taken her lighter, a pink heart-shaped one, which was her favorite.
She took another drag of her cigarette. The numbness in her nerves and the sharp, cold pain were fighting inside her head. Oh well, consider it compensation for being mean to her last time.
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