Chapter 16. If one insists on creating their own trap...
Gu Sui went to the company in the morning but found nothing. He then waited at Yijing Bay all afternoon but still couldn't find any trace of Shang Shu.
Gu Sui rested her arm on the car window. She didn't know how to explain the situation by typing, nor did she know if explaining it would annoy Shang Shu, since they had only been "friends" for less than 24 hours.
Finally, she typed and deleted, deleted and typed again, and sent out a message:
Can we meet?
These words were humble enough, and familiar enough. Gu Sui couldn't help but recall that three years ago, Shang Shu had sent him the exact same message.
Unpleasant memories flooded back, but Gu Sui quickly opened the car window, letting the cold air extinguish his thoughts.
She repeatedly turned her phone screen on and off, and the messages she sent seemed to disappear without a trace. After an unknown amount of time, Shang Shu still hadn't returned.
Gu Sui took a deep breath. Perhaps the other party already knew she was waiting, which was why she deliberately didn't come back. She didn't want Shang Shu to be unable to go home because of her.
She shouldn't have pushed her too hard.
Gu Sui finally sighed and drove away from Yijing Bay.
*
Having not slept all night, Shang Shu boarded the plane wearing sunglasses. As soon as she settled into her seat, the flight attendant immediately brought her champagne.
Shang Shu glanced at Gu Sui's missed calls and messages on her phone again, then casually turned it off, still choosing to read them but not reply.
She hadn't really decided how to spend her two days in Shanghai—whether to go drinking, meet up with friends, or simply lie in the hotel's presidential suite for two days.
She had to be indulged, indulged until she had no time or mood to think about Gu Sui anymore.
Shang Shu took a few sips, slowly changed into slippers, and put on an eye mask. She enjoyed the slightly tipsy feeling—chaotic yet clear-headed enough. Although the flight was short, she still planned to take the opportunity to catch up on some sleep.
As she lay there, Shang Shu's thoughts drifted away again.
She is 25 years old this year, but her life truly began the year she went abroad.
Before she turned 18, she lived a life that might have seemed good enough to outsiders.
She was born with an exceptionally beautiful face and a stunning figure.
She had an endless supply of black credit cards, countless luxury goods to buy, and an endless supply of alcohol to drink. Her biological father made no demands on her, and her stepmother was at least outwardly gentle and kind.
Everyone around her fawned over her, elevating her to a pedestal, looking up to her as if she were a goddess, and hoping to gain even a moment of her favor.
She certainly made the most of this advantage, and soon after entering the social circle, she became a "social butterfly" in the industry—in a good way, of course.
She never dated anyone because she disdained to be tied to anyone. She lingered among countless flowers, yet never touched a single leaf.
She reveled in the thrill of being fawned over and the pleasure of ambiguous relationships, as if this could make up for the neglect and indifference she experienced at home.
She even asked herself, what else could she be dissatisfied with? Was she asking for too much, being a little too greedy?
But when she met Gu Sui, everything became clear, and everything changed.
Even now, she has never seriously considered what her life would have been like if she hadn't met Gu Sui.
Maybe I'll skip classes to go to bars, finish my degree, and return to Macau to continue being a beautiful but talentless woman; or maybe I'll encounter a Western-style romance, no longer caring about the hustle and bustle of Macau, and naturally stay in Macau to spend the rest of my life.
But it was Gu Sui who was like a lonely star, unreachable both physically and psychologically.
She had reached the pinnacle of her field, forcing me to fight tooth and nail to be worthy of standing beside her.
She always saw through all her pretenses with her gentleness, drawing out her ambition from her heart and casually slapping it onto the jewelry design table.
Fate gave her a sweet date, but it was poisoned with arsenic. Unaware of this, she chewed and savored it, slowly waiting for the poison to take effect while enjoying the sweetness.
If it ended like this, it would seem like a good thing, but fate had to slap her hard before that happened.
They had agreed to relax, indulge, and clear their minds, but for some reason, they had dragged her into it again. Shang Shu turned over in annoyance.
The flight from Macau to Shanghai takes just over two hours, so her plan to catch up on sleep fell through. Shang Shu took off her eye mask and put her sunglasses back on.
Winters in Shanghai are much colder than in Macau, at least that's how Shang Shu felt. She wrapped her not-so-thick coat tighter around herself; her unwavering principle was that she'd rather freeze to death than look ugly.
She turned on her phone and glanced at the car and hotel information that Song Lan had sent her as she walked; she had always appreciated her thoughtfulness.
As noon approached, Shang Shu rested briefly and then looked at her rumbling stomach. She decided to head to the rooftop restaurant on the Bund for lunch. She had been to Shanghai several times before and knew the way well.
The midday sun was shining brightly, illuminating the river and reflecting sparkles like shattered diamonds. Cruise ships glided slowly by. Shang Shu held her wine glass in her hand, looking at the Oriental Pearl Tower and the skyscrapers of Lujiazui across the river, taking in the entire river view.
"Shang Shu?"
Shang Shu was sipping foie gras and gazing absently at Jiang Jing when a female voice pulled her back to reality.
She turned her head and saw a woman with neat, shoulder-length short hair, and a blonde, blue-eyed foreign woman by her side.
"Lu Shengxi?" Shang Shu was still a little dazed, but when she saw the familiar broken eyebrows on the woman's face, she immediately recognized her.
Lu Shengxi was Shang Shu's classmate in the same major as Datong. She came from a financial family in Shanghai. Back then, she was easy to recognize in the class full of beautiful girls because of her androgynous style of dress and her habit of shaving one eyebrow.
"Long time no see," Lu Shengxi said with a smile, then introduced the woman beside him to Shang Shu: "Jasmine, my girlfriend."
Shang Shu smiled, stood up, greeted Jasmine, and then asked, "Did you just arrive?"
“We’ve already eaten,” Lu Shengxi replied.
She then turned to Jasmine, said a few words, gave her a light kiss goodbye, and watched her leave. After that, Lu Shengxi turned back to Shang Shu and said, "Jasmine is going to meet a friend nearby. I was just thinking of finding a place to wait for her. Did you come alone?"
"Okay, sit down." Shang Shu smiled slightly, gesturing for Lu Shengxi to sit down opposite her, and poured her a glass of wine.
Lu Shengxi straightened his turtleneck sweater and thanked Shang Shu, asking, "Did you come to Shanghai for fun this time?"
Shang Shu put down the wine bottle: "I guess I'm here on a business trip."
Mentioning this, Lu Shengxi's eyes lit up: "I've heard about it all in Shanghai. You've done a great job with the company these past few years."
"Don't flatter me." Shang Shu smiled shyly, picked up the wine glass next to her and took a sip. "You're not bad either. Jasmine is even prettier in the photos. Come to think of it, you two have been together for many years now."
Shang Shu knew that Lu Shengxi had a British girlfriend when she was in college. She had seen many photos shared by Lu Shengxi on Instagram. Jasmine was not from Edmonton. Her home was in a small town called Bath in the south. Edmonton was too far north. It would take at least five hours to get there by train. Since there was no direct train, you had to transfer in other cities along the way. So she often saw Lu Shengxi rushing to catch the train as soon as get out of class was over.
When his girlfriend was mentioned, a rare hint of shyness flashed across Lu Shengxi's cool face. She turned the ring on her middle finger and said, "I guess so. We've broken up and gotten back together many times, in different places and countries, but we've finally made it through."
Shang Shu curled her lips into a smile: "From what you're saying, good news is on the horizon?"
“Yes, I’m planning to propose to her.” Lu Shengxi’s face flushed slightly. “Bringing her back to Shanghai this time is also a way of introducing her to my parents. We might settle down there together in the future.”
Upon hearing this, Shang Shu felt a surge of emotion, a mix of gratitude for their love and envy for Lu Shengxi's open-mindedness. She was genuinely happy for them: "Then I congratulate you in advance."
Lu Shengxi laughed heartily: "Thank you. Please remember to come when we have our wedding."
Shang Shu smiled and agreed. Looking at the bustling river view, a sense of melancholy welled up after her initial joy.
Lu Shengxi took a sip of wine: "How are things between you and Gu Sui? The last time I saw her was at our graduation ceremony."
"What?" Shang Shu's heart skipped a beat, and she blurted out instinctively.
That's impossible.
Gu Sui disappeared long before the graduation ceremony. She remembered it very clearly because those days were the darkest moment of her life, and she almost missed the graduation ceremony because of it.
How could this be? How could Gu Sui possibly come?
Lu Shengxi's hand holding the wine glass froze in mid-air, a hint of surprise flashing across his face.
Shang Shu seemed to realize her loss of composure, gripping the hem of her clothes tightly with her hand hidden under the table, and said in as calm a tone as possible, "We broke up before that."
Sunlight streamed through the large glass windows, spilling into the wine glasses and adding a touch of restlessness to the ever-rising bubbles of the champagne.
Lu Shengxi put down his wine glass and awkwardly clenched his fists. "I'm sorry, maybe I misread it. I thought you..."
"It's all in the past." Shang Shu forced a not-so-good smile, trying her best to ease the other person's embarrassment.
The two chatted for a while longer. Whether it was out of guilt for saying the wrong thing or for some other reason, Lu Shengxi, as the host, eventually paid the bill for Shang Shu.
Shang Shu noticed Lu Shengxi's embarrassment, and to make him feel better, she didn't refuse too much, since neither of them were short of money.
Leaving the restaurant, Shang Shu strolled casually along the riverside promenade. The afternoon sun of winter shone on her, driving away some of the chill.
The Bund is always crowded, all year round, but most people just take a few photos and leave. Shang Shu found a less crowded spot and quietly watched people come and go.
Looking at the scenery before her, Shang Shu couldn't help but recall a saying: "When I'm actually standing in Victoria Harbour, I won't care whether you've replied to my message or not."
Shang Shu found it somewhat amusing. Was it because this wasn't Victoria Harbour, but standing on the equally bustling Bund, she still thought of her?
Suddenly, she felt that the sunlight was no longer warm, and the wind by the river made her cheeks sting.
Perhaps whether or not it is Victoria Harbour is not important at all.
If a person insists on trapping themselves in their own web, perhaps no matter where they go in the world, their heart will still be unable to escape.
A note from the author:
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