Chapter 51 Lauren's Diffuse Gastric Cancer...
The waterfront was dark and silent in the dead of night, with only a few weathered nightlights standing on the lawn, casting a faint glow.
The light in the second bedroom was off. Gu Sui sat on the off-white rabbit fur rug by the bed and gently stroked it with his hand.
She chose this carpet herself, though she hadn't mentioned it last time. The carpet is very soft and beautiful. Knowing that Shang Shu might wake up at night because of nightmares, Gu Sui thought that at least when the little girl stayed here, she could step onto the fluffy carpet when she got out of bed, which might make her feel a little more at ease.
After returning from Scarlet, Gu Sui dismissed the housekeeper. She thought, let people and Gu Qi talk as they please, she didn't care. She just wanted to stay quietly in this second bedroom by herself.
There was a pack of cigarettes and a bunch of unopened bottles of liquor beside her, all kinds of which she had bought specifically for today.
Gu Sui reached out to touch the lighter on the bedside table. It was the one she had taken from Shang Shu earlier. She stroked the Saturn pattern engraved on the pink metal casing and couldn't help but curl her lips into a smile. The little girl even had to pick out pretty lighters. It had been sitting with her for so long, and today it could finally be put to use.
Gu Sui slowly pulled a cigarette from the cigarette case. It was a thin women's cigarette. She held it in her hand and played with it, imagining how the little girl would hold it between her fingers. She wasn't very good at lighting cigarettes. At first, she just held it in her hand and tried to heat it with a lighter, so she didn't succeed. But Gu Sui was an extremely clever imitator. She just imitated how the little girl in her memory put it in her mouth and soon succeeded.
The pungent smoke made Gu Sui cough violently, her throat burning slightly, which made her furrow her brows tightly. After coughing for a while, Gu Sui suddenly felt silly and chuckled to herself.
But she had no intention of stopping. From her mouth and throat to her lungs, Gu Sui had long known that she was an extremely intelligent student. Her head began to spin, and her heart was beating very fast. However, she felt that nicotine had no effect on her, and the increased dopamine secretion did not reduce her anxiety in the slightest.
Scattered cigarette ash fell onto the rabbit fur carpet, which Gu Sui hurriedly brushed away, somewhat regretting that he had tainted the place where the little girl had been.
She stubbed out her cigarette and leaned her head against the edge of the bed. The little girl's pajamas were still on the bed. Gu Sui wanted to reach out and touch them, but the smell of smoke lingering on her fingertips made her hesitate. However, she seemed to have forgotten that the whole room was already filled with smoke.
Gu Sui blinked slowly, reminiscing about the past three years.
These three years have been contradictory for her; she longed for light while in darkness, sometimes feeling that they were short, and sometimes that they were long.
Lauren's diffuse gastric cancer.
What she had always thought was gastroenteritis.
This subtype is more common in young people and women. The worst thing about it is that the symptoms are hidden. Cancer cells are scattered on the stomach wall, and in the early stages, there are almost no obvious abnormalities. This leads to many patients being diagnosed when they are already in the locally advanced stage, and she was unfortunately one of them.
The Gu family conducts annual health checkups for its members, but she was too busy with her studies to go back for several years. If it weren't for Zhou Ling's poor health and constant complaints that neither of her two daughters was willing to come home, and her subsequent ultimatum to her that year, she probably wouldn't have had the chance to find out.
At that time, she was preoccupied with Shang Shu, who was thousands of miles away, so she only stayed in Macau for less than two weeks. She rushed to complete her check-up in the last few days and then flew back to Ireland.
The day I received the pathology report was a bright and sunny midday.
"During your last gastroscopy, we took a small tissue sample from the suspicious mucosal area for biopsy. The pathology results showed that cancer cells were indeed found in your stomach. Based on the current examination results, the cancer has invaded the muscular layer of the stomach wall, and several surrounding lymph nodes have also been affected by the cancer cells, but there has been no distant metastasis. Medically, this is classified as stage II..."
Gu Sui only remembered that when she received the call, she was still at the stove, cooking soup for Shang Shu, who had just finished class at school.
On the other end of the phone, the soup was still bubbling in the pot even after the heat was turned off.
On the other end of the phone, the Gu family's medical center was eerily silent.
Gu Qi canceled an important shareholders' meeting and arrived within ten minutes. Gu Sui could hear her sister trying her best to hide her sobs on the phone.
It's a bit heartless of me, but the first person Gu Sui thought of wasn't Gu Qi, Zhou Ling, or Gu Yushan, but the little girl who was still on her way home.
"What is the treatment plan?" This was the first question Gu Sui asked calmly after hearing all this.
"Surgery is needed as soon as possible to remove about two-thirds of the stomach and clear the surrounding lymph nodes. This is currently the most effective treatment. With radical surgery and standard adjuvant therapy, the five-year survival rate is approximately 55% to 70%..."
Gu Sui has always been a person with a very strong comprehension ability, and this matter is no exception.
"Does that mean only half to two-thirds of patients can live past five years, right?"
After she finished speaking, this time she clearly heard Gu Qi crying, the sound of clothes rubbing together from his movements, and other people calling out "Chairman Gu" repeatedly.
"Ah Sui...you have to come back."
Gu Sui listened to her sister's trembling voice, which sounded like a helpless plea. She simply closed her eyes and told her sister not to tell their parents.
On the night before she left, she held the little girl in her arms, saying "I love you" over and over again, and after the girl fell asleep, she kissed her soft lips one last time.
In the days that followed, Gu Qi found her a top-notch medical team, and soon she underwent a robot-assisted laparoscopic gastrectomy. This technique leaves a very small incision, but Gu Sui still felt pain.
During the most difficult stage of adjuvant chemotherapy, from the very first day, as the medication entered the intravenous infusion port, Gu Sui's hands and feet began to feel cold and numb. Dizziness and nausea kept coming over him. Gu Sui could hardly eat anything and could only barely swallow some soup and water.
The remaining stomach after the surgery was already small, and the side effects of chemotherapy changed Gu Sui's sense of taste. Many things tasted metallic and hard to swallow, and even fruits became sour and astringent. He would vomit after eating, and then try to eat again. Later, the doctor gave Gu Sui a full set of anti-nausea medications, but the effect was still not very significant. The condition kept recurring, and Gu Sui's weight began to drop rapidly.
Glucose, amino acids, calcium, magnesium – to prevent malnutrition, Gu Suiyuan received these intravenous infusions continuously, leaving her hands and arms with bruises from the needle pricks, making it almost impossible to find a place to insert the needles.
Gu Sui could only force herself to eat. She couldn't help but vomit at the smell of food, but when she replaced hot food with cold porridge, fruit puree and other cold foods, it was easier for her to swallow. Finally, she was able to swallow some food smoothly.
However, her intake still couldn't keep up with her consumption, and Gu Sui's physical strength was getting worse and worse. She was weak in her limbs and could only lie limply on the bed, trying to suppress her pained moans as quietly as possible. Later, she couldn't even lift the tableware. Gu Qi and Gu Xiangyi often wiped away their tears by her bedside, and she could only try to move the corners of her lips to force a smile. She didn't even have the strength to say words of comfort.
About two courses of treatment later, Gu Sui started losing her hair. She put on the hat that Gu Qi had prepared for her in advance. However, when the two came to visit her and stayed by her side, Gu Sui mostly chose to close her eyes so that they would think she was asleep. In fact, the side effects that permeated every corner of her body made her so uncomfortable that she could not fall asleep at all. However, Gu Sui felt that by pretending to be asleep, she would not have to see her haggard appearance through their pitying eyes.
The dual torment of mind and body was driving her crazy. Gu Sui felt that she didn't even have the strength to shed a tear. She was grateful countless times that her A-Shu hadn't seen her like this.
But she knew she couldn't give up; she had to live. Gu Sui had never believed in gods or Buddhas, but now she was starting to pray for blessings.
She prayed devoutly.
If possible, may God allow her to live, because her beloved Ah Shu is still waiting for her to come home.
If not, then may her little girl forget her, and may the gods bless Ashu with good health, peace, joy, and a smooth life.
Whether it was her piety that moved the heavens or not, she gradually regained her appetite, her health began to improve, and the cancer cells did not recur or metastasize. She no longer had to experience that darkness.
Day after day, Gu Sui finally survived the three most dangerous years. She eagerly awaited the next spring, summer, autumn and winter, and longed to reunite with her little girl as soon as possible.
Thinking of this, Gu Sui's lips unconsciously curved into a smile. She picked up a bottle of wine, opened it, gripped the bottle with water droplets on it tightly, and put the slightly warmed whiskey into her mouth. The liquid went down her throat and spread to her chest.
It's very spicy and very bitter.
After the surgery, her stomach capacity decreased and her digestive function declined, so she reacted more strongly to alcohol than the average person, and she was fully aware that she could not drink too much.
But when she's awake, her heart aches uncontrollably; she can't control it. She desperately needs to shake off this state of clarity.
One bite after another.
"A-Shu..." Gu Sui was a little drunk, and she murmured the little girl's name softly to the air.
She admitted that she completely panicked when she saw the agreement and heard the word "goodbye".
She thought that as long as she did enough and did it well enough, she could easily let bygones be bygones, but she underestimated Shang Shu’s persistence.
She thought that as long as Shang Shu could be happy, she could offer her blessings even if that happiness had nothing to do with her. But she underestimated her own greed.
The thought of her Ah Shu one day wearing a ring given by someone else, dressed in a beautiful wedding gown, making vows to someone else, and walking down the aisle made her heart feel like it was being slowly sliced apart.
She knew perfectly well that telling the whole story would make her feel better, but she couldn't bring herself to speak. She didn't dare to think about the outcome of telling the whole story and not being forgiven. Besides, she was the one who had concealed it first and chose to bear everything alone. If Shang Shu found out, she would definitely feel guilty and blame herself for the rest of her life.
She didn't want any cracks to appear in their trust, nor did she want their love to be forever bound together with pity and guilt.
She could endure more than a thousand days and nights on her own, even if the pain were a thousand times greater, she could bear it. But when she thought of that marigold and her little girl struggling in nightmares, her heart ached so much that she could hardly breathe.
It was enough that she regretted causing Shang Shu to suffer from a heart condition. She didn't need, and didn't want, Shang Shu to share her pain, not even a little bit, because Shang Shu was the pearl she held in her hands, the treasure she cherished most in her heart.
If Shang Shu could give up on this answer, she would have a hundred ways to make them start over, but she was powerless to do anything about this one thing.
She was trapped in a deadly trap she had set for herself.
This time, it seems she's really going to lose her.
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A note from the author: This is non-professional data for entertainment purposes only. Please do not take it as a reference. Thank you!
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