Chapter 54 Will you spend Christmas with me...?
The waterfront has finally welcomed back its long-awaited and familiar guests.
Shang Shu stood on the steps by the door, and hesitantly looked back at Gu Qi.
Gu Qi didn't intend to follow them in and disturb their conversation; he simply sat in the car and nodded gently.
Shang Shu took a few more steps forward, took a deep breath, and rang the doorbell at the waterfront.
The housekeeper opened the door, surprised and delighted by the arrival of the person in front of her. She had just cleaned the second bedroom not long ago, but now it seemed unnecessary.
Shang Shu changed her shoes and quickly glanced around, but saw no one: "Where's Gu Sui?"
The butler took the coat from the person's hand: "The second young lady is in her bedroom. I called her out to eat several times, but she refused. Please go and persuade her."
She just drank alcohol, how can she refuse to eat?
Upon hearing this, Shang Shu felt her blood rush to her head and her head spin. She frowned tightly and quickened her pace as she went upstairs.
Arriving at Gu Sui's door, she hurriedly grabbed the doorknob and pressed it down.
It's locked.
Shang Shu knocked on the door anxiously again, and just as she was about to speak, she heard Gu Sui's indifferent and cold voice coming from inside.
I said I wouldn't eat it.
It was very cold and very fierce.
"Gu Sui, open the door." Shang Shu's voice was a little hoarse from her anxiety. She knocked on the door a few more times, then turned her back and coughed twice.
Gu Sui was slumped by the French windows. When she heard Shang Shu's voice, she thought she was hallucinating. It wasn't until she heard two more coughs that she realized Shang Shu had really come.
She struggled to her feet, but because she had stood up too suddenly and hadn't had anything to hold onto for so long, she was a little unsteady.
Gu Sui stumbled to the door. She longed to see her little girl, but hesitated and paused the moment she grasped the doorknob.
bid farewell.
She recalled Lin Lang's words, and a wave of sorrow washed over her. If this was truly a farewell, she would rather not see him at all. Was it possible that if she simply refused to accept it, she could pretend that nothing had happened?
Gu Sui leaned against the door with one hand, his forehead against the back of his hand, and did not continue.
Shang Shu heard the commotion inside, but the person still refused to open the door. She was both angry and anxious. How could this person be so stubborn?
"If you don't open it, I'm leaving." Her eyes were slightly red as she deliberately provoked him.
This tactic worked. Gu Sui, hearing the choked sob still lingering in her voice, finally couldn't bear to turn the person away.
The moment the door opened, tears streamed down Shang Shu's cheeks.
On the way here, she thought about rushing into someone's arms and crying as soon as she entered the door, or about punching someone's shoulder and blaming them.
But now, all she could do was clutch the document that was cutting her hand so badly, as if she were frozen in place, watching her lover's haggard face and tears streaming down her face, her jaw trembling as she choked on her words.
“Ah Shu…”
Seeing the little girl in tears, Gu Sui tenderly cupped her cheeks and wiped away her tears.
Hearing that tender, gentle call, Shang Shu finally couldn't hold back and buried her face in someone's arms, bursting into tears.
"Gu Sui... this time... are you going to abandon me again?"
She leaned on Gu Sui's shoulder, crying and coughing as if she were about to vomit up her internal organs. She cried so bitterly and plaintively that it seemed she wanted to cry out all the grievances they had suffered over the past three years.
"How could that be... How could I not want you?" Gu Sui gently stroked the little girl's back. "Don't cry, don't cry, A-Shu, please don't cry anymore."
Hearing the crying and coughing, Gu Sui felt her heart shatter into pieces. As Shang Shu collapsed and slumped to the ground, Gu Sui also knelt down.
Gu Sui gently coaxed her for a long time until she felt that Shang Shu was holding something in her arms. Only then did she gently release her and notice the stack of documents.
"Gu Sui... what... what do you take me for?" Shang Shu clutched the paper, unable to stop sobbing.
Gu Sui stared at the large characters on the paper, finally closing her eyes in despair and taking a deep breath: "You..."
Everyone knows.
"So in your eyes, I'm the kind of person who can only share your joys but not your sorrows?" Shang Shu's voice trembled violently at the end, her heartache genuine, but so was her anger.
Gu Sui moved his lips with difficulty, his throat trembling slightly, and finally reached out to brush aside the girl's disheveled hair: "You asked me... how could I bear to..."
Gu Sui wiped away the tears hanging at the corners of Shang Shu's eyes, but the more he wiped, the more tears appeared: "Taking care of a sick person is hard and troublesome. My Shu is so good, she certainly wouldn't want to leave me, but how could I bear to see you toil for me and suffer with me?"
Gu Sui smiled, then lowered her eyes and a tear fell.
Shang Shu's eyelashes trembled as she gazed at the moon-like, flowing gaze and the stars falling from it, her heart aching terribly.
Gu Sui looked up and sighed, trying to hold back her tears: "Do you know, A-Shu, when I was first diagnosed, my first reaction wasn't fear, but thinking, what should I do? What will happen to my A-Shu if I die?"
"No...no..."
Upon hearing that word, Shang Shu shook her head, sobbing, and reached out to cover Gu Sui's lips.
Earlier, she had laughed at Gu Sui for being averse to this word, but now it was her turn to be unable to bear hearing it.
Gu Sui took that slender hand from his lips and gently stroked it in his palm: "Later, you returned to Macau and started to realize the dream you told me about. I was very happy. I thought my A-Shu was so amazing and hardworking. Even without me by her side, she could definitely do very well."
“I know your company requires drinking for business occasions, and I know you like to drown your sorrows in alcohol when you’re upset. So this Scarlet Inn was opened for you. I opened it near your company, near Yijing Bay, so I could guide you here. At least there, nothing bad will happen to you. At that time, I didn’t know what else I could do for you besides these things.”
“Gu Sui…” Shang Shu choked up.
A star fell onto the back of my hand; it was warm and slightly itchy.
Gu Sui stroked every inch of the little girl's fingers and murmured softly, "I know that since I left you alone back then, I shouldn't bother you anymore. I know that my sudden appearance after so many years is very unfair to you, but I really can't help it. I dream of returning to your side."
"Knowing that I'm the one who made you sick breaks my heart, so I can't bring myself to tell you these things, because I feel like it would sound like... like I'm making excuses for myself."
She is an extremely patient person. When her hand is bruised, she will show her arm. When anti-nausea medication doesn't work, she will hold the spittoon herself. When the pain is so intense that she can't make a sound, she can bite the blanket.
Loneliness and illness could not defeat her, but now she can no longer bear to reveal her pain to her lover, taking off her last armor and showing her whole heart to the world.
Shang Shu listened to all of this in a daze, tears streaming down her face.
Yes, Scarlet opened three years ago. No wonder the wine and ambiance there suited her so well; it turns out it was tailor-made for her by her lover.
"What should I do, Gu Sui..." Shang Shu covered her lips with her hand and shook her head gently, "How could I be so bad..."
How could she not be by Gu Sui's side when he was sick? How could she be completely unaware when Gu Sui needed her most? How could she force Gu Sui to confess? How could she say such hurtful things to Gu Sui...
Gu Sui gently stroked the little girl's head, pulled her into his arms, and rested his chin on her head, coaxing her softly: "No, you're not bad. You're the best A-Shu in the world. It was my fault for keeping it from you."
Shang Shu nestled in Gu Sui's arms, crying until her head was spinning and she felt dizzy. The lingering effects of her crying still made her sob uncontrollably. She was so attached to this long-lost and warm embrace that she forgot they were still kneeling on the floor.
"A-Shu..." Gu Sui whispered with his eyes closed, "Please forgive me, okay?"
"Mmm..." Shang Shu responded in a nasal voice, nestled in his arms.
Gu Sui tightened his grip on the person in his arms, as if pleading, his voice trembling slightly at the end: "Then don't go... okay?"
Don't go on blind dates, don't be with other people, don't... leave me.
Upon hearing this, Shang Shu gently pulled away from that embrace. She knew what Gu Sui was talking about, but before explaining this misunderstanding, she still needed to correct some things.
She reached out and smoothed Gu Sui's furrowed brows, looking into his eyes: "If Sister Gu Qi hadn't come to me and told me all this, I... I really would have gone to find someone else. What would you have done then?"
She lied, she was angry, and she didn't want the rift between them to be resolved by someone else.
But she was really scared. She didn't even dare to think back to how they almost missed each other.
Hearing this, even though his beloved was right next to him, Gu Sui couldn't help but feel a dull ache in his heart.
She tried her best to suppress her disordered breathing, saying something she didn't mean: "Then... I wish you happiness."
Shang Shu was so angry at this answer that she coughed incessantly, and tears welled up in her eyes again. She lightly punched Gu Sui's arm, which was patting her back to help her catch her breath, and cried out, "Who wants your blessing? I want you, it's always been you, Gu Sui..."
She didn't care about any of those bullshit blessings. Without Gu Sui, she would never have been happy in her life.
"I know, I really know. I was talking nonsense. I was wrong, A-Shu. It's all my fault..." Gu Sui hugged her tightly again and apologized repeatedly.
Hearing the apology, Shang Shu cried even harder: "I told you we had to stop here, and I was so sad I wanted to die. I could lie to you and to others, but I couldn't lie to myself. Lin Lang was right, even if you keep it from me forever and never say a word, I can't truly give up on you..."
She pressed her forehead against Gu Sui's shoulder and cried uncontrollably.
Gu Sui tenderly stroked the little girl's nape and gently patted her back, coaxing her, "It's okay, don't cry. Our A-Shu has been wronged. It's my fault, my fault..."
Her clothes were soaked with tears, clinging damply to her shoulders, but Gu Sui was oblivious, gently comforting her as she lightly rubbed her cheek against the little girl's fluffy hair.
Shang Shu's sobs subsided, and she lowered her head, tugging at Gu Sui's sleeve: "Before, when I said I wouldn't wait for you in the same place, it was all a lie. So your methods won't work. Whether it's three years, five years, ten years, or a lifetime, I've never thought of considering anyone else but you..."
She sniffed, her voice slightly hoarse.
“You will never tie me down. I stay by your side because I love you, not because of any guilt or pity. I want to love you, I feel sorry for you, and I want to be the one to take care of you, so I don’t want you to feel burdened.”
"You did all those things for me because you love me, and I want to be with you because I love you too."
"We've missed so much time together, I never want to be apart from you again."
Shang Shu gazed at her lover as if she were looking at the moon reflected in her heart.
"So, Gu Sui...would you like to spend Christmas with me?"
The little girl's voice was sweet and delicate, and even though it was a little hoarse due to a cold, it was still beautiful. Gu Sui's beautiful eyelashes were stained with tears, and the starry sky in his eyes gradually brightened.
Looking at the crescent moon, Shang Shu slowly spoke again: "Would you like to start over with me and be my girlfriend?"
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Author's note: Hooray! [fireworks emoji]
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