Chapter 73 I want you to possess me.
The Fireworks Ocean View Suite on the top floor of the hotel features a spacious living room with a huge circular carpet in the center, surrounded by several sets of off-white curved sofas. On the glass round table are exquisite handwritten cards and welcome wine. Floor-to-ceiling windows enclose the entire living room, which slopes slightly downwards and extends to a large private viewing platform with several wooden steps.
The Royal Bed in the bedroom is sprinkled with flower petals, and opposite it is a 270-degree curved floor-to-ceiling window that offers a panoramic view of the Macau Tower and the entire seascape.
Shang Shu checked and found that this was the room with the best view in the entire city of Macau, perfect for watching the New Year's Eve fireworks.
Shang Shu pulled Gu Sui to stand by the window, gently hooking her arm around Gu Sui's neck, and said, "I not only want to watch the sunset, but I also want to watch the fireworks with you."
There are a few more things that I can tell you later.
Gu Sui wrapped his arms around Shang Shu's waist and said "okay" with a kiss.
Tonight's kiss was exceptionally tender; they gently moistened each other's lips, as if carefully holding a pool of water, creating ripples in circles, unhurried and gentle, without biting or nibbling.
She slowly unbuttoned her silk shirt, and gently pulled off the ribbon of the bow at her collar, leaving the clothes on the carpet. They didn't stop, swaying and kissing all the way to the bathroom. Shang Shu leaned against the counter, pulling him into her arms, letting the cool edge of the pool press against Gu Sui's waist.
"Let's wash together."
"Um."
Everything here seems to be curved: curved carpets, curved sofas, curved floor-to-ceiling windows, and now even a curved bathtub.
The water flowed gently, and the mist rose. Looking at Gu Sui's flushed cheeks and the waves of water that reached her chest, it was as if the moon, with a thin layer of rouge, had transformed into a fairy. Looking up, there was the moon in the sky; looking down, there was its reflection in the water. It was unreachable, yet so close. Shang Shu began to feel that she did not belong to the human world.
She reached out and touched the moon's reflection in the water, gently lifting it out of the water, but she was timid, suddenly afraid of getting it dirty.
The water rippled with each wave, and soon the moon trembled as it fell to earth.
They dried themselves off along with the moon, then tumbled into the large bed to continue their revelry, their fingers slightly wrinkled, it was hard to tell which pool of water had caused it.
They embraced and calmed down, but in the dim light, Gu Sui noticed something subtle that was different from before—the little girl's gentle rubbing against him.
His breath, which had just calmed down, became disordered again. Gu Sui searched for Shang Shu's eyes in the darkness, looked at her to confirm, and received only the girl's light but somewhat rapid breathing.
When they first got together, Gu Sui took the initiative to be possessed because she thought Shang Shu was still young. So everything happened naturally and smoothly. They did explore and try things out, but she felt sorry for the girl because she sensed her fear. At most, they only occasionally tried things outside. Later, she found that Shang Shu seemed to enjoy the feeling of possessing her more than that, so they gradually got used to this pattern.
She respects desire, but also the absence of desire. Before meeting Shang Shu, she was not a person with strong desires. She believed that, at least in intimate relationships, this must be based on the comfort of both parties, not just physiologically, but more importantly, psychologically.
Therefore, she fully respects Shang Shu. She can give Shang Shu whatever she wants when she wants it, and she also accepts not forcing Shang Shu when she is not ready.
Gu Sui gazed at Shang Shu's trembling eyelashes and reached out to gently stroke them as before, but after only a few strokes, Shang Shu grabbed his wrist.
"Go wash your hands..." Shang Shu's voice was soft and somewhat weak, but it sounded incredibly real to her ears.
“A-Shu…” Gu Sui was both surprised and worried. How could she not understand what Shang Shu meant? But she hesitated because she thought the little girl might be in pain.
"Is it alright outside?" she asked gently, touching Shang Shu's chin.
Shang Shu sank into the pillow, grabbed her wrist, and shook her head, her chest heaving slightly: "I want it."
I want you to possess me; I've thought it through very clearly.
Shang Shu blinked gently. She saw Gu Sui take a deep breath, then exhale very slowly, swallow, and after a few seconds of silence, say in a hoarse voice, "Okay."
In the past, she was very satisfied with the pleasure of possessing Gu Sui, because she could dominate everything in this pleasure and selectively forget those anxieties. This psychological pleasure was enough to make her infatuated.
Now, she is no longer obsessed with plucking the moon, because she no longer has to worry about the moon leaving at any time. What she wants is to blend herself into the moonlight.
As the sound of water gradually subsided, Gu Sui's footsteps drew closer and closer. Shang Shu felt as if those few minutes had lasted longer than an eternity.
"A-Shu," Gu Sui hugged her and called her softly in her ear, "If you're not feeling well, just tell me, okay?"
Another snowflake falls into my heart.
Shang Shu had never been so eager. She had the gentlest and most considerate lover in the world. From the past to the present, every word, every sentence, and every action of Gu Sui told her that her wishes came first.
So she didn't want to wait any longer.
After nodding, Gu Sui began to kiss her lightly, just like Shang Shu kissed her in the sunset, starting from her eyelashes, kissing the tip of her nose, and then carefully outlining her lips.
The little girl was like a chilled lychee, light red and deep white, as if covered by a veil of crimson gauze, breathtakingly beautiful. Gu Sui gently kissed away the frost flowers, sculpting her into an even more delicate and translucent beauty.
"Ah Shu, don't be afraid, relax a little." Feeling her tension, Gu Sui gently coaxed her between kisses.
"Hmm..." Shang Shu frowned slightly, her breathing becoming shallow and fragmented.
Then, snowflakes fell one after another, filling her heart and smoothing out all the ravines.
Shang Shu clutched the bedsheet, her eyes welling up with a thin layer of mist. She turned her head away; the light was dim, and their figures were faintly reflected on the French windows.
"I promise you," she said to Gu Sui in her heart.
I will trust you without reservation, rely on you unconditionally, and give myself to you completely. Since you say you are greedy, then let's be even greedier.
You must have heard that, right?
Her breathing became sticky. Shang Shu gently climbed up Gu Sui's nape. Her hands were a little weak, and her fingertips tightened again and again, but she still almost couldn't hold on.
Gu Sui was extremely gentle from beginning to end, proceeding step by step and guiding her patiently. Using a method completely different from hers, he slowly dissipated her discomfort, gradually leading her to indulge and making her feel comfortable.
"Mmm...Ah Sui..." she called out Gu Sui's name impatiently, feeling as if she was about to be buried by the heavy snow.
“A-Shu, A-Shu…” Gu Sui responded affectionately.
She lowered her head, looking at Shang Shu's tightly furrowed and beautiful eyebrows, her chin tilted back, listening to the soft moans escaping from her throat and nose. She was almost at her breaking point.
I want to make her happy, to help her reach the top, to fill her with joy. I want to meld her into my being, to keep her to myself, and to make her belong to me forever and ever.
She finally understood why Shang Shu was so nervous that morning. This delicate and sensitive girl had already decided to give herself to him.
A satisfied sigh, delicate and sweet, mixed with a hint of shyness and helplessness, followed by a strange yet comfortable tremor and a surging heartbeat.
His fingertips were still warm. Gu Sui held Shang Shu tightly in his arms, gently kissing her damp forehead, feeling her lingering breaths and the lingering tremors. His heart was enveloped by an unprecedented sense of fullness.
"Are you alright?" After calming down for a while, Gu Sui looked at the little girl's slightly dazed eyes and spoke softly.
Shang Shu blushed and didn't answer, only burying her head deeper into the other person's arms.
Gu Sui lowered his head and cupped her face in his hands.
"You didn't wash your hands." Shang Shu finally raised her head and said in a soft, coquettish voice.
Gu Sui chuckled and removed his hand: "You even dislike your own?"
Hearing this, Shang Shu blushed even more. It seemed to have two layers of meaning: one was a light teasing remark, and the other was as if she was saying that she didn't even dislike Gu Sui, so why was she disliking her own?
Shang Shu stopped responding. She reached out to wrap her arms around Gu Sui's waist from the front, but realized what was happening a second before she touched him. She suddenly sat up and struggled to get out of bed.
"What's wrong?" Gu Sui saw that her legs were about to give way and she was about to fall, so he quickly got up and helped her up.
Shang Shu hissed softly and sat back on the bed, truly not expecting such a strong aftereffect.
"I just suddenly remembered that you haven't eaten anything since lunch, and I was worried that your stomach might be upset, so I thought I'd order something quickly." She murmured a little embarrassedly.
After hearing this, Gu Sui's brows slowly relaxed. She had thought that Shang Shu was feeling unwell, and her heart had been clenched in fear.
"Don't worry, I'm not feeling unwell," she said, pulling him back onto the bed. "Shall we call out now?"
Shang Shu felt a little dizzy when she heard "okay or not," and nodded hesitantly. Perhaps the memory of using it in a certain place was too deep, and she began to worry that she would never be able to hear these words properly again.
The two ate something and rested for a while. Seeing that there was still some time before the New Year's Eve fireworks, they decided to take another shower. This time, they didn't go together, because they both knew they would be unable to control themselves.
As usual, Gu Sui dried Shang Shu's hair, then they went back to bed and embraced. She knew that Shang Shu liked being held by her.
"Gu Sui..." Shang Shu nestled in her arms, yawning slightly from exhaustion.
"Um."
"Would you like to come with me to visit Mommy next spring?"
She didn't know why she suddenly thought of this, but she really wanted to take Gu Sui to see He Landai, even though she knew it didn't really mean anything. But she just wanted to. Maybe it was a little bit of conservatism and "pedantry" hidden in her blood that was causing her to think of him. She also wanted to take her lover to see the only family member she acknowledged, who was no longer alive, after entrusting him to her.
"A-Shu..." Gu Sui gently nuzzled Shang Shu's hair with his cheek and hugged her even tighter. "Of course I'm willing."
She understood everything Shang Shu didn't say. She understood her grievances, her unease, and why Shang Shu pretended to be strong while longing for a hug. She understood that Shang Shu was afraid of being abandoned and that Shang Shu was obsessed with being loved.
"Bang!"
At midnight, fireworks burst forth on the distant sea, dazzling and brilliant, bidding farewell to the past and warmly welcoming the new year.
"Happy New Year." Shang Shu tilted her head up and gently kissed Gu Sui's lips, speaking softly in a slightly hoarse voice.
She disliked the past year as much as she hated the previous two. Without any consideration, her days and years went by mechanically, like a withered leaf drifting in the wind.
But she also really liked the past year because her beloved, whom she had been longing for day and night, finally returned to her side at the end of the year.
From now on, all the years will be good, she thought to herself.
"Happy New Year, A-Shu." Gu Sui cupped Shang Shu's face and returned the kiss earnestly.
On the last day of the year, she clearly felt her intense possessiveness; she wanted to be greedy and selfish forever.
Gu Sui knew that she would never allow herself to let go again.
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