What does it feel like to love someone deeply in your youth but ultimately not end up together with them?
The morning after marrying Zhou Jiamu.
When Shen Nanxing woke up, she was lying in bed when Zhou Jiamu went to bring her breakfast. She was idly browsing Zhihu when she came across this title.
For some reason, Shen Nanxing suddenly thought of her romantic journey and Zhou Jiamu.
I thought of Chi Zhao.
Ten years ago, Shen Nanxing never imagined that her life would have nothing to do with Chi Zhao.
She would marry another man named Zhou Jiamu.
Shen Nanxing once liked Chi Zhao, or rather, it was a deep love rather than just liking.
She met Chi Zhao when they were children. Chi Zhao was the young master of the Chi family and was good friends with his cousin Shen Lin and his younger cousin Shen Ting.
When she was in her teens, Chi Zhao frequently visited the Shen family.
As the daughter of the Shen family, she naturally had to interact with him, and during these interactions, Shen Nanxing couldn't help but develop feelings for Chi Zhao.
When she was very young, she vowed that she would marry Chi Zhao in this lifetime. Her brother asked her why.
She spoke with considerable pride, telling her brother that the only person standing beside Chi Zhao in this life was her, Shen Nanxing, and only she, Shen Nanxing, was worthy of Chi Zhao.
She was still young at the time, and no one believed her when she said she liked Chi Zhao. Perhaps to prove that she wasn't just talking nonsense as a child, her liking for Chi Zhao lasted from her teens until her twenties.
During this time, she told Chi Zhao countless times that she liked him.
But every time, Chi Zhao would just laugh and say, "What nonsense are you talking about, kid? Do you even know what 'like' means?"
Yes, in Chi Zhao's heart, she is just a child.
She doesn't even know what liking someone means.
Then she would tell Chi Zhao with her true feelings that she liked him, that she, Shen Nanxing, wanted to marry him, and that she wanted to be with him.
With this in mind, Shen Nanxing frequently appeared around Chi Zhao. When Chi Zhao was in college and she was in high school, she often brought her homework to Chi's house to do, and she often went out with Chi Zhao with the help of her brother. What's more, during the most intense period of her senior year of high school, she was in Nancheng while Chi Zhao was abroad. In order to see him, she put aside her studies, bought a plane ticket by herself, and went abroad alone for the first time to the city where Chi Zhao lived.
At that time, she seemed to be full of enthusiasm. She followed in Chi Zhao's footsteps without hesitation, even going to the city where he was, just to say a word to him.
Happy birthday, Chi Zhao.
In tracing Chi Zhao's life experiences, Shen Nanxing learned many things that were etched into her very being, but two things she could never forget in her lifetime.
The first thing was that during high school, she went abroad to find Chi Zhao, wanting to celebrate his birthday.
But what she saw was Chi Zhao with his arm around a pure and lovely girl. She was so angry that she fainted and rushed up to question Chi Zhao.
Why? Who is that girl? Is she his girlfriend?
Chi Zhao's reaction at the time was indifferent. He looked at her coldly, as if she were a stranger. What did he say?
He said.
Shen Nanxing, my affairs have nothing to do with you.
Yes, they've known each other since childhood, and the name Shen Nanxing sounds so normal and ordinary to others. But hearing it from Chi Zhao only evokes a chill, a bone-chilling cold.
She came abroad against all odds to celebrate his birthday, but he was so indifferent to her.
That day, she smashed the birthday cake in her hand in front of Chi Zhao, crying and saying, "Chi Zhao, I, Shen Nanxing, will never like you again."
After returning to China that day, she fell seriously ill. She began to put aside Chi Zhao and started to study hard to get into the school she wanted.
Later, she was able to attend medical school as she had wished.
Just as she was about to put it down, Chi Zhao returned.
The pure and lovely girl was no longer by his side. He and his brother came to see her at the university where she was studying. He patted her head and said that one sentence.
What's wrong? Are you really angry with me? Are you planning to never talk to me again?
When Chi Zhao said this, his tone was so gentle, and the smile in his eyes was so captivating and enchanting.
That one sentence made her relentlessly pursue Chi Zhao once again.
She forgot about the unpleasant things that happened abroad. Every day, besides studying, she would go to see Chi Zhao, and Chi Zhao no longer rejected her as before.
They spent a long time together and got along very well. It was that kind of harmony that made her almost believe that Chi Zhao liked her.
If you don't like her, why would you throw a big birthday party for her?
Why would I give her a gift?
Why would he come to the hospital and stay with her for a whole day and night when she was sick?
After graduating, she successfully stayed on to work at a hospital in Nancheng.
She thought she could wait for Chi Zhao to confess his feelings, and for him to formally introduce her to others as his girlfriend.
She performed exceptionally well at the hospital and was promoted shortly after joining. She was very happy on the day of her promotion.
She wanted to share her joy with Chi Zhao immediately, but since she and Chi Zhao didn't have a confirmed romantic relationship, it was somewhat inappropriate for her to ask him out alone.
So she had her brothers organize a party, ostensibly to celebrate her promotion, but her real purpose was to get Chi Zhao to acknowledge their relationship, confess his feelings, and accept her as his girlfriend.
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